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Day 14

Get out of bed: 10:40

Ready to sleep: 02:15

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:12, Meditation:13, Reading:8, Cooking recipes:3, Documentaries:6 Audiobooks:1)
  • Negative: (No gaming:3 No snacks:1, No gaming videos:0)

Besides going to bed and waking up early, I think I am doing well. Now that I got used to my routine, it is easy to execute once I get out of bed. Also, the amazing weather makes me enjoy runs/ walks that much more. One thing that annoyed me yesterday was that I found out that my parcel got lost somewhere in transit, so I had to ask for a resend. I have ordered fitness resistance bands a few days ago which I need to improve my workouts but now I will have to wait several more days until they arrive which is a shame. Besides that, it was an uneventful day, which is not necessarily bad. 

Today, I plan on doing more of school work on which I got slightly behind and I am hoping I will hear back from my supervisor on further instructions regarding my project. I would like to say that I have run 5K today but a lot of it was walking breaks because I am out of shape and my breathing is terrible atm but I am still proud. Just the thing that I started running regularly is impressive as I have always struggled to start.  

 

Thanks for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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@ceponatia @Alexanderle Thanks for your support guys, I appreciate it! I would say that most of the time I get more sleep than I need haha. For me the biggest issue is not even waking up, but it is to get myself out of bed and do stuff. The reason why I want to fix it is to be able to wake up early even when there is not a lock down. From experience I am a lot more productive when I wake up early and get on with my day right away than if I leave stuff for later, which I do way too often. And I want to improve on it. 

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Day 15

Get out of bed: 10:40

Ready to sleep: 00:20

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:12, Walk/Run:2, Meditation:14, Reading:8, Cooking:4, Documentaries:6, Audiobooks:1)
  • Negative: (No gaming:4 No snacks:2, No gaming videos:0)

Yesterday was a delightful day. If I ignore the fact that I have done little school work, everything went well. Had a great run which I have mentioned in my previous post. I followed through on most of my habits, cooked a delicious steak and ate healthy food. The weather is amazing, which only improves my already good mood. And in the evening I had mad fun playing cards against humanity online with my friends. It surprised me. I did not know it was even possible, because I have only played it as a board game before. 

@Erik2.0 Thank you, mate! I am just glad that I have stayed off League for almost two months now, I have deleted my account on 18th of February. But I need to stay away, even from mobile games. I was too addicted to gaming that I find it way too easy to lose control with any game, even if it is for a short time. Funnily enough it was a great day like this when I relapsed playing mobile game several days ago. Now that I am aware of that danger I need to be more careful with gaming ads.

I have finally got out of bed earlier today and went for a walk in the morning. It took me some time to kick myself out of the bed, but it was less than what it usually takes me. "Make today a tiny increment better than yesterday." This quote from Jordan Peterson struck with me a lot. I was listening to his lecture yesterday. The realization that as long as I do a little better, do slightly more work or wake up slightly earlier or run more than the day before I have been successful is such a relief for me. It let me keep moving forward but prevents me from beating myself up too much, which I tend to do if I do not reach my daily goals to perfection.

The more I go for walks and runs discovering new parts of the city, the more I realize how much more I appreciate the surrounding beauty that was here all along. I was just blinded by the virtual world. I am thankful for opening my eyes to the real world and for that I have to thank @Cam Adair for The Respawn and this forum and all the amazing people here. For the last two weeks it has helped me to overcome cravings and focusing on leveling in real life instead of the virtual one. 

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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Day 16

Get out of bed: 08:45

Ready to sleep: 01:20

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:13, Walk/Run:3, Meditation:15, Reading:8, Cooking:5, Documentaries:6, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:5 No snacks:3, No gaming videos:0)

I procrastinated more than I would appreciate yesterday. But I partially blame my family and friends. I have spent about 4 hours calling with them, which was lovely. It is kinda funny, but during this lockdown, I feel like I am a lot more connected with people than I was before. I was never a big fan of social media and texting, but I think video calls are as close to real-life conversation as you can. I cooked a delicious meal, which turned out differently than what I was planning but still was tasty. The plan was to make risotto. However, I have used up too much meat, mushrooms, and vegetables, so there was no more space for rice on the pan. 

