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28 May 2020 - Day 0

Just finished Module 1 of Respawn where I was told to create a journal, so here we are. Feeling pretty good about this whole quitting games thing. I'm glad that a community like this exists. I don't know exactly how I'm going to set these journal entries up yet or what I'm going to write, but I guess I'll figure that out along the way. Tomorrow I'm gonna complete at least one more module of Respawn. Excited.

Peace out.

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18 hours ago, GrainSiloEnthusiast said:

I've been wondering about Respawn... What is it like? 

I can't really say much at this point since I almost just started it, but the reason i bought Respawn was not so much for the program itself. I bought it to show myself that I was willing to invest not only time and thought, but also money into dealing with this addiction. I don't know if this makes sense, but buying the program definitely makes me feel more committed to quitting games than ever before. I recommend it so far by the way, having a clear-cut program to follow definitely helps.

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29 May 2020 - Day 1

I slept in a bit today because I stayed up in bed yesterday watching a little too much Netflix (whoops, bad habit). Got through the second module of Respawn, where I uninstalled everything gaming-related, deleted steam account and set up a website blocker. It didn't feel that bad or terrifying to be honest, but maybe it's just because I haven't really realised what I've done yet or what I'm getting myself into. I wanted to take my graphics card out of my PC and but it in a box somewhere, but it's a little late now so I'll do it tomorrow. Tomorrow I'll also finish module 3 of Respawn.

 

What I did well today

  • Completed another module in Respawn
  • Got some important work done early in the day
  • Took time to hang out with friends and family
  • Worked out

 

What I can do better

  • Wake up earlier
  • Watch a little less Netflix

 

Going to bed without my phone now. Goodnight.

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30 May 2020 - Day 2

Finished another module of respawn today and took my graphics card out of my PC and put it away. Today was alright I guess, though I didn't really do anything too exiting. I've been wanting to watch the Godfather series for a while, but I just found out that today was the last day the movies were available on Netflix. Kind of a bummer. Don't really know why I'm writing this, it's kinda random. I guess I need some more structure in these journals and also not write them at night while I'm half asleep. The weather should be great tomorrow, so I'll be spending some time out. Also gonna finish another module of respawn and put a bit of thought into the purpose and structure of this journal. Night.

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  • 3 weeks later...

Monday, 15 June 2020 - Day 18

Thoughts

Well some time has gone by. I haven't been playing or watching games during this period, but haven't been particularly motivated to do something great either. Moving forward, I'll try to post here everyday after dinner.

 

What I did today

  • Worked out at home
  • Played the piano
  • Worked a ton
  • Sat with my family and went though old pictures... always fun to look back

 

Something I learned today

Fast food became a thing not long after WW2. It originated in the US, which probably explain their obesity problem to some degree. Pizza Hut were the first ones to deliver fast food to the International Space Station. Delivery cost was more that 1.000.000 USD. Quite the price to pay for a 15 dollar meal.

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 7 a.m. - Nope
    • Snoozed until 8:30 a.m. Got an idea toady of placing my alarm clock behind my curtain, so I have to open it and let some light into my room before I can even turn off the alarm. Hopefully that'll wake my lazy ass up.
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Check
  • Meditate - Check
  • Walk the dog - Check
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 9 p.m. - Nope
    • Writing this at almost midnight... tomorrow I'll write journal after dinner to be on time.

 

Tomorrow I'll

  • Go to the gym
  • Work
  • Complete Respawn module 4
  • Write down short-term and long-term goals

 

Goodnight.

Edited by Ben0
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Tuesday, 16 June 2020 - Day 19

Thoughts

Phew a lot happened today. Or I should probably say a lot work-related stuff happened. Got a big project going on right now. Barely had time for anything else, but that also means I didn't waste a lot of time today, which is not too shabby for my standards.

