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Rationalizing


JaySK

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I’m on day 4 and while I’ve thought about games I haven’t really had an overwhelming desire to play. But I have had a lot of thoughts trying to rationalize the situation.

By that I mean, thinking “It’s just a video game. Why am I doing this? Doesn’t everyone deserve a hobby? Why is it so wrong for video games to be mine?”

Do you guys struggle trying to rationalize why giving up video games isn’t really that important? Given that we all know about the benefits of being more social and more active, how do you deal with those thoughts?

Personally, I know myself well enough to know I have an addictive personality. I can’t just play for one hour a day or something like that. I really feel for me it’s either give it up or be all in.

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Same for me, I can't just play a little. When I engage in something I go all in or not at all. I have the same problem with sweets, when there is some in mu house, I have to have them all!
 

As for your thoughts about games, they disappear after some time, but you have to make the effort of switching your direction. remove games from your future, like totally. Only then the temptation to play will be very small, as games will no longer have a space in your future, thus your mind will have a hard time conceptualizing games into your life.

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Hey JaySK,

When fighting any addiction it is a battle, a fight, a struggle. You are going to be attacked on all sides to get you to submit to your addiction. Rationalizing is definitely one of those tactics to slowly deceive you to drop your guard, to disarm you. 

Do know that this is a process and you will have days where you will relapse. Just know that it doesn't mean you failed, just an opportunity to learn what your weaknesses are. Learn there is places you can't go anymore, people you can't see, things you can't have on your devices. It is a learning process and one day you will reap the reward of a new life. A life without gaming. 

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On 6/6/2019 at 1:54 PM, JaySK said:

 I really feel for me it’s either give it up or be all in.

I am one 100% agreed with you on this. I too feel that I either give it all up or I make it a part of my lifestyle or identity. There is a lot of games I want to complete and that takes a lot of time. And I really don’t want to settle for rushing games or only playing half a series. So it’s got to be Nothing. The only thing I do do I will admit. Is that for the games where the story was the sole reason for me playing. I will watch streamers and you tubers play those games. Like dying light and borderlands cause it costs me nothing but 30-60min. Before I go to sleep. Borderlands which is my favorite series and now the awaited B3 is coming out right as I choose to stop. 

 

This is is what also makes me think like you. I try to rationalize and tell myself that I really want to complete this series and experience the story and world. Why the hell can I not just keep playing? 

 

But then I do something that might seem quite morbid. I imaging myself becoming terminally ill or being told that I don’t have much time left to live. Then I close my eyes and imagine if I would feel like I have spent the life I lived well. Just imagining myself sitting in front of the computer ? on sunny days getting pissed of loosing in CS GO or CoD most of my life made that thought experience almost panic provoking. 

This is what gets me away from rationalizing because you can easily rationalize by saying you should spent life on things you love. But if the things you love don’t make you feel like you obtained something with your life I think it would be a sign to quit those things completely. 

 

Sorry for the very long reply ? 

But you are definitely not the only one trying to rationalize gaming just keep in mind that it might really be something your brain tries to do so you don’t feel like shit when relapsing until it has been satiated. ? 

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Also in agreeance and feel the same. I've got an addictive personality too. My psych described me as 'all or nothing', which can be benificial for a lot of things too. A lot of people here can definitely relate to that aswell. Everyone's addiction and journey is different, but I reckon those 'faults' can also be translated into something advantageous.

Rationalising is something to be aware of to avoid relapse. When we think about playing a game and actually do it, it's never as good as we imagine it to be. The game industry imo plays a big role in influencing rationlisation (Since it's so popular and now they're pushing back against game addiction, claiming it's not real). The tobacco industry runs a similar pattern of rationalisation. In Indonesia there's still debate as to weather tobacco is harmful or not. The purpose of industries using rationalisation is for financial interests.

I strongly believe in freedom and that games should never be banned. But addicted gamers should have access to help if they want or need it, rather than being stuck questioning weather addiction is real or not. Imo the game industry crossed the line when they started throwing money in to 'disprove' game addiction. That to me shows they really want to protect their financial interests. I saw an article/study showing that most of their profits come from a small percent of 'outliers' who're heavily addicted and spend thousands. That info would've been on the websites with detailed advice and info meant for game devs on how to make their game addictive, popular ect.

If you search "How to make an addicting game" you'll find lots of resources on how those mechanisms work. That might help yourself rationalise in a different way too. Information and knowledge is what helps me get through a lot of addictions. You can also dig deep enough into youtube to find videos about ex-game devs (Why they quit their job, why they themselves never played video games ect).

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  • 4 weeks later...

@JaySK @dahankus @James Good @James S. @The radtech @TwoSidedLife
.. and everyone curious about the topic here, I just wanted to share that rationalization is not new to addiction recovery. This article here will show you how alcoholics fall into this trap as well - we are not alone in our struggles.
https://www.addiction.com/3436/rationalization-12-step-process/
I have no doubt if you go to an AA meeting face to face or online and ask to add rationalization to the meeting topics you will hear a lot of stories. We can of course share our stories here as well but point being AA has been around for almost one hundred years and have had a lot of time to address the issue - it might have a section in their big book I am uncertain but will update the topic if I find out

Neil

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