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My Progress Record uwu


LucyInTheSky

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DAY 17:

Only one cousin came over, it was actually a party being thrown for my brother and my cousin happened to come along. I have to make this entry short because there's some shit going down with my computer breaking, but it was really enjoyable. I don't socialise much and I sort of realised it's because other high schoolers are really boring compared to university age people really. But yeah it was great.

Today's slice of happiness:

Marshmellows

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DAY 19\DAY 20:

I have no clue what to write.

I need you guys's help.

Life has gone back to normal and everything is in order so I practically have no reason to keep the journal going, but it was very fun, so I'd like to keep writing. But there's no motivation. Life is completely normal.

Today's slice of happiness:

Warm fires on cold nights

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You seem to be going through the detox pretty swimmingly. I recommend not to lose track though. Stay focused because a craving will hit you when you least expect it. Stay true to you're routine whatever it may be and don't get lazy. I don't know you, and you're reasoning for being on this forum, but maybe you don't have a serious problem. Maybe you're using this as a transitional period to adulthood. Whatever the case, define exacty why you're doing the detox and stay true to it. 

Have a wonderful day?

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DAY 21/22/23:

I have officially lost track of time.

Things are still going alright, which might be what's stopping me from talking here, but today was pretty eventful for a weekend day.

During my walk I decided to venture further than normal. When I reach halfway around the block, instead of circling around it, I went a couple blocks over to this old forest path that comes out the other side of the block. It was a nice, natural, shaded environment. There used to be horses inside a fenced area in the forest when I was a kid, but now they're long gone.

When I came out the other side, there's a small clearing by the road with another small forested area. I remember playing with my brother in that area when I was a kid, and I saw a couple kids playing together there too. Longing, nostalgic feelings overcame me as I set foot there. I ended up going into the forest. There used to be horses there as well, but there aren't anymore. The fenced area still had the tub that the horses would drink from, long dry of any water. I remember feeding those horses with my family.

I've been thinking about that. As I ventured through that forest the song "Strawberry Fields Forever" was playing in my head. The song is about a nursing home where John Lennon (who wrote the song) often played in as a kid, and though it wasn't an actual field of strawberries, being in this natural area with childhood connotations meant I couldn't stop myself from thinking about it. It's a rather excellent song, though I won't say to look it up since I"m pretty sure most people have heard it before.

I'm not sure why I'm talking so much about this. Just very interesting feelings. I remember looking in the forest for goblins and fairies as a kid, but they were never there of course, and now the horses have gone as well, and so has the young child that I once was.

At 17, I am one year away from becoming a legal adult, so this may be why my head is filled with these thoughts of nostalgia. As @Sarma said, this and the moving on from games may be a transition out of childhood. My overall feelings aren't sadness or fear of growing up, but rather warm feelings and appreciation of the value of childhood. Very beautiful thoughts.

I've also made a lot of progress on what is probably my last vapourwave album, will probably share once it's complete.

Today's slice of happiness:

The temporary nature of human life and the beauty of it's fragility

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DAY 24:

Still rather unproductive when it comes to school, bare minimum effort as usual. Did a bit more work on the album. Went on a walk to a new place, with a river. There was a man feeding the ducks, Eastern European judging from his accent. I like ducks, they're cute.

No gaming cravings as of now. Sometimes my mind wanders to gaming, but I would probably only play it if it was with other people, and after the 90 days were finished. It doesn't feel like an urge to play them.

Overall, feeling confident.

Today's slice of happiness:

George Harrison

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DAY 26/DAY 27:

Still nothing to say. Life is normal as it aleays hss been.

If I can sau something, I've been having some nostalgic thoughts for video games I played when I was 12 and 13, particularly Gradius, Touhou, and Sonic. These feelings aren't urges to rrvisit these games but it's kind of interesting. I'm satisfied enough just listening to the music from them to feed my nostalgia, as I accept that it's behind me now.

It feels like I have not been studying enough however. Not sure how to sum it up but I've been doing bare minimum when it comes to school, at least today.

Today's slice of happiness:

Fish

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DAY 28:

School is still slipping away from me, but I'm getting the hang of it again I think. I did a little bit of study at home, which is better than nothing I guess. Dunno.

Tonight I listened to Graduation by Kanye West, first time I ever genuinely listend to hip hop. I like it.

Today's Slice of Happiness:

Being warm

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  • 2 weeks later...

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