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James Good

It's time to take control

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I'm finally getting round to writing a journal, something that's long overdue.

(By the way, I will be mentioning game names in this journal, so if that's an issue for you just be warned)

I did have a couple of journals early on in my Game Quitters journey, which started roughly 4 or 5 years ago in my second year of university but have always put off doing another one.

I think a part of me thought that I didn't need it. I'd gone 10 months without gaming in the past, I'm beyond gaming, what good is a little journal going to do.

Oh boy was I wrong.

I'm going to be very open in this journal. Whether it's about my past failures, my income, my goals or whatever it might be. I'll aim for it to be every day, though I can't guarantee it. 

It's going to become a document showcasing my journey towards my dream life.

Also, I'll do a little intro to myself in this first post, but from them on it's just going to be focused on my journey.

 

TL;DR: Gaming addicted for 5 years, played on and off, suffered constantly with bouts of depression and eventually, after a 3-week expedition to Canada, I decided to sort myself out and within 9 months I'm earning £30k a year remotely and will soon be moving to Thailand and exploring S.E Asia.

 

I'm not going to go into all of the details of my history with gaming, but I'll list the key points here to give some context:

  • I started gaming when I was 3 or 4, but it was a family occasion and was always special. Games like Ghosts n Goblins, Sonic, Mario 64, Castlevania: SOTN etc
  • Growing up, I spent a ridiculous amount of time with my cousin. Our mums are twins, and we lived fairly close to each other. Whenever we were together we'd just play video games every minute of the day. Most of our time was spent on action RPGs, like Baldurs Gate, Champions of Norrath, Dynasty Warriors, and then progressed into the Elder Scrolls series.
  • I had a great childhood, all things considered. I was active, in the scouts, played music, had loads of friends, and never had any issues apart from being a bit too quiet in school.
  • I never had an issue with gaming until wireless gaming became popular with the Xbox 360 and Call of Duty 4. That game was the Fortnite of my generation. I'd come home, spend 2 hours playing, eat dinner, then play until bedtime. I'd talk about it with all of my friends because literally, everyone played it. I was easily within the top 3 players in my school of 1,000 kids, and I became obsessed with gaming from that point.
  • I somehow managed to get into university to study Nano Physics, but due to all of this free time and lack of authority, I started playing more and more.
  • I got to the point where it was normal for me to play for 32 hours straight (freaking dark souls).
  • I got into self-development in my second year of uni due to, no joke, seeing a Tai Lopez "Here in my garage" advert and deciding to not skip it. Yeah, I know.
  • From then on I became obsessed with the entire of entrepreneurship, passive income, building businesses etc and started losing interest at university.
  • I did what every budding entrepreneur thinks is right and started blogging in order to make money from affiliate marketing. 
  • I eventually ended up suffering badly from depression in my final year and dropped out, but I was still determined to make something of blogging (spoilers, I didn't).
  • I worked as a waiter on the side while trying to stay game free and write articles. 

Fast forward a couple of years from me leaving university, and I'm 2 months away from working completely remotely in Thailand with the freedom to travel to any country I want and work from anywhere in the world. I'm also earning more money than I would be if I had a physics degree.

So, how did I get here?

About 7 months ago, I embarked on a 3-week expedition to the remote Canadian Yukon (No, I never wanted to leave).

250px-Yukon_in_Canada.svg.png

After that trip, I had some major realisations and clarity as to what I wanted in my life. I had to come up with a way to get from where I was at that moment - working in a restaurant, addicted to gaming and a Twitch streamer, and horribly depressed - to the life that I wanted - wealthy, happy, peaceful, great friends, and freedom.

I started out by choosing a skill to learn.

We're moving into a skill-based economy, and if you can develop the necessary toolset you'll never find yourself out of work.

So, I learnt how to code.

Let me preface this by saying I HATED coding in university. Absolutely hated it with a passion. I even got my friend to do every single bit of coding coursework for me because I disliked it that much. 

Lo and behold, I went did 1-2 hours every single day and within 6 months I quit my job as a waiter and became a freelance web designer. 

I know, right?

