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My Self Improvement Journal


George Wyatt

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Alright so, I have been dealing with self negativity a lot, not just now but ever since I realized I had/have a gaming problem. Subconsciously my self worth hit rock bottom and my mind was full of bad thoughts and beliefs about myself. 

It's important, as a first step, to recognize the things we do that aren't helpful, so I get why you included things in your list which you want to remove or stop. Though when/while I was in that stage, I focused on that, the negative, the things I was doing wrong, and for a while I was stuck in negativity even though I knew I had a problem with negativity! It's complicated right?

I started feeling better when I decided to take action to replace the things I considered I'd been doing wrong with things I considered to be right, and that's really difficult at first you know, cause my brain told me no fawn, this isn't true, or.. no fawn, I can't be bothered to think differently. It helped me to revisit some articles about how and why our brains are made to follow the neural pathways we've paved, even if they're wrong. It helped me knowing that trying to look for the good in me, the gray areas, isn't hard because it's fake, but it's hard cause I've not done it for a while. When you ruminate and stress and tell yourself bad stuff about yourself, you get used to that being the truth. But truth is always somewhere in the middle, there's good and bad in everything, and looking into cognitive distortions and worksheets about them (and DOING them) really helped.

I want to tell you, it's a WIP. It doesn't change overnight or overweek even. I'm not talking about affirmations, that stuff doesn't work for me. What worked and works for me is trying to see the full picture about myself, putting my thoughts and beliefs about myself to the test (as if someone else was saying it about themselves, what would I say to them?) and also as frightening as it's been, keeping brave in uncertainty. When I removed gaming from my life, I felt like I lost my identity, that I didn't know what to choose, who I am, what I like etc. Bravery is to act despite fear, not without fear.

I wanted to write this post with more structure but I have no access to a keyboard right now, so even though it's not coming out as nicely as I'd thought it would I wanna add another thing. Try to focus on <positive opposite> of your negative habits, even when you write your list again, because our brains don't really understand the "not" thing. 

Try not to think about a pink elephant with a green bowtie. Did it work or did you just think about the pink elephant with the bowtie? That's what I mean.

Hope it's helpful in some way!

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Wow that's really interesting take on it! I like the idea of trying to find a middle ground and being aware of it instead of being extreme (I have a very black/white view of the world which makes me very prone to disregarding this most of the time). 

Also, in the future if I remove a bad habit, I think I'll make a chart that compares the good and bad aspects of that habit and a habit that I want to replace it with (because even bad habits, like long showers, provide a measured dose of escapism that can be good). That way I can make a more informed decision and not send myself into the void.

Was feeling pretty crap today too and getting outside was the only thing that helped. Thinking that I need to set some more concrete goals (maybe SMART style), that I can work towards that highlight this good feeling. Floating aimlessly is only making me more prone to negative thinking and I've only discovered a set few things that help me get over that feeling so far).

Thanks for replying even though you didn't have your keyboard, this really helped me clear my mind and I think that I now have a rough idea of how I'm going to move forward.

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Day 15 -- 05/23/19

FOG 78 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 78 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 108 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 55 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 23 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 23 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 23 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 3 Day (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

MGLFS Week 1 (Making Good Lunch For School)

 

One/some amazing thing(s) about today!

1) I threw a ball around with my dad outside.

2) I ran a 3:27 kilometer (new PR).

What I am grateful for today

I am grateful that I have good friends that I can trust and rely on.

Wake up time

6:20

Getting to bed before 10pm

Nope. 10:15

Reading

-- 

Workout

Ran up to the track, ran a 3:27 kilometer, and ran back.

Meditation 

--

Spanish

Spent half an hour on Duolingo.

Outdoors time

Walked back from school.

Threw a ball around with dad for 15 minutes while barbecuing burgers.

Ran up to the track, ran 1km, and ran back (20 minutes total)

Typing

Spent 10 minutes typing.

Homework

Did loads of calculus in class, at lunch and a bit when I got home.

What went well today

Spent some time with friends at lunch. Ran a PR of 3:27 for the 1k. Did some calculus. Spent some time outside with my dad.

What I could have done better today

Meditation. Reading. Finishing my math. Going to track.

What I will do differently tomorrow // What I'm doing tomorrow

Meditation. Reading. Finishing my math. // Finishing packing for camping trip. Picking up a tent. Going on a camping trip and enjoying it ?

