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Icandothis

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2 hours ago, Icandothis said:

Thank you for your post. Yes, I have been told that due to the “me too” and “ times up” movement, things are changing for women. 
 

I live in the Pacific Northwest and many of the companies out here are supposedly very progressive. 
 

The last time I worked was 3 years ago for a healthcare company in Texas. It was extremely toxic. Ironically, everyone in my office was a woman and they were not supportive at all. 
 

Without going into too much detail, I am disabled 2 days of every month due to my moon cycle. FMLA will provide protection, but only if the company is of a certain size. And I have to be an actually employee for a certain number of months. 
 

This was all triggered because I was offered a contract position for a very good wage. I told the recruiter about my disability... and the offer was rescinded. My friend told me I should have just called out sick those days...but the contract said I could be terminated if I did not work the agreed upon hours. 
 

I am frustrated due to lack of awareness, understanding and inclusivity. 
 

Thank you for listening. 

I'm sorry you didn't get the job due to your disability. That does suck. I hope you get a better job that's in a healthy environment. Toxic environments totally do suck. Okay so...

In case you don't already know. A hooku is like a haiku, but with two people. The format is (syllables) Person A: 5-7-5 Person B: 7-7 then you continue for a while. Lets do like 4 or 5 rotations then switch roles and you can start the second round? 

The whole world watches

As my fingers slowly type

Words of art, Kindness

 

Now you write something that's 7-7

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On cold showers. I have completed my 20 day challenge. I am proud of myself for the commitment and courage to finish. 
 

I will continue taking a cold shower following my warm shower as this is very easy to do and does not take a lot of time. 

But most of all I kept a promise I made to myself. 

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In reflection:

I have spent years numbing and hiding. As I now show up into the world, I am noticing myself getting angry at people. 
 

This anger comes from within. 
 

My new commitment is to ground myself every morning in peace and stillness. 
 

During the day I will practice self awareness and compassion.  This picture is a brief summary that helps me. 
 

Thank you for listening. 

683E5E23-ADB9-4B6C-A6C6-5F0C7149B57D.jpeg

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4 hours ago, Icandothis said:

In reflection:

I have spent years numbing and hiding. As I now show up into the world, I am noticing myself getting angry at people. 
 

This anger comes from within. 
 

My new commitment is to ground myself every morning in peace and stillness. 
 

During the day I will practice self awareness and compassion.  This picture is a brief summary that helps me. 
 

Thank you for listening. 

683E5E23-ADB9-4B6C-A6C6-5F0C7149B57D.jpeg

Hello, looks like you have some good spiritual practice that you're working on here. It makes sense that after quitting games there would be feelings of anger that come up. I think we were all masking something under the heavy game use. Good luck dealing with the uncomfortable feelings as you move towards greater wholeness.

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Hi-

 

Well awesome. The corona virus is at the schools here. It’s big and scary... and puts everything to the test. 
 

Also, I have been meaning to write this... so now is as good a time as any... I put my faith in God and trust and surrender. Only by being grounded do I feel like I can face mountains. 
 

So I have been getting frustrated lately. And angry. Why is everything taking so long. And then I realize the timing of everything. I started gaming when my first two kiddos started school. I played pretty much constantly until I got pregnant with my baby. When I found out I was pregnant, I cut way back. But still played all the way thru his birth and then young infant stage. 
 

It’s actually pretty amazing how much babies sleep. Anyways when I joined GQ, my baby was leaving his infant stage and begging to walk everywhere. I quite literally did not have time to game anymore.

 

I am so thankful I embarked upon this journey when I did as now, I am chasing around my energizer bunny toddler. My days are so full. Getting up early in the morning to make breakfast and lunches. Sending 2 older ones off to school. Preparing breakfast for my little. And then off to our morning outing. 
 

Then lunch and then getting him down for a nap. Then it’s light cleaning and chores. ***I have only about 30 minutes to focus on career related items****. 
 

My older 2 get home at 2pm. Snack time and holding space for them. Quality time and asking about their day. Little one gets up, afternoon activity. Dinner, homework, showers.  Then the nighttime routine for all 3 of them. 
 

So even though it looks like I am not moving forward.... my days are filled with joy and love. This is going to be a journey for me... and I am determined not to rush.. but let it all unfold. 
 