I had a wave of cravings about a week ago, but these last couple of days I've had none. Probably because I've been pretty busy, but it's pretty great nonetheless. I think my brain is slowly returning to calmer state overall now that I don't play or watch games. I now actually have days where I can remember all of the stuff that happened and feel pretty good about it. Before i quit gaming, the days were pretty much the same: A big mess. Blurry. Feeling stressed and anxious because I felt like there wasn't enough time. Glad those days are over. Now that I really think about it, I don't think I ever want to go back.

I didn't find time to continue with Respawn today, and I doubt I'll have time tomorrow either, so I'll have to put it off a bit. Same with writing down goals.

 

What I did today

  • Went to the gym
  • Work
  • Played some piano
  • Took a walk at the beach at sunset

 

Something I learned today

A windbag is a person who talks a lot without really saying anything meaningful or of value. Glad I learned that word, that'll come in handy lol.

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 7 a.m. - Nope
    • Snoozed until 8:40 a.m. today... just in time to get ready for my meeting af 9 o'clock. I guess it's difficult to wake up early when you're not motivated or have nothing to look forward to. The alarm-behind-curtain idea was probably not too bad, I think I just went to bed too late. Tonight I'll go to bed at 11:30 p.m. so I can get just about 8 hours in my bed and hopefully feel rested when the alarm goes off. Also, I put a couple (5) backup alarms on my phone. Hope that'll do the trick.
    • I once had a period in my life where I woke up at 6 a.m. and it was the best way to start the day. So peaceful with no distractions. That's probably my goal, but for now 7 a.m. would be great.
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Check
  • Meditate - Check
  • Walk the dog - Check
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 10 p.m.* - Nope
    • Changed from 9 p.m. to 10 p.m. to make it a bit more realistic. Didn't have time to write this journal after dinner (spent some time with my family instead), so now it's 11:00 p.m. Tomorrow I'll hopefully make it on time.

 

Tomorrow I have to

  • Call my hairdresser for an appointment
  • Finish my book and return it to the library
  • Continue work project
  • Practice piano
  • Band practice
  • Complete a Respawn module (if I have time)

 

I'll see you guys tomorrow.

Edited by Ben0
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I know the problem with waking up too late. I am in the same spot right now. Waking up at around 8.00am - 8.30am. 
It's really hard because when you don't have that passion nor a job it's tough to wake up early. Also hope to wake up
at 7am soon.

What piano piece are you working on? I am also playing piano.

Keep it up!

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@mks Thanks for reading! I just recently started trying to learn this glorious piece from the Ratatouille movie (my goal is to be able to play from the start of the video to 1:39). Playing soundtracks from movies is probably what I love to play the most on piano. I've played piano for about 3 years, but this piece is the most challenging yet I think, so we'll have to see if I can power through and make it, I really hope so! How long have you played piano for?

 

Wednesday, 17 June 2020 - Day 20

Thoughts

Overall pretty happy with today. Woke up a bit late, but still managed to work out a bit before work. Got some work done. Played piano and had a band practice session. No real cravings or nostalgia. Tomorrow I'll have more time to do some more hobby/fun stuff, really looking forward to that.

 

What I did today

  • Called my hairdresser for an appointment
  • Finished my book and returned it to the library
  • Continued work project
  • Practiced piano
  • Had some band practice
  • (So basically everything I had planned from the day before. Good job me)
  • Also watched a few funny videos of some violin lads on youtube

 

Something I learned today

Buying a $30 violin is not something you want.

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 7 a.m. - Nah
    • Went to bed too late and even used my phone in bed which did not make me fall asleep any faster. Today I'll wind down at 10 p.m. and go to sleep at 11. Tomorrow I'm going to get up at 7 a.m. and go to the gym first thing no matter how I'm feeling. I really need some hardcore discipline back in my life.
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Yep
  • Meditate - Yas
  • Walk the dog - Will do right after posting this
  • Write journal - Guess I don't really have to answer this
  • No electronics after 10 p.m. - Will do!

 

Tomorrow I have to

  • Continue work project
  • Complete a Respawn module
  • Write two verses in a song for my little sister's party next weekend
  • Write down personal goals

 

Bye!