However, my web design career was short-lived after my good friend (and founder of Game Quitters) Cam reached out to me with an opportunity to become the UK representative for Game Quitters, as well working on a bunch of marketing related stuff for the business.

AND THEN, not too long after that I jokingly messaged my friend if he knew of any work, and put me in touch with a guy he works for. We get talking, and within a couple of weeks, he hires me as a writer for his website. I knew all that blogging would come in handy!

So, I spent 5 years miserable. 6 months learning to code. 2 weeks as a web designer. 

Now, exactly 3 months after I became fully self-employed, I'm earning almost £30k a year from my laptop.

I still can't quite believe it myself.

 

I'm going to end this post here and write a new one with my current goals, hobbies, work and whatever else comes to mind. I'm just using this as a catch-all for my history with gaming, and to see how far I've come since my first journals.

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Day 0

I'm going to say it right off the bat, but the last 2 weeks, after being 8 months free of gaming, I relapsed and started playing Path of Exile.

I've also been horribly depressed, and have barely been doing any work. My diet has been awful and I haven't been exercised.

That changes today.

I woke up this morning at 7am, which is early for me on a Sunday, and went for a run. I meditated, ate a healthy breakfast, showered, and then deleted all Path of Exile content and blocked Twitch and Reddit again on my PC.

Where did this burst of motivation come from? I have no clue.

But, if there's one thing I've learnt in 5 years of personal development, it's to capitalise as much as possible when those bubbles of energy transpire. 

A couple of hours later and here I am. Writing this journal.

There isn't a huge amount for me to write, as I'm planning on doing this journal in the morning to reflect on my previous day.

Considering yesterday I woke up late, did some shopping with my parents, played Path of Exile and watched TV (Chernobyl is fantastic BTW), I don't have much more to say!

 

I will, however, use this post to outline a few of my goals, aspirations, desires, issues, hobbies blah blah blah.

Short-term goals - 6 to 12 months

  • Move to Thailand
  • Earn a stable income of £3k/m
  • Make meditation and exercise a core part of my daily/morning routine
  • Take up drawing and music production (Having to refocus my hobbies due to moving to Asia)
  • Up my photography game and create kickass travel photos (forgot to mention earlier I did professional photography work and am a keen landscape/wildlife photographer)
  • Have some actual, tangible, real-world friendships

Mid-term goals - 1 to 3 years

  • £6.6k/m income (this equates to a six-figure income in USD)
  • Have travelled and shot (photos) all around the world
  • Have a great network of friends across the globe
  • Look great naked (jacked and tan)
  • Run a marathon/ironman/something similar

Long-term goals - Sometime in the future

  • Married with a few kids, multiple houses and the freedom to do what I want
  • Earning loads of money (no idea how much, just a lot)
  • £3+ million net worth
  • Fully content with myself and my life
  • Genuinely happy
  • For some reason, I really want to try blacksmithing weapons at my own household forge, so I'll add this to the list 😄 
  • Completely pay for my parent's early retirement
  • Start a charity/foundation
  • Be on the Joe Rogan Podcast

 

Before this goes from a goals list to a bucket list, I'll stop there!

Thanks for reading and I'll see you again tomorrow.

Peace.

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Hey James, it's great to hear what you've done to improve yourself so far. Honestly, that's pretty inspirational. 

3 hours ago, James Good said:

 

  • Be on the Joe Rogan Podcast

 

 

This is when you know  you really made it in life :)

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Impressive summary. Including that "Married with a few kids" part :D

I'm planning a trip in a few weeks for several weeks, also to "step out" of my shadow and shift my life even further towards the good stuff.

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3 hours ago, DaBest said:

Hey James, it's great to hear what you've done to improve yourself so far. Honestly, that's pretty inspirational. 

 

This is when you know  you really made it in life 🙂

Thank you! And I agree, one day eh? 

3 hours ago, Ikar said:

Impressive summary. Including that "Married with a few kids" part 😄

I'm planning a trip in a few weeks for several weeks, also to "step out" of my shadow and shift my life even further towards the good stuff.

Thanks! Whereabouts are you heading off to? 