I have also killed plenty of time watching lol esports playoffs, and I will do the same today. I assume it is not the best, but it does not generate cravings in me, and after today there will be more games next weekend. After that, I can work on quitting gaming videos too. One thing that I have realized today is that I require at least 7 hours of sleep or maybe even 8. When I sleep only around 6, the only thing I want to do in the morning is to stay in bed. If that happens, I sleep on and off for the next few hours. I need to get just about 8 hours and then get up and see what the difference will be in the morning. 
 
 
Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.
 
 
Marek
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You're so blessed to sleep 8 hours and be good. I sleep twelve probably due to the psychotropic meds I'm on. So much less time in the day to do things. Anyways I recommend having a set time for when you sleep and wake up. It can help a lot in just having consistently well planned days.

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16 minutes ago, Erik2.0 said:

You're so blessed to sleep 8 hours and be good. I sleep twelve probably due to the psychotropic meds I'm on. So much less time in the day to do things. Anyways I recommend having a set time for when you sleep and wake up. It can help a lot in just having consistently well planned days.

Oh man, sorry to hear that. I wish I could go with only about 6 hours because I find it hard to go to bed early and I want to wake up early, but it is tough. If I do not get out of bed right away, I sleep around 10-12 hours falling asleep for an hour or two and then wake up and repeat. If I do that, it feels like most of the day is just gone, and I lose most of my motivation at that point. Having planned things definitely helps but if I do say in bed for longer than everything I planned for gets has to get postponed which just ruins my plans.

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Day 17

Get out of bed: 09:30

Ready to sleep: 01:20

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:13, Walk/Run:3, Meditation:16, Reading:8, Cooking:5, Documentaries:6, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:6 No snacks:4, No gaming videos:0)

Not much to say about yesterday. Relaxing ester Sunday sums it up just about right. I have improved my planning system, which got me quite excited. Sounds silly, but I get a thrill when I have things adequately organized. The highlight of the day would be a call with my friends in the evening. We called for almost about four hours, during which I managed to get fairly drunk, haha. Because of that, I needed a bit more sleep in the morning to avoid a hangover, but it was still worth it.

I had a great walk today. I find it funny that I am spending more time outside now during the quarantine than I did before. I do not meet up with people, but I am loving the exploration of the city. I wish I had a bicycle, which would increase my discovery reach. The beautiful weather helps it too, I guess, would be grim to walk outside during rain. I need to do some schoolwork today, which I need to focus on, but besides that, I would like to read more. I have not read in several days now, and I miss it.

 

Thank you for reading, and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek.

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Day 18

Get out of bed: 09:30

Ready to sleep: 01:20

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:14, Walk/Run:4, Meditation:17, Reading:9, Cooking:6, Documentaries:7, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:7 No snacks:5, No gaming videos:0)

I am excited to say I am seeing good progress. Slowing things down was excellent, and I guess even necessary for the build-up of habits. Still, the biggest struggle is to get out of bed, but I am much better at it than before. Simplifying my morning and evening routine helped tremendously. I am going to change one little thing in my morning routine tomorrow and see if that helps even more, but I am hopeful. It is still not easy to avoid all instant gratification. Furthermore, I think I am getting there because now I enjoy other habits which were not as exciting before. Not buying any snacks or ready to eat meals was another game-changer. Yesterday I made a delicious fried rice with mushrooms, and it took less time than it would take to make frozen pizza. True, bit more effort but a lot more of satisfaction too. 

Yesterday was a pleasant day. I did all my habits, ate healthy, planned out things for the rest of the week, watched a documentary instead of tv shows, went for a walk, did a workout, and most importantly did some school work but still less than I would like to. However, I will get there in a few days, I am positive. Today should go similarly. I would like to go to bed slightly earlier. Last hour yesterday I spend reading so I am not that mad about it.