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@Ben0 Sound like great progress! I play piano since I am 14 I think, I am 31 now. But I didn't practice a lot so it's not all those
years of practice. I am just playing around some melodies doing some improvisations. But I want to practice more. My hardest
piece was Besaid Island from the Piano Collections from Final Fantasy. Took me around 3 months to learn 😄 So with time
we can learn a lot but it was really hard to learn and took really long.

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Thursday, 18 June 2020 - Day 21

Thoughts

Today was alright. I guess I'm saying "alright" because it actually went pretty well in the early part of the day, but a couple of hours ago I got caught up in some music stuff and lost track of time. Suddenly it was 11:30 p.m. and now I'm suuuper tired. Actually... just as I started writing this journal my feeling of tiredness has disappeared because of the fact that I'm sitting in front of a laptop screen on a forum that has no night/dark mode (I think?). Anyway, no more chit-chatting.

 

What I did today

  • Gym
  • Continued work project
  • Went to the library to chill/read/work
  • Wrote the verses to the song
  • Rediscovered my love for making music (yea this happens about twice a month)
  • Changed the headlight on my car

 

Something I learned today

I learned a bit about parallel compression in music. It's basically where you split a sound signal in two, where one is dry and the other one is compressed. Then you send them to the master and can change the levels of the two signals depending on how tight you want it to be. I've only learned about it theoretically, but definitely gonna try it out sometime.

Oh and another thing: I get easily irritated when I'm hungry and when I'm sleepy, but when you combine those two... it's really not pretty. 

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 7 a.m. - Yes!
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Yep
  • Meditate - Yas
  • Walk the dog - Indeed
  • Write journal - Yessir
  • No electronics after 10 p.m. - Uhm no
    • I need to get my priorities straight. After dinner I changed the headlights on my car instead of writing. Then proceeded to do music stuff instead of writing. Now it's late and I don't feel like writing. It feels like a chore instead of something I actually want to do.

 

Tomorrow I have to

  • Continue work project
  • Complete a Respawn module (oops forgot today)
  • Call some friends

 

Gonna have a quick snack now (because I can't sleep on an empty stomach) then go to bed.

 

Farewell for now

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Friday, 19 June 2020 - Day 22

Thoughts

I'm kinda in a hurry right now but today was not really as productive as I would have liked. Spent too much time watching recommended youtube videos on my phone. Some were interesting enough, but not really what I wanted to do with my time today. Got some good things done too though.

 

What I did today

  • Short home workout
  • Continued work project
  • Got a haircut
  • Made music
  • Made dinner
  • Watched a bad movie with the fam

 

Something I learned today

Hairspray makes hair... super stiff. Like, wow.

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 7 a.m. - Nope
    • Woke up in the middle of the night because of thunder, and didn't really sleep well overall, so I woke up at 9 a.m. Also went to bed late so I'm not gonna beat myself up because of it.
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Check
  • Meditate - Gonna do right after posting
  • Walk the dog - Gonna do right after meditating (doing it like this kinda feels like cheating, but whatever)
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 10 p.m. - Nope
    • Watched a movie after dinner so currently writing this at almost 11 p.m. It's all good though, I'm gonna cut myself some slack. The movie was kinda bad though, I should have just stopped watching halfway though instead of wasting my time finishing it.

 

In the future, I want to my habits in the order above (maybe except taking the dog for a walk, since it's a nice way to wind down).

 

Tomorrow I have to

  • Go to gym
  • Practice piano
  • Continue song
  • Chill

 

So long.

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Sunday, 21 June 2020 - Day 24

Thoughts

Didn't write yesterday because it got late and going to sleep was the better choice. Today I woke up around 10 a.m., but despite that I actually had a pretty productive day. I worked a lot on the big project, which is closed to finished at this point. Spent some time with my family and chilled out a bit. Played some piano and went for a walk near the beach. Tomorrow I'll have a lot of time on my hands, so I guess it's about time I proceed with the respawn program. Also want to go to the library and do some programming stuff.