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25 minutes ago, James Good said:

Thanks! Whereabouts are you heading off to? 

I'm going to Iceland. I plan to travel, work and meet some new people there, as I've never been abroad by myself where I would have the opportunity to carve out my own plans while there.

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@Ikar Oh man that sounds amazing. I'd love to go to Iceland, looks like such a beautiful country.

I think taking some time out to travel a new place does wonders for gaining clarity and focus. 

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Day 1 - 10th June, 2019

My idea with this journal is to do it in the morning, and reflect on my previous day. So, although it says 10th June above, I'm writing about the 9th June. Maybe there's a better way for me to do this? I can see myself just getting confused!

 

# of days free from:

Gaming - 1

Reddit - 1

Twitch - 1

 

The time I woke up: 7 am

The time I went to bed: 11pm

 

What I did in the morning

- Went for a run

- 10 minutes of meditation

- Healthy breakfast

- Shower

 

On the whole, yesterday was a great day. I didn't get as much writing work done as I would have liked, but I'm not going to be annoyed about it.

I had planned to play golf with my dad and his mate in the afternoon, but due to weather issues and because the friend couldn't make it, my dad and I decided to go and play a lot earlier. Had a great time golfing, as always, and I'm trying to spend more time doing things I enjoy.

In the past, I've tried to push myself with non-stop work and always experience the same thing - massive burnout.

In order to avoid this, I'm not letting myself feel guilty for doing things that make me happy, such as golf, D&D, drawing, making music and whatever else takes my fancy.

After we got back from golf we watched some football, watched Rory Mcilroy destroy everyone in the golf, and finished watching Chernobyl.

Basically, most of my evening was spent watching TV, which is incredibly rare for me. I watch TV maybe 2-3 hours a week, but it was a Sunday evening and I haven't got much time left to spend with my family before I head out to Thailand. I'm going to make the most of it.

Pretty uninventive, but it was a fun day. I'm still not sure if this format works, where I go over the previous day, but I'll see how it goes.

What are my goals for the day:

- Write 1-2k words for an article

- Spend 2 hours on Game Quitters social marketing stuff

- Go to the gym

- Start looking at music production software

 

Peace.

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Day 2 - 11th June, 2019

It's the second day and I'm already confused with this format. I'm going to do a basic outline and then write two journals this evening, my brain can't handle this crap xD

# of days free from:

Gaming - 2

Reddit - 2

Twitch - 2

 

The ideal schedule for me is 10:30 pm - 6 am

The time I woke up: 8:30 am

The time I went to bed: 10:30 pm

 

What I did in the morning

- Not much at all 

Was an unproductive day, on the whole.

There were some good points and bad points, but I never managed to get into that 'work flow' mode. Constantly watching YouTube videos and podcasts, half-assing my work slowly throughout the day. 

I did some much needed organisational stuff for the GQ social media, that was way overdue, and wrote a pretty extensive plan for the article I'm writing today for this other guy. But, it definitely could have been much better. Now I'm left with a load more work to do today, because I've fallen behind, and am going to have to soldier on non-stop until I go to bed. Yay!

Only have me to blame, though.

One thing I did notice was that the cravings to watch/play Path of Exile were incredibly strong. It's so hard for me to resist going to Reddit, Twitch, or even look at the current race standings of the Twitch streamers. Fortunately, I've got all of these sites blocked on every device, so it's much more difficult for me to go on them.

I realised today that if/when I get to 40, I'll have been game-free longer than I've been playing games. It sounds like a lot but if I think back 16 years it doesn't seem like that long at all.

I can do this.

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5 hours ago, James Good said:

There were some good points and bad points, but I never managed to get into that 'work flow' mode. Constantly watching YouTube videos and podcasts, half-assing my work slowly throughout the day. 

This is something I'm struggling with. I havn't committed fully to any of the new hobbies I'd like to try out, and so my daily planner is basically empty except for a few appointments. I also work from home, and its a challenge for me to actually get started.

 

5 hours ago, James Good said:

One thing I did notice was that the cravings to watch/play Path of Exile were incredibly strong. It's so hard for me to resist going to Reddit, Twitch, or even look at the current race standings of the Twitch streamers. Fortunately, I've got all of these sites blocked on every device, so it's much more difficult for me to go on them.