@Erik2.0 That is a pity. I could store it somewhere in the house; it would not be optimal, but it could work, but I am not sure where I would get a bike from now. But if I still feel this interested and excited about cycling, I might consider it more. Having a constant and straight forward routine helps considerably. Some days I feel like I would prefer to stay inside instead of going for a run, but if I want supplies to build my base in the zombies app, I need to go haha. Any kind of external motivation is helpful.

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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Day 19

Get out of bed: 10:00

Ready to sleep: 00:30

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:14, Walk/Run:5, Meditation:18, Reading:10, Cooking:6, Documentaries:8, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:8 No snacks:6, No gaming videos:0)

A short post today. I wasn't as productive as I would hope yesterday. Procrastination is still a significant issue, most likely even worse now that I am working from home.  However, my sleep schedule is getting better, which I am tremendously excited about. It is one of the things I struggle with the most. I started to work on the jigsaw puzzle now, which I have realized will take quite a while to put together, but I am looking forward to this journey.

One point I need to change in the morning is YouTube. Even though I do not watch much of video game videos now, it still takes a tremendous amount of time. I find it to be such a trap with its 10-minute videos. However, if you watch several of them, suddenly a whole hour is gone. 

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

IMG_20200414_163620.thumb.jpg.e5c5da8ce1058a6462195e1a6fbcaac2.jpg

 

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Day 20

Get out of bed: 09:00

Ready to sleep: 02:30

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:14, Walk/Run:5, Meditation:19, Reading:10, Cooking:7, Documentaries:9, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:10 No snacks:7, No gaming videos:0)

Not much to say about yesterday. I spend several hours binge-watching tv show. I think I overloaded my to-do list a bit, and that made me want to procrastinate, which I gave into, unfortunately. I have not even gone for a run, and all in all, I did not do much. As long as I do not repeat it today, I guess I am okay with it. No point stressing about it today. On the plus side, I made insanely good burritos. I still have rice and meat for the filling, but I am going to make some guacamole to enhance them even further.

Today I woke up later than I would like to. I want to do more exercise today because I did not do any yesterday. The weather is still gorgeous, so I will go for a run, and later in the afternoon, I am planning on doing more of a strength-focused one. Unfortunately, I do not have a pull-up bar, and I do not trust most of the door frames in my apartment, but I have found one which could work for pull-ups, so I will give that a try too. First, I need to clean it because there is like an inch of dust, haha.

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

 

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Day 21

Get out of bed: 11:00

Ready to sleep: 03:05

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:14, Walk/Run:6, Meditation:20, Reading:10, Cooking:7, Documentaries:9, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:11 No snacks:8, No gaming videos:0)

Well, another day wasted binge-watching. I want to make a more controlled environment that I will focus on work, let's say until 5PM, and then I will have free time to do whatever. If I start watching shows or just procrastinate early in the day, I tend not to do anything productive after. It has been 3 days that I have not worked out either which sucks, I went for a walk yesterday, but that was about it. I find it extremely hard to stop procrastinating once I start. Being home makes this increasingly more difficult because there are so many distractions compared to when I am in a lab where I just do the work. 
I want to train myself to have work time that I only focus on work and then complete free time. That eliminates most of my stress usually because I know I worked as much as I could, and then I can enjoy my free time stress-free. Compared to when I procrastinate, and I know I should be productive. Still, I am just avoiding work, which only builds up anxiety. I just need to be disciplined about it, and hopefully, with time, I will function in this style. It all goes back to the principles to shift to delayed gratification instead of instant one. One good thing from yesterday was that I made the burritos even more delicious with guacamole instead of sour cream. 

