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Intro: Older gamer seeking friends and support


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Hey ? 

My story is too long to post but will try to sum it up...

Been gaming since the late 80s. Grew up as an indoor kid with few friends. Never really got good at being social. Anxiety kept me with some bad communication habits I've yet to outgrow completely. I have unpopular beliefs and distrust a lot of popular narratives I see other people buy into. 

Never learning valuable skills has lead to few career opportunities. My work doesn't pay well relative to where I live.

I have a lot of debt and little ability to save based on mandatory expenses and the region I grew up in turned into the most expensive regions in the US.

I quit gaming the first time 17 years ago. For a few months. Nothing really changed and eventually I missed the experiences too much. 

With my debt I've gotten involved in horrible roommate situations. I haven't been able to afford my own place for 10 years. I've been on a few dates but usually once a woman really gets to know me she's done.

As bleak as all that sounds... I've been working hard the last few years and have some positive habits. Taking much better care of myself I've lost 55lbs and exercise daily. Two years ago I got into one of the only relatively stable living situation. It's a cluttered crowded small house but at least there is no drama.

I've been considering cutting back on gaming because I'm going back to college in two months. I've lost a lot of friends because they're too busy with their own families. It's a struggle to get anyone to open up to me. I try hard to listen but have a hard time asking insightful questions and noticing all the social queues most people do.

My biggest passions outside of gaming (favorite form of storytelling) are alternative rock and metal music, animated, sketch, stand up and improv comedy. I've signed up for an improv workshop for next month but classes are out of my budget if it's not covered by an educational loan ?

 

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Hey man, I think its commendable that you're doing all of this to better yourself and your situation. I'm similar to you in the fact that I hold different beliefs than others, and for the longest time that caused me to not be as good at socializing as I would like. But here's the thing, you don't need to change your beliefs to get along with others. At the end of the day, we're all just a bunch people, on a big rock, in the middle of nowhere, attempting to make it through life. In the grand scheme of things, beliefs really do not matter. What does matter, is how you conduct yourself with others. If you're respectful to others, they'll see that. Granted some probably won't, but that's not in your control. At this point in time, focus on making yourself feel good about being you. Explore your interests, and enjoy yourself. Anyway, I wish you luck on everything you're doing!

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@JPM_SH5

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I've gained a lot of extra time since getting out of mobile gaming. It's been fun having extra time. Its still early but seems like it was the right thing to do.

I actually thought I would miss it more. Still have plenty of other habits I'm targeting with my weekends. Just trying to put myself in a better position a little bit at a time.

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