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Take some deep breaths. You can try taking baby steps with something. You can take a few baby steps on whatever you want and it won't be as overwhelming. Instead of getting caught up in reading a whole book, just read ten pages. Over time it will add up and can increase. Using pomodoro method to read/do things can help to focus too. 

25 on-5 break x4 then 30 minute break. 

https://open.buffer.com/science-taking-breaks-at-work/

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My name is Marek and I am a University student studying Virology and I am a game addict. I have been struggling with gaming for a long time. It started with World of Warcraft which was probably the fi

It is fascinating how our perspectives change over time. I remember that back, in the beginning, I was in a similar situation, and it was a lot more challenging to say no. Thus I was more excited abou

Day 215 Habits: Positive: (Meditation:163, Walk/Run:82*, Morning Workout:80, Floss:47) Learning: (Russian:121, Stats/Coding:2*, Project work:45*) Negative: (No gaming:204, N

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Day 24 & 25

Get out of bed: 08:00

Ready to sleep: 00:40

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:16, Walk/Run:9, Meditation:24, Reading:13, Intermittent fasting:1, Cooking:8, Documentaries:9, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:15, No gaming videos:1, No snacks:0)

Yesterday I quit gaming videos on top of gaming itself. I think this is necessary for my complete recovery and to rewire my brain from this addictive habit. Yesterday I got really frustrated to the point of being angry. The main perpetrator of my anger is probably the lockdown, but many different things piled on. However, I am glad I was able to deal with all of them one by one and calmed down. After that, it was a decent day. I started coloring books, haha. It might be a bit childish, but I enjoy it. It is an excellent way to relax while I can listen to audiobooks and just switch off.

On top of that, I decided to make it more interesting by coloring things unnaturally. Mainly it is a way for me to be more artistic, which I love, but I suck at drawing or music, haha. To be fair so far, it has a meditative effect on me. What I like about it the most is that I do enjoy it, and I can use it as a replacement for watching gaming videos. On top of that, I started writing reviews. I am not sure, but I have found it quite exciting in the past, and I decided to return to it. I usually review interesting places on google maps or cool things I have bought on Amazon.

Last week was a bit of mess, but I am glad I have managed to move forward without going back to gaming. I am thankful for everyone who helped and supported me. I am aware I need to be more relaxed about pursuing new habits; otherwise, it might become frustrating. I guess it is just my perfectionism and impatience that tends to get in a way all the time haha. Also, I am going to follow intermittent fasting, which worked well for me in the past. I found that when fasting my mind feels a lot clearer, I mainly used it during exams. Furthermore, it should not be that big of a change for me because I am never hungry before lunch, and all I have in the morning is usually just coffee. Hence, it is not that unnatural for me. I am just going to be more deliberate about it. 

@Erik2.0 That is excellent advice, and I am already aware of it. I always try to break my tasks down to smaller chunks, which are not so scary. I just struggle with it because I would like to just jump in and do everything perfectly on the first time haha. I used Pomodoro in the past, but it would be a good idea to return to it. It should be helpful with writing theses, especially.

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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1 hour ago, Marek said:

Day 24 & 25

Get out of bed: 08:00

Ready to sleep: 00:40

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:16, Walk/Run:9, Meditation:24, Reading:13, Intermittent fasting:1, Cooking:8, Documentaries:9, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:15, No gaming videos:1, No snacks:0)

Yesterday I quit gaming videos on top of gaming itself. I think this is necessary for my complete recovery and to rewire my brain from this addictive habit. Yesterday I got really frustrated to the point of being angry. The main perpetrator of my anger is probably the lockdown, but many different things piled on. However, I am glad I was able to deal with all of them one by one and calmed down. After that, it was a decent day. I started coloring books, haha. It might be a bit childish, but I enjoy it. It is an excellent way to relax while I can listen to audiobooks and just switch off.

