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James Good

Question of the week: How have you changed since quitting gaming?

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Loving the engagement on these. Would be great if we could get 15-20 people commenting on this one!

Pretty simple question this week. At least, for me.

It might be different for you, and if it is, let me know why!

 

Simply put, I don't like the person I am when I'm gaming.

I'm bitter, selfish, lazy and unproductive, unhealthy and just not a fun person to be around.

Whereas compared to now, not to say that I'm perfect by any means, but all of those characteristics seemed to go away.

I still struggle with some of them; most notably being unmotivated. But, I'm working on it. And I'm downright better than I was 2 years ago, so that's a positive, right?

On top of this, I also have more hobbies and goals than I did when I gamed. I could never really see a clear vision for my future, whereas now I have so much more clarity. It's a night and day difference.

 

So, let me know how you've changed since quitting gaming (If you've changed at all) in the comments below!

 

Also, if you've only just started your journey and haven't noticed any changes yet, write down some of the things you'd like to see happen over the course of your journey!

Remember, the changes don't even have to be positive. I'm still finding it difficult to fill every hour of my day with activities, but like everything else, I'm working on it as much as I can.

 

Peace.

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If I have changed at all since quitting gaming, I don't know... it really has been a long time. I didn't even remember when was the last time I was on the computer screen obsessively for how long... at the earliest, I would say age 12 when parental controls from Windows Vista kicked me out for no apparent reason other than just being accountable. However, at the latest, I believe it was around age 20 when I quit the Internet account-wise (still keeping Google and Facebook moderately, anything else is on hold until I feel way much better mentally due to drama). The last actual time I did relapsed while planning to quit gaming for good because of school is Saturday, April 27, 2019. I know... I deleted the stupid app a day or two late from scheduled. Sorry. I am the better person I became today than I did as a child being obsessed with TV, Hollywood, and um... - no-not-Madison-Avenue - Radio Disney. Ah! The nostalgia... Here you go: https://2000ish.tumblr.com/ This is what my childhood is like back in the day because I'm a late '90s baby and I grew up in that era before Facebook, Twitter, and other social media platforms got overrated by the time I was in high school.

Edited by Natalie

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It's been a very slow process but I can feel myself connecting more with real life stuff. I decided I wanted to give it a real shot at becoming an author and for the first time maybe ever, I'm starting to feel the resistance against that dream by my inner critic wither away. A lot of my self talk used to be extremely negative but it's gotten much, much better and I'm better able to handle the negativity that does come up. Cravings for non-gaming stuff are easier to deal with (craving, fast food). I also feel I'm a much kinder, more patient person as well.

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Quitting gaming and Twitch helped me draw a strong line between my past and my present, so I could understand my past. I feel I'm gaining a lot of experience from that and I'm also more responsible and truly in charge of my life, though I didn't get through those years of addiction unscathed. I'm more excited about each day and more outgoing, as my addiction inhibited that a fair bit.

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I'm still very early into my detox (day 11) so I'll write about the things I hope to see happen.

I hope my journey to become healthy continues to be as successful as it's been so far. I've got 45 pounds to lose to be a 'healthy' body weight for my height based on some random internet site.

I hope to build important social skills that I ignored for most of my life. Also improvements in self worth and confidence.

Build skills that will help me in my career.

Relearn French and practice Italian.

Find new hobbies and passions.

And of course, an exciting dating life.

 

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It is awesome!! I am more positive towards life and everything I do. I don't feel as bad if I fail at something as I did before, I just keep trying. My mind doesn't want to procrastinate at all, its a great feeling. I just keep on working, keep on going forward, keep on improving, more and more.

 

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It is my second attempt at quitting, where the first time failed, cause i tried to keep gaming to just weekends. But that quickly turned into all weekend, every day, all week, non stop.... 
Now im a week in again, but back then and now, i can see the early changes being that i tend to hangout more with family and friends, where i before would hangout for 30-45min and then start thinking of an excuse to go home, so i could play computer before the day was over (thought still being 8-12 left of the day) 😐 
Other then that, its just the small things, like keeping the apartment looking good, before it was easy to say "naa ill do it tomorrow.....and then the next day, say the same thing", until i was expecting company and having to run around like a madman trying to clean up before they arrived hehe

so in short, I have more time with family and friends and i have more time to get things done, rather than pushing them forward. 🙂 

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I'm 42 days in and honestly not much changed for me other than using the (many) hours of gaming to do other things. Unfortunately, I'm still trying to figure out something else that I can be passionate about. So far, instead of gaming, I do spend a lot more time with my wife and my dog. But I also watch more Netflix with her, which is not much better than gaming, although I guess it's less solitary. I'm reading more, which is good too. I think I need to figure out something more concrete to invest energy in, and to draw out a sense of accomplishment like I did from games. Maybe a sport? Or writing? I guess 42 days in I have more questions than answers.

