Matthew's Hero's Journey Out of Fantasy

[indyc]

Day One

I have been delaying fully starting this program, playing "Detroit: Become Human" and wasting a ridiculous amount of hours and causing my sleep schedule to become that of a drunkard. Today I got the book printed out and read the first chapter and have completed the worksheets and will continue this process throughout next week. Once the book is concluded, I intend on doing the 90 day detox and getting my life back on the track that it ought to be on. I am worried and scared of failure and relapse, but hopeful for the future and the fulfillment that it may very well bring.

[indyc]

Day Two

Started the second module, but have to get up early and will complete it tomorrow. I am struggling with deleting my video game accounts: I deleted any games installed on my computer, but deleting full accounts (i.e. Steam, SWTOR, etc.) is proving difficult, both because of their value to me (probably mostly emotional) and the difficulty in doing it (I can't find a simple and legitimate way to delete either account). I have not played any video games today, and am grateful for that. There is temptation and nostalgia lingering, especially when stressed and bored, but overall I am doing fine so far.

[ElectroNugget]

Welcome to the forums indyc. 

If deleting the accounts seems like too big a step right now, you can just have a family member change the associated emails and passwords and hold on to them. That way you can't access the accounts without convincing a family member to give them back to you, but they still exist. I did that with my steam account and it's worked out OK. I may delete it in future, but for now it's been enough of a deterrent to keep me away. 

[indyc]

Day 3

Did not do much work on completing the ebook or continuing with the action items, but I have not played video games today, and am infinitely happier because of it. Thank you ElectroNugget for the greeting and for the advice: I may very well take it and I do have a few friends who would be more than happy to do so. I hope for the future.

[indyc]

Day...Let's start over

Although I did not have a relapse, I have not been productive the last week or so, and have not posted to this journal forum in over ten days. That being said, I did have a major breakthrough and decided to write a book, which will occupy much of my time. I finally am making progress again on the modules. I am considering this a new start, one where I will actually do the daily journaling and occupy my time, rather than laying on the coach, watching Frasier, and contemplating why I am not playing video games instead. That "Fill the Void" section was something I really needed to pay attention to, and I am beginning to learn just how much of a void there now is. I will push forward and pray for God's help in this. Thank you everyone for your support!

[indyc]

Day 2

Had a great day today. Got through the fourth module of Respawn and made my calendar for the upcoming weeks. I'm excited to get started tomorrow (which will coincide with me starting my book). I am feeling hopeful and have almost a "love of life" feeling.

"In Him was life, and this life was the light of men. The light shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it." John 1:4

One of my favorite quotes, and a perfect quote to describe my feelings today. May God bless you all!

[indyc]

Day 3

Excellent day today! Finally completed the modules and I feel that I am well on my way to finding a more meaningful life. Now that I've completed the modules, I plan to start writing tomorrow and to learn to alternate mentally engaging activities and resting activities effectively and productively. I am having a blast: thank you Cam and thank you all!

[indyc]

Day 4

The writing has started and progress is being made. I did a little over a thousand words, which may not be much but it certainly makes me proud! For the second day in a row I got up early and went to daily mass and have been much more productive. I am extremely happy about this: this system may actually work!!!!

[indyc]

Day 5

Wrote today: not as much, but still glad to be making progress. Been hitting the gym. Felt exhausted towards the end of the day, which is probably a good thing. It's definitely getting harder, but it's worth it and can be overcome with focus and trust in Him.

Edited July 4, 2019 by indyc

[indyc]

Day 6-11

No I have not been playing video games. I had a couple of rough days last week, but overall I've been good. I got some writing done finally today and yesterday, and I am almost done with the first chapter. Will be heading to the gym soon: I made it to the gym twice last week (not excellent, but good for me). Overall I'm doing great and will try to get some consistency in these journals and my life overall. There have been temptations with gaming, but luckily I have not given into them. I did reinstall Steam on my computer so my brother could play a game, but it is signed in on his account and I do not have access to mine, so I am not too concerned. I still have to send Cam Adair an email for the final action step ?

[conorshand]

20 hours ago, indyc said:

Overall I'm doing great and will try to get some consistency in these journals and my life overall. 

Get that consistency going as soon as you can! If I could pick one missing characteristic that's shot me in the leg with journaling the most in it'd be my failing to be consistent. Super easy to leave to the next day and then it's been a week or a month and it becomes too easy to rationalize not doing it at all. Also slightly hypocritical for me to raise it being my first day on the forums, but it's what I've found with written journaling. Otherwise keep doing what you're doing, whether it's words or habits, it will add up to good things quickly if you keep doing it regularly!