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Sick, tired, and bored of gaming! So I'm quitting.


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Instead of wasting all my time gaming today, we cleaned and decluttered and reorganized the closet! It's finally a genuinely functional space. It was also a hell of a lot easier than it would have been if I was still hoarding. We managed to do all of it while our daughter was in school, and even had a little bit of time to relax at the end as well!

I love having a manageable life.

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Oh yeah, yesterday was 100 days!

I had a dream in which I was extremely tempted to play, but I talked myself out of it. Even in the dream I played the tape all the way through and remembered my goals. I love dreams like this.

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It's always cool to see victories along the way of yours or others here!

By the way, someone in my family is a serious hoarder (with other issues too), but hoarding is leading to health hazzard for this person. I know it's probably part of of a complicated problem but can you point me in a general direction to help someone who hoards even thought it hurts their health?

Thanks in advance

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On 9/10/2022 at 3:13 AM, LostRiver said:

It's always cool to see victories along the way of yours or others here!

By the way, someone in my family is a serious hoarder (with other issues too), but hoarding is leading to health hazzard for this person. I know it's probably part of of a complicated problem but can you point me in a general direction to help someone who hoards even thought it hurts their health?

Thanks in advance

Unfortunately the thing is... You can't really help someone that much unless they're willing. They have to want help for themselves.

You can try to talk to them about it, try to be extremely gentle and cautious about how you go about this though, as it is always a sore spot for the person going through it.

Here is a Goodreads list of books on Hoarding: https://www.goodreads.com/shelf/show/hoarding I have started reading the one titled Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding.  I went to look for that one for you and found a whole list. I hope that may possibly help!

I also found a forum: https://hoarding.support/forum/

I will keep your family member in my thoughts! My heart goes out to every hoarder still suffering.

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8 hours ago, GrainSiloEnthusiast said:

(My reply to you, LostRiver, is awaiting moderation because I provided links)

I had a double using dream about both gaming and weed. I woke up extremely grateful to be clean and game-free.

Haha, get those dreams from time to time to! Unfortunately, the dreams are extremely positive experiences and I wake up feeling bitter that in real-life gaming is so polluted with addictive patterns and mechanics.

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I'm not sure where else I can put this stuff besides the notes in my phone, and it's starting to get cluttered.

So I am going to put it here. This all pertains to my shopping addiction (which definitely went hand in hand with my gaming addiction! So many games I bought that I never even played...)

Why do I want to combat my shopping addiction? 

^I want to be a more mindful consumer

^I want to participate less in capitalism

^I want to create less waste

^I want to only own things that I love and/or add value to my life

^I want to travel more

^I want to pay for experiences rather than things

^I want to feel in control of my life, and right now I don't

^I want to have better hobbies other than shopping (I already have some!)

^I don't make a lot of money to begin with, so I need to be able to live on that paltry sum

^I want to be a good example to my daughter

^I think minimalism is cool and trendy lol

^I'm tired of the binge-purge cycle, I want to be done with clutter for good!

 

(The ^ is from the bullet point thing on my app. Not sure why it chose that symbol. Just gonna leave it out of laziness.)

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2022 September 15th
Today I didn't buy anything more than food I immediately needed, which I got on food stamps, and one pumpkin for decorating that will last 3-6 months and hardly cost anything. I actually left my wallet at home, wife bought the pumpkin for me since it wasn't counted as "food". Feeling accomplished for only buying exactly what I intended on. Didn't stop anywhere on the way home from school, feeling accomplished about that as well.

2022 September 16th
Today I didn't buy anything. Not a single thing! Spent time at the gym in the morning, spent time at the park in the evening. Spent time relaxing at home in between. No money needed! I decluttered coupons and other nonsense from my wallet. I moved my debit card to make it harder to use.

2022 September 17th
Today I will not buy anything or go anywhere!  I ended up going to the park with my family, but that was fine, it was lovely. No money spent!

2022-9-18 
Today I did not spend any money. I was able to get my mom a birthday Starbucks treat with my 150 stars, after which I uninstalled the Starbucks app, but did not have to spend any additional money.

I didn't get myself a coffee because I knew my mom would have coffee at her house, and I didn't want to spend my once a week take-away coffee treat on a day when I could get free good coffee.

I did get some groceries at (food bank outlet my mom volunteers at) but only things I really thought we would use. I got some goldfish crackers there because wife was planning on buying some anyway. 