And after my months job search, my intuition is telling me that my path is towards the healing modalities. Massage, energy medicine, acupuncture, sound therapy. This is what makes my soul feel alive and what I believe my calling is. 
 

Thank you much for listening my friends. 

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19 hours ago, Icandothis said:

Hi-

 

Well awesome. The corona virus is at the schools here. It’s big and scary... and puts everything to the test. 
 

Also, I have been meaning to write this... so now is as good a time as any... I put my faith in God and trust and surrender. Only by being grounded do I feel like I can face mountains. 
 

So I have been getting frustrated lately. And angry. Why is everything taking so long. And then I realize the timing of everything. I started gaming when my first two kiddos started school. I played pretty much constantly until I got pregnant with my baby. When I found out I was pregnant, I cut way back. But still played all the way thru his birth and then young infant stage. 
 

It’s actually pretty amazing how much babies sleep. Anyways when I joined GQ, my baby was leaving his infant stage and begging to walk everywhere. I quite literally did not have time to game anymore.

 

I am so thankful I embarked upon this journey when I did as now, I am chasing around my energizer bunny toddler. My days are so full. Getting up early in the morning to make breakfast and lunches. Sending 2 older ones off to school. Preparing breakfast for my little. And then off to our morning outing. 
 

Then lunch and then getting him down for a nap. Then it’s light cleaning and chores. ***I have only about 30 minutes to focus on career related items****. 
 

My older 2 get home at 2pm. Snack time and holding space for them. Quality time and asking about their day. Little one gets up, afternoon activity. Dinner, homework, showers.  Then the nighttime routine for all 3 of them. 
 

So even though it looks like I am not moving forward.... my days are filled with joy and love. This is going to be a journey for me... and I am determined not to rush.. but let it all unfold. 
 

And after my months job search, my intuition is telling me that my path is towards the healing modalities. Massage, energy medicine, acupuncture, sound therapy. This is what makes my soul feel alive and what I believe my calling is. 
 

Thank you much for listening my friends. 

This is a great post. Maybe you can find a way to help people in abusive relationships or children in bad situations. It's not high paying, but it's rewarding and you might be able to infuse yoga, guided meditation, and reiki with it.

You can express yourself, heal people, feel better, and connect with others. 

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@Icandothis I say if you're heart is in it and it's realistic then go for it. The interests you listed are realistic things to do to make a living. Coming from someone who is a counselor. I can attest that the helping professions aren't as high paying as tech or business. But if it's what you're meant to do then those other fields probably wouldn't workout for you anyway so do what you're called to.

Edited by Erik2.0
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4 hours ago, Icandothis said:

I went to therapy today. I cried. It’s so important to have a safe place to fully be seen, heard and express ourselves. 


We don’t heal in isolation; we heal in community. 
 

Have a beautiful day my friends. 

This forum has helped me a lot to get my life together too. Thanks for posting.

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It's situational 

On 2/25/2020 at 5:01 PM, Icandothis said:

Thank you for your post. Yes, I have been told that due to the “me too” and “ times up” movement, things are changing for women. 
 

I live in the Pacific Northwest and many of the companies out here are supposedly very progressive. 
 

The last time I worked was 3 years ago for a healthcare company in Texas. It was extremely toxic. Ironically, everyone in my office was a woman and they were not supportive at all. 
 

Without going into too much detail, I am disabled 2 days of every month due to my moon cycle. FMLA will provide protection, but only if the company is of a certain size. And I have to be an actually employee for a certain number of months. 
 

This was all triggered because I was offered a contract position for a very good wage. I told the recruiter about my disability... and the offer was rescinded. My friend told me I should have just called out sick those days...but the contract said I could be terminated if I did not work the agreed upon hours. 
 

I am frustrated due to lack of awareness, understanding and inclusivity. 
 

Thank you for listening. 

It's situational but for the most part women aren't treated as well as men in the workforce. Of course there are exceptions but it's not the rule. A lot of guys are also just oblivious to what goes on around them. I work in the public sector so it's more "fair" because nobody can make more money or have more privileges than anybody else because of the unions. I still have a huge advantage over the women I work with though, even while I'm only one of 4 men here in an office of 200 people. I get virtually every promotion I apply for, am granted excessive leeway because I'm considered more intelligent and hard-working (I am, but that's not because of sex, it's because I'm awesome XD), and so on.

