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JanGamer

New Gamequitter

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Hi Everybody,

I'm 28 years old and been playing games since I remember and apart from substance abuse this has always been probably my strongest "pleasure-trigger". I already quit gaming once for approx. 3 years but anxiety pushed me back into the habit. There is usually a period of not playing games and then once there is strong anxiety present (unemployment, problems at work, financial/legal issues, psychological problems) I fall back on games making everything much worse for myself. I'm not at the bottom or anything and I mostly do have a life but already so much efforts (career, business pojects, so many lost friends because of not getting in touch and all those lost opportunities) ended up being in vain simply because i preferred to lock myself in my apartment and play games instead of trying to do something about my problems. Apart from time spent there is also crippling sense of guilt and low self-esteem after a few days of binge gaming. I'm starting to understand that it's a real addiction as it's hard for me at this moment to imagine the world without games - I sometimes even dream of disconnecting from life altogether just to play computer games. Even when I quit gaming for 3 years I remember I would compulsively imagine myself playing. I wouldn't have a problem with 90 days detox but I dont really know how to avoid falling back into the habit - I've been moving from country to country for the past 8 years to make my life more "interesting" but failures and stress at life, business, work etc. are keep on pushing me into games and alcohol. I think I have an addictive/"totalitarian" personality because without total immersion into what Im doing i just find it uninteresting to the point where it's hard to cope - I've also had periods of alcohol abuse as well as a recent episode of depression and all seem to be related.

My impression is that for "addicts" their addiction is only a symptom of the problem and not the real problem itself - all around me I see people with problems much more serious than mine and some with equally auto-destructive compulsions. I'm really hoping to give some new meaning to my life now - I just quit a job that I really hated and that has been poisoning my life for the past 2 years it makes me wanna slip into gaming again but this time I seem to have enough motivation to fight the urge, that's how I find this website.

Is there people here who managed to build fulfilling lives post-gaming/drug/alcohol abuse? I can imagine that addictions are always present even after many years. I would really wanna hear your stories 🙂 

 

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I just joined today, too. I’m 32 years old and have usually spent 4-8 hours playing PC games and sometimes embarrassingly more than that since the age of 12. 

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