I don't write about gaming that much. The reason for that is simply that I'm not thinking about it that much. I just realised that over three weeks have gone by since I quit, which is great! Time has gone by pretty fast since I've been keeping myself busy with different projects. I do miss some aspects of video games though, most notably the community, but more than anything else I'm glad that a community like this exist to remind me that I'm not alone and that in five years, I'll look back and thank myself and this community for changing my life for the better. It's all about getting a little perspective.

 

What I did today

  • Had brunch
  • Did laundry
  • Worked for around 5 hours
  • Played piano
  • Went for a walk
  • Chilled

 

Something I learned today

I learned what a blues scale looks like on a piano. It's kind of fun to mess around with, although I don't completely understand the theory behind it yet regarding chords etc. Really want to learn more about jazz music and the theory behind that among other things.

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 7 a.m. - Nope
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Off day
  • Meditate - Nope
  • Walk the dog - Check
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 10 p.m. - Yas

 

Tomorrow I have to

  • Do my habits before anything else
  • Apply for university
  • Finish a song
  • Continue with respawn
  • Go to the library and do programming stuff (got a specific project in mind)

 

I'll see you lovely people tomorrow!

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Monday, 22 June 2020 - Day 25

What I did today

  • Woke up at 8.45
  • Did a home bodyweight workout
  • Worked way more than expected
  • That's pretty much it

 

Thoughts

I didn't expect there to be a lot of stuff I had to do today, but I was wrong. Work filled up pretty much all the time I had, so not much to report. Feeling a bit... bummed out? since I didn't get to do much of what I wanted today. Tomorrow'll be better.

 

Something I learned today

I learned about ISBN and how they work. Very exiting stuff. (not really, but good to know I guess?)

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 7 a.m. - Nope
    • Tomorrow I have to wake up at 7 in order to make it to the gym and back home in time for work.
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Check
  • Meditate - Check
  • Walk the dog - I'll do after posting this
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 10 p.m. - Yessir

 

Have a good one.

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Tuesday, 23 June 2020 - Day 26

What I did today

  • 10:00 Woke up, made the bed, got ready for gym
  • 11:00 Went to the gym
  • 13:00 Lunch and chill for a bit
  • 14:00 Work stuff at library
  • 18:00 Dinner, mini-nap
  • 19:00 Spent time with friends
  • 22:30 Current time

 

Thoughts

I hate waking up at 10 a.m. with the feeling that I've already wasted half a day. Waking up early and getting stuff done early in the day is really important to me to feel like I've actually accomplished something that day. Win the morning, win the day. Anyway, considering I woke up late I'm quite happy with what I got done today. The early work meeting got postponed, so I could make it to the gym first thing despite waking up late. The reason I woke up late is last night someone held a party close by, so falling asleep wasn't exactly easy. Also, I had a hard time laying still when trying to fall asleep because I don't think I moved my body enough throughout the day.

 

Something I learned today

The library has crazy download and upload speeds. I mean, at home I have 100mb download and 30mb upload, but that seems sooo slow when compared to the library speeds. Crazy times we live in.

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 7 a.m. - Nope
    • Changing this to 8 a.m. from this point onward. The final goal is to wake up at 6 a.m., but one step at a time.
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Check
  • Meditate - Check
  • Walk the dog - Will do right after
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 10 p.m. - Nope
    • Tomorrow I'll write this journal before dinner, since I don't have much time afterwards. Sometimes I wonder how I spent so much time gaming before I started this. Feels like I have no time now. I guess if you're really addicted to something, you're gonna find a way to make time for it, even if that means making sacrifices.

 

Tomorrow I'll

  • Wake up at 8 a.m.
  • Finish that song
  • Apply for university
  • Practice for band practice
  • Have band practice
  • Also want to produce some sick music if I have time

 

That's all folks

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@chiliflavor Hi! Thank you for reading 😄 I really like that section of the journal as well. It reminds me to keep improving everyday and move in the right direction, even if it's just babysteps. Take care!

