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TheNewMe2.0's Journal - A Better Life


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13 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

I accomplished eating fish pancakes for breakfast

Like...normal chocolate chip pancakes without chocolate chips and with fish instead? Please tell me you did not do this. I might cry. This could impact our friendship lol.

 

On 7/3/2020 at 10:58 AM, Erik2.0 said:

I might be in the running for weakest injury award.

The body is sensitive. I wouldn't get upset over this. It's easy to focus on it. I've been injured from having my desk elevated too high or not tying my shoes. It's just about doing things your body appreciates and can do without adhering to something different. Take them as learning experiences.

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@Marek A heat pack sounds nice. I'll see if we have something like that. Thanks for the good luck. I think we'll be okay. Everything's going well enough with the move so far. I look forward to season 4 of AoT too. The story is so good. The way it builds up and just keeps building. And when they unveil the mystery happenings it's actually interesting info. Not like Lost. 

@BooksandTrees hahaha, my mom made them. They're pancakes with broccoli, fish and rice in them instead of chocolate chips. Yes. That's why it was an accomplishment to eat them. They weren't really my cup of tea. She makes a lot of random Chinese food like this. But, I'm grateful I have something to eat. I'll try to work with my body more. I've been only watching tv from a straightforward position with no angle lately. My neck has not stopped hurting though. I'm concerned for my mom who will watch at an angle because only one of us can look at it straight on at a time obviously. TV is an imperfect creation.

Day 221 NP 184 Np 175 Med 160 NF 60

Positives: Yeah, 2 months nofap, socialized yesterday, and movings going along.

So today I celebrate two months nofap. I think I was at 90 days before so I'm slowly climbing to beat my old record and hopefully stay off it for good. I think nofap is good for your energy levels, time management and self control. I feel better in how I relate to other people especially women. I'm more interested in talking to people than just trying to have sex. I socialized yesterday with my mom's friends. They brought a girl who was around my age which was cool. It made me think about learning Chinese just in case I get introduced to someone I like. That girl's on her way to Hawaii to live there so I probably won't see her again anytime soon. Also I wasn't really feeling it. I don't feel comfortable with most people though so it's kind of like. Hard to be hopeful of meeting someone I like. But it's probably possible. I feel pretty comfortable with my mom. Maybe I can find someone else I feel comfy with. There was some issue with escrow in our move. But it sounded like it was going to be fine. We're set to move on the 20th. So about two more weeks and I'll be in my new home. That'll be nice. I saw what the new house layout will be like. My room is going to be bigger than it is now. So sweet. Upgrade. My mom said she's going to try to not rent it out so we can have more privacy. This is what I've requested so that's very nice of her to try to do that for me. I'm grateful. The house has a basement, middle and upstairs. There's 4 bedrooms. There'll be so much space with us two there. It'll be awesome. 

Life: I'm accepting that I'll be sleeping about 13 hours a night with no reprieve from that. Changing my meds up isn't going well. I'm all anxious and breaking out in acne from it. It's no good. So I think I'm going to stop trying out this med change. 

I smiled at my mom

I accomplished writing poetry

I am grateful for my mom, poetry, writing, my lil notebook, the notebook, actors, my lap table, GQ, podcasts and the GQ podcast.

God bless

Erik

 

Edited by Erik2.0
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1 hour ago, Erik2.0 said:

hahaha, my mom made them. They're pancakes with broccoli, fish and rice in them instead of chocolate chips. Yes. That's why it was an accomplishment to eat them.

Oh...

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@!!!!!@!!@!!@!!+!!!!+!!@!!!!!!

1 hour ago, Erik2.0 said:

Life: I'm accepting that I'll be sleeping about 13 hours a night with no reprieve from that. Changing my meds up isn't going well. I'm all anxious and breaking out in acne from it. It's no good. So I think I'm going to stop trying out this med change. 