Good for you!

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Okay, going to try and start writing my journal in the evening from now on. Hopefully, my little brain can handle it. I can't even make sense of what I've written so far. Maybe I'm going mad?

Whatever.

Day 2 - 11th June

# of days free from:

Gaming - 3

Reddit - 3

Twitch - 3

 

The ideal schedule for me is 10:30 pm - 6 am

The time I woke up: 7:20 am

The time I went to bed: 11:15 pm

 

What I did in the morning

Fairly productive on the whole, more than yesterday anyway.

- Exercised; pushups, kettlebell swings, kettlebell clean and press, squats

- Coffee, healthy breakfast

- Shower

- Didn't meditate today, need to solidify this as a habit

I actually managed to do a lot of the work I wanted to get done, but not nearly as much writing as I would have liked. 

I'm finding it hard to maintain a constant work ethic, but I think this is to be expected after spending the last few weeks in a pit of depression. It's hard not to get mad at myself, but I have to remember that despite everything I still managed to get some work done. 
All I need to do is get a bit more work done each day and before I know it I'll be able to smash out a 14 hour day no problem. 

Another big thing is that I really miss having a dedicated office space to work from. Unfortunately, I had to move out of the office I was renting at my cousin's web hosting company in my town, and am now working from home. It's horrible.

It's so easy for me to get distracted, and I feel so much less motivated.

I'm going to try and go to the restaurant I used to work at, as I'll probably get free coffee, it's quiet, friendly and the Wi-Fi is good. It's only a 5-minute walk from me as well, 3 minutes more than my office was 😄 

I've got a kick-ass video for the Game Quitters YouTube channel to finish off tomorrow, so keep an eye on that soon! (As well as boatloads more writing to do)

Peace.

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Day 3 - 12th June

# of days free from:

Gaming - 4

Reddit - 4 (I had to use Reddit today on a separate browser for some urgent tech support, but I'm not counting it as use)

Twitch - 4

 

The ideal schedule for me is 10:30 pm - 6 am

The time I woke up: 7:00 am I snoozed my alarm for about 40 minutes, I didn't even know it went on that long

The time I went to bed: 

 

What I did in the morning

Started high, faded fast.

- Went for a run in the rain, the best time to run

- Breakfast was eggs on toast with a protein shake

- Shower

- No meditation

- Didn't start working until 10 am

 

Today I wanted to get a YouTube video mostly done AND write most of an article. Instead, I was physically unable to record audio onto my laptop due to a driver issue and had to spend 90 minutes trying to fix it.

I got maybe 60% of the video done (sorry Cam) and did literally none of the article. Fortunately, the guy I write for told me there's no deadline so no need to rush. Even so, I told him it'd be done by Friday, and I don't want to make it seem like I don't keep my word. Which, honestly, for the most part, I don't at the moment. So I guess it's only fair.

On the other hand, I made some big strides towards the two podcasts I've got in the works; one is the relaunch of the Game Quitters podcast, and another is a comedy focused one with two of my close friends (I'm super excited to get going with these!).

 

It's hard for me to pick anything that's actually going well for me at the moment.

I'm potentially earning a decent amount of money - if I start working properly.

I'm fairly healthy - but I'm not exercising much or taking my diet as seriously as I was a couple months ago.

I've got the ability to work from anywhere and I'm staying confined to my dreary, messy room for maybe 21 hours of every day.

I've got a few friends, but they're almost all abroad or online. This will definitely change when I move to Thailand, but until now I just feel trapped.

 

That's probably the best way to describe myself at the moment.

I'm trapped.

I'm not only trapped physically, in my small bedroom of my parent's house in a tiny rural town in England. 

I'm trapped inside myself, too. I've lost the ability to push myself to be better, to be motivated to achieve and work hard. Something that was so simple and easy to me over the last few years. In the last 6 months, it just disappeared. I don't know if I got comfortable or what. But it's affecting everything.

It sounds ridiculous but I can't even run fast. I can't find the energy to push myself that little bit harder.

