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conorshand

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Day 1 (of tens or possibly hundreds of attempted Day 1's) and accompanying post-gym word vomit


I've got "STOP BEING A FUCK" scrawled on my arms in vivid, having woken up at 8pm in the evening after another extended cycle of 16 hour binges with 8 hour interludes for sleep and eating. For the amount of times I've been back to Day 1 I might as well get those words tattooed on to save money on stationary. Though Day 1 is familiar territory, this is the first time I've tried the forum. I find reading other people's stories encouraging, no matter the differences in their circumstances or stage of self-improvement, and intend to engage with other people and be on here regularly. I've already got a written daily affirmations journal (which has a few cobwebs on it), but I'll also be implementing the GQ's program and am open to suggestions from repeat Day 1 offenders as to any helpful bits and pieces which they found success with. 

As is the case with any writing, the hardest part to this is starting. A similarity between this and the actual self-improvement I'm wanting to achieve, is that it's easiest to pack it in on the first sentence of the journal, or first hour of not gaming. Fortunately I'm not graded on this, so it will (at least in its early stages, which I'm hoping will be followed by later stages) likely resemble a word vomit of thoughts. Even if it's only me angrily bashing the keyboard and smearing asdfghjkl across the post, the key is that I hit the "submit topic" button once a day, and if I don't, that I forgive myself for failing. I have no idea whether this will become a tidy affirmations journal or a daily rant, but I do know I need to keep doing it. In the game of habit correction every little bit counts. 

This perfectionism is something I've struggled with historically as I imagine many other repeat visitors to Day 1 do - the all in mentality of having completely followed the program,  or conversely throwing it in the bin as soon as I sleep in for an extra hour and reverting to . To borrow from Game of Thrones, I want need to break this behavioral wheel of initial success, slight and then total failure, and then waiting until the self-hatred and general unpleasantness of living the 16 hour binge life builds to the point warranting change.

My thought process at this stage is usually the same, as it is now: 

  • I am in a place of considerable unpleasantness, what options do I have to change this  
  • Option A: commit Sudoku. Permanent but extreme solution. I'm also not allowed to do this, as my parents and I have agreed that I must talk with them first if I'm to consider this option. (Dead serious, we actually had this conversation.) 
  • If I'm not going to off myself, I might as well make some improvements

From here it's been the usual routine of clean room, wake up earlier, gym and yoga until some hitch hits and the gaming and accompanying lifestyle bleed in little by little until I'm back to square one. I've been back to Day 1 more times than I could count in the last 6 months since finding the program, and it's been at least 5 years since I realized something needed to change. Same train departing the same station, but the difference between this and the first time I realized something needed changing is the knowledge of the various times I've tried with varying results to make such changes. The other difference is my signing on to the forum, which I'm hoping will keep the feeling of momentum going in making such changes and arresting the bad habits before they hit critical mass and the familiar trudge back to Day 1 mentality is needed.

To try avert the pitfalls of the aforementioned perfectionism I'd been using a car analogy, "if the tyre is popped, you change the tyre, rather than throwing out the whole car." I think this applies on a daily basis, but in the big picture doesn't work to the organic long term nature of gaming and what I and many other people are trying to achieve on here. Gaming and the accompanying negative behaviors I'm trying to rid myself of are better described as a cancer (an unfortunate internet/gaming cliche I know). I might improve my sleep cycle, morning routine, exercise habits and a wealth of other things, but there was always be some part of my brain attempting to engineer the regrowth of old less desirable behaviors. You can't just cut out the behavior once and expect it to be permanently fixed. I need to accept this and keep checking in and cutting them out when those behaviors do reappear. Conversely, no matter how many times they do resurface it is essential that I work to cut them out as soon as possible. Little by little they all have some cost which everyone here is all too familiar with. The longer left in the higher this cost becomes. 

I've talked with Cam. I've read the all the GQ materials and various blog posts. I know this can work and I've seen other people's stories where it has. I also know I could find myself back here again. The important thing this time around is building on all the other times rather than walking right back down the all to familiar cycle I've run through far too often. It is my hope that through documenting this and also interacting with people's stories I'll go one or a hundred steps farther than what I have before. 

lessgo boiz

Quick about me: 
23, Uni Student, Hobbies incl: Guitar, DJing, Yoga, Daily Gym (need to do cardio though).  
Looking for (amongst other things): Experiential advice, book or material recommendations (will be downloading the 3 books fawn_xoxo recommended on another post), a general sense of purpose nb: list not exclusive. 