You might find that after a few months it goes down to 9 or something. Didn't you say you did 12 a few times? This could be a slow effect. 

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@BooksandTrees haha. Yeah you'll have to eat some of these 'pancakes' sometime. I did not continue eating them after the first try. You're right about the sleep. It was at 12 a few times. It may go down. I'm okay with it how it is right now. Work's going okay with the sleep how it is. 

Day 222 NP 185 Np 176 Med 161 NF 61

Positives: I'm successfully working in person again, I'm back to normal meds dose and we got ice cream?

Working in person is going well. I'm hanging with my client and watching konosuba. It's a decent show and it's funny sometimes. I'm just glad we're watching something that isn't too triggering for me. So yeah, I'm back to in person working with one client so far. Eventually it'll be all of them I think. That means more work and less money for me. Oh well, CV benefits couldn't last forever. I'm just grateful I have a job. I went back to my normal med dose. I feel tired from that change attempt. I'm glad to be back to this dosage though. I feel more calm. And feeling calm is something I value highly. I look forward to watching some DCS Legends and maybe Baki. Baki is a crazy anime about martial arts. It's slightly triggering for me as I avoid practicing martial arts because it makes me get angry. So Idk maybe I'll find a different anime on Netflix. Sadly I cancelled my VRV membership even though it was fun watching anime. I just want to save every dollar I can to pay back my student loans. I'm even working out at home with no subscriptions to anything. I made a payment on my loan recently which is great and largely ]thanks to my mom who has paid for almost everything for me. Without her support I wouldn't be able to make any payments on my loans but with her 90% + of my income goes to loan repayment. So that's nice. We got ice cream. Which is maybe not so good, but I do enjoy the ice cream so it's sort of a good and bad thing. I'm just hungry right now. Can't wait for the girls to cook me dinner 😛

I smiled at the girls making me dinner

I accomplished working

I am grateful for dinner, work, ice cream, konosuba, clients, calm, @BooksandTrees, water, thermos, thermoflask, and costco.

God bless

Erik

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Day 223 NP 186 Np 177 Med 162 NF 62

Positives: No more work this week, reading poetry and hopefully writing too.

So I only had to work 3 hours this week because my clients on vacation. So I'm not doing too much work this week...these days really. Just kind of cruising till we're moving. The strange thing is I don't know when my client will be back, they just said, "A while." Hopefully they don't like move him to another state or something. He'll be back. I'm reading The Sun and Her Flowers by Rupi Kaur. It's a good poetry book. I like reading poetry. It takes a lot less effort than writing it. But it's still gratifying and I get to see how other people do it. I didn't write yesterday for the first time in a while. I'll try to write today though. It's weird writing senryu poems and poems that are just blocks of script. I'm not sure which is better or maybe just to do both. Takes surprisingly a lot of time. Especially if you have to write in 5-7-5 syllable structure. 

Life: My neck hurtsss. Ow. I'm going to try to work it out today to see if that helps. I'm doing my best to not look at anything at an angle. But I kind of had to yesterday for my job. Hopefully this heals up this week before I'm back at it next week for work.

I smiled at my lights

I accomplished eating rice for breakfast

I am grateful for water, rice, lights, books, poems, writers, floors, tabletops, plants and moving.

God bless

Erik

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Day 224 NP 187 Np 178 Med 163 NF 63

Positives: I'm quitting desert, I'm moderating eating and at least there are a few shows I can watch.

After eating a large quantity of food and cake last night at my mom's friends birthday. I want to commit to quitting desert foods and eating moderately at all meals. I don't have a robust cardio program so I have to rely on my diet to stay thin. So that's what I'm going to do. diet. I wasn't able to watch warrior nun. Most shows make me too uncomfortable to watch so I'll have to find something else. At least there are a few shows I can watch. Supergirl, Des legends, the flash, star girl, saki k, Kims convenience, etc. I'll find something to watch with my mom. 

