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Listen to Cam and James Discuss eSports In Episode 2 of Gaming the System!

AssellusPrimus

Keys to a Successful Detox

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Greetings Everyone! 

After about 3 months failing to last even 2 weeks, and countless years of trying to quit, I have finally began to make some progress and noticed that I have made some significant changes to my life which has enabled me to move towards my goal of the 90 day detox. I wanted to know if anyone has any tips or advice for a successful detox, what changed in your habits/behaviors? What is different in your mindset? What changes did you make in your life? 

I'll go first...

1. Accessibility - I made playing games very difficult and a lot of work. I sold my gaming consoles (PS4, Gaming Laptop) and bough a older 2 in 1 CPU for my school which couldn't run higher quality games. On top of this I deleted my steam account (which takes 30 days) and during the 30 days sent it to a friend so I couldn't cancel the process. If I relapsed on another console, I would self-sabotage myself in the game, for example if I was playing a ranked game, I would abandon the game so that I could play. Making gaming as hard as possible, but them in a different location, if your not ready to sell them, give them to a friend, if you are lapsing they are to easy to access and you have to make it harder! 

2. Identify why your playing.. I was playing for rank and the feelings that I felt when I won, or achieved a victory in the game. I was playing for the dopamine rush, when you identify what your playing you can disillusion yourself. A process I use (Thanks Tony Robbins) is:

The Process for Pain Pleasure Associations

  1. Write down an action you have been putting off.
  2. Answer why haven't you taken action? In the past what pain have I liked to taking action?
  3. What pleasures have I had by indulging in this negative pattern?
  4. What will it cost you if you don't change now.
  5. What pleasure will I receive by taking action right now?

Being able to answer these questions honestly really helped me! 

3. Develop a routine and plan your day - Having a routine in the morning and stability provided me with much needed structure, and time to plan the things I would be doing with my day so I never felt I have "free" time. My routine changed from waking up after 10am, to waking up 5am, exercising and studying Spanish. Don't have any idea, what a morning routine should look like? Google it! And build a routine around your goals, for me exercise is so important for me to function at my best! 

4. Created a Todolist - to record all my ideas and inspiring thoughts, I am super ADD and this changed my life and was a great counter to mm what should I do, well maybe I can game... Wait remember I am trying to learn spanish, or remember I am looking for a job, or wait remember I am reading this book, and ticking the box becomes just as rewarding as gaming except I see great changes in my life!

5. Find a mentor - Starting reading all of Tony Robbins material and studying practical psychology for understandings of my mind and how to change behaviors. I realized that I needed teachers, I don't know whats its like to live a life without gaming so I need to learn, and watch people who do it! 

6. Waking up Earlier (@ 5am) Meant I was tired at 9pm and wasn't tempted to spend my free time from 9pm - 1am which I normally spend doing nothing productive.

What changed for you?

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I'll start planning my days too. Right now, I have a daily to-do list, but I am kinda lost in time and get caught up in doing something else without structuring a proper time-frame. I've been back-and-forth on this for a few years, but I have to do it! I'll think about something more cohesive for this topic later.

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Thanks for the rundown dude, gonna go over this this weekend and see what I can apply to my detox plan! 

Edit: I’ll also do a write up of some of my strategies later! It’s 2am right now and I need to sleep. 😅

Edited by ElectroNugget

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My comments on what @AssellusPrimus wrote:

Accessibility - Agreed 100%. I was quite minimalist with this, I think all I did was to uninstall Steam, block Twitch, unsub from YT gaming channels and Discord servers, basically used as alerts for Twitch. That was it for me.

Identify why are you playing - I used a bunch of Tony Robbins' stuff before I quit games, actually "Awaken the Giant Within" was probably the first self-help book I read when I was 18/19. It wasn't very helpful for me back then though, as I had never imagined I'd be on GQ one day. I was dealing with a crisis of meaning, something WAY deeper than pain/pleasure associations.

Back then, I assumed things would come to me "on their own" over time, that someone could "teach" me to be better, tougher, smarter and what not. That all I would do was to "invest" a few years into that and I'd be OK. Now that's a nice line of thinking, but it was pathetically irresponsible. "Something/someone" will take care of me. Yeah... no.

Responsibility was an empty word for me for a lot of years. I don't think anyone ever explained to me and even if they did, it would probably sound something like "It means you basically agree to tie yourself to a certain thing and make sure it goes well."

Now that sounds kind of horrible. Well, what's the trade-off then? You have some purpose, you're not a nihilist and you're not a leech on your society and loved ones, because you play games 16 hours a day. Video of Cam on the topic in the spoiler:

Schedule - As much as I have troubles practicing it, concentrated and sustained effort yields fruit. You also can't do everything every single day and you also want some time to rest. Plan ahead. Maybe you want to nail that thesis a week before the deadline, instead of several hours before it. Perhaps you failed in that and still rushed 50% of it a few hours before the deadline. That's still better than doing a 100% on the last few hours. Good for you! It's OK to start something new badly, but persevere.

Role models - I have a few of them personally. They need to be a) human and b) above in you in the mastery you try to attain. Try to have a few of them within your reach, so you know they are real and are able to give you some advice directly if you ask them. I've one for English teaching, psychology and game quitting.

Now some of my thoughts:

It hurts/Opportunity - Acknowledging that about I spent about 90% of my time in a very sub-optimal way was quite shocking. I take it as my second chance though, not everybody is allowed that during their life to do a full reboot as I have.

Small change - Associated with that, the change I made in my head wasn't that big, it just had a big impact. I write more, I go out more, I study more, I'm more outgoing, adventurous... just because I have to shift these needs elsewhere from gaming/Twitch.

Be clear on who/what you want - I got into a doomed (hindsight) relationship and my irresponsibility backfired, though there were some nice things I've never experienced before and I very much deserved all of that and so did she. Be vigilant. If you are responsible, pick responsible friends and partners. You can't forcefully pull someone out of a lurch, they need to crawl out of it themselves. Find something you are good at or enjoy and pursue it. There has to be something good you can give to the world.

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