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Adminiculum

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Hello,

my username is ‚Adminiculum‘ which means ‚support‘ in English. Support is the thing that I search here.

I am a medicial Student who has Problems with his Internet consumption in general. A year ago I had a major Problem with League of Legends. Thanks god that I get rid of this game. Currently I have not a big Gaming Problem, I am just playing some mini Games from time to time. What I want to get rid of is my YouTube/Surfing consumption. 

 

While I am writing this I am thinking whether I even have a problem for which I need help or I am just having a bad day and I want  to be a Perfect Person again. To underderstand that you have to know, that I had also kind of a problem with watching movies/series etc. those fake storys, fake characters etc gave me a feeling of you could be a perfect person - which is absolutely wrong and thanks god I got rid of this too. No one can be perfect an thats absolutely fine. I cant push every part of my life to the fullest. Thats just true and OK. Its only important to keep trying to improve, doesnt matter whether it works or not. So do I need this journal currently, although i fixed already many things in my life? Man, lets try it, as far as I know it doesnt harm to open a journal(I hope thats true^^)

 

My problem is simple: too much screen. I am a medicial student and so I am daily 5-6hours at my computer to learn stuff. After that I dont want to be at the computer anymore. I want more social contacts which I lack currently of. I could - probably - just stop being at the computer after my work. But I think this is just hard and will not work. Back ago I stopped with series/games when I had an alternative. I started doing actutally work for medic school, did my workout and stuff. Still works. So this sounds all good. But like this i have not much social contacts and i dont feel that good in this way.

 

So my major aim is to do more things with people. I need a time to rest after learning for university and when I sit infront of m computer I am just overfloat my head, although it needs a rest. I feel like I am thinking all the time about stuff I read/watched in the internet. Thats not healthy for myself I feel like. For many people this will sound probably like a good routine learning - sport - chilling. It is way better what I did before ( gaming - youtube - netflix). But I feel not so good. I need the social contact more. I have a great family this helps. But i also need to get in touch with new people because I only had fake friends in my life. Of course I am searching real friendships, but thats not the major goal. I just want people to hang out and do sports together, which not doing 24/7 party and drinking/drugs

Also I want to stop to have this FCKING information overload. Watching a video, checking news, checking forum, checking games etc etc I want to be calm without electronic I want a FRESH dopamin system, which doesnt need 100thibgs to be happy. I know it will be not super easy, but when I dont forbid those things for myself rather I do alternatives which take place over internet time, then it should be possible 

Last but not least I want to be more calm with my med school. I dont want to stress myself although Its extremly much work.

 

After writing this I am already feeling a bit better again. 

Thanks all who read till now!

Edited by Adminiculum
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Hello,

so the last two days my pc consumption was <1h due to some kind of new activity. The classic FOMO is there, basically I think those days are ‚wasted‘ without enjoying a bit of internet. But I already mentioned that in my start post. The dopamin system needs a fresh restart. Its like drinking a lot of coca cola, so natural water or drinks with less sugar taste tasteless. 

However I am bit more at my phone. Checking Worldnews etc. thats ok. I had the last two days a learning break, I want to start again tomorrow or so(not sure). Its probably even harder to stay away from the thing I get usually pretty easy dopamin push(PC) when I had a tough day. 

 

But I will see.. Like I mentioned I need first some new activitys I can do permanently in the next months, so I dont miss watching youtube etc Otherwise it is pointless and will result in a relapse. So I am searching something in this way, maybe joining a sport club so i can meet new people. 

 

 

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Lately I have some trouble to stay focused while learning for med school. Normally I get tired while learning, but I can still go on pretty well. Yea but currently its harder, not so concentrated etc. -> sucks, but the show must go on

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On 8/9/2019 at 11:24 AM, Adminiculum said:

Currently I have not a big Gaming Problem, I am just playing some mini Games from time to time. What I want to get rid of is my YouTube/Surfing consumption. 

My problem is simple: too much screen. I am a medicial student and so I am daily 5-6hours at my computer to learn stuff. After that I dont want to be at the computer anymore.

Hey! First of all, big props to being a med student. I respect that so much man!

I'm with you and your problems. I haven't actually had a heavy gaming problem in the last few years. I used to play an insane amount of League and Smash Brothers Melee, but quit league like 4 years ago and cut melee out significantly. However, after quitting league I discovered the world of Twitch, youtube gaming channels, and gaming social media following on twitter. I quit gaming for the most part, but began to binge watch gaming content for insane amount of hours each day. I thought I was moving forward by cutting gaming and didn't draw the correlation between gaming itself and watching gaming content for a while. I think it's even possible to argue binge watching gaming content could be worse for you than gaming itself.

I'm currently studying Computer Science, so I can relate to you when you say you spend 5-6 hours a day staring at a computer screen for school related purposes. I too didn't want to be in front of a computer screen after my studies due to eye and mental strain and what felt like isolation from the normal world. The crazy thing is that I got used to it after a while and when you're addicted to gaming and watching gaming content, it just becomes easy to go from studying on your computer straight to those activities. My life became being in front of a screen for 5-6 hours programming or studying, then spending the rest of my time in front of a screen again gaming or watching gaming content.

I'm a month into my detox and the experience feels like it has really, 'refreshed my dopamine' substantially and feels like I've limited myself from that, 'information overload' you'd mentioned. You're not alone man and I hope we can keep it up! You're doing great man! Also, thanks for the comment you made in my journal the other day at a rough time for me. Meant a lot man.

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On 8/17/2019 at 6:49 AM, RB1 said:

 

I'm a month into my detox and the experience feels like it has really, 'refreshed my dopamine' substantially and feels like I've limited myself from that, 'information overload' you'd mentioned. You're not alone man and I hope we can keep it up! You're doing great man! Also, thanks for the comment you made in my journal the other day at a rough time for me. Meant a lot man.

Thanks for your post man 🙂 

I am somehow successful with not being that much in front of my screen, but I somehow feel I have to stop completely. Its like you drink a bit alcohol everyday. Your dopamin system cant restart, it still wants to chill with youtube etc. So most of the other things arent so fun anymore. But I am not sure how to do that

The good thing is that I personally never ever put the internet above real contacts with people. When some friends call me I love to do something with them. Sadly I lost nearly every friend(well I doubt I had a ‚real‘ friend) with the start of med school. And in med school everybody just learn for it. So its hard to get new friends. And this is the point. I think I would feel a lot better with friends. Even just fun-friends not the ‚real‘ ones. I have to see how I get those back

 

RB ill try to follow your journal 🙂

 

Lately learning goes better again, thats good. Yea otherwise not much to say currently. Ill try to post more frequently

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Hey, 

days are filled mostly with work for medical school. Learning currently for physiology and biochemical stuff. But it goes good I think. Just have to keep the pace up

After those mornings/afternoons I spent in the library I feel exhausted and so obviously I want to chill infront of the computer. Thats also the point that I am a bit unsure if reducing online time maybe will lead to lesser efficiency for university stuff because I doesnt ‚rest‘ as usual. It probably will, but just for some days. Then I would be prolly even stronger.

 

Dunno. As long as the med school runs fine and I am healthy, I feel happy. For that I also need again to start some sport and more socialize. Thats important for me.

 

 

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