Life: I've been struggling with thoughts of playing games lately. I'll imagine playing like I used to when I played games. I want to stop thinking about playing. Stop imagining playing. Like how in the Bible it says if you think about sex it's a sin. I don't even want to think about gaming. I'll do my best. 

I smiled at the new owners of my home as they came to inspect the house.

I accomplished committing to stop eating desert

I am grateful for the people buying my home, my new home, new home previous owners, smoke detectors, my phone, my remotes, rook, forearms, forearm hair and eyebrows.

God bless

Erik

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2 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

I'm quitting desert,

The desert can be a hot, dry, and hopeless place. I'd consider quitting it as well. The beach and suburb life is where it's at. 

I'm being a pain in the ass. Dessert is one of those things I can't control either. I feel sick and get too much sugar and lethargy. So I just swapped them out with healthy alternatives that I don't want to eat a ton of.

I also challenge you to think about why you're thinking about games. Willpower only lasts so long before you start thinking about them again. Be more free-flowing with the thoughts. Why do you crave them right now? Do you miss having an immediate purpose? Do you miss gaining exp? Do you miss competition? Do you feel lonely? What's the emotional reason you miss games? Are you bored? Etc.

Think about that and then see how you can remedy your situation by doing a different activity than video games. That way you don't use up all your emotional energy trying to withdraw from thoughts of gaming. Go with the flow and study it. Don't block the flow. The flow is not video game addiction. The flow is your emotional need for video games. Redirect the flow of emotional needs into another hobby or activity so you can stay healthy.

Edited by BooksandTrees
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@BooksandTrees Haha. Yea it's hard quitting desert when there's a bunch of it in the freezer. Idk if I'll make it on the quitting train for that. I think I'm wanting to game because I was feeling stressed. So maybe if I could structure my days to be less stressful that would help.

Day 225 NP 188 Np 179 Med 164 NF 64

Positives: still alive and breathing, taking a rest day and drinking lots of water.

Today might be tough. I might be beat and struggling to feel better from my neck injury. But at least I'm still alive and well. I know the sun will come back around. That the rain in my life will eventually subside. My neck will feel better. The girls will move out. I won't be so stressed. It'll get better. It'll be okay. I'm trying to rest up today. To spend all my time at home. I've been going out with my mom and the girls the past two. days and I'm just totally exhausted from it. I'm not going out today no matter what. I'm also looking forward to drinking lots of water because I don't get to do that when I have to go out because I don't want to have to search for a public bathroom.

Life: Somehow my mom is still pretty nice and positive through it all. I get upset and overwhelmed easier than her I think. It's good to have her around to make me feel better when I'm down. So , grateful for her.

I smiled at the leaves

I accomplished reading poetry

I am grateful for leaves, poetry, mom, MacBook Air, lap table, pillow, couch, floor, hardwood, and air.

God bless

Erik

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Hi friend,

 

What a beautiful post. Yes, we are still alive and breathing. Your perspective is so wonderful to read. Praying for your neck injury to heal quickly. You listening to your body and prioritizing rest will help that. 
 

Sending healing energy. 
 

Talk soon.

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7 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

@BooksandTrees Haha. Yea it's hard quitting desert when there's a bunch of it in the freezer. Idk if I'll make it on the quitting train for that. I think I'm wanting to game because I was feeling stressed. So maybe if I could structure my days to be less stressful that would help.

Day 225 NP 188 Np 179 Med 164 NF 64

Positives: still alive and breathing, taking a rest day and drinking lots of water.

Today might be tough. I might be beat and struggling to feel better from my neck injury. But at least I'm still alive and well. I know the sun will come back around. That the rain in my life will eventually subside. My neck will feel better. The girls will move out. I won't be so stressed. It'll get better. It'll be okay. I'm trying to rest up today. To spend all my time at home. I've been going out with my mom and the girls the past two. days and I'm just totally exhausted from it. I'm not going out today no matter what. I'm also looking forward to drinking lots of water because I don't get to do that when I have to go out because I don't want to have to search for a public bathroom.

