Reza Posted June 15, 2020 Author Share Posted June 15, 2020 day 14 : i woke up at 5 : 30 . i made breakfast for everyone 😀 . then started study almost at 6 :30 till 8: 30 . then i went for shopping for 30 min .at 9 i was a but tired i slept for 1:30 hours. i ate luch and spent time with family . after that i took a shower (and sadly broke the no fap , but its ok )then almost studied whole evening , finished all the chemestry book today . also i ordered a tablet . now i dont have laptop or phone . i do my stuff with tablet . now just chilling . might study more maybe not . 👍 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 15, 2020 Author Share Posted June 15, 2020 quick update (and a reminder) : tonight i went for a walk and a few things came into my mind 1. i found out discipline in writing journal is the thing that makes me progress . so i commit to write my journal in exact time in day 2. when i am about to relapce or ruin my good progress i should always remember " why " u started this journal at the first place 3. my first goal was to "not be a loser anymore " but now i want to be " a winner " so i want to start working on other aspects in my life ---------------------------------------------------------------- NEW WAY TO WRITE MY JOURNAL : steady goals : this part is for goals that either i started at the first place or goals that a accomplished . this is my main part of the journal . by breaking them i set punishment for myself 1. no gaming 2. no fap 3. keeping positive atitude 4. good sleeping routine 5. always do my prioruties goals to accomplish soon : this part is for goals that make me improve even more . main purpose of this part is add it / them to my steady goals 1. control my expenses : i don't control what i spend so i keep wasting tons of money mostly on drinks and internet and phone bills. i work on spending money wisely how was my day : a short summeray of what i did at the day , when i woke uo , what did i do , what did i do good or what u did wrong and etc. PS : this planning is combining my last ways of writing journal also i added some new stuff . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 16, 2020 Author Share Posted June 16, 2020 Day 15 : check steady goals : 1. no gaming✔ 2. no fap✔ 3. keeping positive atitude✔ 4. good sleeping routine✔(almost) 5. always do my prioruties✔ Check in progress goals : 1. control my expenses : today i managed to save some money that i normally waste How was my day ? Night before i had to help my sister with her child so i slept abit more untill 9:30 . I woke up studied abit then i went for shopping for house ( i asked them split some duties so i can help them). Evening i went out to get the tablet i ordered ( currently writing with it) . I had some paper work somewhere so it took a while . Now im back and resting to study some more at night. I was busy today so i didnt study as i should. But missions accomplished so im fine with it. Ill try to study at night 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandTrees Posted June 16, 2020 Share Posted June 16, 2020 Great job today. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 17, 2020 Author Share Posted June 17, 2020 Quick update : a while ago i made post about how I lost my intrests and I feel like a Soulless body . Now middle of Day 16 I am chilling and wating for lunch . I installed bunch of apps in my tablet to try it and see How they look and also Downloaded some movies. But surprisingly I Donot even enjoy them anymore(in a positive wayNot like before). I tried to watch a movie But I did not even like it. Now I like to spend time on stuff that actually helps like exercise or study. I see this as a huge improvement compare to me Two weeks ago . peace ✌ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 17, 2020 Author Share Posted June 17, 2020 well well Here go : Day 16: 1. no gaming✖ 2. no fap✔ 3. keeping positive atitude✔ 4. good sleeping routine✔( 5. always do my prioruties✔ Check in progress goals : 1. control my expenses : it was ok . Just one drink new goal : minimize Drinking Sugar How was my day? I babysat my neice last night and I slept at 5,30 am set alarm for 9 with a Heavy metal music luckily That woke me up the I studied untill 1, 30 PM then late lunch and watched a movie for 2hours then I studied for Inour then I want hanging out withmy budd He invited me for league oflegends game. I didint go hard on myself and played I game took 30 min Personally I do not consider it as Relapace But thats a x inmy goads. beside this Part Idid good forest of theday. I still got time for the night Itry study some more 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
