How do you do things?

[Boltuschkin]

Hey guys hope you are all doing well and are healthy!

Ever since I quit gaming I feel really ,for a lack of a better word, empty. I don't really feel like doing anything except laying in bed and doing nothing. Don't get me wrong I do have ideas of things I want to do and learn so it is not so much the lack of ideas that stops me from doing things. It's more the general listlessness I feel. I don't have any motivation to do any of the things I really want to do (quite ironic ey?). I know that my brain is kind of fucked because of all the instant gratification it got flooded with over the years and whatnot, but I really don't like this situation.

So my question would be: Does it go away/get better over time or do I need to worry? Advice on what I should do next would be very much appreciated as well.
Thanks guys

Edited April 1, 2020 by Boltuschkin

[Alexanderle]

Who are you as a person? Can you describe yourself? Are you a gamer? I seems that right now, you are a gamer, who is not playing games. That must be a terrible situation. Ask yourself this: Who do you want to be? Not who you think, you should be or is socially desired of you.

26 minutes ago, Boltuschkin said:

do I need to worry?

No. You decided to quit gaming, because it was not a valuable part of your life anymore. You spotted an inconsistency in your lifestyle. Why is that? Why is there something inside of you that has decided that gaming is not the "right thing" to do?

[Boltuschkin]

Bro you are asking some deep questions haha 

Yeah I stopped gaming for the second timen now (first was 20 days) and am 8 days in now. Then I realised I wasted to much time on youtube and stuff so I stopped that one too since today.

1 hour ago, Alexanderle said:

Who do you want to be? Not who you think, you should be or is socially desired of you.

 

Yeah I kind of do know what I want and how to get there. Maybe not a perfect version but it's enough to start I think. I just don't do what I planned. I kind of did stuff while I gamed but now I do way less it seems.

[Alexanderle]

17 minutes ago, Boltuschkin said:

I just don't do what I planned.

I have a thing to consider: Maybe those things, you are planning for yourself, are not resonating with you and your identity/ belief system/ perspectives or however you want to phrase it. So instead of looking for the things that you feel you want/have or like to do, but are not doing, what if you would focus on the things, you can do right now? Those things, which you can do right now?

Myself as an example: A year ago, not gaming was not an option to me. But starting to work out and change my diet kinda resonated with me. I really wanted it so bad that there was no way around it. The things I do right now, a year ago - they would have been impossible. A couple of weeks ago, I decided to implement duolingo and daily drawing in my routines. It did not really work out and was way too much. So I stopped. Maybe this is something, I feel capable and implementable in one year. Who knows. Maybe never...

So what is it that you can do right now?

Edited April 1, 2020 by Alexanderle

[Boltuschkin]

1 hour ago, Alexanderle said:

 things I do right now, a year ago - they would have been impossible. 

So you are saying I should start slow and build myself up, doing more and more each day (or week)? Sounds good to me but if I only do one thing a day I feel so useless like I am lying to myself because I know I am capable of so much more than that. You know? 

[Alexanderle]

5 hours ago, Boltuschkin said:

I know I am capable of so much more than that.

Seems to be that this is not the case right now. If it would be than you would do it. So with this reasoning, I define capability as what you are actually capable TO DO RIGHT NOW. If we start thinking of what we would be actually capable at 100 percent (our actualy mental and physical abilities); would that be so good? Maybe we could do it for a couple of days, but eventually, we might burn out. Take a bodybuilder for example. We think that they go 110 percent all the time. And what happens after that? They have to take a break, otherwise they would do more harm to their muscles than good. Sure, we can apply this to ourselves and go beyond what we are capable of. But I think, the next day, we would be quite tired and unmotivated and lie on the bed all day.

The reality is actually a bit different. Most professional athletes slowly build it up. They start at 50 % and then day by day and week by week increase it. Eventually, they are at the absolute maximum, which happens to be the point, where they are actually competing with other athletes. After that, they slow down again. That is the case for every professional athlete. But we think that they are at their maximum all the time - it is tempting and we would like to apply this to our own life. But it is not the reality.

So yeah, like you said - maybe slowly build it up. Go at the pace that is suiting for you at this very moment. It is not demotivating and creates an upward spiral. In addition, those role models are not at 100 percent all the time.

Edited April 1, 2020 by Alexanderle

[Boltuschkin]

1 hour ago, Alexanderle said:

Seems to be that this is not the case right now. If it would be than you would do it. So with this reasoning, I define capability as what you are actually capable TO DO RIGHT NOW.

Bro you are actually right. Thanks a lot for your help, you are the best! Have a nice day