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Erdall

A new path

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Hello there.

My name is Erdall (nope, ain't my real name, and I don't want to reveal it anyway, sorry, xD), and is a pleasure to seek insight and knowledge about how to improve my life around my technological issues for good.

Mine is a simple story of not being satisfied with a certain route I picked, long ago, when I began my college routine. For many, several reasons, I got into Auduovisual Communication, a degree about TV, Radio, journalism and cinema, basically that.

But, once in my life, I wanted to get into studying videogames. Problem: I'm not good drawing stuff and neither about computing. And there were (and still quite so nowdays) barely proper options for me to get into videogames' industry. Anyway, despite being struggling with a degree I quite disliked much, the worst part came when I was, yes, hidding away from my problems through videogames. I often picked few MMOs like WoW itself, because of lacking money (no job, no money, no more videogames, so paying only per month 12'99 €s was the most viable option for me).

Regardless of this, the thing is that ... after I finished with so many struggles in said degree period, it left me as an empty, broken man, with no purpose at all. Many bad things happened during my degree and stuff, making practically the worst period of time of my entire life, but the worst part is that it left me quite heartbroken after such period of time (took me EIGHT years, the DOUBLE of what it would take any normal person to finish said degree).

Anyway, since then, I've been struggling with what to exactly do with my life for almost two years. I've found about this guy named Tai Lopez (and many, many more entrepreneur guys like him), who enlighted me about this world of e-business and stuff like that, which would make me potentially own a business and have my own financial freedom. In the meantime, however, I was in a master degree about 3D / 2D animation, and ... it didn't go well. Definitely tried about drawing stuff, not my thing at all, so I ended up abandoning it.

Nowdays, now I'm in a company doing, what I'd call, 'business practices'. In short, you work for a company for free while, in exchange, they teach you their stuff, like in this case, about computing / coding for videogames. But yet again, a similar mistake like with this master degree I mentioned before: not my thing neither.

I'll return to my native city quite soon (since I'm in a town-like place, far from it), and I don't know what else to do. Before me, there are two simple paths: one, to own a business on my own, or two, trying to get into the videogame industry on my own, as someone who knows A LOT of videogames' fundamentals, theories, ways of making them in a design perspective, and so on (and I repeat, I know like A LOT, I feel like I'm quite talented for this, trust me, I studied so many sources like Extra Credits or Game Maker's Toolkit, many unpopular critics, etc., etc.).

I don't think it won't bother me to quit videogames, but I don't know if for good, 'forever'. Look, if I mentioned I played MMOs quite so (and even recently), is because I definitely abandoned FFXIV, SW:TOR and WoW at all, trust me, I don't mind now to get back into playing more normal videogames, the more offline ones, you know. Specially because of them (the online ones), I couldn't be productive to find even a proper job AFTER I left the animation master degree. It was quite a disaster trip of mine for many reasons. Without being productive at all, nothing good came out of it. Then I picked these business practices I mentioned, and you know the rest ...

BUT, I also have ways and means to get into the videogame industry (perhaps) as a kind of 'investigator'. A person who spent many years researching, studying and investigating the videogames' core in many aspects, so I could quite encourage to create more minded videogames, for purposes going beyond of the mere typical ends of simple entertainment. Ever heard of Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice? Well, that's the direction where I want to go, more or less.

But, I'm not sure if I'd be succesful in such field. Who knows? I'm quite passionate about videogames (what I often dislike is how badly focused they are for fun purposes and barely invested into more useful ways for the people), and maybe such path fits me, or maybe not ... but one thing may be for sure is that I MUST try to quit videogames 'addiction' (or better said "videogame compulsion" is a far better description, to be honest) for good though, so a cleverer answer shall come out from it once I'm done with it. The 90 Day Detox is quite interesting for me, but alas, no money to pay it for now. Sorry.

My path may be unclear in the future for now, but I have one way to get out of this vicious cycle for sure: no videogames for a goddamn, good while.

Sorry for the huge wall of text, but I couldn't find a proper way to express about myself for now. Yikes ...

TL;DR VERSION: I struggled with many things in my past and, for now, I'm not entirely sure what to do at the end of my life: do I try to make my own path into the videogame industry? Or do I just own a business of any kind to make it financially? Who knows, we shall see ... after I'm free from the videogames' compulsion burden.

I desire you the best, though. May you have best of luck!

Sincerely: Erdall.

Edited by Erdall
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On 6/19/2019 at 7:45 AM, Erdall said:

The 90 Day Detox is quite interesting for me, but alas, no money to pay it for now. Sorry.

Hi, thanks for sharing your story. I just wanted to mention that although the respawn program is helpful for motivation and as a reference, money isn't a barrier to entry for the 90 day detox. In essence, the detox program is simply no video games - period - for 90 days. Respawn helps break down this process, particularly by encouraging you to find productive replacements for video games, but I don't believe its necessary for the detox.

Episode 14 https://gamequitters.com/14/ of the gamequitters podcast might be a good place to start.

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