 

Wednesday, 24 June 2020 - Day 27

What I did today

  • 08:00 Woke up, morning routine
  • 09:15 Work
  • 11:00 Would have practiced piano here, but I got caught up in youtube videos...
  • 12:00 Piano practice for tonight
  • 13:00 Lunch
  • 14:00 Went to the mechanic to change from winter- to summer tires (I know, I'm a bit early 🙃)
  • 15:00 More practice
  • 17:00 Dinner
  • 17:30 Band practice
  • 20:30 Miscellaneous stuff, cleaning, snack...
  • 21:50 Current time

 

Thoughts

Woke up at 8 today and was pretty tired but I powered through. Piano practice took up more time than planned, but that's okay. Overall pretty satisfied with today, the only thing is I often find myself spending a bit too much time watching meaningless youtube videos to relax after I've been working or doing something mentally exhausting. In these situations I should rather go for a walk or do some cleaning to get my mind off of work instead of going into "entertainment mode". Also should probably delete youtube from my phone.

 

Something I learned today

I learned that a tritone on the piano is two tones 6 semitones from each other. (only click this link if you don't mind a dramatic decrease of your IQ)

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 8 a.m. - Yes!
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Check
  • Meditate - Check
  • Walk the dog - Will do right after
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 10 p.m. - Yes (actually it's 22:09 right now but whatever it's close enough)

 

Tomorrow I'll

  • Go to the gym
  • Work
  • Finish that song (for real now)
  • Apply for university (hopefully for real now?)

 

See ya!

Edited by Ben0
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Thursday, 25 June 2020 - Day 28

What I did today

  • 08:00 Woke up, ready for gym
  • 08:30 Gym
  • 10:30 Breakfast n stuff
  • 11:15 Work
  • 14:30 Lunch
  • 15:30 Wasted time on youtube and the world wide spiderweb
  • 18:00 Back to work
  • 19:30 Dinner
  • 20:00 Work
  • 20:30 Mowed the lawn
  • 21:30 Current time

 

Thoughts

Closing in on a month without doing anything related to video games. The closest I've been to them in this period was probably listening to some animal crossing lofi music, which is surprisingly pleasant to listen to while studying/working. I've really come to enjoy life without video games. The main improvement is definitely that I've been experiencing a lot less anxiety and stress. Well, I'm still a bit stressed about some stuff coming up this weekend, but it's manageable. I've been able to focus more and be more calm overall.

Before quitting, my main problem was actually not actually playing video games. Rather I would spend a crazy amount of time everyday watching gaming livestreams, mostly esports. I would follow my favourite teams like you would follow a sports team. I would constantly be thinking about the game, read news regarding the competitive scene and follow all important games. Even when I wasn't doing something related to the game, it would always be in the back of my mind... when is the next match, next tournament, some recent transfer news etc. It was all I thought about, all I did in my spare time.

I guess I'm just writing this to remind myself how bad it really was, it took over my entire life. I do still miss some aspects of it though, but the bad outweighed the good by far during the time I was addicted. Maybe someday I'll go back to watching it in moderation, if possible, since I did have good moments and it was entertaining and exiting. But not in the near future. My goal for now is to stay clean until September 1 which is 68 days from now, 96 days clean total. By then I'll evaluate and decide how I want to continue forward.

Also, just deleted youtube from my phone. Nothing but a time waster.

 

Something I learned today

When the actors from the sitcom Friends experienced something in real life that would change their physical appearance, the writers would incorporate it into the show. For example, one of the actors broke his arm, and instead of postponing the shooting of that episode, they fit it into the storyline, and the actor actually had a broken arm when shooting the scenes. In another case, one of them got pregnant, which caused the writers to focus the story on that aspect instead of what they initially had planned.

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 08:00 - Check
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Check
  • Meditate - Check
  • Walk the dog - Nope
    • Should have done this after lunch, but my brain decided not to.
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 22:00 - Nope
    • Started writing this at 21:30, but some work stuff came up in the middle, so now it's almost 23:00. I really need to get a better overview of what I need to get done when I start my day so I can prioritise better.