Life: Somehow my mom is still pretty nice and positive through it all. I get upset and overwhelmed easier than her I think. It's good to have her around to make me feel better when I'm down. So , grateful for her.

I smiled at the leaves

I accomplished reading poetry

I am grateful for leaves, poetry, mom, MacBook Air, lap table, pillow, couch, floor, hardwood, and air.

God bless

Erik

I hope you feel better soon. You'll get back to a better place in no time. 

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@Icandothis Thank you. I was reading this poetry book 'Pillow Thoughts' and felt more optimistic. Maybe you'd like it. I got it on hoopla on my phone for free. I hope my neck heals quickly too. Trying to rest it as much as possible. 

@BooksandTrees Thanks and definitely. I'll be okay soon enough. At least I don't have much work to do right now. I think I was looking for an escape from work is why I was craving games too. I'm going to try to spend time learning a language so I have another escape to go to.

Day 226 NP 189 Np 180 Med 165 NF 65

Positives: I'm doing better to not get angry, I like my new shorts and we got free Chinese food.

I was angry the other day after having to hang with the girls for 5 hours and go to an outlet mall that always stresses me out. But I'm feeling better today. I spent a bunch of time just watching tv. There's an anime called Japan Sinks 2020 on Netflix I'm watching. I like the shots of the terrain coupled with soothing piano music. It's not that jarring for a natural disaster show. I realize it's not ideal to be watching tv. But, at least I wasn't angry yesterday after watching like I was the day before. So I'm trying to do things each day with my mood in mind to make sure I don't get upset again. Even if it's tv it's better than angry. I got new shorts. They're pretty decent. Slightly tight but that's better than having to use the drawstring. I think they'll be okay. I got new shoes too, but I'm not sure if I'll keep them or not. My feet don't agree with most shoes so I'll keep testing them. My moms friend gave us pork and eggs. I think that'll be good to eat later. I'm looking to do my 15 minutes of yoga after this. So good luck to me. I'll probably do it. I feel alright today. Moving in 10 days. 

Life: The aches and pains aren't so bad today. I don't have to look at a screen with a client so my head doesn't have to turn much at all. Maybe I'll opt for a board game with client on Monday so there's no head turning. Maybe I'll just do it and see how my neck feels. Hope it'll be fine. Hope everyone's doing well and getting by okay.

I smiled at my mom mopping the floor.

I accomplished putting my shoes on.

I am grateful for my mom, mopping, shoes, floor, water, chocolate, cake, ice cream, pork, and eggs.

God bless

Erik

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On 7/8/2020 at 11:50 PM, Erik2.0 said:

I've been struggling with thoughts of playing games lately.

Is this what you meant that needs to be recommitted? 😄 I'm struggling at that situation often too. Worst case, I'll be dreaming about it. Haha!

39 minutes ago, Erik2.0 said:

I spent a bunch of time just watching tv.

If you have spare time, try watching Love War, a Japanese Anime as well. It's about two nerds who likes each other but doesn't want to admit it so they're trying to make each other confess first. Haha! 😂 I'm not a fan of animes that much  but this one I like the most. 😅
 

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4 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

so I have another escape to go to.

I'd avoid this mindset. Escape vs Venture is different. 

"I ventured into the classroom to learn Russian!"

"I escaped from my life into the classroom to learn Russian..."

One seems depressed and one seems like you meant to do it and enjoy it.

If you keep prefacing things with escape it means you're highlighting the fact you hate the rest of your life and are trying to escape. If that's the case the it's important to change your life, not escape it.

Edited by BooksandTrees
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@chiliflavor Maybe I'll checkout love war if I get back on vrv. Sounds kind of funny and romantic. Yeah I've been struggling with thoughts of gaming lately. It got a little better since I recommitted. I can't always control the thoughts about it it seems. Sometimes they come and all I can do is let them be. I have dreams of playing games sometimes too. I try to just let it go I guess.