WillDonisthorpe Posted June 17, 2020 Share Posted June 17, 2020 Considering you only played one game and it was for social. I don't think its too bad. Especially considering how addictive that game is. I used to play League and I never knew when to stop xD 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 18, 2020 Author Share Posted June 18, 2020 Day 17 : 1. no gaming✔ 2. no fap✔ 3. keeping positive atitude✔ 4. good sleeping routine✔ 5. always do my prioruties ✔ and ✖ Check in progress goals : 1. control my expenses : it was ok . Just one drink again today 2. Minizing sugar : yea i fucked up today . Drinked like 3 glasses of sugar how was my day ? I slept at almost12. Had a good sleep and woke up at 9,40 I went and bought a new sim card. then I wokrked with my Tablet and chilling. I was so exhausted . I Recieved 50 gb freei nternet so... yea Lam Downloading every thing I can, music , music and... . I had a big fukin temmpt to download game with that but i didnt thank god .Then i finished my chemistry book and hosetly i loved stiochiometry . Amazing subject . Then not much just chilling till now . Maybe i go out tonight , maybe study . Idk yet 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 19, 2020 Author Share Posted June 19, 2020 Day 18 : had a pretty fucked up night . Morning was crazy too . Having headache all day . Just didnt do much . Migraine headaches are the worst . I ll make it up tommorow Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 20, 2020 Author Share Posted June 20, 2020 Day 19 : this is embaresing me to tell i fucked up today again and its not even my fault. Only people with migraine know what pain ive been thru . Migrain headaches usually last between 4 - 72 hours . Mine just got better like 2 3 hours ago i had it since yesterday . I had a massive fukin argure with my mom and made my day even worst . I am a bit better now i try to study if i could . I had a really amazing routine i think i fucked it up 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
BooksandTrees Posted June 21, 2020 Share Posted June 21, 2020 13 hours ago, Reza said: Day 19 : this is embaresing me to tell i fucked up today again and its not even my fault. Only people with migraine know what pain ive been thru . Migrain headaches usually last between 4 - 72 hours . Mine just got better like 2 3 hours ago i had it since yesterday . I had a massive fukin argure with my mom and made my day even worst . I am a bit better now i try to study if i could . I had a really amazing routine i think i fucked it up Make sure to sleep, eat, drink water, and find calmness during this time. Medicine too and avoid bright lights. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 21, 2020 Author Share Posted June 21, 2020 Quick update : i have really bad eating habits . My mom usualy cooks seperate food for me , today she asked me what do u want for lunch i said you know what , i eat everything you eat today . Food made of onion witch i hate the most . I said fuck it and fulled each spoon with onion 🤣 that was so hard but made me happy . This shoud have been done long time ago . I slowly start eating everything i hate Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 21, 2020 Author Share Posted June 21, 2020 (edited) 😄 Edited June 21, 2020 by Reza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 21, 2020 Author Share Posted June 21, 2020 (edited) Day 20 ( wow made it 20 ✌😆) : no gaming✔ i lost like 80% of my intrests in games . I love it 2. no fap ✖ meh , i need it sometimes 😆 3. keeping positive atitude✔ 4. good sleeping routine✔ i did a pretty good job here i slept at 3 but i woke up af 7 5. always do my prioruties ✔ and ✖ Check in progress goals : 1. control my expenses : i have no idea how my money just disaperard . Im gonna write them down 2. Sugar : ah thats a tough one how was my day ? Woke up at 7 although i slept pretty late . I started study right away . Morning i started my workouts really really light it was good . Evening i watched a movie then i went for help to carry new stuff . My wrists got fucked . Then studied a bit and now , as always chillin Edited June 21, 2020 by Reza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted June 22, 2020 Author Share Posted June 22, 2020 Day 21 : 1.no gaming✔ 2. no fap ✖ 3. keeping positive atitude✔ 4. good sleeping routine ✖ 5. always do my prioruties ✖ Check in progress goals : 1. control my expenses ✔ 2. Sugar ✖ how was my day : i woke up at 6 while i was shaking . I felt exteremly sick i really could not get out of bed. So i slept till 10 . Unfortunetely i got sick , its probably a cold . My whole body hurts . And i have headache . I just rested today trying to get better . For the last couple of days i keep having bad luck ... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted July 7, 2020 Author Share Posted July 7, 2020 Hey guys ! in my journal i mentioned i felt sick for couple of days . well it got so worst and it was so hard . i tested for covid-19 couple of times . it was literally one of the hardest sicknesses i had in my entire life . i quarantined my self for a week and waited for test result , thankfully it was negative . but i don't know what the fuck that was . it nearly killed me . still after 2-3 weeks my throat hurts and i can't sleep well at nights . but over all i feel way better . just wanted to say i dint leave my journal it was because of my sickness . i start writing my journal again , it is in day 36 now i guess and i work toward my goals again . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted July 8, 2020 Author Share Posted July 8, 2020 an update from day 21 to day 36 : so i got a disease it slowly got worst and worst into the point that i literally wasn't able do anything . but during this time i came up with some new stuff and those will be my new goals . it's been a while i got into programming stuff and i really loved it . i decided to study some major and study programming from self-teaching way. after i got into it i found out that actualy needs much more work to much more effort to put in ( already finished html css , and learning js now ) . in iran programming has a weird place among all the jobs . it has many many good and wellpaid job , yet lack of good programmers makes this one of the highest unemployed rates over the country (as far i know) , so basically it's a high skilled demand job and if you don't put work on it you can't land a job . i actualy have been doing so good in it . i at least tried to work an hour learning and practicing and i really love doing it . after long huge argues with my familly they agreed to help me with it and let me decide to future for myself . but i should study some major only for sake of the degree of it. i probably study economics or whatever only to go to tehran , beacuse obviously its capital and situation is way more better and easier to land a job there . also i met a professional programmer who owns a company . he is actually helping me during this process . Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted July 8, 2020 Author Share Posted July 8, 2020 Day 37 : Today i woke at at 10:00 . buying and preparing breakfast and eating it took me an hour. from 11 to 1:30 pm i worked programming a little bit plus little study my books . i rested for half on hour and i worked non stop from 2 pm to 6 pm . right away i grabbed my book at studied for 2 hours . after that i chilled for about 2 hours . then i worked one more half an hour untill now . a bit later TV series is going to start soon , i watch it and i'll probably going to sleep . i am exhausted to day . i worked alot. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted July 12, 2020 Author Share Posted July 12, 2020 Day 38 and 39 : i have pretty much the same routine everyday . i wake up around 10 i spend almost all my day learning and programming. although i am doing good but i need a solid plan to know what im gonna do untill end of the year( we have different calendar here ) . so my tasks/goals are : 1. learn programming at least to the point that i am employable 2.keep learning new programming languages / overall just keep making progress 3. learn English completely with all books and sources i have 4. get in shape ( first i should go to the doctor , my arm started hurting so bad plus i feel my left eye is weak ) 5. good diet - healthy eating 6. improve my mentality 7. grow some good beard😂 8. be more regular . 9. working on my will 10. and the last one . keep writing my journal . i try to figure it out how to arrange them to achieve one and every single one of them untill end of the year 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted July 14, 2020 Author Share Posted July 14, 2020 Day 39 and 40 : Ok Finally i told the truth to my family witch turned into a massive argue witch i would say it was well worth it that they finally know what is in my mind and what is my choice . i mean i am 21 it's my right to decide what ever the fuck i want to do with my future , yes i understand they are my parents and they are worried but i can assure you i am not worried less about myself than they are for me . when we were eating lunch i told them that i don't want to go university and i want to start my career as a programmer soon and i have made huge progress and etc . they are traditional family and of course they won't accept it but i 100% believe in my way and i will make it work . beside that i started to do something for my future now i am on by myself now . i went and started investing in stocks , got new credit card etc . actually i am so excited that finally told what has been in my mind for days now , although i heard stuff like " you wont be able you find a job ever , you will be poor for rest of your life , now it's a day that we cut our hopes on you " but all it matters is me and my future in front of me . i mentioned i got 10 goals for the rest of the year (8 months to the new year here) i work on each everyday , i am currently doing it but in regular and ordered way Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted July 15, 2020 Author Share Posted July 15, 2020 Day 41 : - it has been a few days i am trying to fix my sleeping schedule , i fixed a huge part of it but there is a problem. my family is Muslim but i am not ( they don't know) so every morning at 5 am i have to wake up and pretend to read salat ( Muslims pray) and then sleep . this makes me 10x tired i need to find a way for it . maybe sleep earlier to wake up at that time or prepare good healthy breakfast from the night before to eat after i wake up , i figure it out - i woke up at 11 morning , pretty late since i should practice more for programming . after waking up i ate breakfast and started to working on laptop ( laptop is my sister's i borrowed it for a while) .there is a problem in windows called blue screen of death , if you don't know it's basically an error appears on a blue screen causes the system to restart to prevent data loss . - after that i tired to fix it because this problem is bothering me for a while. i tried windows reset witch took a while , after system reset i guess problem solved but it took almost 2 hours . - my dad told me that he needs the laptop ( my sister's laptop , witch i was using) for his work because it has larger screen and it's more comfortable for him to carry it with him. instead he gave me his laptop for myself . its a good laptop but it's strong and heavy laptop but i like it . at least i own a laptop now . - anyway after that i installed every app i need and stuff , i guess it takes a while to get used to this new laptop . this laptop does what i need for me so it's all fine i guess . - good news about myself : after trying to quit league of legends i still used to play once