Goals for right now

Decent nights sleep (it's 5am now so as decent as possible), no screen in bed, set alarm and wake up by 2pm (v ambitious). 

Goals for tomorrow
Clean room, remake longer term goals and short term habits to achieve, post again, gym, don't game.

Edited by conorshand
Add slight profile info to post and short term goals
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Found this on another post, wanted to keep it as a mental note for tomorrow: 

A. Throw away gaming rig and all things game related. 

B. Discipline is the key. Discipline Equals Freedom.

C. Make your bed daily, brush your teeth and wash your face, clean your room.(This little step is very crucial) 

D. Love yourself unconditionally

E. Change environment. Put close things which stimulate you to change(text, pictures etc..). Start building your strong version. 

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Wonderful momentum you have found Conor keep on feeding it you can do great! Don't forget to introduce yourself :5_smiley:
https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/forum/5-start-here-introduction/

For your reference to help along the way here is ..
A welcoming statement :230_hatched_chick:
In preparation for a 90 day detox and beyond ..
First move the consoles & games out of sight so it stays out of mind ..
This includes uninstalling them from the computer & devices! ..
Once it is done you can move on from there & a lot easier I might add.

Getting rid of the games for good enabled me to finish the detox strong, consider that.
After that you need to teach yourself how else to spend that free time!
Make sure you are eating healthy, getting daily exercise, & proper sleep ..
NUTRITION - big minefield of controversy I personally am behind a plant-based diet ..
This upcoming documentary backed by Producers Arnold Schwarzenegger & Jackie Chan ..
Check it out ✌️ I won't respond in forum to this topic but you are welcome to message me ..
Find some hobbies to replace the time gained ..

https://gamequitters.com/hobby-tool/
Start some kind of journal with pen & paper, online here, or both! ..
https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/topic/3160-guidelines-templates
https://forum.gamequitters.com/index.php?/forum/11-daily-journals/
Do consider checking out the Respawn program offered here as well ..
For what little cost think about that return on investment! ..

Cross-examine other areas in your life you find consuming your time ..
Excessive consumption is what leads to the time crippling addictions ..
Replace such excessive consumerism by using your free time to create.
Our one life, the time that we have is meant for so much more than feeding addictions ..
You might not identify as an addict and that is fine ..
If you are here for any reason to quit video games that is still a benefit to you
Thank you for signing up and joining our united cause to make the most of our time --
Give this your best and I am sure you will do well :93_punch:
Welcome to the forums!! @conorshand

Neil,  Ex-Gamer Addict,  Gamequitters Member :1602_bicyclist_tone3:
Direct Message Me,  Discord Support Chat

Article: How To Quit Playing Video Games :1517_runner_tone3:
Article: Four Reasons We Played Video Games
Article: Alternative Activities By Game Genre :1582_surfer_tone3:

Article: Why You Should Detox
Find a Video Game Addiction Therapist :1512_walking_tone3:
Download A Gamequitters Podcast
Read A Gamequitters Blog ?

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You have everything you need to achieve the change you want. You know what's the problem and you know how to tackle it. You have access to the resources, the time and, at least broadly, the motivation. Success thus is only a matter of commitment.

The two most important things I've learned through my journey fighting against game addiction are:

  • Do not allow yourself to be bored and idle. Seriously. Have a plan for your day, for your week and for the month, list things you want to achieve or to try, set a schedule and a time for the practice/work, and have backup plans whenever possible. Our addicted brains crave dopamine, which triggers videogame cravings whenever we are bored. And you'll be bored whenever you are idling.
  • Have a purpose for your life. What are the things that move you? What do you care about? Why do you think other people should also care about it? Lay it out, think about it, work on it. Set up something for you to work on (and do the whole shebang: divide it into smaller, attainable tasks, set up deadlines, measure your progress, yadda yadda), something you feel you can have an impact on, something you are passionate about. In the words of Simon Sinek, "find your why". Once you have found it, focus on it. Come back to it from time to time, to reevaluate and update it.

I wish you all the best on your journey. Remember you are not alone in it, do not hesitate to ask for help if you need it.

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