@BooksandTrees Alright, I'll venture into learning a new language. I have baggage with Chinese. I feel paranoid that people are against me when I'm learning it. So I don't know if I'll keep trying with that language. Japanese is more friendly for me. But it's not exactly practical. I'm always around Chinese people because of my mom. But I don't ever meet any Japanese people. Maybe I'll find a club for it someday though. 😄

Day 227 NP 190 Np 181 Med 166 NF 66

Positive post: 5 months of meditation, still game free and dentist today.

So I was wondering how long it's been since I've meditated at least 10 minutes a day consecutively and it's been 5 months. So that's great. It's been a while. I'm glad I'm still game free. I try to just avoid anything to do with games as much as possible. Like if I'm walking by an add for games I'll try not to look at it. I'm on my way to see the dentist for my 6 month cleaning. I think it'll go better than usual because I've been brushing my teeth for 4 minutes at a time these past six months to keep them cleaner. Update: the dentist was very painful to get my teeth cleaned. I think this is normal for most people. They said my teeth looked pretty good though and there was just some buildup to clean off. See you in six months.

I smiled at the day

I accomplished posting

I am grateful for the day, my posts, everyones posts, posts, lamp posts, light posts, fence posts, planks, floor planks, and body plank.

God bless

Erik

 

Edited by Erik2.0
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@BooksandTrees I don't know. I felt like people would look down on my growing up because I didn't know Chinese and was half asian half white. So I still feel like people are looking down on me when I try to learn it.

Day 228 NP 191 Np 182 Med 167 NF 67

Positives: Tv, ice cream and trips to Costco.

I look forward to tv and ice cream a little too much. I used to look forward to writing on these forums more when I didn't watch tv. It was the most stimulating thing I did with my day. But alas now the tv is entertaining me. Oh well. I'll still keep posting. I think it's good for me and helps me stay off the games. I realized today that my thoughts are never going to be perfect. There will always be a thought that wanders in and out from time to time of gaming. But I'll just let it come and go. That's about all I can do. And live a clean healthy lifestyle. I love trips to Costco with my mom. It's one of the few things we do together. I'm trying to find shows for us to watch, but it's hard because I have an inability to watch most shows. And she doesn't like anime or superhero genre stuff. It's okay. 

Life: I tried a poets group yesterday. I think stress from the group gave me acne. So I'm probably not going back. It was kind of fun sharing my poems. But really I just read and write poetry for myself. Getting other people involved isn't a priority for me right now. Maybe I could share with my mom and her friend who's interested. But, I dunno I don't want to deal with it if I don't end up feeling comfortable with what they have to say or the process of sharing. I'd almost rather just not share. I'm such a shut in sometimes. Poetry island. 

I smiled at teen titans crossover with TT Go.

I accomplished getting my teeth cleaned ow.

I am grateful for people on here, love, kindness, compassion, sweetness, mercy, forgiveness, likability, family and nature.

God bless

Erik

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4 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

So I still feel like people are looking down on me when I try to learn it.

Not to sound rude, but nobody gives a shit, dude. You could wear unicorn costumes in your house all day and nobody would know or care. I say do what you want. Do you care if I drink lemonade at 1:37 PM on Saturdays during the month of July? I doubt it.

Edited by BooksandTrees
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@BooksandTrees lemonade sugar will go straight to your hips. Haha. We'll see about Chinese. I understand probably no one looks down on me for learning it. I don't know if I'll be able to handle my minds paranoia. It gets like this sometimes with things. . . lots of things. I can't do. 

Day 229 NP 192 Np 183 Med 168 NF 68

Positives: still nofapping, trying to do harm reduction with desert and seeing clients again.