 

Tomorrow I'll

  • Do stuff (hopefully)

 

Au revoir

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Friday, 26 June 2020 - Day 29

What I did today

  • 10:00 Woke up, morning routine
  • 11:00 Mindlessly browsed reddit on my phone
  • 12:00 Work
  • 14:30 Lunch
  • 15:00 Miscellaneous tasks and preparation for a party this weekend
  • 18:30 Piano practice
  • 20:00 Dinner
  • 20:30 More prep
  • 21:55 Current time

 

Thoughts

This morning I made a list of tasks that I wanted to do today, and them split them up into must-do and nice-to-do tasks. I managed to get all must-do tasks done, and also did all but one nice-to-do task, which feels nice, but I'm quite exhausted right now. Tomorrow I will not be home all day, and I might not even have time to write my journal that night. But today was alright despite my laziness snoozing until 10:00 and actually starting my day at around noon.

 

Something I learned today

I learned a bit about midnight sun, which is basically when the sun stays up 24 hours a day. In some places in northern Norway the sun doesn't set for over two months during the summertime. It's quite funny if you google "alta norway sunset", you can see the sun doesn't set for another month in that area.

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 08:00 - Nope
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Check
  • Meditate - Check
  • Walk the dog - Will right after
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 22:00 - Close enough

 

Tomorrow I'll

  • Be away all day so not much to write here

 

See ya

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Sunday, 28 June 2020 - Day 31

What I did today

  • All day: Prepared and held a party for my sis
  • 21:30 Current time

 

Thoughts

I had pretty much no free time this weekend, and it's a great feeling to be done with all the activities and preparation and just being able to relax now.

I want to go back to writing my daily tasks in a notebook... it has worked great for me in the past and I don't really remember why i quit. Actually drawing a checkmark with a pencil is just something else than just pressing a button in a program, so I'll try to go back to that tomorrow.

 

Something I learned today

I learned about colour spaces and conversion between them. On this topic, this video is very interesting.

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 08:00 - Yes.. actually woke up at 6:40 because I had stuff to do. It's crazy how little effort it is to get up in the morning when you have to do something.
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Day off
  • Meditate - Check
  • Walk the dog - Will do right after eating something
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 22:00 - Yes

 

Tomorrow I'll

  • Get up at 07:00
    • Woke up earlier than this for the past two days so *shouldn't* be too much to ask
  • Make a list of things I need to do and pick some of them out to do right away
  • Produce music
  • Work

 

Peace

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Tuesday, 30 June 2020 - Day 33

What I did today

  • 09:30 Woke up
  • Went to the gym
  • Applied for university
  • Worked
  • Went shopping for some clothes
  • 21:30 Current time

 

Thoughts

Had a great day today. For the next week or so I'll try to focus on getting consistent sleep - go to bed before midnight and wake up at 8.

 

Something I learned today

Well... I learned that finding clothes that fit is not the easiest thing in the world when you're a small, skinny-ish guy.

 

Habits

  • Wake up at 08:00 - Nope
    • Watched a movie last night so went to bed a bit late
  • Make the bed - Check
  • Work out - Check
  • Meditate - Check
  • Walk the dog - Check
  • Write journal - Check
  • No electronics after 22:00 - Will do

 

Until next time

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  • 3 months later...

Sunday, 4 October 2020 - Day 129... apparently

Hey, just wanted to bring a super short update.

First of all, I didn't quit writing here because I relapsed or something like that. I stopped writing because (1) I was simply busy doing other things and because (2) I didn't feel like it really was necessary. Since my last post I've been doing great. Started university about a month ago and it's going pretty well so far, both socially and generally. I definitely feel a lot better overall compared to 130 days ago and feel like I am on the right path. There are certainly still a lot of things to work on for me personally, but wow, I'm glad I took this decision 130 days ago.

Well, I don't really know what else to write here. Just wanted to update this. Maybe I'll update this post once in a while, but most likely not. Just want to say a quick thanks to this community for... well.. existing and helping me realise some things matter more than others.

So, bye for now. See you around.

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