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Icandothis journal


Icandothis

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I have an infection. It is really hard for me to find joy when I am physically in pain. 
 

I really believe the double rainbow was a sign, that God is here and he has not forgotten about me or us. 
 

Genesis 9:14 Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and a rainbow appears in the cloud. I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind.

 

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26 minutes ago, Icandothis said:

Today is 10 months game free. I am so thankful. 
 

Blackberries are here. 

Congrats on 10months!

There are  many blackberry bushes in my area too! I am kinda reluctant eating them, because every other tastes like those stinky bugs 😄 I usually check them carefully before eathing, but apparently they're well hidden or simply left their stinkiness onto precious berries that I consume. Nonetheless I still love them, just have to blow them real good before eating hehe 

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On 7/18/2020 at 6:27 PM, Icandothis said:

I have an infection. It is really hard for me to find joy when I am physically in pain. 

Oh no! I hope you heal soon... You're really making amazing strides considering your situation. I keep rooting for you! I'm impressed that you're able to focus on so many positive things. I really hope the best for you...

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1 hour ago, Phoenixking said:

Oh no! I hope you heal soon... You're really making amazing strides considering your situation. I keep rooting for you! I'm impressed that you're able to focus on so many positive things. I really hope the best for you...

Thank you friend. Your continuous support means so much to me 

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1 hour ago, Erik2.0 said:

Congrats on 10 months. That Genesis quote was awesome. I didn't know rainbows had that significance. 

Yes. I learned that from a study on our covenant God. I broke down crying when I saw the second rainbow appear. 
 

Thank you for being here. 

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22 hours ago, Icandothis said:

Today is 10 months game free. I am so thankful. 
 

Blackberries are here. 

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Congratulations on 10 months. I hope you're proud of yourself and I hope you're feeling good today. I hope you are continued to be surrounded by love and warmth during this tough time. Keep shining on forward.

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I am sitting in the parking lot waiting for doctors appointment who will hopefully address this new infection. It’s so hard taking chemo, because it suppresses my immune system.... leaving me at risk for so many other things. 
 

I am so thankful for this community. I am so thankful to live by a protected forested area that has trails, wildlife, flowers. The park is located across the street from where I live, so I try to make it there every day. This is where all my pictures come from. 
 

This is an elderberry flower. It smells really  beautiful, and there is a tea that can be made from it as well. 
 

 

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1 minute ago, Icandothis said:

I am sitting in the parking lot waiting for doctors appointment who will hopefully address this new infection. It’s so hard taking chemo, because it suppresses my immune system.... leaving me at risk for so many other things. 
 

I am so thankful for this community. I am so thankful to live by a protected forested area that has trails, wildlife, flowers. The park is located across the street from where I live, so I try to make it there every day. This is where all my pictures come from. 
 

This is an elderberry flower. It smells really  beautiful, and there is a tea that can be made from it as well. 
 

 

0E25CFAA-0456-40A1-9F55-D6758ECBD4DE.jpeg

Sending you lots of love and luck today for your appointment. 

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7 minutes ago, BooksandTrees said:

Congratulations on 10 months. I hope you're proud of yourself and I hope you're feeling good today. I hope you are continued to be surrounded by love and warmth during this tough time. Keep shining on forward.

Thank you for the loving intention. 
 

Your continuous encouragement, light and compassion means so much to me. 
 

Have a beautiful day 

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6 minutes ago, Icandothis said:

Thank you for the loving intention. 
 

Your continuous encouragement, light and compassion means so much to me. 
 

Have a beautiful day 

You deserve it and I'll keep supporting you the entire way! That's a promise. I'm so proud of you for showing such incredible strength and composure throughout this treatment and your quest for yourself in life. You've shown me how to smile more and be happier in life since you've been here and it means a lot to me.

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I'm glad you live next to a park. That sounds really nice. I'm next to a park too with a bunch of soccer fields. I went running there the other day. I really hope your chemo continues to go well and your infection clears up. It's some serious stuff you're going through, but I pray that there's light at the end of the tunnel for you. That you make it out okay from all this. Sending you love.