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1 hour ago, razvan_ung said:

I'm 42 days in and honestly not much changed for me other than using the (many) hours of gaming to do other things. Unfortunately, I'm still trying to figure out something else that I can be passionate about. So far, instead of gaming, I do spend a lot more time with my wife and my dog. But I also watch more Netflix with her, which is not much better than gaming, although I guess it's less solitary. I'm reading more, which is good too. I think I need to figure out something more concrete to invest energy in, and to draw out a sense of accomplishment like I did from games. Maybe a sport? Or writing? I guess 42 days in I have more questions than answers.

Hey, one thing I've learned so far is that passion for things isn't just something you have, you have to cultivate it. You do this by figuring out what it is you want to do, what really excites you, and then going out and investing in that thing. The more you invest into something, the more it means to you.

Think about all those hours you spent gaming before you realized you needed to quit. Would you say you were passionate about playing those games? I know I sure did, for a long time at least. The more of yourself and your time and energy you invest into something, the more you care about it and don't want to let it go. If that's not passion, then I don't know what is.

Just spend some time doing various activities and figure out what interests you. You're going to run into some duds (I sure did!), but you'll find a few things that you really connect with. Maybe it's writing, maybe it's hiking, maybe it's rock climbing. The point is that you just have to go out and do stuff. The things that you find you keep thinking about when you're not doing them, those are the things that you'll likely get really excited and passionate about once you get really good at them.

Cheers brother, best of luck!

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20 days without gaming. I'm still a big mess, but a slightly smaller mess than before quitting. I now have a rough account on the tasks I need to do, in which I'm already working on, and I also have goals, rough as they are, instead of wishes. A goal is a wish you start to work towards with intent on achieving. A wish is just a distant dream. I still have those, everyone must have theirs, but without the power to act upon them, they serve nothing, and this power could only come to me after leaving gaming behind.

I'm also a little bit more focused, even if with the help of reminders and alarms. More than the time to start a task, they remind me of the task itself and the things I set up for me to work ASAP. Setting a routine is still a problem, though. I oftentimes get unrest feelings, some unsettleness, some unease and anxiety about my work environment, or the way I'm doing something, but I guess this is because of the huge change in attitude and expectations I'm going through. After all, I went from having zero expectations and just plunging into time-sucking and mind-numbing gaming to having a lot of expectations and having to carefully manage time. This is a huge leap. Understanding it helps to cope with the anxiety that it results in, but I believe only time will help things settle and a sense of order arise. Thus, I try not to rush things too much, on the fear of a relapse.

Replacing the old gaming habit with new bad habits like mindless browsing or watching YT videos is also a fear of mine, and something I caught myself doing several times. It is less dangerous, but still time-wasting and distracting. So, I give myself a daily permit to read news and watch YT, but only at certain periods and for a limited time, which admittedly I have to become better at managing. Still, going from wasting 10 hours/day on gaming to wasting about 3 hours/day with at least partially informative reading and watching routines is something of a step on the right direction. I'm not entirely satisfied with it and I want to improve even further, but, again, giving myself some time to accommodate things is a way to not put too much pressure too soon over myself and risk a relapse and further grief. Baby steps, one at a time.

I think the best improvement I have had, though, is to feel conscious and awake. When you game for almost 2/3 of the time you are not sleeping, things fell fuzzy, time slips by, reality feels... weird, almost distant. Things kinda make little sense, because everything you want to do with your time is use it on a task self-contained inside a virtual reality that isn't affected by what is going on around you. I believe Game Quitters' mote is almost incredibly fitting. Quitting compulsive game is quite literally unlocking life.

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Honestly. I've just completed the detox and don't really feel like I've changed at all.

I don't feel like I really was able to adequately replace gaming in my life with other things and feel like something's really missing despite all the extra hobbies. Perhaps it is just a matter of doubling down and putting more effort in. But I'm honestly really tired, and still as angry and bitter as when I started. I just have healthier hobbies now. The gaming was merely a symptom of a larger issue I need to confront.

I hope this doesn't put anyone doing off doing the detox by the way, as I still believe it was worthwhile. I achieved a couple of really great things out of it with renewed focus. But you may not overcome all your demons and bad habits by doing it. I certainly don't have any of the clarity for my future that others are describing. Maybe one day.

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8 hours ago, Circadian Rhythm said:

Honestly. I've just completed the detox and don't really feel like I've changed at all.

I don't feel like I really was able to adequately replace gaming in my life with other things and feel like something's really missing despite all the extra hobbies. Perhaps it is just a matter of doubling down and putting more effort in. But I'm honestly really tired, and still as angry and bitter as when I started. I just have healthier hobbies now. The gaming was merely a symptom of a larger issue I need to confront.

I hope this doesn't put anyone doing off doing the detox by the way, as I still believe it was worthwhile. I achieved a couple of really great things out of it with renewed focus. But you may not overcome all your demons and bad habits by doing it. I certainly don't have any of the clarity for my future that others are describing. Maybe one day.

