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it's almost 2 weeks that i haven't played the video game that  made me addicted ( league of legends) . it was like a new chapter in my life , not because i quite League of legends but it was because i was seeing and i am seeing the rewards of doing the right thing even for two weeks. i study for a reasonable amount of time for university entrance exam , i started to go out and join in social life and communicate with more people and at the same time i didn't played a single game of league of legends , only opened intagram to like 5-6 min , and i never opened youtube. completely out of social media. meanwhile i was doing this , i felt so fukin happy without these programs , i only play racing feaver and vector on my phone less than 20min in day. but next problems i want to deal with is how to remove thoughts about playing league of legends? my routine is wake up at 6:30 - eat breakfast - study from 7 to 11:20 - rest from 11:30 to 1 - and my rest of the day is almost like this struggling with  books untill 8. in my rest times when i have nothing to do i constantly thing about LOL and from yesterday i spent almost 3 hours in youtube watching highlights and that started to scare me. i thought on back to game but use it reasonable with moderation but i know myself , i probably fail moderate playing this. today because i used laptop and phone more than normal i got headache because i have migraine and this past two weeks was absolutely wonderful without social media and stuff , no headache , enjoying study for the very first time , planning for my life , communicate with more people and...  . what should i do in my free time not to think about video games and back on youtube stuff? i really like how i am spending my day now i don't want to ruin it

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Forcing yourself not to think about something never works. Don't think of a red elephant. Don't! I sometimes think about videogames. Very rarely though. And why not? They were an important part of my life for around 20 years. But from what I read, you are doing absolutely amazing. I can see that you are focused on other things, are not procrastinating that much and are doing enjoyable things. So my advice: Keep focusing on that. Try to extend your now amazing life even more. The sky is the limit. You can become, whatever you want to be. Or at least you have the ability to start your journey towards your dreams. That is amazing. 🙂 

One thing about relapse: I don't have a problem with relapse. Not that I don't relapse on certain things, but I don't blame myself or feel really bad about it. It just can happen. This is more like a learning experience. And what I often see, is that people feel miserable because of it. But not gaming for 2 or 3 weeks and then relapsing... isn't this so much better than gaming for 3 weeks straight? After the relapse, you can just continue going your path. It is like basketball training. Even the very best shooters in the world, they can hit maybe a hundred baskets. But they will also miss at some point. We are not robots, luckily. And I have this theory that sometimes just thinking so hard about relapsing or not relapsing can be a big contributor, what actually causes the relapse.

So long story short: I think you are doing just fine. Just don't be too hard on yourself. 🙂 

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7 hours ago, Alexanderle said:

sometimes think about videogames. Very rarely though. And why not? They were an important part of my life for around 20 years

yea damn right . i don't know you ever played LOL or not but it's like a swamp , i saw people around me the more they tried to quit the more crave the had to playing. not gonna lie , the play style is amazing it drags you in it but after all it's worthless game. it takes over people's life slowly and most of the people are toxic. the only social media i use is now just this GQ forum people just support each other and share their experience  .

7 hours ago, Alexanderle said:

But from what I read, you are doing absolutely amazing. I can see that you are focused on other things, are not procrastinating that much and are doing enjoyable things

ow thank you 🙂 this part really made me feel happy

 

 

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Congrats on quitting LoL cold turkey for two weeks straight! That game can be insanely addictive. 

Yeah, I agree with @Alexanderle, you can't avoid thinking about it. If you've ever tried meditation and tried not thinking, it's absolutely impossible. Your brain will think about what it wants to for the most part. 

I'd recommend two things to try, and see how it works:

1) Meditation. This can be very helpful for recognizing emotions and thoughts and being able to not act impulsively on them. 

2) Whenever you think about LoL, make your response be to ask yourself what's something other than LoL you want to do. All habits follow the same pattern: cue-routine-reward. You receive some kind of a stimulus, which then makes you do something, which then makes you feel good. For example, and this might not be exact, a loop like you described could look like:

Cue--think about LoL/something that makes you think about LoL

Routine--play LoL

Reward--dopamine, achievement, social interaction (however toxic), victory.

It's a lot easier to build new habits to replace old ones. A new habit could look like this:

Cue--think about LoL/something that makes you think about LoL

Routine--ask yourself what else besides LoL would be fun (gym, going outside, reading, creating something, other competitive hobby)

Reward--dopamine, achievement, social interaction (not toxic!), victory (self)

Note that the rewards match in both. Unless these desires are lessened (whatever they are, I don't know what it might be for you), the brain will still want the same things, so the goal is to get the same things in a healthier manner. 

Hope this helps!