Tomorrow I plan on taking the bus downtown. I want to return my library books that I'm not going to read, And I want to test out the new folding backpack.

I am only taking what I absolutely need.  I will be bringing my phone, My bus pass, my EBT card, and the badge holder that will hold those two cards. My open pack of gum, My Bluetooth earbuds, and a stylist for my phone to make it easier to draw on medibang. All of those things will fit into my cargo pants. I will also obviously be bringing the folding backpack, as well as the two library books I'm returning. I will also require beverages and food.

Tomorrow we will be grocery shopping after we pick up daughter from school so I will have to be diligent and stick to the list!

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Takeout coffee rules!!!

^have first morning coffee at home to reduce cravings on days when you cannot buy takeout coffee.
^record when, what, and where you had coffee (perfect for sketch journaling!)
^Up to once per week. Meaning if I don't buy coffee one week, doesn't mean the next week I get to buy twice.
^No new loyalty programs, punch cards, etc.
^Prioritize buying from local coffee joints, avoid big chains.

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I don't necessarily expect you guys to read all of that ^^^ up there, I've really just needed to clear up the notes on my phone!

This is all for my personal use, I found journaling about it really helps with personal accountability. I think I learned that here, actually!

You are of course invited to read them if you wish, but don't feel pressured lol.

As far as gaming stuff goes, I've been doing really well. 110 days off games! Lots of goals met, lots of art made, lots of good memories formed! And surely plenty of money saved lol...

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On 9/14/2022 at 11:57 PM, GrainSiloEnthusiast said:

Unfortunately the thing is... You can't really help someone that much unless they're willing. They have to want help for themselves.

You can try to talk to them about it, try to be extremely gentle and cautious about how you go about this though, as it is always a sore spot for the person going through it.

Here is a Goodreads list of books on Hoarding:  I have started reading the one titled Buried in Treasures: Help for Compulsive Acquiring, Saving, and Hoarding.  I went to look for that one for you and found a whole list. I hope that may possibly help!

I also found a forum: 

I will keep your family member in my thoughts! My heart goes out to every hoarder still suffering.

Damn, I just realize from reading synopsis of all the books that hoarding, just like any addiction, comes from a multitude of issues: trauma, childhood, etc.

I guess for now the thing I can do is spending more time with them. I guess I owe them that much.

Thank you so much for the help Grain. And congratulations on your great week plus congratulations on clear out stuffs on your phone 😀

Edited by LostRiver
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9 hours ago, LostRiver said:

Damn, I just realize from reading synopsis of all the books that hoarding, just like any addiction, comes from a multitude of issues: trauma, childhood, etc.

I guess for now the thing I can do is spending more time with them. I guess I owe them that much.

Thank you so much for the help Grain. And congratulations on your great week plus congratulations on clear out stuffs on your phone 😀

You are so welcome! Always glad to be able to help. Hugs!

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Today I stuck to all of my goals!

I brought food with me, but it wasn't enough (I'm breastfeeding, the hunger is INSANE.) When I stopped by Safeway to grab a bite to eat I used food stamps and only got exactly what I needed for immediate consumption. I even picked something healthy!

I chose to get this week's takeout coffee today, I stopped by a local cafe I've never been to before and had an AWESOME butterscotch latte! It even had the fancy foam with a cute design on it!? First time I've had a coffee like that! So worth it. A tiny bit more expensive than Starbucks would have been but I'm happy to see my money go into local hands.

I spent most of my free time today outside. I went to a rose garden and then later on the park near my daughter's school while waiting to pick her up. It was so lovely and peaceful.

After we picked our daughter up from school it was time to go grocery shopping. I stuck to my list! We found everything we went in for and only got what we really needed. What a relief!

I actually created a weekly schedule too, it's very lenient and can be moved around whenever necessary (like we have to go to my mom's this Friday for example) but it will give some structure to my days:

1123424877_Screenshot_20220919-1014582.thumb.png.e0893f93eabab1d4063c074420be1656.png

(The pizza thing on Tuesdays is because a take and bake place has a special that day and we can buy it on food stamps! So it's separate from our cash-eat-out day.)

In summary: today I did not play video games, didn't use drugs, didn't injure myself, and didn't impulse shop. I spent time outside. I did some sketching and scrapbooking. I feel like I really "lived my best life" today and I'm feeling really good about it!