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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Day 22

Get out of bed: 11:00

Ready to sleep: 00:05

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:14, Walk/Run:7, Meditation:21, Reading:11, Cooking:7, Documentaries:9, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:12 No snacks:0, No gaming videos:0)

 

Overall, the last three days were a bit shit. Now that I look back at it, all I did was just procrastinating. I managed to watch the whole three seasons of Narcos, which is a great show, but watching 30 hours in three days does not sound healthy. Yesterday was a good day, though. I have managed to get things back under control, and I believe that I know the reason for this. I have been very frustrated/ angry these last few days because I still have heard nothing from my supervisor. I understand that he is swamped now, and there might not be anything that I can help with currently in the lab. Still, when we last talked (about 3 weeks ago), it sounded that there would be a chance for me to work on the coronavirus. My current project focuses on the Dengue virus, but I could possibly combine it in some ways. Not to mention that all non-coronavirus work in the lab has been suspended at the time anyway. To be honest, at this time, I would just like to see an email from him, even if it says that there is nothing that I can currently work on. At least I would not be left in the dark.

I apologize for the rant, but I needed to get it out of my system. On top of that, I still need to do one report, which I have just been procrastinating. Once that is done, I guess I will just start working on different things. I was thinking I might learn to code. I work a lot with proteomics and data science, and I genuinely enjoy work with computers, so I would say that coding can come in handy sometime in the future. And yesterday was actually an alright day, to be honest. I spent several hours finishing Narcos, but I got my shit together at the end of the day, and I called with a great friend for a few hours, which lifted my spirit. I woke up early today, and I am going to do some work on the report until around three a clock, and then I will just take a break for the day. Once I am satisfied with the fact that I did some work on the report, I will be free of the anxiety, and I can enjoy the last weekend of esports. 

@Erik2.0 Thank you! It will be a pain in the ass, haha. But at the same time, a sweet challenge. The pieces are pretty small, and I needed a second board like that to be able to spread them all there. They were; however, I am glad I have finished them because I have made a bit too much of the mix, and that was almost all I ate last three days, haha. I am planning on making a beef steak with broccoli saute with sweet potato today.

 

Thank you for reading, and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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Day 23

Get out of bed: 08:00

Ready to sleep: 00:40

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:14, Walk/Run:7, Meditation:22, Reading:11, Cooking:7, Documentaries:9, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:13 No snacks:0, No gaming videos:0)

It is pretty insane how hard is it to fill the void left after video games. There are many things I would like to do and improve on, but I struggle to push myself to even start. And I just end up procrastinating or not doing anything for an extended period of time. Everything in my mind seems like such a huge commitment even though it is not just a few minutes a day or even if I started, I would probably enjoy it. For example, I know I love reading and the book I am currently reading is amazing but if I think about reading I think about dozens of other things I want to do so I just end up procrastinating. One thing that I miss probably the most from video games is the sense of purpose and the drive to push myself forward to get constantly better and get to even more challenging achievements. I have a way to keep my progress for several things I do in real life, but none of it seem as rewarding as gaming made it.

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

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2 hours ago, Marek said:

It is pretty insane how hard is it to fill the void left after video games. There are many things I would like to do and improve on, but I struggle to push myself to even start.

I have a question: Are those things really the right things, if you have to push yourself to do them? I experienced that at some point, I started to do some duolingo. But it felt like hard work to me. I stopped it. After things like working out or learning for university come natural to me. I am not thinking that some things, which are hard, should be avoided all together. But maybe it is just not the right thing for now. I think, working for university the way I do now - that was impossible a year ago. But fixing my diet was perfect a year ago, which was terrible and too hard the year before that. I am saying: Build it up slowly and only start, with what you can do. I am wondering, if some of the habits, you are doing up there, are really in line with you, if you have to count the days of doing them? For instance, why run every day? I don't work out every day. Only when I feel like it. This does not require so much willpower. Regardless of that. It is great to see, that you are trying those habits. Work with them, experiment and see, what is the most fun thing to do. And if something is not enjoyable, scratch that for a while. Does not mean that you are a failure. It basically just means that you are a human being. 🙂

 

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@Alexanderle Most of the positive habits I do not count on a consecutive basis, and I am happy if I just do them regularly. Still, I do not need to do it every day. The thing is that even though some are hard to start eg, getting myself ready and going for a run or doing a workout, I know that I enjoy them. Especially the feeling I have once I make these, especially harder habits, is fantastic. I think that my problem right now is that I have not yet found anything that would give me the same fulfillment as gaming. Which more than anything scares me. I had the drive to start playing, and had the high through many hours of playing. Now that I am a lot calmer compared to the morning when I wrote my entry. I thought about it, and probably the things that were closest to the gaming were competitive sports. I had a similar rush when playing basketball or during MMA sparring sessions. 