We all have allegorical stories supporting and disproving the claim but you can't argue against statistical facts. It's getting better quickly so I think that's important to remember. Women make 98 cents to every dollar a man makes in 2019 so we're right there lol. But that doesn't say anything about sexual harassment and all that... and like you said a lot of the time even the women are the ones doing the sexual harassment and discrimination against one another. As I mentioned I'm one of 4 men in my office so it's mostly women who are treating me better than women.

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7 hours ago, ceponatia said:

statistical facts.

Could you elaborate those "facts"? Statistics are a weird animal. Is this an average value? Those 98 cents? It probably is. But we often tend to go to extremes with certain "facts" and ignore other things. For instance, I heard about a statistic that man are more risky. This leads to the fact that they are more often in jail, but also more willing to become entrepreneurs and build their own company. Therefore, many more men are the head of a company. I am not saying, what you are saying is wrong, but be careful with "facts". At the end of the day, job opportunities should be based on skill, not on gender. I hope we get their eventually and that some feminists don't turn the debate into the other extreme. 

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35 minutes ago, Alexanderle said:

Could you elaborate those "facts"? Statistics are a weird animal. Is this an average value? Those 98 cents? It probably is. But we often tend to go to extremes with certain "facts" and ignore other things. For instance, I heard about a statistic that man are more risky. This leads to the fact that they are more often in jail, but also more willing to become entrepreneurs and build their own company. Therefore, many more men are the head of a company. I am not saying, what you are saying is wrong, but be careful with "facts". At the end of the day, job opportunities should be based on skill, not on gender. I hope we get their eventually and that some feminists don't turn the debate into the other extreme. 

There are of course thousands of factors, exceptions, outliers, and so on. That's why we use statistics, to get a broad picture of deep problems. The pay gap is not really a problem about wages, it's about how people are treated in western societies. It's of course true that women choose to go into industries that pay less than the top male dominated industries but a lot of evidence suggests this is due to how women are socialized and educated at young ages. There's also the theory that if all things are equal women will still choose to be nurses, teachers, and so on. Who knows. It is, still, a fact that when you average the wages of men and women, women make less (this figure also only accounts for working women; a lot of people who don't like this statistic use the excuse that a lot of women are stay at home parents so it throws off the number. this is not the case as those women aren't counted).

I agree that merit is much more important than some cloudy vision of equality that nobody can agree upon, but that's not the world we live in right now (and probably never will be if history is any example), so I look to the next best thing.

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2 hours ago, Alexanderle said:

Could you elaborate those "facts"? Statistics are a weird animal. Is this an average value? Those 98 cents? It probably is. But we often tend to go to extremes with certain "facts" and ignore other things. For instance, I heard about a statistic that man are more risky. This leads to the fact that they are more often in jail, but also more willing to become entrepreneurs and build their own company. Therefore, many more men are the head of a company. I am not saying, what you are saying is wrong, but be careful with "facts". At the end of the day, job opportunities should be based on skill, not on gender. I hope we get their eventually and that some feminists don't turn the debate into the other extreme. 

 

1 hour ago, ceponatia said:

There are of course thousands of factors, exceptions, outliers, and so on. That's why we use statistics, to get a broad picture of deep problems. The pay gap is not really a problem about wages, it's about how people are treated in western societies. It's of course true that women choose to go into industries that pay less than the top male dominated industries but a lot of evidence suggests this is due to how women are socialized and educated at young ages. There's also the theory that if all things are equal women will still choose to be nurses, teachers, and so on. Who knows. It is, still, a fact that when you average the wages of men and women, women make less (this figure also only accounts for working women; a lot of people who don't like this statistic use the excuse that a lot of women are stay at home parents so it throws off the number. this is not the case as those women aren't counted).

I agree that merit is much more important than some cloudy vision of equality that nobody can agree upon, but that's not the world we live in right now (and probably never will be if history is any example), so I look to the next best thing.

I like the discussion and I agree with both of you.

I want to do my bachelor's thesis on the development of university education in the past several decades. It's interesting to see that in my country, as for data from 2011, the male vs. female uni educated population is about 7 to 10 in ages 25-29, while it was equal for people 10 years older than that.