How I felt today

Very stressed about math and the camping trip tomorrow. Logically, I know that it will be alright, but that doesn't stop me from going into a panic cycle. Whilst panicking, I decided not to go to track which was an awful idea. However, throwing a ball around with my dad and running in the evening helped me feel a lot better. Fawn's reply also helped me clear up my thoughts which was great.

My (New) Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. 

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

- Finishing Anna Karenina before getting back from my trip in July.

 

P.S. Gone for a camping trip until Sunday afternoon. Will write journal entries while I'm gone, but won't be able to post until I get back.

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On 5/22/2019 at 11:17 PM, George Wyatt said:

Bank of Habit/Hobby Ideas (Work In Progress)

- Stop multitasking.

- Meditation.

- Stretching.

- Homework first thing when getting home.

- Eating more veggies.

- Writing.

- Working on social skills.

- Mindset (reduce ruminating, reduce judgement, be more easygoing, be less competitive with others and don't compare yourself to others).

- Spend time outside (no matter the weather).

- 1 Daily act of kindness.

- Work out shortly in the morning.

- Take a walk each day of the weekend.

What a list. I might steal the part above!

Not sure about the competitiveness, just make sure you don't snuff your fire with it, as some people thrive in a cut-throat environment. I feel like former gamer myself, shifting the competitive attitude from gaming to somewhere else is a huge deal!

9 hours ago, George Wyatt said:

Wow that's really interesting take on it! I like the idea of trying to find a middle ground and being aware of it instead of being extreme (I have a very black/white view of the world which makes me very prone to disregarding this most of the time).

I used to be very hard-line black/white person, especially on morals. I think all it gave me was elitist, arrogant, slightly resentful and contemptuous outlook on most people I couldn't put into my little box.

Now I know that if I ever get resentful and contemptuous, there's just something I don't understand. If I demonize that other guy for something he has done to me, I demonize myself too, because I am human and he's human as well. Then it's right to think, what made him do it and what could make me do it? I try to be in his shoes. That's how I dealt with my breakup, but I was only able to do that responsibly after quitting gaming.

I think the same applies to gaming. Sure, hate and anger towards it might be the first reaction, but you don't want to be stuck there forever. 98% people who play games aren't game addicts, so if you go on a crusade against gaming, most people around you will feel uncomfortable. Corresponds well with Cam's video too:

Keep searching for that middle ground!

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Thanks Ikar! Your paragraph on competitiveness is spot on; I am extremely competitive and shifting my attitude from gaming, whilst trying to mellow out a bit, is (IMO) one of the greatest things about quitting gaming. Frankly, your entire post describes how I've been thinking and acting up until quite recently and even now I still struggle with being arrogant and contemptuous. It's nice and quite comforting to know that someone else understands this and has been through it. I'm working on finding that middle ground and expanding my horizons by trying new things seems to be the best way to open up to these new realities and possibilities that allow me to focus my time and energy and influence my personality and thoughts in a positive manner.

I really do appreciate you taking the time to share your thoughts and it has allowed me to focus and clear mine. Thank you ? 

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Days 16 to Day 18 -- 05/24/19 to 05/26/19

FOG 81 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 81 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 111 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 58 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 26 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 26 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 26 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 6 Day (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

MGLFS Week 1 (Making Good Lunch For School)

 

Went camping. Canoeing and hiking rocked, the rain did not. Had a damn good weekend!

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Day 19 -- 05/27/19

FOG 82 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 82 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 112 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 59 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 27 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 27 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 27 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 7 Day (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

MGLFS Week 1 (Making Good Lunch For School)

 

One/some amazing thing(s) about today!

1) I went to a laboratory and learned how to make aspirin, after which I made some. Quite the experience!

2) I learned how to eat sunflower seeds (some guy had some when we were camping over the weekend and I had no clue how to eat them so I bought some today and practiced).

What I am grateful for today

I am grateful that I got to go on an adventure today!

Wake up time

6:20

Getting to bed before 10pm

 10:30. Up reading on my iPod.

Reading

-- 

Workout

--

Meditation 

--

Spanish

Spent 15 minutes on Duolingo. Worked on the following categories (Family, Restaurant) and did some revision.

Outdoors time

Walked to and from school.

Typing

Spent 10 minutes typing.

Homework

Did some calculus homework.

What went well today

Got to go to a laboratory and make aspirin. Was a very interesting experience and got to spend the day on a road trip with some good friends (travelling to and from the lab).

What I could have done better today

Meditation. Reading. Studying more calculus. 