Last night I had sex dreams. But I still stuck to nofap even though I was aroused. Even in the dream I was like, I don't masturbate. It's a struggle for me to stay with nofap. But I think it's worth it and it's the best thing for me to do. I feel much more capable of living a productive life without fap. I'm trying to go for ice cream every other day instead of everyday. Harm reduction. Yeah. It'll work. I dunno. It's just kind of hard to quit desert completely when my mom's always buying and eating it. I don't really know if I completely want to commit to quit. Gonna reduce for now though. Seeing some clients today. This is the only day I have scheduled to see anyone. It's kind of nice and good in a way to be seeing them again. It feels good to work sometimes. Go and be around other people. Do something helpful for someone else. It's good for ya. Hopefully my neck holds up okay.

Life: I have no idea how long my neck's going to hurt . What the heck. My mom laughs at my injury of course. But it's lingered for a long time now. Seems like coming up on two weeks now. I tried to find an asian show for us to watch, but no luck so far. I'll keep trying. Not giving up just yet on asian tv shows on Netflix. 

I smiled at the morning

I accomplished getting out of bed somewhat close to my alarm time

I am grateful for mornings, poetry, alarms, phones, moms, life, love, kindness, god, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit.

God bless

Erik

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Day 230 NP 193 Np 184 Med 169 NF 69

Positives: exercising, sleeping and neck. 

I've been exercising everyday pretty much. Yesterday I was super tired after work and didn't exercise, but that's a rarity. I'm trying to finish bible reading and GQ posting right after breakfast so I have time to workout in the morning after. I'm just trying to get the essentials done as early as possible. I think of posting on here as an essential thing because it keeps me clean off gaming. I've been sleeping okay. I sleep a lot, but at least I feel well rested sometimes. I had a dream three people were attacking me and my jiu jitsu wasn't working because there were too many. I woke up being like, 'Gotta punch em'. Haha. Good morning. My neck's not hurting so much anymore. Yay! I'm dedicated to keeping a straight on position for my head from now on as much as possible. 

Life: I've been thinking about Diablo II again. I used to play that a lot as a teenager. I don't think I'm going to play it of course. I just wanted to share that I've had thoughts about that game and dreamt about it. I think it made me feel like I was doing something productive. Even though paradoxically gaming is unproductive for me. I'll try to stay productive and spend some time reading. Less time on screens makes me feel more productive nowadays. 

I smiled at gotta punch em

I accomplished saying good morning to my mom

I am grateful for punching, mom, spinach, turkey bacon, whole wheat bread, pepper jack cheese, eggs, water, organic milk and my yoga mat.

God bless

Erik

Edited by Erik2.0
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On 7/13/2020 at 11:36 PM, Erik2.0 said:

I tried to find an asian show for us to watch, but no luck so far. I'll keep trying. Not giving up just yet on asian tv shows on Netflix. 

Haha! What genre do you like to watch? I'll try to suggest an asian film, specifically, a Filipino one! 🤣

7 hours ago, Erik2.0 said:

I've been thinking about Diablo II again.

Now that you've mentioned it, I'm thinking about it too! Jeez, I remembered the time I introduced it to one of my professors. One day, we both didn't go to class just to finish hell mode! Years after, I told him that Diablo 3 is out. He told me he doesn't want to play again because he was so addicted at D2. Haha!

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@chiliflavor Honestly. I like to watch anime for the most part and it's got to be on Netflix because I don't want to pay for the vrv sub. Other than that maybe comedy, romance or action genres. I officially gave up on finding an asian show to watch lol. Yeah D2 was so addictive. And I always felt bad while playing it. Like just not well. More anxious, less happy and healthy. I know I'm better without it. 

@Phoenixking Haha yeah. That's the way to deal with multiple attackers. Running helps too if you can. 

Day 231 NP 194 Np 185 Med 170 NF 70

On my way to 8 months, mindfulness helped with cravings and went running this morning.