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@DaBest Hey ! Thanks for the reply

Very useful tips!

now i spend around 10 hours Studying for university entrance exam from 7 am - 9pm . my exam is 4.5 month later and i have to work really hard to be accepted in what i want  . so a new hobby like gym , going outside stuff is not a good option now. i guess i finally get used to it , two weeks ago i couldn't wake up before 10m now i am awake at 6.15 everyday! i am trying to concentrate on books , the reward of doing this pretty much the same but it takes more time , i study , i go university , new journey , new people ,real social life ,  it's pretty much a  huge victory for a guy who was a loser for 3-4 years. also i am building a new me . i guess it's more like a mental thing , the way you think about it. most of the times when i think about LOL i open game quitters and read story people like myself and communicate with this people and it reminds me what i lost during that times i was wasting by gaming. and it's not just gaming , every attachment . not only i quit LOL but also i stopped talking to my social media friends ( LOL players or non LOL players) .now it's only me and my book and 5 month to go. if i pass this , i have many more big goals in life and that takes a strong mental sate .

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I have to really agree with @DaBest those kinda tips are very useful. As a matter of fact, this is exactely, what I am doing, when I have thoughts about gaming. In a certain way, a negative-positive thought loop: Something triggers a gaming thought (could be an ad or whatever) - I think about a game (for instance rocket league) - I see my car flying through the air doing an insane circus shot - I see myself playing the game - I see, how I feel afterwards - I try to focus on, what I could do instead and how that makes me feel - and boom, my focus has changed and I am back on track. Those gaming thoughts really won't last that long.

Meditation is also definitely fine, I have nothing against it. It is not really my thing, but that is subjective. However, I think that is important to have some activity that involves sport. That is, because it will make you feel better afterwards and even more important - you will be more productive, your learning will improve, you get more shit done. In the end, how much time will you "loose"? 4 to 6 hours is more than enough. And this then ofc can relate to your health overall, which will make you feel even better. Over time, your energy levels will increase and you become addicted to improve yourself even more. Two months from now, you will be a working machine! Just my thoughts on the importance of sports.

 

Oh, also something regarding waking up early: I used to wake up between 5 and 6.30 every morning for around 2 months. I was super productive. Then all the sudden like 1 or 2 weeks ago, I stopped. Now I am kinda back to the old struggles to wake up early. So don't be suprised, when this happens. You just gotta stick with it and keep struggling through it. I belive, it will be better eventually. 🙂 

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Whait league of legends is that gametype where 10 people come together to learn offending everyone in another language or in english (it was not the same back when it came out)?
Is it lol still a thing in the videogame industry ^_^?

Honestly I never found that game entertaining and only did play it becouse it was hype.
I started becouse people begging me to play with them, never did quit and deleted my whole account a while ago.
We had sessions with league where the first who did die had to pay others a beer.
It was a blast back then, but the internet society just broken apart with all the esport stuff.
After a while you read that this game even ended friendships or caused deaths.

After I found out how few people actually play videogames (1 out of 10 and this includes every medium like console and mobile...) I realized how stupid I was to get tricket into this.

And if you find some odd statistics of videogamers world wide, compare the actual Internet user statistics to videogame statistics.
I even found statistics trying to tell me there are actually more online gamers than internet users O_o.
Hell if you look at the faked riot statistics.... all to keep you playing.

No, you do not climb the social ladder becouse you do have a good league rank.

It's a sort of "one time enjoyment" and people take gaming to seriously. Making excuses they can get rich playing it.

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@creationlist Those statistics would probably be suspect because what are they classifying as a gamer or an internet user? Everybody with a smartphone is an internet user, and I'd wager most phone users have at least tried a game like Candy Crush. 

But as for people who actually navigate to sites like Reddit or something like that, most people don't I've found. That's why I always tell my friends who are trying to be web designers that the future is in apps, not websites. Nobody goes to websites anymore. "Average" people don't even have desktop computers in their homes these days. So yeah if they're talking about that kind of internet user, I'd bet that most or all of them are also gamers because they're the ones who have PCs and are far less likely to have social lives.

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On 2/24/2020 at 6:20 PM, ceponatia said:

"Average" people don't even have desktop computers in their homes these days.

Nothing to add here, I wonder how society will be within 20 years.
They currently invent lenses who project images on your eye. The first prototypes already work.
https://spectrum.ieee.org/biomedical/bionics/augmented-reality-in-a-contact-lens

We do have the first generations of people growing up with a 24/7 online experience.

Shure videogame industries grew bigger, but the broader social participants want to be unique.
So I do not think videogames will be the next football for example. Even with companies trying to sell it like that.
Even with technical advancements, there will not be a virtual videogame where every internet user logs on.
People will understand the internet can be used to make a better society I think.

Anyway, the OP is at university. Just ask how many of your fellow students play videogames.
When I was at university I was a loner playing videogames, like I was at school.
And I did not realize it. Easiest thing to find and forget is to talk with people about it.
You have the advantage to talk with people who even do not play videogames, or rarely.

Edited by creationlist
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