What I will do differently tomorrow // What I'm doing tomorrow

Meditation. Reading. Finishing my math. // Going to school. Cleaning and returning my tent from the camping trip. Studying for my calculus test on Wednesday.

How I felt today

I felt really good! No cravings at all and it was a really interesting and engaging day!

My (New) Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. 

Weekly Goals

- Learning how to eat sunflower seeds.

- Learning how to tie a bowline knot.

- Acing my calculus test.

- Acing my chemistry test.

- Doing some meditation (I've been slacking on this lately).

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

- Finishing Anna Karenina before getting back from my trip in July.

Edited by George Wyatt
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Day 20 -- 05/28/19

FOG 83 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 83 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 113 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 60 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 28 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 28 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 28 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 8 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

 

 

One/some amazing thing(s) about today!

1) Ran a new PR of 1:13 for the 400m!

2) Chatted with a group of people throughout 5th period.

What I am grateful for today

Today, I am grateful that I am on this journey of self improvement and have a sense of purpose ?.

Wake up time

7:08

Getting to bed before 10pm

10:30

Reading

-- 

Workout

50 minute track practice (Peaks : 1:13 for the 400m, 0:35 for the 200m).

15 minutes jump rope at PA.

10 minutes stretching at PA.

10 minutes stretching after track.

Meditation 

--

Spanish

Spent 15 minutes on Duolingo reviewing all the material I have covered so far.

Outdoors time

Walking to and from school. (30 mins)

Running to the track. (5 mins)

1 hour at the track.

Walking back from the track. (10 mins)

Went outside for half an hour with some friends at lunch. Sophia and Stephanie put my flexibility to shame ?.

Typing

Spent 15 minutes typing.

Homework

Studied calculus at 2nd, 3rd and a little at 5th period. Also studied calculus for 5 minutes at lunch and at home for an hour.

What went well today

I spent some time chatting with people, studied my calculus and went to track. Also returned the tent and took my sister downtown to return some books. All in all, a good day.

What I could have done better today

I got up late and didn't meditate or read. Although I know that I needed the sleep, as I've been very busy and haven't gotten much in the last couple days, it would have been nice to spend some time on these.

What I will do differently tomorrow // What I'm doing tomorrow

Get up at 6:20. Meditate. Read. Walk to school. Nail my calculus test. Study chemistry for the test on Friday. Go to kickboxing. // Getting the math test done. Then enjoying my day and preparing for Friday.

How I felt today

Stressed for tomorrow's math test. Minor sexual cravings in the afternoon. Bit behind in my classes which has me worried, but I need to study for my upcoming tests before catching up. Felt good today overall. Really enjoyed track and going outside with friends at lunch.

My (New) Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. 

Weekly Goals

- Learning how to eat sunflower seeds.

- Learning how to tie a bowline knot (and then tying a couple hundred of them).

- Acing my calculus test.

- Acing my chemistry test.

- Doing some meditation (I've been slacking on this lately).

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

- Finishing Anna Karenina before getting back from my trip in July.

Edited by George Wyatt
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Day 21 -- 05/29/19

FOG 84 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 84 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 114 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 61 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 29 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 29 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 29 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 9 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

 

 

One/some amazing thing(s) about today!

1) Went biking with my dad.

What I am grateful for today

Today, I am grateful that I feel confident.

Wake up time

6:20

Getting to bed before 9:30pm

10:25

Reading

Workout

Went for an hour long bike ride with my dad.

Spent 5 minutes stretching.

Meditation 

Spanish

Spent 30 minutes on Duolingo. Reviewed previous lessons and worked on Travel 2, Greetings 1 and People 2.

Outdoors time

Walking to and from school. (30 mins)

Went outside for 5 minutes at lunch. 

Went for a bike ride for an hour with my dad.

Typing

Spent 20 minutes typing.

Homework

What went well today

I got through my calculus test and feel like I did pretty well. I practiced some bowline knots, went for a bike ride with my dad and just generally enjoyed my day.

What I could have done better today

Reading. Meditation. Homework. Going to bed earlier. Not procrastinating in the evening.

What I will do differently tomorrow // What I'm doing tomorrow

Meditation. Studying Chemistry. // Meditation. Track. Studying Chemistry.

How I felt today

I felt fairly good today! In the afternoon I procrastinated from doing housecleaning and homework and went to bed late when I didn't need to, which made me feel a little annoyed. That said, I was busy looking up dating advice, which frankly I could probably use since I'm single, I've never been in a relationship and am 17. On the flip side, I go to a small school, so everyone knows everyone and I don't know if it would be a good idea to be dating even though I feel up for trying it.

