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Julon

It‘s time to stop!

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Hello, my name is Jonas, I‘m 18 years old and I live in Germany.

I startet playing video games at the age of 7 when  I got a Nintendo DS. At this age I still had many friends and i was outside for almost the whole day, playing soccer or Badminton. So there was not much time to play games. But it all changed when I decided to go on a Secondary school where I did not have to learn latin, without my friends. I thought this wouldn‘t be a problem, because I was very good at making new friends. But the new classmates were completly different from me.  They all were friends already and excluded me. Soon I became very lonely and at this time I discovered Minecraft.  I quickly found many new friends online through the game and I startet playing more and more to replace the friends I didn’t have. My parents then limited the time on my PC to 1  1/2 hours a day. But I was able to find out the password of the programm that limited my playtime and was now using every minute my parents didn‘t look for me to play games ( Both of my parents worked very much). In sixth grade I already played about 7 hours a day. Because I often did not eat during this time I got very skinny and my classmates sort of bullied me because of my low weight . The lack of social interactions caused that I got a social anxiety  and very low selfesteem  which then led me into a  depression.To free myself from all of this I startet playing even more and soon discovered shooters like CS:GO.  I was addicted directly and got very good  very fast. My grades went down even more but I still managed to  reach 9th grade. At this point I haven‘t met anyone in real life for one or two years. My depression got worse and something  inside of me said that I finally need to turn my life around. I decided to switch my school and I got a gym membership to finally achieve a body not everybody is laughing at. The new school was/is much better  and I found  two friends. But I‘am still stuck on my addiction. The last  two years were full of quitting video games, then relapsing and watching youtube to replace all the free time when I’am not playing games ( I find watching youtube even more useless ). One of the positive things is, that I was able to put on 45 pounds of weight because of the gym, so no one talks about my weight anymore. But my problem is that I still stay at home and rarely meet anyone and I almost have no skills besides playing video games.
In about one year I will have my finals and after that I will have no structured day and I will have to stand on my own two feet. In my current situation I wouldn‘t be able to do that, so I decided to finally really commit fighting my addiction by joining this community.  I already startet with deleting all games, the bigger problem is youtube for me right now.  I know that playing games or watching youtube as a reward doesn‘t work for me, because I will get stuck on it. So I will have to do it cold Turkey.  Replacing all this free time with pleasurable things will be very hard and I would be very thankful if someone could suggest some activities.   I will also be starting a daily or weekly journal when the stressful phase in school is over. 
I hope this time it really  works. Wish me luck!

Edited by Julon
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Hey @Julon I am also from Germany.

Your life story is quite similar to mine and you have this unbelievable chance to make chances a lot sooner than I am doing. I am 27 now and feel that there is a lot of time, I can never get back. But not it is time to look forward and start massive action.

Right now, I am trying to spread the website called socialpronow.com around because it is really helping me. Maybe it could also help you. It offers a free email training so you have nothing to loose. 🙂 I learned so much already, it is insane. Stuff you can immediately make use of. Regarding the rest, I think you have the right mindset. Keep going, delete all the crap in your life that is holding you back and start living to the fullest. I got you covered. And I now that everyone in this community is doing that as well. 

Take care!

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Hi Julon,

Welcome to the community.

It is great that you want to do this at this early age. Like Alexanderle, I would give everything if I can trade the time back and start this process earlier. I am 29 days in the fight and already feel the big differences it bring. I pick up the “hope” I once lost (for a long time), my confidence gain a big boost, my social skills are speeding forward.

Cam has a good list of activities he recommend, you can try some of those. I am doing badminton and reading at the moment, just tried body boarding last week. If unsure about what is good, just try something first and at least you know what you don’t like. Then you will find something you like. Fill the time up! 

 

Edited by BgK

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Thanks for the Kind words!

It‘s realy nice to have a community of people that support each other! I‘m Definitely going to check out the website and the list of activities.