On top of that, I decided to make it more interesting by coloring things unnaturally. Mainly it is a way for me to be more artistic, which I love, but I suck at drawing or music, haha. To be fair so far, it has a meditative effect on me. What I like about it the most is that I do enjoy it, and I can use it as a replacement for watching gaming videos. On top of that, I started writing reviews. I am not sure, but I have found it quite exciting in the past, and I decided to return to it. I usually review interesting places on google maps or cool things I have bought on Amazon.

Last week was a bit of mess, but I am glad I have managed to move forward without going back to gaming. I am thankful for everyone who helped and supported me. I am aware I need to be more relaxed about pursuing new habits; otherwise, it might become frustrating. I guess it is just my perfectionism and impatience that tends to get in a way all the time haha. Also, I am going to follow intermittent fasting, which worked well for me in the past. I found that when fasting my mind feels a lot clearer, I mainly used it during exams. Furthermore, it should not be that big of a change for me because I am never hungry before lunch, and all I have in the morning is usually just coffee. Hence, it is not that unnatural for me. I am just going to be more deliberate about it. 

@Erik2.0 That is excellent advice, and I am already aware of it. I always try to break my tasks down to smaller chunks, which are not so scary. I just struggle with it because I would like to just jump in and do everything perfectly on the first time haha. I used Pomodoro in the past, but it would be a good idea to return to it. It should be helpful with writing theses, especially.

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

IMG_20200421_131846.jpg

I started doing these colorings when I quit gaming originally. It was nice to do it while listening to music. 

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Day 26

Get out of bed: 08:05

Ready to sleep: 00:20

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:16, Walk/Run:10, Meditation:25, Reading:13, Intermittent fasting:2, Cooking:9, Documentaries:9, Audiobooks:3)
  • Negative: (No gaming:16, No gaming videos:2, No snacks:0)

Not only that, but even with that, I cannot share this experience with anyone who is not a gamer. Because most of my friends are not games, if I want this form of entertainment, it is better to just switch to tv shows, which have some conversation value at least. And there are a lot of great ones that I have not watched yet. But I happier if I spend that time on interesting podcasts/ audiobooks.

Today I woke up early and got out of bed right away and started writing this journal. I am so happy that finally, my sleep schedule is improving. I am going to meditate after this and then start working. I am not going for a walk today because I feel like I need some rest for today because I am a bit sore haha. 

@BooksandTrees It is. Definitely a good replacement activity.

@Erik2.0 Thank you. I will try using the pomodoro fully today when I work so I will see how it goes. 

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

 

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On 4/21/2020 at 2:06 PM, Marek said:

I guess it is just my perfectionism and impatience that tends to get in a way all the time haha.

I can relate to that a lot. Perfectionism helps, if one wants to make things very precisely and masterful, but it takes at least 10 years to become a master anyway and if I want to learn something new, I try to be very open minded, make experiments, that more often than not will result in unexpected results that are far away from being perfect.

Funny enough, that is especially true for drawing, because in order to draw you want to get into a different kind of mindset, that allows you to percept visually and not in terms of right/wrong, nice/ugly, good/bad etc. (which is typical for perfectionism). If you really want to learn drawing, I can recommend the book on learning how to draw by Betty Edwards. As I remember, many of the neurological statements in that book are outdated, but the method itself should still work excellent. Drawing can also produce moods similar to medition, from my experience (flow).

Take care

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Day 27

Get out of bed: 08:25

Ready to sleep: 01:40

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:17, Walk/Run:11, Meditation:27, Reading:13, Intermittent fasting:3, Cooking:9, Audiobooks:3)
  • Negative: (No gaming:17, No gaming videos:3, No snacks:0)

Yesterday was a great day. Unfortunately, I still procrastinated a decent amount, but I have done more work than usual, I would say. I have enjoyed using the Pomodoro technique. Maybe because of the app that I am using. It clearly shows my progress and the amount of work that I have done. However, I am not even mad that I have procrastinated much. Most of it was reading and then listening to audiobooks while coloring. It was quite relaxing, and I think I have improved some of my routines.