My (New) Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. 

Weekly Goals

- Learning how to eat sunflower seeds.

- Learning how to tie a bowline knot (and then tying a couple hundred of them).

- Acing my calculus test. 

- Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:00.

- Doing some meditation (I've been slacking on this lately).

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

- Finishing Anna Karenina before getting back from my trip in July.

Edited by George Wyatt
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Day 22 -- 05/30/19

FOG 85 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 85 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 115 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 62 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 30 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 30 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 30 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 10 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

 

 

One/some amazing thing(s) about today!

1) Went for a run with my dad!

What I am grateful for today

Today, I am grateful that I am accepted by those around me.

Wake up time

6:10

Getting to bed before 9:30pm

 

Reading

Read Anna Karenina for 15 minutes in the morning.

Workout

Did a 5 minutes workout in the morning.

Threw a frisbee around for 10 minutes at the PA.

Volleyed a volleyball for 20 minutes at the PA.

Went for a 25 minute jog with my dad after school.

Meditation 

Spent 10 minutes doing silent meditation in the morning. Still getting comfortable with sitting cross legged for so long.

Spanish

Spent half an hour on Duolingo. Worked on the following categories : People 2, People 3, Greetings. To top it off I did some overall review.

Outdoors time

Walked to and from school.

Went for a 25 minute jog.

Typing

Spent 25 minutes typing. Focusing on my accuracy is still yielding much better results than focusing on speed.

Homework

Did Calculus homework at first and second period. Did Physics homework at third period.

What went well today

I really enjoyed my morning! I got up early, meditated, read, did some Spanish and exercised. At school I got a lot of homework done, chatted with friends at lunch and practiced some team sports at PA. I also played Uno at 5th period, since we were done with the course material. It was a lot of fun! After school, I went for a run with my dad which was great! 

What I could have done better today

Doing homework in the afternoon.

What I will do differently tomorrow // What I'm doing tomorrow

Read something other than Anna Karenina in the morning (it's getting a bit stale...) // Trying a new morning routine. Going to school. Going to kickboxing.

How I felt today

I felt great all the way until the afternoon. Didn't know what to do with myself when I got back from running with my dad. Spent most of the afternoon just passing time without any real intent or purpose. It didn't feel very good. I felt empty and kind of lost as though I was drifting.

My (New) Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. 

Weekly Goals

- Learning how to eat sunflower seeds.

- Learning how to tie a bowline knot (and then tying a couple hundred of them).

- Acing my calculus test. 

- Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:00.

- Doing some meditation (I've been slacking on this lately).

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

- Finishing Anna Karenina before getting back from my trip in July.

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Day 23 -- 05/31/19

FOG 86 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 86 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 116 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 63 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 31 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 31 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 31 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 11 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

 

 

One/some amazing thing(s) about today!

1) I felt incredible in Calculus class today! Got while ahead of the rest of the class on the work and felt super focused!

What I am grateful for today

I am grateful for the lovely weather we had today!

Wake up time

6:05

Getting to bed before 9:30pm

10:20

Reading

Spent 20 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins.

Workout

Spent 5 minutes jumping rope at PA.

Ran sprints for 20 minutes (Peaks // 1:18 for 400m // 3:34 for 1km).

Meditation 

Spent 10 minutes doing silent meditation in the morning. Still getting comfortable with sitting cross legged for so long.

Spanish

Spent 10 minutes on Duolingo doing Spanish review.

Outdoors time

Walked to and from school.

Typing

15 minutes of typing. Really good accuracy.

Homework

What went well today

Did some good work in Calculus class. Talked to some friends at lunch. Finished my essay for french class. Went for a good run.

What I could have done better today

I just didn't get much done in the afternoon. 

What I will do differently tomorrow // What I'm doing tomorrow

 

How I felt today

I followed my morning routine quite well today. I felt great in Calculus class and managed to get a lot of math done at school. Talked to some friends at lunch about different ways of learning and acquiring habits (inborn vs acquired and biological/instinct vs logical). 

My (New) Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. 

Weekly Goals

- Learning how to eat sunflower seeds.

- Learning how to tie a bowline knot (and then tying a couple hundred of them).

- Acing my calculus test. 

- Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:00.

- Doing some meditation (I've been slacking on this lately).

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

- Finishing Anna Karenina before getting back from my trip in July.

Edited by George Wyatt
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7 minutes ago, George Wyatt said:

FOE 1 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

1

Why free of earbuds?  But, nice job you already are FOG for 86 days I started my journey 3 days ago.