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So the doctor had no clue what my symptoms are being caused by. They think it is some time of bacterial infection but it is not easily identifiable. They took a bunch of labs to be run so hopefully get some answers. But today I woke up and I basically had no symptoms? I don’t know, but I am happy today... to basically be pain /nausea/ symptom free. 
 

I am trying to fill the days that are good with joy and love and focus on the present. Not thinking about past or future treatments. It is hard for sure. 
 

I have had to really dig deep into my faith. I respect all religions, spiritualities, beliefs, values. My faith has really been providing so much comfort during this time. 
 

From Psalms: When I am afraid, I will trust in You. 
 

Picture of elderberries. 

FF2156C4-9241-4895-BFEF-95A07DF31E19.jpeg

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25 minutes ago, Icandothis said:

So the doctor had no clue what my symptoms are being caused by. They think it is some time of bacterial infection but it is not easily identifiable. They took a bunch of labs to be run so hopefully get some answers. But today I woke up and I basically had no symptoms? I don’t know, but I am happy today... to basically be pain /nausea/ symptom free. 
 

I am trying to fill the days that are good with joy and love and focus on the present. Not thinking about past or future treatments. It is hard for sure. 
 

I have had to really dig deep into my faith. I respect all religions, spiritualities, beliefs, values. My faith has really been providing so much comfort during this time. 
 

From Psalms: When I am afraid, I will trust in You. 
 

Picture of elderberries. 

FF2156C4-9241-4895-BFEF-95A07DF31E19.jpeg

I'm so happy you're not feeling sick today. Maybe the love and intention you've been receiving has worked? Sometimes a boost in the mind and heart does help. 

I watched a Ted talk about patients who recieved medicine from a warm and gentle nurse vs an automated machine. The dosage was the same, but the patients who saw the nurse said they had less pain and said the medicine worked faster. 

I'm a firm believer in love and compassion so I will continue to send you love and hope for your recovery!

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21 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

I'm so happy you're not feeling sick today. Maybe the love and intention you've been receiving has worked? Sometimes a boost in the mind and heart does help. 

I watched a Ted talk about patients who recieved medicine from a warm and gentle nurse vs an automated machine. The dosage was the same, but the patients who saw the nurse said they had less pain and said the medicine worked faster. 

I'm a firm believer in love and compassion so I will continue to send you love and hope for your recovery!

I truly believe all the love and compassion I receive from this community has supported and held me on this journey. 
 

Every prayer, every kind word and thought... I am just so thankful for.  It really is making a difference for me, which hopefully is translating into better clinical outcomes as well! 

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On 7/15/2020 at 4:09 AM, Phoenixking said:

Living in Belgium, this might not apply to you; but since I struggle with the same thing, I found a great farm that helps out. They raise their pigs and cattle with lots of 'TLC' and the meat is kind of like crowdfunded. What I mean by that is that they only humanely kill the animal when every single part of it has been sold; feet, tail, ears, every single thing. You get a few kilos of food like sausages and other stuff too but because of that system you might have to wait a while before évery part is actually sold. It tastes way better and is more expensive, but my SO and I feel a bit less guilty when eating it knowing that it was raised and killed properly and not a single thing goes to waste. And the flavor, colors and texture are so different. Made us wonder what the fuck they do to meat we buy elsewhere. It's like way more farm-to-table. Maybe there's similar organisations like this where you live? It's possible in any case.

I wanted to get back to this... because I think this a beautiful idea. To honor the animal, and use every part. I will look for organizations/farms like this in my area. 
 

Thank you friend. 

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I went to acupuncture today. After my treatment, my acupuncturist walks in and says....

” You are a beautiful person. You will get through this”

And I broke down in tears. He said the main reason for healing is love.  And I agree. 

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5 hours ago, Icandothis said:

I went to acupuncture today. After my treatment, my acupuncturist walks in and says....

” You are a beautiful person. You will get through this”

And I broke down in tears. He said the main reason for healing is love.  And I agree. 

I am glad you had good acupuncture. That's really kind of him to say that. I'm thinking about you and want you to know you're doing great. Hopefully you continue to progress this weekend. Keep it up!

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