I managed to read several hundred pages, haha. I have a love/hate relationship with Brandon Sanderson's books. The reason why is that the book follows several different stories, and they usually alternate between chapters. It is like watching a great anime, but then there are filler episodes. The problem with Sanderson is that these "filler chapters" are bloody amazing. At points even more interesting than the main story. The problem with that is that if you want to reach some kind of conclusion to a particular situation, you need to get through several chapters only to get gripped by a dramatic situation in another story. The only real issue I have with it that it makes it incredibly challenging to go to bed on time haha. 

@Erik I do not use pomodoro for reading because I usually read on a chapter by chapter basis but it definitely helps with work. I have got these from eBay. The picture I have posted is from the first green one. If I get most of them done and I am still interested in coloroing I was thinking about getting some anime/ fantasy ones which could be quite cool. 

@remember115 I guess that's were the impatience comes in haha. I have not thought much about drawing yet, but I might get to it at some point. I was never good at it but it might be worth a try. Maybe I just need to try drawing something unorthodox. Thanks for the advice, I will have a look at the book. Yeah, the relaxation and use of my creativity are the main parts that I enjoy about coloring at the moment the most. 

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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Day 28 & 29 

Get out of bed: 08:25

Ready to sleep: 01:40

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:18, Walk/Run:12, Meditation:29, Reading:15, Intermittent fasting:5, Cooking:11, Audiobooks:3)
  • Negative: (No gaming:19, No gaming videos:5, No snacks:2)

I am feeling fantastic. All habits and things I have worked on in the last month seem to be coming together nicely. I am excited about my morning and evening routines, which I now tweaked to perfection. They do work well for me. I started a gratitude journal several days ago. Funnily enough, it started when I was frustrated with a lot of things I wrote them all down and just found solutions, which was the best way to cool down and resolve all the issues. From then on, I kept it as a journal where I write positive things that put a smile on my face. It is straightforward, but I would say that it lets me appreciate the small things more. The resistance loop which I have ordered at the end of March has finally arrived, so now I can step up the quality of my workouts. 

I have also started a dream diary, haha. It began as a captcha for one of my alarm apps. Nevertheless, now I can remember my dreams a lot more vividly, and I want to experiment more with lucid dreaming. I had a few lucid dreams in the past that I remember. It is a fascinating experience. I also had sleep paralysis a few times in the past. They are horrific experience. Yet my crazy scientific side fueled by curiosity is interested in experiencing it again and analyzing it more. Once I was able to realize what was happening, I calmed down. However, it was definitely not a pleasant experience. But with all the adrenaline surging, it is a great wake up haha. 

The intermittent fasting seems to be working well too. I feel like my mind is a lot clearer in the morning and early afternoon, and even when I eat, I do not get that tired afterward. It seems to help a decent amount with snacking. Several days without gaming videos, and it is going well. I have been listening to podcasts and audiobooks a lot more, and it is so much better. I am loving reading too. Well, I always did, but I prioritized gaming, so it was pushed aside. I am almost finished with my current book, I do have the other two sequels to it, but I am thinking about reading some more classics such as Dostoyevsky. He is one of my favorite writers, although I have read only a few of his books. They are a bit harder to read than fantasy but that much more satisfying. 

@Erik2.0 It is. It is an excellent way to focus on something without it being too much mentally demanding. One more thing I enjoy about Pomodoro is to time my tasks in the number of Pomodoros. It is a lot less scary number. Three Pomodoros sounds a lot more friendly than an hour and a half. 

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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 I agree that Pomodoro is less intimidating than big chunks of time and you end up doing the same amount while getting less tired thanks to the breaks. That's cool you're reading classics. I read the Bible and self help books. That's being going well. I'm glad things are going well for you. It sounds like you've been able to get into a lot of different things and enjoy them. I looked for those coloring books you got but couldn't find them. Maybe you're not in the US is why? Or I just couldn't find them idk.