in a while , that turned into installing again , but i was using in a complete moderation (not more than 3 games in day) . but i quit that too and basically i don't have any games now . - one of my goals is to create a good routine and develop good habits in me . i still don't have exact plan to what should i do first , second and etc i am trying to find a good way to force myself some habits but yet have some freedom in my schedule. Peace ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted July 15, 2020 Author Share Posted July 15, 2020 i was thinking and i came with a plan i try to write it down here . i compared what i want to be with what i am now and i got some results 1. fixing sleep schedule : since i should spend much time on programming i need to fix my sleep . i try to wake up earlier in order to be more tired at night to sleep sooner . i repeat this cycle until at a point that my sleep routine is fixed 2. learn continuously : since i am learning programming i need to be update and learn everyday . consistency is key . and it get 2x important now while everybody is disagree with my choice and this is basically what i am going to to in the rest of life so i must be expert in what i am learning 3. habit of reading books : book are treasure . i started to read couple of months ago but i stopped . books teach us many things . full of experiences . i make sure to spend a reasonable amount of time on reading books 4.improve mental health : i hate to admit it but i am a little weak mentally . i can easily lose my mind in situations , get frustrated . my mind sometimes gets busy on stupid stuff for hours . this also works with my will . if i work on this i also get a stronger will . 5.be independent : since i got an ultimatum from family i need to learn how to stand on own feet , considering i am 21 and i should've done it long time ago . but still its a thing i should learn . also i should move couple of months later when i landed a job i need to move . good thing is this one i started it couple of days ago . i am investing in stocks to make some more money out of it that can support me for couple of months when i move 6. develop my social skills : its been couple of years i got distance from public and social . when this pandemic got better or who knows maybe a cure found i want to join social groups and just be more in the crowd it is going to be a long journey . i don't just think of end of it . i want to enjoy the process and the feeling of getting better every day ! peace ! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted July 16, 2020 Author Share Posted July 16, 2020 (edited) day 42 : first update : last night i could not sleep at all . i was in bed trying to sleep until 3 am then i took a shower and worked on my java script for almost 2 hours . at 5 i slept but i set alarm because i didn't want to sleep until evening . so i woke at 9:30 it was really hard but i did it . then i went and bought something for breakfast and started working right away . its actually really hard . one thing happened that my parents actually tried to speak with me to convince me go to normal university . unlike last times that i lied to them to keep them pleased of me and avoid argue i actually insisted on my decision and i told them hey , that is my way and that's what i chose , you cannot force me to do thing i don't want to . they are not really happy about it but i am sure even they will be happy of the outcome . not it's 1:30 i am waiting to eat that delicious BBQ 😁 then rest a little bit , start reading my new book and start working again . somewhat between normal/good morning so far . no complain 😄 2nd update : i ate lunch and relaxed for almost an hour . by that time i think it was 3 pm . so again i started working . later on i got a huge migraine and still have it . i slept at 5 until 7 . i really want to see a doctor but unfortunately i can't go out because of the pandemic . i just wait for it to gets better then start working again Edited July 16, 2020 by Reza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted July 17, 2020 Author Share Posted July 17, 2020 (edited) day 43 : first update : i had the perfect sleep schedule that i wanted . i slept at 12 night and woke up at 6:30 , ate a healthy breakfast and at 7 i started my work . i worked straight until 11 , at 11:20 i was exhausted , you know spending much time behind the lap top and righting constantly is exhausting , anyway i slept until no , 1:30 pm . i would probably wait to eat lunch and if not , then i again , same routine , lap top , vs code and video of courses . xD second update : i met an amazing person , we were speaking almost all day about literally everything . took me whole evening , but it was well worth it . Edited July 17, 2020 by Reza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Reza Posted July 18, 2020 Author Share Posted July 18, 2020 (edited) day 44 : first update : i woke up a bit late around 2 am . at the morning i woke at at 9 am . there were nothing to eat for breakfast so i started working right away . now it's 3 pm . i almost did nothing but working + chat with a friend at the same time . second update : my journal are always short because i don't do much in a day . just regular routine repeats everyday . pretty much i worked with my laptop all evening . nothing much . Edited July 18, 2020 by Reza Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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