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Thanks Dig! I'm glad to hear that you've made it 3 days along! The first couple really do matter, but once you get past them and you find new things you become a lot more comfortable. As for the earbuds, I've noticed that I have minor ringing (like a weak tinnitus) in my ears stemming (I think) from listening to loud music with earbuds. Your ears can only handle so much at once and earbuds concentrate that sound straight to your ear. So in order to try to rectify this problem I'm not using them at all. This also allows me to be more mindful when I walk to and from school since I'm not listening to music and is also great for sleep because I would usually listen to ASMR (I don't like the idea of being dependant on technology in order to get to sleep, even though I used it for a while).

Long story short, earbuds are something that I can live without and from which I don't really reap any benefits, so I feel comfortable discarding them.

I wish you well on your journey! Keep it up 'cause you're doing great ?

Edited by George Wyatt
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After nearly three months of being clean, I feel the need to take some time to reflect on where I am in my journey and what I need to do now in order to move forward. I'm going to use bullet points to help pour out all my thoughts.

- I am now addicted to typing. I'm getting the same hit off of it as I did from gaming and I'm using it to escape. I don't use it nearly as much as I did gaming, but I need to stop.

- In order to move forward, I need to start becoming Internet free. Surfing the Internet is becoming one of my escapes because I am often bored (and I'm often bored because I am dodging homework).

  •  Going outside more will help me deal with this problem. Even if it means walking around for hours on end, at least I will not be inside at a computer screen.
  •  I will track the time that I spend on the Internet.
  •  I'm going to remove all of the Internet accessing devices in my room from said room.
  •  I will now only enter the office if I have school work or am working on Spanish.
  •  I will make this change gradually so that I don't shock my system.

- I feel as though my nutrition is quite strong, but it would be good to begin making healthy lunches again (I'm currently eating bread, cheese and fruit for food at school. Last week, I made quinoa salad and it was well worth it).

- I know that social skills are currently one of my weakest areas and that I need to work on developing them. Being a gamer has taken away from my social development and I know that I will need to work hard if I want to be more socially competent. 

- Reading Anna Karenina has become stale and I am losing the will to read in the morning because of it. I need to either spend more time reading so that I can get through these monster books more easily or move on to new books. Some self help books would be great!

- I want to acquire a variety of new skills and have made lists upon lists of ideas. Now I can start trying them out! I'm thinking yoga or calligraphy might be good for a next step. Music also holds quite an interest for me, however I have no formal training as of yet.

- I want to become comfortable with being bored, as I am currently not and am using screens to escape my boredom.

- I would be better off if I spent more time doing homework, even if this just means some regular studying in the evenings.

 

- I am loving running and it is one of the high points of my day + sprinting has only made it better!

- I am deeply appreciative of the progress that I have made. Three months have gone by like a blur and I feel like I'm truly only beginning to grow! What an incredible experience...

- I am so glad that I no longer from the ups and downs that come with playing video games and porn and fapping. Having consistent, albeit less high, dopamine levels is great and I would suggest it to anyone. It is as though a fog has been lifted in my mind and for the first time in a long time I can see myself and the world around me with clear eyes. Yes, it's intimidating, but that's the point. Knowing now that I am better equipped to face what comes my way is truly uplifting and allows me to get more out of life. All in all, this journey has been 100% worth it at every turn.

- I am enjoying exploring new things, even though I am often lost at the start. Once I get past those first couple steps, I face challenges that satisfy me and make me happy. 

 

A couple links that are currently really helping me deal with boredom and contemplate where I stand as a whole : 

 

Even though I've only been using Game Quitters as an outlet for less than a month, I would like to thank everyone here for providing encouragement and suggestions that have allowed me to move forwards with this journey. Without you guys, I would not have made it this far.

That's it for me, I'm going to bed now. Wishing everyone the best! Good night.

Edited by George Wyatt
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Day 24 -- 06/01/19

FOG 87 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 87 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 117 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 64 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 32 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 32 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 32 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 12 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

NT 1 Day (No Typing) (Not playing typing games)

 

Report on where I currently stand 

I had quite the epiphany today.

After reading an hour of Can't Hurt Me, I followed challenges #1 and #2 from the book. Writing out what my baggage was as a person and also writing out a blunt as hell list of my weaknesses was liberating. Afterwards, I felt more at peace with myself than I have in a long time. I felt that I could accept my flaws as they were and that I could overcome them in the future.