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Day 30 & 31

Get out of bed: 11:05

Ready to sleep: 00:05

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:18, Walk/Run:13, Meditation:31, Reading:17, Intermittent fasting:7, Cooking:13, Audiobooks:3)
  • Negative: (No gaming:21, No gaming videos:7, No snacks:5)

 

The weekend was pretty chill. Maybe too much. But I decided that I need to schedule things more, but I also need to schedule some time when I won't do any work and won't worry about it either. I decided to have Sunday as this only relax day. I spent most of my time reading. I have read around 700 pages in the last 4-5 days, haha. Already on the second book of The Stormlight Archive. I have set up some new automation with my alarm and Alexa in my house. So far, the evening routine works well, which I perfected on Saturday. It was necessary because on Friday I stayed up until 4 lost in the book which was cool but then I can't wake up early.

@Erik2.0 More and more things seem now as a possibility that I want to spend time either just for the relaxing benefit or something that I would like to work on and improve. In the past, almost all of my free time spent on gaming. I have ignored most of my new hobbies without even trying them. And things such as reading I rarely found time for as it was easier to waste time gaming or watching videos. I am glad it has already been a week without videos too, and everything seems well. I usually listen to self-help books on audible, but I have just ordered 12 rules for life, which I am excited to read. I am currently living in the UK, so I guess that is probably why. But if you are looking for some, I am sure eBay is a good place to find some, there seemed to be plenty of them. Speaking of which I have finished the one I was working one.  

 

Thanks for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

 

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Day 32

Get out of bed: 11:05

Ready to sleep: 00:00

Habits:

  • Positive: (Meditation:32, Reading:18, Workout:18, Walk/Run:14, Intermittent fasting:8, Floss:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:22, No gaming videos:8, No snacks:6)

Yesterday had a rough start to the day. I could not get out of bed for the longest time. Once I was fully awake, I just read a book, and then I took a nap on top of that. After that, I changed up my alarm witch different captcha to force me out of bed, which I mentioned in yesterday entry. It did work well today; however, I am still wary that I can just turn off my phone and keep sleeping. I believe that I will have enough discipline to not do that. After that, I managed to catch up with several things I wanted to do. 

I got up early today and have not returned to bed once I got up. So far, it's going well. I am planning on doing a decent amount of work, which should not be problematic; I just cannot get lost in the endless cycle of procrastination. 

@Erik2.0 Thank you! I am happy that you like it. I actually wanted to color the birds deep blue, but I accidentally used different pencil haha. 

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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15 minutes ago, Marek said:

I got up early today and have not returned to bed once I got up. So far, it's going well. I am planning on doing a decent amount of work, which should not be problematic; I just cannot get lost in the endless cycle of procrastination.

Well done, Marek,!

I find it difficult, too, to find a good balance between discipline and recovery and decide, when I can push myself a bit further and when I should take some break (and how I want to do that break). It is a big part of the challenge, to do this myself, because videogames have a lot of those balance-cycles "integrated". It is a real big step up, to not watch gaming videos/ streams anymore in that regards; Congrats on passing on that sh** for more than a week now!

I think, for some people, streams are part of their "energy-management-cycle": They watch streams or videos, when they need a break from playing themself or they do it as a replacement for or form of social interaction (like I did). Or they play games with different requirements to manage their well-being and go from relaxing games to challenging games (or game modes) back and forth (switching between interactive/non-interactive, social/single-player games, etc. is also possible).

Keep it up and take care! 

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@remember115@Havey Thank you, guys! I appreciate your support! Discipline is still one of the things I struggle with. Still, it is getting better, especially being able to wake up earlier. What works well for me now is scheduling my day reasonably strict. But then after a workout in the evening, I do not worry about work. I have also made Sunday ultimately work free that I will just chill and not care about things that were liberating. Otherwise, I continuously stress about not doing work, so having time dedicated explicitly to relaxation is terrific.

For me, streams/ videos were a filler of time between gaming and way of additional stimulation even when I was playing games. After I quit gaming, it was a way of escape. I would say that it is less poisonous than gaming to me, but it is not healthy either. The way I look at it is that it does not give me anything besides shallow entertainment. If I want that, I can watch tv shows which, if anything else, have more of a conversation value to me than streams without the possibility of temptation. Moreover, reading and running are the major things that I enjoy and put a lot of intention in now, which helps me not to go to games/ streams for escape. 