I'm also tired all the time, despite getting plenty of sleep each night.

 

Everything is going right for me, but nothing is going well.

 

The worst part is I can't see an end unless I really put in the work. I can't see myself putting in the work, and before I know it I've already failed.

I'm the opposite of a failure, but that's all I feel like right now. I'm failing to complete the work I've been asked to do, the work I've said I'd do. I'm letting people down and I'm frankly miserable.

Counting down the days until my family holiday to Turkey (10), and I'm hoping that can reignite something inside me.

If anything, it really emphasises how much I need to move on from a place after 3-6 months. It's a recurring pattern no matter where I go, or what I'm doing. I just need to get out, and it's even worse knowing that I've already booked my way out. But, it's not for another 2 months.

 

Sorry for ranting, I'm just throwing up words onto the screen about whatever comes to mind. I'm not talking to anyone about this, I'm not writing it anywhere, and I think I just need to get it out into the open. If you've read this far then congratulations, you deserve a pat on the back.

Peace.

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I think you are still doing an amazing job freelancing, even if you are in a slump. More people were self-employed in the past and I think it was that way, because there was no other option for them, so they were trying to be responsible in what they did, because failing that meant poverty or even death.

Now there are big corporations that can almost always throw a 40-hour job your way, the sort of low-level warehouse or call-center jobs, where most people working them think they can do better than that and perhaps rightly so. It's hard to identify with a large company and I think a lot of people suffer from that. A lot of people demonize their boss, because he's up their butt, perhaps constantly checking on them or not caring about them at all. They are "good" and the boss is "bad". I think the situation here in CZ is that employers actually cannot afford to fire their employees, even if they are blatantly half-assing their work.

Competent bosses are hard to come by. Becoming self-employed (or freelancing for that matter) means putting the responsibility of internalizing that boss on your shoulders. I think it's for the best, once your parents no longer have every answer for you and you have to start doing something on your own. There's some power in the notion that you are your own boss, as you know yourself the best. You are the CEO of your life and then you realize there's some "bad" in you too you want to get rid of and there's nobody else to blame. It's at least part of the reason I'm paving my own way towards it as well.

It's a long message, but hey, if writing this is my form of procrastination, that's a lot better than gaming 10 hours a day. There's a short video of Peterson in the spoiler about how to get a bit scared, so you work in the direction you set for yourself!

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Day 4 - 13th June

# of days free from:

Gaming - 5

Reddit - 5 

Twitch - 0 I decided to have a look at the current race leaderboards for Path of Exile to check in on my old favourite streamer, I ended up clicking the Twitch link and watched their stream for no more than 10 seconds. For some reason my blocker didn't stop the website, I have no idea why, but I'm going to count it as an ending of my streak.

 

The ideal schedule for me is 10:30 pm - 6 am

The time I woke up: 6 am and then turned off my alarm and woke up at 9am

The time I went to bed the night before: 10:50pm

 

What I did in the morning

I slept in much longer than I would have liked but apparently, my body needed it. I was so refreshed, and the horrible fatigue I'd been experiencing all day for the last week seemed to disappear.

I actually got to work pretty soon after doing some exercise and having a big coffee. I fasted for a while so that I didn't crash before work, something I've been struggling with. I spent the day recording and editing the video for the Game Quitters YouTUbe channel which should be uploaded in a few hours! 😄

I went to the driving range in the evening, watched a bit of the golf, and overall I had a really great day. 

It was such a refreshing shift of mood from the last couple of weeks, I'm actually looking forward to getting to work and finishing an article tomorrow (finally).

 

The current habit I'm working on: Waking up at 6:00 am, in bed by 10 pm.

 

@Ikar For some reason, I didn't get a notification about your post. 

I think everything you said is correct. I definitely need to give myself more credit for taking control and leading myself down this path. But I really like what you said about being the CEO of your own life. Everything that goes right or wrong is on you, and it makes you feel a certain sense of empowerment.

I've added that video to my watch later list, and I'll get round to it tomorrow. Thank you!