Yeah! 9 more days till 8 months. Oh to be a year clean. I bet it feels good 🙂 . After I practiced mindfulness last night it really helped with my cravings a lot. They pretty much dissipated after that session. I'm reading a book about a girl who went to Thailand and meditated on retreats with monks. They make an hour seem like not that much meditating. Oh, so much meditating. I don't do more than 20 minutes usually. After being inspired by Japan Sinks 2020. I went for a run this morning. It was nice except while I was running I really needed to go to the bathroom. I like barely made it home in time to go. It was pretty uncomfortable. Next time I get the urge while running I will definitely turn back right away. Still running was nice. It reminds me of when I was the #1 mile runner on the track team in middle school. I had a 5:25 mile at age 13. I wish I'd stuck with it and tried to get a scholarship to college for running the mile. I feel like I could've done it because I was naturally gifted at running. Without any training I was #1 in the school for my weight class. I think about my future kids and trying to get them to follow that path. Maybe they can get scholarships. 

I smiled at my mom

I accomplished getting up (hard today)

I am grateful for my mom, getting up, running, sweat, bowel movements, Metamucil, bananas, my old bjj place, Jesus and God.

God bless

Erik

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28 minutes ago, Erik2.0 said:

I know I'm better without it. 

Nice to hear about that! I wish I'm mindful like you. It's one of my problems these past few days. I can't seem to focus.

29 minutes ago, Erik2.0 said:

I feel like I could've done it because I was naturally gifted at running.

Good for you! I hate jogging/running because I'm a couch potato. Haha! But now that I've quit gaming, I'm planning to run some time soon, if this quarantine eases. 

32 minutes ago, Erik2.0 said:

Other than that maybe comedy, romance or action genres. I officially gave up on finding an asian show to watch lol.

Damn, I was gonna suggest a famous romance movie here in the Philippines but it isn't on netflix. It's ironic that its sequel is available lmao. 🤣

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@chiliflavor maybe you can be more mindful too. I learned from the book mindfulness in plain English. And various other sources. Now I just wake up and practice. I dunno if I’ll keep running but I kind of hope so. I want to cardio health and less fat. Too bad that movies not on Netflix. I’m kind of tired of searching for shows right now hehe. 
 

Day 232 NP 195 Np 186 Med 171 NF 71

positives: in good health, doing errands and making friends 

After rolling bricks around in a wheelbarrow I realize I’m in pretty good shape. I don’t have any major injuries and am overall in good health . So I’m glad for that. I helped my mom collect bricks from a craigslist person. It was nice to get out and do something even if it’s an errand. We’re at our new neighbors house now about to eat lunch with them. The old man doesn’t speak English but his daughter who is closer to my moms age does. It’s nice when one of the Chinese people speak English with me. 
 

life ah I got a poetry book that has swears in it. Otherwise it’s a good and well reviewed book. I may try to finish it despite the swearing. 
 

I smiled at bricks 

I accomplished moving bricks

i am grateful for the day, air, water, clothing food shelter bricks moving settling and cleanliness

God bless

Erik

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Day 233 NP 196 Np 187 Med 172 NF 72

Positives: finished frm meeting today, supervision and still have a job. 

The meeting for my client went about as well as I could hope. We're seeing if they can use private insurance to keep seeing me. Hopefully affordably. It's always a little tough sitting through those meetings with a bunch of older people talking about what needs to be done for a client to get better. So I'm glad I got through it. Supervision went well too. They gave me a bunch of things to do with clients so I can have something more interesting to share at supervision than 'we did mindfulness' and gratitude journaling. Gotta do something to appease the supervisor. It's good to still have a job. My hours may dwindle, but at least I'm still employed. 

Life: I'm having some issues with constipation right now. It's kind of painful. I hope it gets better soon. I'm taking more Metamucil now and talking to my doctor about it.

I smiled at my client

I accomplished getting through meetings

I am grateful for my client, meetings, ankle, pain in left ankle, constipation, doctor, ow pain, poetry, writing, and Jesus.

God bless

Erik

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