Further into the day, I spent some time really contemplating what my biggest challenge is in my life. I determined that my biggest obstacle is learning to embrace uncertainty and learning that it is ok to not be in control.

For my whole life, I have been in control. Whenever I faced something that was out of my control, I would run or panic. I feel safe when I'm in control. But being in control doesn't allow you to grow as a person and that's what I'm here to do; grow as a person. So in order to continue on my journey, I need to learn how to be less uptight, learn to go with the flow, learn that not everything should be planned ahead of time. I need to learn to stop judging people and to accept them as they are and to embrace the unknown that comes with that reality. A reality where I don't necessarily understand everything. Isn't that what life is about? That old proverb "Live and learn" exists for a reason right? And I've been neglecting that. So that's what I'm going to do now. I'm going to go out there and try things. I'm tempted to say consequences be damned, yet I know that's not entirely true. But at the very least, I'm going to get out of my comfort zone and start working my way into the real world.

What I am grateful for today

Today I am grateful that I live in a home where I am loved and treated with respect.

Wake up time

6:20

Getting to bed before 9:30pm

10:30

Reading

Spent an hour reading Can't Hurt Me by David Goggins.

Workout

Meditation 

Spanish

Spent 10 minutes on Duolingo studying : Schedule and Travel 2.

Outdoors time

Homework

What happened today

I woke up and delved into Can't Hurt Me. Followed through with the challenges suggested in the book. Then I got a call from work (I am currently working part-time at Shopper's) asking me to come in from 10-5. I went to work and contemplated life and myself quite a bit while I was there. I drove back home and then did some reading about self development. I worked on some Spanish and then ate supper with my Dad. Afterwards we watched a movie and now I'm writing this. All in all, a pretty good day.

What I could have done better today

I could have gotten some homework done.

What I'm doing tomorrow

 

My Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty.

Weekly Goals

- Going to bed before 10:00 and waking up at 6:20.

- Doing some meditation.

- Acing my Chemistry test.

- Acing my Physics test.

- Doing something fun and spontaneous!

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Lightening up and trying new things.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

Edited by George Wyatt
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Day 25 -- 06/02/19

FOG 88 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 88 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 118 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 65 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 33 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 33 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 33 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 13 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

NT 2 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games)

S30PIU 1 Day (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami)

 

Report on where I currently stand 

Doing well. Spent less than 30 minutes on the Internet (other than Duolingo and learning some origami for 20 mins). It was weird having so much time on my hands, but it also made me take things slower and not rush through daily tasks, instead enjoying them in a much deeper way. The best example of this today was my run. With the added time, instead of doing a short 2 minute warm-up, running and then a 2 minute cooldown, I walked a couple kilometers, warmed up quickly, ran for over an hour, stretched afterwards for over half an hour and then walked another couple kilometers. This feeling of having all the time in the world is so odd, because I have so many options to choose from and the time to do most of them. It's a great feeling.

What I am grateful for today

Today I am grateful that my city has wonderful running trails.

Wake up time

7:40 (was up late last night so I didn't set an alarm)

Getting to bed before 9:30pm

 

Reading

Spent 15 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the morning.

Workout

70 minutes running before lunch (The goal was to run a sub 5 minute/km pace for an hour and ten minutes. I ran at a 4:44 pace overall, completing 14,8km in 70 minutes flat.).

35 minutes stretching after the run.

35 minutes playing volleyball with my sister.

Meditation 

Spanish

Spent 45 minutes on Duolingo in the morning. Worked on (Schedule, School 2, Family 2 and Emotions).

Spent 15 minutes on Duolingo in the evening doing revision.

Outdoors time

Spent 3 hours outside from 11 to 2pm (walk, warm up, run, cooldown, stretching, walk)

Spent 35 minutes in the evening volleying a volleyball with my sister in our backyard.

Homework

What happened today

Woke up late. Did some Duolingo. Read Can't Hurt Me for a bit. This got me pumped up to go for a hard run. Went for a run. Stretched after and then walked home. I was really tired haha. Jelly legs. Anyways, after that I had lunch, cleaned the basement and took a 40 minute nap. Then, I did some origami for 20 minutes (Failed spectacularly to make a lily. Maybe I should start with something easier...), did some Duolingo revision and had supper. Afterwards, I went up to work to request time off for an upcoming trip and then came home and did the dishes. Now I'm writing this before I go to bed (it's currently 9:51 so I should skedaddle). 

What I could have done better today

I could have gotten some homework done.

What I'm doing tomorrow

Studying Chemistry.

My Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty.

Weekly Goals

- Going to bed before 10:00 and waking up at 6:20.

- Doing some meditation.

- Acing my Chemistry test.

- Acing my Physics test.

- Doing something fun and spontaneous!

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Lightening up and trying new things.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

Edited by George Wyatt
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I don't know, haven't tried it yet ?. But it seems interesting enough. Probably dull at the start as you continuously fail to produce quality results, but after a time I'm sure that with practice the quality and speed of your writing would improve without even including the value of the calligraphy itself in other things.

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Day 26 -- 06/03/19

FOG 89 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 89 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 119 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 66 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 34 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 34 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 34 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 14 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

NT 3 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games)

S30PIU 2 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami)

 

Report on where I currently stand 

Feeling good. Enjoying this very much, even though I am more tired than usual. Not much to report. One thing that I tried today that worked really well was being more passive in conversations (especially in group conversation) and thinking about the impact of my words before speaking. This added to my exhaustion, but was well worth it as I felt that I was allowing people to speak freely and not intimidating them.

What I am grateful for today

Today I am grateful for the existence of Game Quitters.

Wake up time

6:20

Getting to bed before 9:30pm

9:35

Reading

Spent 35 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the morning.

Workout

15 minutes jumping rope at the PA.

20 minutes stretching at the PA.

30 minute run with my dad after school (5k).

5 minute walk post-run.

10 minutes practicing volleyball on my own in the backyard in the evening (did this instead giving into the urge to watch TV ?).

5 minutes on the monkey bars in the evening.

Meditation 

Spanish

Spent 20 minutes on Duolingo in the evening doing working on (Shopping).

Outdoors time

Walking to and from school.

Everything in the Workout section (with the exception of jumping rope and stretching at the PA).

Homework

What happened today

Read in the morning. Walked to school. Went to Calculus until I had to leave for a doctor's appointment. Got back at the end of 2nd period (missed Biology). In Physics I worked on some chemistry. At lunch I chatted with people (tried being more passive in conversation). In French I just did some Chemistry and briefly did an interview for one of the local radio stations (class activity). At the PA (break period) I jumped rope for 15 minutes and then stretched for 20. At 5th I just worked on Chemistry. Walked home with my sister at the end of the school day.

Upon arriving home, my dad and I laced up and went for a run. Then I did some Duolingo and research on running nutrition. Picked my sister up from singing, had supper and then went outside for 15 minutes (volleyball + monkey bars). Afterwards I spent an hour helping my sister with her math homework and now I am writing this. Going to have a snack and then go to bed.

What I could have done better today

I could have gotten some homework done after school.

What I'm doing tomorrow

Studying Chemistry.

My Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty.

Weekly Goals

- Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:20.

- Doing some meditation.

- Acing my Chemistry test.

- Acing my Physics test.

- Doing something fun and spontaneous!

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Lightening up and trying new things.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

Edited by George Wyatt
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Day 27 -- 06/04/19

FOG 90 Days (Free Of Gaming) ? ? ?

FOF 90 Days (Free Of Fapping) ? ? ?

FOP 120 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 67 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 35 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 35 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 35 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 15 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

NT 4 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games)

S30PIU 3 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami)

 

Report on where I currently stand 

We did it! 90 Days! I can't believe that it's been three months... I feel like a whole new person after all this time. I feel as though my mind is mine now and that no one can take that away from me. It feels great! I've enjoyed coming this far and I'm not going to let up. Gaming and fapping might not be my biggest obstacles any longer, but there are still loads of things that I can improve on as an individual. I'm ready to keep moving forward ?.

What I am grateful for today

Today I am grateful that I've gotten this far. I'm also grateful that I have the opportunity to keep going and to discover myself and my potential even further, as well as being able to enjoy the world more and help others.

Wake up time

6:20

Getting to bed before 9:30pm

9:45

Reading

Spent 20 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the morning.

Workout

40 minutes running (Running to the track, 200m, 400m, 600m, 400m, 200m).

10 minutes stretching in the evening.

5 minutes volleying a volleyball with my sister.

Meditation 

Spanish

Spent 20 minutes on Duolingo in the evening doing working on (School, People).

Outdoors time

Walking to and from school.

40 minutes running.

20 minutes walking (walking back from the track).

Homework

What happened today

Read in the morning. Went to the hospital for bloodwork. Walked to school.

1st Period : Worked on Integrals. Got my test back. 98% ?!

2nd Period : Studied chemistry and took some quick notes for bio class.

