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Gaming the System 005 - The Link Between Gaming and Depression

Roste1

I'm an addict, and I need to quit

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The first time I saw Cam's TED talk on game addiction, was also the first time I heard someone use the label "addict" for compulsive and excessive gaming. It immediately resonated, and I want to send a BIG thank you to Cam for having the courage and drive to put yourself out there, share your story, and create a community where other addicts can find help. 

Now, this was 2017 ... and I'm still an addict. 

I watched the movies (some), got my copy of Respawn, deleted my games, and stopped gaming ... for a couple weeks ... and then relapsed. Relapsed during summer vacation "because now it's ok", relapsed during business trips "cause what else can I do here", relapsed late evenings "to take a brake from working", relapsed during weekends on when I was home alone because "I feel alone", relapsed because of extreme cravings, relapsed because "I have it under control now and will stop in 30 minutes", ... if you are on this forum you will recognise these excuses. There was not a single relapse that did not end in a total 4AM game binge, and every time I fooled myself I would have it under control and would not get back in bad habits. 

The ONE thing I didn't do in my two years of on & off quitting and relapsing, is actually come out in public (this Forum is public enough for me) and make the statement "I am an addict", nor start the journal, "because I don't need that" ... 

Well it's time I stop fooling myself and just face my demons, look in the mirror and state honestly : I am an addict, and I need help. 

I'm starting my 90 days (again) today, and my goal is to quit forever, fully accepting that for me "one is too many, and a thousand is not enough". My brain needs healing from the years of dopamine abuse, and I know it will be a long and hard road, but I'm willing to do the work now.

Roste

 

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