Still, there are ups, and downs and I think that belatedly, just now, after a month of keeping the journal, things are stabilizing and getting better. I have deleted my League account on 18/02/2020. I had a small relapse in the beginning but not with league, of which I am incredibly proud. But to be honest, I am only starting to feel truly clean after I have quite streams/ videos too.  

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Yes good job getting off streams/videos. Seeing your coloring book does make me want to do it too, but I'm gonna hold off on that for a while. I don't want to be doing too many hobbies at once. I thought about a manga coloring book too. It might be a good way to practice coloring in manga drawings without worrying about messing up one of your own drawings. 

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Day 33

Get out of bed: 06:40

Ready to sleep: 00:30 

Habits:

  • Positive: (Meditation:33, Reading:19, Workout:18, Walk/Run:15, Intermittent fasting:9, Floss:3)
  • Negative: (No gaming:23, No gaming videos:9, No snacks:7, No procrastination:3)

I am super happy that I have managed to wake up early yesterday. I did not manage to get out of bed this early today, which shows me that I need to achieve two things to be able to get up. I have realized it before but 

  1. I need a purpose for the given day, some kind of plan/ goal that I want to work on. I found that it does not even need to be something too important just that I am curious about or that I want to do. E.g. yesterday I have adjusted some settings with my wear os + google fit + zombie run to track my runs and get as much info about the run as possible. Still, for that, I needed to go for a run. I did a 30 min run in the morning in the rain haha. I have almost backed out of it because of the rain, but I am glad I did not, it felt so liberating.
  2. I need at least 7-8 hours of sleep. I can get up if I had let's say a meeting or some external pressure, but if it is up to me and my discipline, I just need that sleep; otherwise, I stay in bed. 00:30 does not seem too late to go to bed for me, but I need to sleep at 23:30 I saw it today that I fell asleep slightly later and stayed in bed longer than I planned to. I think my evening routine is excellent and working well. I usually turn off my screens around 22:30-23:00. If I do it sooner, around 22:00, I will still have plenty of time to read, but I can sleep earlier. 

I have added one more thing to my streaks, no procrastination. I was not sure what to name it or if to track it as negative, e.g. procrastination or a positive e.g. work. But I think I like to have it set up like this. There is no way I will get rid of all procrastination, which is one of my biggest daemons haha. However, I want to be accountable and keep it as a daily streak, which means that I have to do most of my work scheduled for the given day and not procrastinate for big chunks. Essentially an accountability measure to be true to my schedule and planning. I think I have perfected it over the last few weeks with Todoist complimented with a notebook. Now I just need to follow it as it is intended to be! 

@Erik2.0 Thank you! It made a more significant difference than I thought it would. But it was required to sever all the remaining ties that I had with gaming, and I am glad I did it sooner than later. Haha, that's fair. It still hurts if you mess up the coloring, though, so beware haha. Speaking of too many hobbies ... I need to get back to my puzzle. If you find a cool manga one, let me know. I would love one manga/fantasy/horror one, but I am a bit worried that it would be just a mix of black and red, maybe a bit of blue...

 

Thanks for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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Day 34

Get out of bed: 10:35

Ready to sleep: 03:30 

Habits:

  • Positive: (Meditation:34, Reading:20, Workout:18, Walk/Run:15, Intermittent fasting:10, Floss:4)
  • Negative: (No gaming:24, No gaming videos:10, No snacks:8, No procrastination:4)

Well, today started well even with late morning, but then I ended up binge-watching one whole anime, which shifted most of my plans. I wish I have not done that, but oh well. I still wanted to read a bit in the evening and ended up going to bed way too late. I managed to get up earlier than expected, but I am still frustrated that I didn't do as well as yesterday. Also, I need to do more work days because I am falling behind on things I would need to do. 