Edited by GrainSiloEnthusiast
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I find it interesting that you've highlighted another addiction and am proud of you for that. My second addiction was porn and that's been harder to quit than gaming even though I'd only watch for a few minutes compared to hours on end. 

I think gaming is like a longterm drug that is a gateway addiction to other addictions due to the need for instant gratification from games being so taxing on our dopamine levels. 

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I'm not sure if I'll be able to make it to the gym twice this week, not even sure if I'll make it once. I've been trying to go more to make the $70 per month (this covers both me and my wife as well as our daughter... and they have a pool so) worth it.

I only went twice in August. I missed the gym SO much during the pandemic, I'm not sure what's wrong with me lol. Just busy and typically only go when our daughter is in school. I wish it was walking distance (then again I wish everything was lol) because I'd definitely go more if I didn't have to ask my wife for a ride.

I think having this weekly schedule is going to work out really well tho. Knowing I can still have takeout coffee once a week as well as a dinner out once a week, really helps me to control myself on the days I plan not to. Having a set day to buy groceries also helps me not go grocery shopping just to alleviate boredom, I have to get more creative than that now!

This is a place in my life where moderation works better than cold turkey. Financially there's no reason for me to completely cut out these things, I just want to have more impulse control!

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Today, my wife bought us breakfast after we dropped off our daughter. We keep our finances separate, so this didn't really effect my plans... Kind of a weird loophole though. I allowed myself to have a coffee with it because it was just McDonald's, the coffee I got was $2.

It did get me thinking that maybe 2x a week would be more realistic for takeout coffee specifically. Especially this time of year, September through February is my favorite time of year for coffee as I'm both a pumpkin spice and peppermint junkie lol.

I'm pretty sure I can stick to (me paying for) eating out 1x a week, especially when we also have pizza day, and I can still get food stamps food.

We needed to pop by Walmart after school for a couple genuine needs that were easiest found there specifically... And that shopping trip made me feel like "oh yeah maybe I can stop enjoying shopping as a hobby because this honestly sucks" I never really enjoyed Walmart though. It's the opitome of American consumerism culture and it's always too crowded.

I don't want to hate shopping though, either... I want to enjoy as much of my life as possible including chores and essential errands. I just don't want to be addicted to anything and I felt genuinely addicted to impulse shopping.

I'm still not sure what I'll do about the coffee thing but I'll figure it out as I go. All I know is I want some sort of schedule/limit to keep me in control.

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I actually think I need to take a step back and calm down with all the self improvement stuff. There's more right than there is wrong with me at this point and I'm already working really hard on a lot of things.

I'm not in any financial trouble right now, I am not even one cent in debt (and how many Americans can say that??) I no longer live in hoard and squalor. Clearly my "shopping addiction" is really not that bad. It's still good to be mindful of it but honestly the last thing I need is one more thing to stress out about. 

I think as long as I keep up the good habits (spending more time outside, more time creating, less time in and around stores) I don't need to focus so much on the numbers and statistics. I do think I'll continue the grocery shopping on Mondays and staying close to home on Saturdays, I think those routines are working really well for us.

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5 hours ago, GrainSiloEnthusiast said:

I'm not in any financial trouble right now, I am not even one cent in debt (and how many Americans can say that??) I no longer live in hoard and squalor. Clearly my "shopping addiction" is really not that bad. It's still good to be mindful of it but honestly the last thing I need is one more thing to stress out about. 

Good job! It definitely refutes the message that being debt-free is only for rich people. I still find it astonishing people go into debt for things other than housing (and maybe, but just maybe, investing). It's unseemly. I don't blame them, it's just sad to see that a lot of people are so uneducated in the topic.

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Yep, being poor all my life actually scared me straight when it comes to money.

My parents (my dad really) racked up a bunch of credit card debt when my mom lost her job right before the 2008 financial crisis and they suffered immensely from it since. Only very recently were they able to pay it off and cancel those cards for good! And only because they refinanced their house.

My wife has credit cards but treats them like debit cards, and I just don't mess with anything like that. I always prefer to "pay myself back" and dip into savings for a large purchase (and only emergencies like needing to replace my phone on short notice) than do payment plans or use any form of credit. I'd rather wait and save up for things than have to pay someone else back with interest!

 

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