Finding a way forward

[James S.]

Hey gang,

I tried three times to give up gaming. The longest being like 9-10 months, but I never really find a way forward. Last run I gave up gaming for streaming videos/movies constantly, and being real with myself. The gaming side of me was still there, nothing really changed. Holiday season was the busy season for work, so I intentionally relapse. Now that the busy season is over, I am gearing up to make another go at it. 

My biggest problem is I haven't found a healthy life style outside of gaming. All I did was mask it with streaming shows/movies. It worked out for a while since I was with my wife more, but overall I am still stuck as the same old James. 

My plan is to take some time and explore some options. And try to find out what else interests me that would be healthier. Hopefully by March I might have a direction to go that is better than what I did before. 

[Aggras]

Hello there James, thank you for sharing! 🙂 I hope you will find more things to add to your daily life that would help you get through this! I'd be interested to hear how it has been since last you wrote. 

[James S.]

Hey Aggras,

Thanks for your reply! Good news! My wife and I been exploring a community adults center that is around the corner from us. Very cheap and lot to do there. We officially signed up today. They have a nice gym area and I been using the space for my biblical studies. Trying to incorporate slowing down and cook food rather than frozen stuff in the oven. That is very much a work in progress lol I been getting better with Spotify, so creating playlists for work outs and groove time. 

Right now I believe my biggest weak point is after work at night. Like that moment you just don't want to think anymore and do whatever (gaming or streaming a show). I don't know what I can replace it with that is healthy. I am pondering the idea of just sleep it off when I am that emotionally tired. Something I will be testing out in the coming weeks. Like I want to quit again, but this time I want a game plan.

[Aggras]

Hello again James, I am glad to receive good news. :) 

Oh, that sounds like a really great thing to have nearby! It'd good to have a place with variety of activities. Especially great if it's not draining your wallet and has a gym, too! Oh, biblical studies, are they for like an university course or something personal? I know how it can be hard to properly slow down and cook! What has often helped me greatly with it is listening to music (or audiobooks) at the same time, kind of take care of the extra buzzing of thoughts. For me it also can work to make any chore into a kind of a game. Like, be as efficient as possible, do unnecessary cool movements that get your blood flowing. :D Maybe some variation of your own could be of use to you.

I can relate with you on the quiet/empty of things you'd have to do moments being quite hard. I have found out that sometimes it can be actually good to just sleep, if you are exhausted, no matter the time. However, I personally think in moments like that just picking some random activities (heck, even just walking around waving your arms about) or just listening to music/just being quiet and letting yourself be for a moment can get us through it. I think it's really good that you want to have a some sort of a solid survival plan! However, I don't know about you, but I tend to think too much about things and just overcomplicate everything.. So sometimes it can be best to just jump in and figure things out as I go.

 

I have actually just freshly gotten rid of my computer, less than a week ago.. I relapsed for the last past year because of a break up with my now ex wife. Let's see how it goes. :) My daughter sure is a huge motivator, even though I am still personally depressed.

 

I wish you well and looking forward to hearing from another person with problems with gaming! :) 

[James S.]

Hey Aggras,

I am really sad to hear about the divorce. They can be emotionally painful and possibility bring out the worst in people. I am glad to hear about your daughter being your cheerleader! She sounds like a real joy of a daughter to have!

If you find that you are getting deeper depressed, please seek help! I am a survivor of suicidal depression and depression in general. It can be a real monster and it has one purpose, to destroy a person's life. 

About getting rid of the computer, been there and done that. I struggled with a porn addiction and I had to take those types of measures. Know it is for your benefit and it won't be in vain. Recovery is one day at a time, and it is a process to heal. Some days you got it all together, others you want drown in whatever misery/vice you have. 

I will keep you in prayer my friend as you go thru your own recovery.

Biblical studies are personal and also for a home group I teach. I am running off a lot of old memories of when I first read thru the scriptures, and it's time to reread and relearn. I am finding there are a lot of details I missed over the first time around. For the group I am focused on help making the Bible fun to explore and help people not feel intimidated by it.  

Right now I am planning for mid March to start my new journal and try to quit. I can't see myself being a gamer past 40, like I want to use the years I got left to more important things. That has been my current motivation. 

I will catch you later!

[Victor James]

Nice words from the heart.

It is one day at a time, sometimes for me 1 hour at a time.

But it is a process and that takes time. I wish it could be done in a flash or a week but a new world/life takes time to cultivate.

I liked your intention to reread through the scriptures. I picked this up and here is one: ADDICTED TO ONLINE COMPUTER GAMING

Philippians 4:8 “Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things.”