17 minutes ago, Alexanderle said:

Regardless of that. It is great to see, that you are trying those habits. Work with them, experiment and see, what is the most fun thing to do. And if something is not enjoyable, scratch that for a while. Does not mean that you are a failure. It basically just means that you are a human being. 🙂

 

I guess that is one of my problems. I tend to over-complicate things and would love to keep everything perfect at all times. However, that is not possible. Thank you for your advice, I appreciate it 🙂.

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Two more short questions:

12 minutes ago, Marek said:

I think that my problem right now is that I have not yet found anything that would give me the same fulfillment as gaming. Which more than anything scares me.

Why do you think that is the case? Can you explain that a bit more?

The other thing is: Have you analyzed, what is missing in your life that made you consider that gaming is not satisfying anymore? Because for me, when I worked on my procrastination and trying to get better grades, at first it was only to just overcome my weakness of procrastination and bad experiences with university This eventually lead to me becoming really diehard interested in many psychological topics of clinical literature. This kinda evolved overtime. Maybe don't look for that one fulfilling awesome activity you want to do forever, but just try to work on your weaknesses, do things, which might be interesting and fun and it could very well be that a new passion develops during that process. I mean, when you started gaming, you did not do that with the question: Is that my new passion? Is that a new huge part of my identity? No, you just started, because it was kinda fun and intriguing and would eventually turn out to become such a huge part of your life. 

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@Alexanderle That is the thing. Gaming is still satisfying to me. The problem and the reason why I have stopped gaming is that I was not able to control it, and I prioritized it compared to things that I had to do. The idea that I miss the most from gaming is the competition. Even when it came to leveling and progressed, the main drive was to get better and improve in PVP mainly. In fairness, that is what I am focusing on now too. To decrease procrastination, I wish it was progressing faster. I guess, haha.

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5 hours ago, Marek said:

Day 23

Get out of bed: 08:00

Ready to sleep: 00:40

Habits:

  • Positive: (Workout:14, Walk/Run:7, Meditation:22, Reading:11, Cooking:7, Documentaries:9, Audiobooks:2)
  • Negative: (No gaming:13 No snacks:0, No gaming videos:0)

It is pretty insane how hard is it to fill the void left after video games. There are many things I would like to do and improve on, but I struggle to push myself to even start. And I just end up procrastinating or not doing anything for an extended period of time. Everything in my mind seems like such a huge commitment even though it is not just a few minutes a day or even if I started, I would probably enjoy it. For example, I know I love reading and the book I am currently reading is amazing but if I think about reading I think about dozens of other things I want to do so I just end up procrastinating. One thing that I miss probably the most from video games is the sense of purpose and the drive to push myself forward to get constantly better and get to even more challenging achievements. I have a way to keep my progress for several things I do in real life, but none of it seem as rewarding as gaming made it.

 

Thank you for reading and I will see you tomorrow.

 

Marek

You're hitting the same thing we all face. It's tough to replace 6-18 hours of your day with new things and the reality is that you can't do something for that long outside of addictive things without feeling insane. It has taken me 70+ weeks to get into animation and I finally started to enjoy it. Just be patient! 

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1 hour ago, BooksandTrees said:

You're hitting the same thing we all face. It's tough to replace 6-18 hours of your day with new things and the reality is that you can't do something for that long outside of addictive things without feeling insane. It has taken me 70+ weeks to get into animation and I finally started to enjoy it. Just be patient! 

That is something I need to hear. Thank you! That is true; it would be hard to do something for that amount of time besides being that addictive. Now that I think about it, the only thing that could come close to that would be anime or tv shows, but even that would not be as exciting as gaming. Patience is not one of my strong suits haha. I am happy to hear that you are enjoying the animation now. I have seen your last one, and it is sick! Keep it up!

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