Jump to content

NEW VIDEO: Is gaming a waste of time?

Sign in to follow this  
Erik2.0

Who Am I? Day 1

Recommended Posts

Hello,

It’s 11/14/19 and I decided to recommit to quit today after just thirty minutes of gaming. I was having a hard time dealing with the fact that I’m 31 and single. I’ve wanted to be stable with someone forever so it’s dismaying for me. I just feel like it’s really difficult for me to find someone. 
 

I have a job but haven’t saved much money. I’m kind of thin and don’t have the best skin. And I have schizoaffective disorder. That’s a combination of depression and schizophrenia. It means I’m at risk for getting depressed and sometimes have delusions that people are out to get me. 
 

My therapist recommended me to a group for people who are chronically mentally ill because I was continually having suicidal ideation for months while working with her. I’ve really got to continue with that group. 
 

Anyways. Things didn’t workout with a couple of romantic prospects and I got pretty down. Then I was playing a game and realized. “Playing isn’t making me feel better. It’s making me feel worse.” That led me back on here and now I’m adding to the forums. 
 

I've never been an online poster, I don’t even use social media. But for some reason this site has given me the power to quit gaming when I felt completely hopeless. When I get paid I’m thinking I’ll try to complete the respawn guide. 
 

If you read my intro you know I’ve been on vacation trying to quit again. It’s hard, it hurts and I’m not really sure what my identity is. “Who am I?” Is a question I’m trying to answer now.

 

I am a Christian. I workout, I practice yoga and mindfulness. I love to read, especially the Bible. I love my family and even though it’s challenging for me to get along with them sometimes. I keep trying. I’m a counselor and I hope to become a licensed therapist some day. I used to be a gaming addict. 
 

I just feel like my whole life is at risk when I play a game for even a second. It’s a pretty intense reality, but I think it’s true for any gaming addict. The only solution for me is to stop gaming for life.
 

Erik

  • Like 4

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think that gaming is just a medium through which your problems manifest themselves. The gaming addiction is not a cause of your problems, but a secondary effect of something else. Even if you could defeat the addiction, I'm afraid that would not help you as it would find ways to manifest in other areas of your life. You must discover what the underlying problem is and usually it's something a person tries to avoid. You must bravely consult your conscience and ask yourself "what am I doing wrong in this situation?". Sorry, I don't want to sound like I'm blaming you, but assuming responsibility for the bad things that happen in your life is really helpful, because then it's on you. You're not a helpless victim in your situation but an active agent upon which everything depends. That's what I do with my problems.

And I understand that not having a girlfriend at 31 sucks. I'm 23 and I never had a romantic relationship, even though I wanted that with my whole heart. But I also believe there are valuable lessons that can be learned when you are alone. It may be painful to admit this but another person, no matter how wonderful she might be, can't make you happy. Nobody's perfect and nobody can carry the weight of responsibility to make us happy. That load is ours and even though its a hard load, its a liberating thing too. A well developed personality is independent and relationships from his or her perspective are optional, not mandatory.  

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Erik,

Glad you're here. I can relate to a lot of what you said. You can absolutely 100% get through this. You've already taken some great steps forward.

In my opinion the hardest part is the start, but as you start building the structures and habits around you that you'll need, things will get easier. And even if you step backwards, you'll start being able to recover quicker, so to speak. And it's really interesting that you said you didn't know yourself. Thinking back on my own experience, these past 7 months have been hugely informative for me. I've been able to push a few comfort zones of mine, and I ended up challenging a few notions of myself which ended up being completely false. I wouldn't have been able to attempt any of that if I hadn't given up games.

Good luck to you!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
On 11/15/2019 at 9:25 PM, DaBest said:

Hi Erik,

Glad you're here. I can relate to a lot of what you said. You can absolutely 100% get through this. You've already taken some great steps forward.

In my opinion the hardest part is the start, but as you start building the structures and habits around you that you'll need, things will get easier. And even if you step backwards, you'll start being able to recover quicker, so to speak. And it's really interesting that you said you didn't know yourself. Thinking back on my own experience, these past 7 months have been hugely informative for me. I've been able to push a few comfort zones of mine, and I ended up challenging a few notions of myself which ended up being completely false.

Hi!

 

Great post thank you for your reply. It sounds like you’ve excelled in increasing your comfort zone and overcome some negative beliefs that weren’t true about yourself? Either way, good job being seven months off. I’ll try to post again. It’s been about ten days for me now. How did you get into your hobbies? What are they?

Erik

  • Like 1

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hi Erik,

First of all, congrats on the ten days! That's a great first step. 

Yeah, I've been more successful in pushing my comfort zone in some areas rather than others, probably first and foremost was that I did not consider myself a funny person. I kind of knew things changed a bit once I opened up to people, but I had a harder time doing so. I started doing improv this past year and I ended up joining an indie team. We've been doing a bunch of shows and I found out today that we might be getting a paid gig, which is absolutely wild. But the best part from doing all this is that I'm a much more open person in general, not just with humor.

Right now my three main hobbies are improv, bodybuilding, and salsa dancing. Improv for the aforementioned reasons. Bodybuilding is recent due to back problems I am having, and I've always wanted to be an athlete of sorts. Salsa dancing I'm picking back up because I need help with romantic relationships with women. There are others too, but I've had too many that I've started and dropped for one reason or another.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...