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Lifelong Addict, Here cause I want to do this right


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Hello All,

My name is David and I'm a 28 year old lifelong video gaming addict. I've spend ungodly amounts of time on a variety of console/pc games over the course of my life that has severely hindered me from achieving my full potential and actually enjoying and thriving in my life. 

The reason I'm here is because I followed the exact same track of action Cam did. I went exactly from Starcraft, to Counterstrike 1.6 then World of Warcraft sharing a very similar to story. My eye's lit up when I read that because I felt hope and relief that someone else in my exact situation has gotten out of this. I'm lucky to have fantastic parents that love me and have tried their best to support me over the years but I've been getting increasingly good at hiding this addiction from them. I've hit rock bottom once before this, was on the verge of suicide and managed to throw myself into fitness and move 1000 miles away from my home to get a fresh start and half-quit gaming, but only quitting halfway only half helped. finances didn't work out in my fitness career and I was forced to move back home. I took a job that made good money but began spending all time when not at Gym or work, video gaming. I justified that my life was great now and I could afford to spend my free-time doing that. But video gaming cost me that job, then cost me the next job when Wow classic came out, then cost me my relationship with the girl I love, Then covid began, I pretended to be sick with covid and entered the worst binge I've ever done in history. 8 weeks straight of nearly 16 hours of a gaming a day. Completely dropped my exercise routine. And lied to all my family about how I was spending my time. I even told my dad i was helping my mom with a work project for 2 weeks when I just gamed every day. I didn't help my Mom with that work project and pretended to be upset about something so that I could game instead of helping her with the work project. I just started a new job yesterday that my dad helped me get and had a very successful day, however the music at work reminded me so much of the girl that left me that I realized just how much video gaming was the cause of us not working out because of how much my neglect pushed her away. This led into me thinking about how much of my life problems stemmed from video games and that is what led me to find Respawn. I'm trying to do things the right way, to end this once and for all.

I know I'm a talented individual and I've seen glimpses of when I cut back on games, the improvements it makes, but I know given my situation and how I don't have control that I need to quit completely and forever or it will completely rob my life of anything good and lasting. 

Glad to be here. My list of emotions I have written out are mostly negative but some positive and It'd be nice to know I'm not alone in this, so if you could share your experience in your reply or something you've found that helped you. Please let me know. Thanks.

Dave

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Dave, all I can say is that I’ve spent YEARS of my life playing games rather than living an interesting life.   When I started being creative, I felt such relief and joy... in contrast to the mind-numbing, eye-exhausting, messing-with-my-mind games.   Years....wasted.  

I’m here because I just started playing again after quitting in January.   Rather be here and write than play.   Anytime I feel sadness, ineptness, anger, which these times bring, playing a game comes to my fingertips....   just can’t go back there...too expensive.  

best wishes to you.   
Sandy

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@Metalgear222 Thank you for sharing your story. I think you would be surprised by how many people went through very similar if not the same path with games. After WoW, I started League of Legends, which was my biggest nemesis. I do not even want to know how much time I have wasted on that game, let alone all the videos and streams linked to it. The start is always the hardest. When you spent that much time on something, it is only natural that it is hard to live without it. But it is not impossible. Once you find interests that can replace all the needs that gaming provided you with, you will be able to enjoy your life to the fullest without looking back to gaming. 

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