Conflicted

[deadspider]

    Growing up, games were always my source of comfort. During my school years I found it hard to get along with other kids, because of that I was constantly bullied and ostracized. It's not hard to see why I turned to the internet, primarily gaming as a result.
The internet was, and still is my one place of comfort. The one place where at the click of a button, I could socialize and meet like minded people. I could make jokes they would laugh at, and most importantly I could feel like I actually belong. It doesn't help that I'm an aspie and don't mesh well with most "normal" people.
I've been putting this off for weeks now, and I have work in an hour. So I'm just gonna say it: I feel like I'm living a double life.
In real life I work at a grocery store, play guitar in a rock band, write, I want to learn how to sing and maybe draw if I want to get into comics (seems unlikely since I can't draw worth shit, I bought courses but I haven't used them. That's like $400 down the drain.).
But in the "virtual" world I like to surf the web and play video games all day. I noticed as I kept playing video games, my real life seems to be deteriorating.
    - I think I'm gaining weight from just sitting around all day. Haven't measured my weight to prove it. But there are signs.
    - I'm losing interest in playing guitar, and I have NO interest in drawing, and I procrastinate writing. But I just want to play more and more.
I know I have a choice here: Either take the "blue pill" and be stuck working dead end job after dead end job, playing video games and wondering what could've been. Or take the red pill and drop the games (except for Rocksmith, which I'll explain later), commit to learning guitar, singing, writing, and drawing.
I feel like the "red pill" life has so much more potential than the blue pill. I could tour the world and leave a lasting legacy with art and creativity. But with the much easier blue pill life (and maybe more realistic if I'm being honest) I would just be a consumer. If I died tommorow, I wouldn't leave much of a legacy.
Regardless of what I do, I don't plan to quit games completely. The one game I plan to keep (if I were to "quit") would be Rocksmith. If you don't know what it is, think of Guitar Hero but instead you're using a REAL guitar/bass. So you can actually learn how to play a song.
The problem is I can only play it on PC via steam, on the same account I have tons of games on. So it's hard not to play the other games since they're just a few clicks away.
Well, I have to go to work now. I hope my rant was coherent enough for you to know just what the hell is going on with my double life. Peace out.

[chiliflavor]

Welcome to the forums, @deadspider!

Rocksmith seems interesting! 

On 7/3/2020 at 6:39 AM, deadspider said:

The problem is I can only play it on PC via steam, on the same account I have tons of games on. So it's hard not to play the other games since they're just a few clicks away.

Indeed! I am certain that it could be a problem in the future, especially when life gets rough. 😅 I'm playing guitar too, but was a drummer before in a rock band. Before, when we were active, we used Guitar Pro. I think it's they're in Guitar Pro 6 now. You might want to check it out so that you can refrain from anything that involves "playing games."

Good luck and take it easy! Congrats on quitting. See you around! 😄

[OptimisticMalcontent]

Hey, deadspider! Congrats on taking the first step to a more positive life. I think its fine for you to want to play Rocksmith after your 90-day. I've tried it and its a lot closer to gameified guitar lessons than it is to Guitar hero, at least in my opinion. I