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JustTom

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Heyo, I'm coming back from a relapse after months. I don't really feel like writing much, but I do want to get back to journaling as well so starting the thread should be a good idea.

 

Things are shit, but could be worse too. I have absolutely no idea how I managed to talk my way through all this time to not drop out of uni, or get kicked out of my family, or be homeless, or have my bank accounts frozen or something like that. Things just keep being the same shit way, but never quite collapsing and reaching rock bottom. So anyways, I'm still at school, extending my thesis more and more each month, and wasting my life away. Was playing world of warcraft classic for half a year and nothing else, basically. While I 'achieved' almost everything I could in the game, I achieved nothing in real life. I still think I can have an exceptional life and do all the things I wanted to do, but I'll be 26 next week and I've said the same thing every 3-4 months for the past 5 years sooooooooooooooooo. I still don't think I will just settle in and be normal, but rather be either a super successful maniac or a loser wreck. Bad thing is, I've been leaning towards the loser wreck scenario recently, but hey. Toda's a new day and all that shit eh?

Yesterday I made the decision to quit gaming again. I haven't been able to pull the trigger for a very long time and that's why I wasn't able to get out of the haze. I finally mustered up to do it only after a buddy of mine I'm living with told me to pack my things and leave because he lost hope for me. Without games, I can get better, I know that. So I'm gonna try once again.

 

Day 0

So this day 0 was yesterday. Today is day 1. I'm cleaning up my PC of all the gaming garbage and planning the near future. It's much harder in this goddamn corona quarantine but it is what it is. 

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Day 1 & 2

Pretty much didn't do anything, but also didn't game - so that's pretty good! I've been contacting some people to sell my account and it looks like I have a buyer or two lined up. I'll try to sell it for high of course but if it won't budge, then I won't greed and would prefer to sell within a week or two. I managed to wake up on the first or second alarm, relatively early. Today is day 3 and I slept till 11, but anything before 12 I consider a great success so yay. Going to try my hardest to work a bit, after being done fantasizing about the upcoming DnD Pathfinder campaigns

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Yo! Great to see you back on the forums.

It's good that you've caught it now. I was in the exact same position as you a few years ago. Spent the last 8 months of my degree playing video games. I extended all my deadlines and my thesis as much as I could because I was just too depressed or didn't care enough to do them. I lost my girlfriend, I failed out of uni 95% of the way to the end, and I still kept gaming.

I'm 5-6 years into the gaming addiction journey and I've only just started a new detox (3 weeks ago) that I'm pretty sure is going to be my last.

You're strong mate, you've got this.

(also don't get me started on D&D I miss it so much lol)

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