It could be the comparative risk-avoidance of females to males (uni graduates won't do poorly money-wise), it could be that the standardized education system favors feminine qualities (not stirring up ruckus and avoiding open conflict), it could be that males have more time to "grow up" (men don't have menopause)... a ton of factors to consider and there's no easy answer.

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Very quiet this morning.  Yesterday, I was in the middle of writing a long post when my son woke up... so I deleted it. 
 

This morning, I actually for a minute forgot what I wrote. Thoughts change, emotions are temporary. 
 

I have been turning inward, turning in, really listening to my body, God, and highest self.

 

Psalm 56:3 - when I am afraid I put my trust in you. 
 

Thank you for being here. 

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  • 3 weeks later...

I don’t know what to say...

 

This past week and a half has turned my world upside down. A devastating diagnosis, fear, deep depression and sadness. 
 

Of all the dreams I had written about in my journal, I never thought my journey would take me here. I will be starting my own blog over at the American Cancer Society. From my brief preview they have chats and posting just like here. 
 

My whole world has cracked open again. But I am deeply reminded of the legacy I want to leave on this earth. The prayer of the Bodhisattva; to help ease suffering of all sentient beings.

 

As had been said to me by so many doctors, nurses, medical staff, volunteers and friends.... “ there are no words...”

 

Thank you deeply for listening. I hope you have some joy today. 

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17 hours ago, Icandothis said:

A devastating diagnosis

17 hours ago, Icandothis said:

But I am deeply reminded of the legacy I want to leave on this earth.

17 hours ago, Icandothis said:

American Cancer Society

 

If I'm putting the puzzle pieces together correctly, which I hope I'm not, then I'm deeply sorry about the diagnosis you received. I don't know how much time you have, but I will say that I am very happy to have been connected with you in our community. You've been a real nice source of positivity and warmth to every member of the community since you've joined. You have shown a tremendous amount of strength and determination to overcome a serious addiction and made extreme efforts to fix your life not just for you, but for your children as well. I think you've helped many of us improve our quality of life and that is something that lives on forever as it guides us throughout our lives and we teach it to others along the way.

I know I can be a very negative person and sometimes downright dark when I'm stuck in my head. I enjoy your mantra of kindness, love, and patience.

Will you have a link to your new journal?

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11 hours ago, BooksandTrees said:

You've been a real nice source of positivity and warmth to every member of the community since you've joined. You have shown a tremendous amount of strength and determination to overcome a serious addiction and made extreme efforts to fix your life not just for you, but for your children as well. I think you've helped many of us improve our quality of life and that is something that lives on forever as it guides us throughout our lives and we teach it to others along the way.

I agree 100% with @BooksandTrees. I always like the positive/poetic/surreal tone of your messages.

I hope you will be able to turn this grave diagnosis into another source of energy and motivation to continue making improvements in your life. We have to hope that this disease in your physical body is just a delayed reminder that your previous lifestyle caused you a lot of unnecessary pain and suffering.

Keep up the fight.

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Hi!

 

Thank you to everyone for your replies. It means the world to me... it really does. 
 

I have updated my photo so you can actually see my face.... hi!! And it reminds me of all the absolutely beautiful adventures in my life. 
 

When I get around to posting over on the American Cancer Society, I will try and post a link.  I’m still in denial.... I don’t want to have cancer 🙁

 

There is so much up in the air.... sigh. I am deeply grateful for this community and for everyone of you. Talk soon my friends. Wishing you the most beautiful day. 💙

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43 minutes ago, Icandothis said:

Hi!

 

Thank you to everyone for your replies. It means the world to me... it really does. 
 

I have updated my photo so you can actually see my face.... hi!! And it reminds me of all the absolutely beautiful adventures in my life. 
 

When I get around to posting over on the American Cancer Society, I will try and post a link.  I’m still in denial.... I don’t want to have cancer 🙁

 

There is so much up in the air.... sigh. I am deeply grateful for this community and for everyone of you. Talk soon my friends. Wishing you the most beautiful day. 💙

We've got your back through this and hope to give you strength during this journey. Beautiful picture much like your energy. Thank you for sharing. 

I hope I can help support you on your journey and when you post your blog. 

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