hello i am a noob irl

[nielsbrg]

Hey, I'm Niels. I am 25 years old, from the Netherlands and I work fulltime as a programmer. 

I've been playing video games for as long as I can remember. I thought this was my passion, but really I've discovered it was a way for me to get away from social situations (i have pretty bad social anxiety) among other things. I've missed out on so many experiences in my life, it's really sad when I think about it. For the past few years I have felt apathetic towards gaming. I feel like todays games just aren't that good anymore, why bother? Over time I've basically replaced gaming with binge watching youtube and twitch. I took 4 weeks off work to find out what I want to do and now that it's the end I still have no clue. I started playing WoW Classic to fill the time, but I just don't feel anything for it anymore (like it was in 2005) and I feel like it has no meaning. I don't know what's going on, I was addicted to wow back then (runescape before that lol). I feel lost, without purpose. Literally everything I do is boring and I have no motivation for anything.

Usually when I come home from my job, I don't know what to do so I just watch stream highlights to get some laughs. On the weekends I am bored out of my mind. I can't seem to find anything worth doing. I hope I haven't completely destroyed my brain and that it's possible to create a new life for myself. The boredom is leaving me unfulfilled and feeling like my life has no meaning outside of work. Sometimes I wonder if this is all there is to life, but then I see other people really enjoying simple things like going out for a walk. "Just go outside and have fun!". Imagine needing a manual for how to have fun in real life, feels bad. I went for a 30 min walk yesterday in the park and it was the most boring thing. I went to the zoo with my dad and it was boring. I've already tried drawing (gave up after 1 week), music production for 4 years (fun for a while but lost interest).I'm looking for something that I'd actually do long term.

Good luck to everyone who is trying to quit gaming. Make sure you have something to replace it with or be lost like me lol

Edited September 21, 2019 by nielsbrg

[CornishGameHen]

Hello, thank you for sharing.  I too have social anxiety.  It took me a long time to forge an acceptable social mask that I use to hide my disorder.  Most people would not believe it if I told them.  Only close family and one friend knows about it.

Your boredom could be a case of dopamine reuptake disruption.  All the video gaming (even the WoW gaming you did on your 4 weeks off), could have impaired your 'feel good' chemical levels.  So, don't blame yourself entirely.  Video games do that to people who are addicted.  And Cam mentioned that it could take longer for people to recover, which is more than three months of gaming abstinence.

As for the social anxiety, it's easier said than done to recommend you join a sports group of some sort.  It helped me in my past.  I joined all sorts of groups like running, kayaking, indoor rock climbing, and even dragon boat racing.  I met a lot of nice people.  Unfortunately, friendships didn't carry over after the sport season ended.  I think it was my lack of reaching out too, which put the nail on the coffin.  I haven't joined any sports group recently because I have no interest or energy.  I've noticed I do a lot of solitary things like hiking, so I might join a hiking group soon while the weather is still nice. 

So, that's the true test.  It's about putting yourself out there in social situations, getting people's phone numbers so you can hang out, and continuing to nurture those relationships by phone calls, texts, whatever.

I'm not an expert.  But this is what I must do to cultivate a social circle.  And I am starting from ground zero, the very beginning.  Don't lose heart.  You are not alone in this struggle, and it doesn't mean you are less of a person either.  You have the desire for social interaction, and that's a healthy start to your journey. 

Take care, and hope to hear more about your steps towards a better life. 

Edited October 14, 2019 by CornishGameHen