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Hi @Julon welcome to this community , try to watch all the videos of @Cam Adair on YouTube , just 1 video a day and put all the information u hear in that video in action , do not over consume contents on youtube or any other things that require a digital screen because it fits the same need of playing games which mean that you have to quit that too . also i recommend finding replacements for gaming like studying , doing an Ausbildung , finding a Job but do not forget to reward yourself everytime u achieve something ,make  daily  and a monthly Goals ,  so when u reach your  goal u can eat something you like or just hanging out with friends , going to the gym , but avoid drugs or any harmful things . 
there are tons of tons  of guides here that will help you but try to not wasting your whole day reading guides or something like that , instead try to do things outside your digital screen .

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I can relate a lot to your post, @Julon! I'm older now but my childhood sounds very familiar. I also didn't eat much and was picked on for being short and very thin (was called "Smurf" until 12th grade 😂). It's funny because the stereotypical view of the game addict is the exact opposite of what we were, physically. My parents tried locking me out of my computer as a kid but I, too, discovered how to bypass that. You and @Netzwerkeralso bring up a good point by mentioning how many things are tied into gaming on some level. YouTube is a big one, and also Reddit for me. I just haven't found it to be productive at all for me to be surrounded by gamers while trying to quit. It makes me build up a lot of resentment toward them and then I give in to cravings. Keep coming back to the forum! One thing I've learned from my recovery from alcoholism is how important community is.

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Thanks for the replies.

yeahhh... @Netzwerker I have tried this one video thing multiple times, never realy worked though. Yesterday i was working on a presentation and I had to use my pc ( normaly I avoid using it) I managed to work for 4h  and thought one single video couldn‘t hurt... well the next 2 1/3 hours i spent consuming completely useless content  because I looked at the sidebar which had some realy tempting recommendations.  I now downloaded  Destraction free youtube for my browser, which removes all recommendations and I have to search for specific videos. I think it‘s going to be better now.

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@Julon 

40 minutes ago, Julon said:

 I have tried this one video thing multiple times, never realy worked though.

usually it will not work if u have so many recommendations that you love to watch , for me i have unsubscribed all channels but game quitters , nofab , Galileo and the channels that i learn programming from it . that is all ! use this method and try to set a very specific time to finish your work as fast as possible , for example if it takes 4 hours then set your timer for 3.5 hours only and try to beat that , then if you fail u can add 30 minutes and the job will be done . this is what i call youtube in moderation ! if this method does not work u might click that nuclear button and start cold turkey , which means that u have to take holiday from your job for 1 week at least where u close anything related to digital screen like laptop , TV and smart phone . try to find replacements that make you happy like sport or hanging out with friends , spending time with parents etc ( there are 60 hobbies  ideas on this site) .

i will give you a trick that will force you  to improve , start a journal here in this website like this :

Gratitude journal
 

Today I am grateful for having this ....


One amazing thing that happened/I did today

 

I have started a very good job that i deserve ..

i have controlled my self and not watched youtube

 

Workout/run

 

2 hours

 

Meditation

 

25 minutes


Visualisation and daily affirmation

 

I am sure that i will sleep for 7 hours only a day after 1 week

 


my wake-up time

06:45

Weekly Goal(s)


sleeping for less than 8 hours .


Monthly Goal

being able to study more frequently and have more patience for study longer



What went well today: 

 

I woke up at the right moment and started my day very active

 

What I could have done to make my day better:

 

study a bit more, should have done more sports instead of watching that 2 games of football for 4 hours

 

What I will do differently tomorrow/What I have planned for tomorrow:

 

tomorrow i will sleep  10 minutes later ( or wake up 10 minutes earlier)

 

Weekly summary, thoughts and improvements for the future

i Have learned today that step by step is the best way to improve .

 

such a journal will show you @Julon  your progress day by day , and that is like the experience bar that u see in Games ! when u see your progress everyday u will feel more satisfied with your self and it will be harder for you to relapse . 

anyway Julon i wish you a very successful year .

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