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Really nice to see your journal dude.  After reading all your posts elsewhere it's nice to get a look into your mind and see your struggle and how you face it. I feel like a lot of your history, as well as your long term goals going forward align with mine. Here's hoping we both make it. 

 
 
 
7 minutes ago, James Good said:

# of days free from:

Gaming - 5

Reddit - 5 

Twitch - 0

I need to do a list like this with Reddit and Youtube... Oh the horror.

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Day 5 - 14th June

# of days free from:

Gaming - 6

Reddit - 6

Twitch - 1

Surprisingly no urges today at all. Maybe it was because I was always busy?

 

The ideal schedule for me is 10:30 pm - 6 am

The time I woke up: 6:20 am, and actually stayed up, despite having no sleep.

The time I went to bed the night before: No idea it was an awful night's sleep

 

What I did in the morning

I'd placed my alarm clock on the other side of the room, next to a big glass of water, and actually managed to stay out of bed. I stayed up for a while, watching the golf highlights from yesterday (thanks PST) while drinking a coffee. My parents went to work and I got on with my day.

I'd been talking with @ElectroNugget the day before about me getting into drawing. It's something I've always enjoyed but never bothered getting any better. I also haven't drawn an actual finished drawing in over 4 years, so I'm definitely a little rusty.

But, the first thing I decided to do with my morning is attempt to copy a fantasy picture, as I'd love to get good enough to create amazing landscapes for D&D games. Here's the reference picture I was using:

 76165.thumb.jpg.049717a041ec292eda97a2efb907b747.jpg

And here's what I ended up with after about 90 minutes and only one pencil/no eraser:

62427180_603081110202826_295246523057307648_n.thumb.jpg.453ee2afa70ad648535cbcb14422a5e2.jpg

I know there's a lot that's technically wrong with it, and the shading is definitely off, but I'm pretty pleased with it as the first attempt in years. I actually really like most of the picture aside from the right side of it, something about that big wall without any texture is bugging me. OH well 😄

After I spent a bit of time on the drawing I decided to pack up my laptop and go down to the restaurant I used to work at, have some coffee, and do some writing on an article. It was actually really productive.

I've never worked from a 'coffee shop' before but I really enjoyed it. I got most of the article done, and should easily finish it up this weekend. Things are looking really good. I also had the luxury of treating myself to some incredible BBQ wings and a steak sandwich! 

Definitely going to make it part of my routine to go there for coffee most days of the week.

Not sure there's much more to talk about.

I'm doing some online courses to improve my drawing over the next few weeks and found a big box of artist's coloured pencils upstairs which I'll try to use. My next task is a sunset picture with mountains using watercolour pencils. I'm also going to eventually learn digital art and invest in a drawing tablet. I'd love to be able to create stuff like the image I put in earlier. 

Peace.

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Day 5 - 14th June

# of days free from:

Gaming - 7

Reddit - 7

Twitch - 2

Still no urges. Spent more time with my family which helped.

 

(The ideal schedule for me is 10:30 pm - 6 am)

The time I woke up: 8:30am

The time I went to bed the night before: 11:30pm

 

Almost first thing in the morning my mum and I went to go and help my cousin move into their new flat. The whole family was helping, doing trips back and forth in the car while a few of us stayed at the flat to unload and take things up 4 flights of stairs. Was a great start to the day, and only took a couple of hours, but it felt good to be active and helpful.

I was fasting from roughly 8pm the day before to 1:30pm in the afternoon, so it was a great activity to work up an appetite. I also bought a load of clothes for my holiday to Turkey next week. However, I really don't like supporting "fast" industries such as fashion, especially when I'm able to buy a t-shirt for 1 freaking pound. £1!!! How is that even possible, it baffles me. Regardless, I definitely didn't feel happy about buying it but I was desperate for clothes, that's what I get for living in a country that sees about 2 days of sunshine every year.

The rest of the day I did a bit of work and watched some films with my parents. We watched The Dark Knight and Shutter Island, both of which I'd seen before, I just wanted to see my mum's reaction to the films. She loves movies with twists.

Tomorrow it's father's day, and I think my dad and I will be playing golf which I'm really looking forward to.

Peace.

 

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