The detox was always meant as a jumping off point, nothing more, I think. You'll find your way. 🙂

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On 5/17/2019 at 3:05 PM, seriousjay said:

The things that you find you keep thinking about when you're not doing them, those are the things that you'll likely get really excited and passionate about once you get really good at them.

Thanks for the reply and the suggestions. Really liked this part of your reply (quoted above). It immediately made me think that even as I gamed I kept thinking of a couple of things I wanted to do more of: writing, reading books, and enjoying the outdoors during summer. At this (still) early phase, I think I am struggling with the instant gratification aspect of gaming. All those activities are things I can do almost anytime, and yet I kept choosing games over them. The point you make about perseverance makes sense. Passion for something doesn't magically appear overnight. I guess my main take away is, at this point, patience. I need to try some things out, keep at them for a bit to get a feel for them, then decide what I keep and what is not for me. Thanks again!

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20 hours ago, Circadian Rhythm said:

Honestly. I've just completed the detox and don't really feel like I've changed at all.

[...]

I achieved a couple of really great things out of it with renewed focus. But you may not overcome all your demons and bad habits by doing it. I certainly don't have any of the clarity for my future that others are describing. Maybe one day.

I'm not yet 90 days clean, but I get what you are saying. About 45 days in, and I still primarily feel the hole quitting left.

I've quit drinking 13 months ago, and even now I am struggling - not with cravings, but with the gap it left in my life. Social life has gone to shit, family gatherings are weird without drinking, going out feels less fun, etc. But the health benefits of not drinking are awesome and I'm so glad I stopped. Gaming, on the other hand, was not as physically harmful, so it's hard to fill that gap and to get the same joy out of other things. 

My observation is that quitting anything big is not so much about the immediate cravings or symptoms - those are manageable with a bit of willpower and patience; it is about the monumental task of figuring out my own life. "Now what?" is the question that is always on my mind. As if gaming was this like 20+ year long dream from which I finally awoke. This is a massive task! It's actually frightening. It's almost like I was just pulled out of the Matrix. Deer in the headlights. And I don't know if people who have not been gamers can easily understand this. So, maybe one day, as you said, I will find all the answers. I hope you do too! 

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21 hours ago, Ambassador said:

Replacing the old gaming habit with new bad habits like mindless browsing or watching YT videos is also a fear of mine, and something I caught myself doing several times. It is less dangerous, but still time-wasting and distracting. So, I give myself a daily permit to read news and watch YT, but only at certain periods and for a limited time, which admittedly I have to become better at managing.

Yeah, this is the kind of thing I am on a lookout for as well. I had tried quitting games before, and slid into binge watching Netflix, then returned to games because I thought "well, at least games are more interactive." Not good. I like your idea re: a daily permit. I think I'll implement that. 

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1 hour ago, razvan_ung said:

I'm not yet 90 days clean, but I get what you are saying. About 45 days in, and I still primarily feel the hole quitting left.

I've quit drinking 13 months ago, and even now I am struggling - not with cravings, but with the gap it left in my life. Social life has gone to shit, family gatherings are weird without drinking, going out feels less fun, etc. But the health benefits of not drinking are awesome and I'm so glad I stopped. Gaming, on the other hand, was not as physically harmful, so it's hard to fill that gap and to get the same joy out of other things. 

My observation is that quitting anything big is not so much about the immediate cravings or symptoms - those are manageable with a bit of willpower and patience; it is about the monumental task of figuring out my own life. "Now what?" is the question that is always on my mind. As if gaming was this like 20+ year long dream from which I finally awoke. This is a massive task! It's actually frightening. It's almost like I was just pulled out of the Matrix. Deer in the headlights. And I don't know if people who have not been gamers can easily understand this. So, maybe one day, as you said, I will find all the answers. I hope you do too! 

I've been mostly clean of games for about 9 months now and the "Now what?" question still haunts me from time to time!

I have days where I question the path that I've decided to take since quitting, and I won't know if it's the right one for sure until I see some real progress, I think. The beauty of it is though that YOU get to decide what to do with your time. No one else. I used to believe that we all have some kind of "calling" or something we're "meant to do", but I've realized that what we're meant to do is nothing more than what we go out and do. Just find things that you like and do them, and just see what happens.

Just remember not to put any limitations on what you think you're capable of. For every 1000 or 10000 people who believe a successful person got lucky, or just "has it", or whatever, there was that 1 person who discovered a strategy to achieve that success and implemented it with hard work. Literally anything and everything can be learned and mastered - it's up to you what you want to do!

Edited by seriousjay
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12 hours ago, razvan_ung said:

I think I'll implement that

In my specific case, I allow myself to watch videos or read news after lunch and at early night, which are slow periods for me anyway, so I'm not losing too much time as I would be dragging myself into any kind of productive activity. Be sure to either set a timer or carefully track the time you spend at it, so that you don't binge. And don't let the "just one more" mindset get you. Good luck!

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