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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Day 35

Get out of bed: 09:15

Ready to sleep: 23:45 

Habits:

  • Positive: (Meditation:35, Reading:21, Workout:19, Walk/Run:15, Intermittent fasting:11, Floss:5)
  • Negative: (No gaming:25, No gaming videos:11, No snacks:9, No procrastination:5)

Yesterday was a decent productive day. I did most of the things I planned out to so that was nice. I find it funny that it is May already. It felt like April was done in less than a week, haha. It seemed surprisingly short. I have realized that I have not finished the Respawn program yet, so I did some work on that as well, which was helpful. I have also watched a documentary and read more. I am finding that I still have this craving for something like video game videos, something that would allow me to waste time mindlessly. However, I would say it is becoming less and less a problem. I believe that reading helps me with this a lot as I can read instead of binge-watching. And I feel much better when I read books. I got way too drunk last night. It was fun, but I kind of regret it also. It has shifted my whole day today. Luckily I do not have a hangover, so I will try to achieve most of the things I would like to do anyway.

I have redone my whole workout plan incorporating exercises with bands primarily, so I will see how that goes. Yesterday I did Push, and it felt great. I might need to order some more bands, though, but if I like it, it will be nice to have the flexibility to workout anywhere once the outbreak is over.  I started counting calories again. I am not too strict with it, but it is a nice way to have an idea of how much more/less I should eat and which recipes work better to get all my macros. 

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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15 minutes ago, Marek said:

Day 35

Get out of bed: 09:15

Ready to sleep: 23:45 

Habits:

  • Positive: (Meditation:35, Reading:21, Workout:19, Walk/Run:15, Intermittent fasting:11, Floss:5)
  • Negative: (No gaming:25, No gaming videos:11, No snacks:9, No procrastination:5)

Yesterday was a decent productive day. I did most of the things I planned out to so that was nice. I find it funny that it is May already. It felt like April was done in less than a week, haha. It seemed surprisingly short. I have realized that I have not finished the Respawn program yet, so I did some work on that as well, which was helpful. I have also watched a documentary and read more. I am finding that I still have this craving for something like video game videos, something that would allow me to waste time mindlessly. However, I would say it is becoming less and less a problem. I believe that reading helps me with this a lot as I can read instead of binge-watching. And I feel much better when I read books. I got way too drunk last night. It was fun, but I kind of regret it also. It has shifted my whole day today. Luckily I do not have a hangover, so I will try to achieve most of the things I would like to do anyway.

I have redone my whole workout plan incorporating exercises with bands primarily, so I will see how that goes. Yesterday I did Push, and it felt great. I might need to order some more bands, though, but if I like it, it will be nice to have the flexibility to workout anywhere once the outbreak is over.  I started counting calories again. I am not too strict with it, but it is a nice way to have an idea of how much more/less I should eat and which recipes work better to get all my macros. 

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

Great job man - you've got some good streaks going on there!

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Day 36

Get out of bed: 10:45

Ready to sleep: 00:35 

Habits:

  • Positive: (Meditation:36, Reading:22, Workout:19, Walk/Run:15, Intermittent fasting:12, Floss:6, Stretching:1)
  • Negative: (No gaming:26, No gaming videos:12, No snacks:1, No procrastination:1)

 

Well, so I have stopped gaming, binge-watching gaming videos I am even a bit vary of tv shows and anime because I tend to binge-watch things. So now, I decided to focus my gluttony on reading. I am already on page 900 of the second book at the interlude. To be fair, that was what I did most of the day yesterday and today. But I am not even mad, to be honest. I still need to work on my discipline and self-control, but I feel great. I am not sure what it is about reading. Anyways, it just makes me happy. Even though it took several hours of my time, and I did procrastinate some higher priority tasks. However, I do not feel the guilt that if I would spend the same time watching shows. 

It is already evening, but I feel full of energy and in a good mood. I am going to try to catch up on several of the things that I wanted to do earlier, but I have suspended it. I still need to be more focused in the mornings on work and then have a reward afterward because most of the time I do it the other way around and focus on work only when time starts running out

@Havey Thank you! I am trying my best, and some of them are going better than others. I had to restart some today, but as long as I keep up the gaming + streams at bay, I am happy with it.

@Erik2.0 Nice! Have you figured out what you want to do for your workouts for each day?

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

Edited by Marek
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