At what point did you realize that you finally turned the corner?

[seriousjay]

I ask this question publicly because I've been asking it of myself for a little while now. I thought I was over gaming, had been game free for over half a year, until I started gaming again. For about the last month I've been gaming on and off. Yesterday was something of a breaking point for me. I had fully intended to go to the gym to make up a missed session on Thursday, but then because I was too busy gaming, I forgot to go until 9 PM, when I was getting ready to go to bed (ie., I had unplugged from the game and plugged back in to real life).

I've also recently started to wonder if I ever actually got over that gaming habit. I've come to learn that some science suggests habits are never broken, people just replace the method in which the desired result is achieved. I believe now that when I quit gaming, I simply replaced it with other forms of mindless entertainment, in this case Netflix. It was nowhere near as self destructive as gaming had been, but I had my bingey days as well.

I've come to realize and accept that what really needs to change is my mindset towards down time. What I mean by that is, anything that isn't watching something on TV or Netflix, or gaming, simply feels like work. Reading, writing, learning an instrument, geocaching are all things I've tried and they all felt like and still feel like work. Hell, it took me a LONG time to enjoy going to the gym, and even then there are days when I really don't want to go. So, I need to shift my thinking towards embracing a habit of productive down time instead of just mindlessly consuming content. Until this happens, I don't think I'll ever really be over this gaming/entertainment addiction.

I'm curious if there's something that you guys have identified as something that NEEDS to happen in order for you to feel like you've finally turned the corner. Maybe we can help each other out. ?

[Hmmge]

I think everyone NEEDS to have both a positive and a negative vision. 

You need to have a vision of your ideal life, of something you want to achieve, of something that matters to you that you think is worth fighting for. And on the other hand, you also need to have a vision of how your life would look like if you didn't try. The "worst case scenario" in a sense. That vision is scary. In life, both positive and negative motivation have value and are most effective together.

[seriousjay]

1 hour ago, JustTom said:

I think everyone NEEDS to have both a positive and a negative vision. 

You need to have a vision of your ideal life, of something you want to achieve, of something that matters to you that you think is worth fighting for. And on the other hand, you also need to have a vision of how your life would look like if you didn't try. The "worst case scenario" in a sense. That vision is scary. In life, both positive and negative motivation have value and are most effective together.

That's a good point. I've done that exercise before. I imagine myself on my death bed, not having even attempted the things I was most passionate about because of fear or what have you, and usually what I feel is a total sense of dread. That person who is so successful at the thing that I wanted to do - that could have been me! When you really allow yourself to feel into that vision, it makes it really hard to justify NOT going for the thing you dream about.

[Damiano]

58 minutes ago, JustTom said:

In life, both positive and negative motivation have value and are most effective together.

Very true

@seriousjay You actually learned a great wisdom from your experience. The key now is to constantly make yourself remember it, I do this with  the journal. My morning coffee has become my moment of insight into my own mindset, and I read some of my previous posts in order to catch a bit of my own wisdom, before it fades away.

As to answer your question, I don't have turning point, its a process for me. Every decision, every action is a vote, for the kind of person you want to be. And one action doesn't matter much if the overall trend in your life is improvement. I love this approach because then the "wrong" action is not as important as the "right" action, as one bas choice will not ruin your progress and one good choice will ALWAYS improve your life. This removes the feeling of guilt for skipping gym or anything like that, instead you focus on doing it tomorrow.

 

[seriousjay]

13 hours ago, dahankus said:

Very true

@seriousjay You actually learned a great wisdom from your experience. The key now is to constantly make yourself remember it, I do this with  the journal. My morning coffee has become my moment of insight into my own mindset, and I read some of my previous posts in order to catch a bit of my own wisdom, before it fades away.

As to answer your question, I don't have turning point, its a process for me. Every decision, every action is a vote, for the kind of person you want to be. And one action doesn't matter much if the overall trend in your life is improvement. I love this approach because then the "wrong" action is not as important as the "right" action, as one bas choice will not ruin your progress and one good choice will ALWAYS improve your life. This removes the feeling of guilt for skipping gym or anything like that, instead you focus on doing it tomorrow.

 

This is something I learned a long time ago. Do not beat yourself up over a perceived failure. The irony about being extremely hard on yourself is that it often tends to lead to even further regression. Just accept that it's OK and do better next time.