3rd Period : Teacher was absent. Studied chemistry.

Lunch : Chatted with some friends (tried being passive in conversation again) and studied chemistry.

4th Period : Went to the theater and did the lighting for the drama class's practice (the play is next week).

PA : Finished up at the theater and then went to chemistry class to study more.

5th Period : Chemistry test. I think it went well. Maybe 1 or 2 mistakes, nothing major.

Walked home. Upon arriving home, I went up to the track for practice but no one was there, so I just did an interval workout. Walked home after. Went outside to play volleyball with my sister while my dad finished up supper. Ate and then went to my sister's concert. It started late, which gave us the opportunity to chat with people for half an hour in the antechamber. After the concert, I spent 10 minutes reading Anna Karenina while they cleaned up. Went home. Spent 20 minutes on Duolingo. Looked up some running nutrition. Now I'm typing this (9:04), going to have a snack after and then call it a night.

What I could have done better today

I could have gotten some homework done after school.

What I'm doing tomorrow

Studying Physics.

My Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty.

Weekly Goals

- Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:20.

- Doing some meditation.

- Acing my Chemistry test. 

- Acing my Physics test.

- Doing something fun and spontaneous!

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Lightening up and trying new things.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

Edited by George Wyatt
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Day 28 -- 06/05/19

FOG 91 Days (Free Of Gaming)

FOF 91 Days (Free Of Fapping)

FOP 121 Days (Free Of Porn)

CR 68 Days (Clean Room)

FOSAS 36 Days (Free Of Sugar Added Snacks) (Avoiding added sugar as much as possible, this includes foregoing dessert)

FOYT 36 Days (Free Of YouTube)

WF 36 Days (Drinking water first thing in the morning)

FOE 16 Days (Free Of Earbuds) (With the exception of guided meditation)

NT 5 Days (No Typing) (Not playing typing games)

S30PIU 4 Days (Sub 30 minutes personal Internet use) (This excludes Duolingo, school work and any other truly purposeful use of the Internet, such as practicing origami)

 

Report on where I currently stand 

Felt good today. My legs were tired from running and needed a rest day. Lifted weights and watched TV for the first time in a while. Wasn't sure whether I was ready for TV or if I would get sucked in and binge. Felt the urge after finishing the episode, but resisted it. 

Thought about doing yoga as cross training when my legs get tired instead of weights.

What I am grateful for today

Today I am grateful that I have good friends.

Wake up time

6:20

Getting to bed before 9:30pm

9:40

Reading

Spent 35 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the morning.

Spent 25 minutes reading Can't Hurt Me in the evening.

Workout

40 minutes lifting weights in the evening.

Meditation 

Spanish

Spent 30 minutes on Duolingo in the evening doing working on (School, Work) and some revision.

Outdoors time

Walking to and from school.

Homework

Spent 40 minutes studying Physics in the evening.

What happened today

Read in the morning. Walked to school.

1st Period : Worked on Integrals.

2nd Period : Organized some of my folders. Took some Biology notes and worked on Integrals.

3rd Period : Teacher was absent. Studied physics.

Lunch : Chatted with some friends (tried being passive in conversation again).

4th Period : Went outside for the period. We were supposed to work on a written comprehension pack, but everyone just chatted. Was a nice social activity.

No PA (Wednesday)

5th Period : Got to class. Our teacher was at the printer down the hall. Half the class hid in the closet (there's a big closet with a door that's adjacent to the class). Our teacher came back and didn't notice that they were gone. Everyone was giggling their butts off. When she figured it out, she suggested that the half of the class that wasn't in the closet hide down the hall (because the people in the closet didn't know that she'd realized). Hence, we hid down the hall and they came looking for us. It was hilarious hearing them coming out of the closet, wondering where we'd gone and freaking out. Eventually they found us. Then we all went back to class and got to work on a lab report discussion about antacids. 

After School : Walked home. Upon arriving home, I helped my dad put up the new TV for my parents bedroom. Answered some email. Spent some time on Duolingo. Called my mom (she's out of the country for work) and submitted and application to mentor new students next year. I also called the doctor's office about my bloodwork. Ate supper and then read for a time. Then I did some Physics and lifted weights while watching "Designated Survivor". I'm typing this at 9:22.

What I could have done better today

Meditation.

What I'm doing tomorrow

Studying Physics.

My Monthly Goal

Maintaining and further developing the habits that I have managed to build over the last two months. Letting go of noting down the amount of time that I spend on things and just letting myself live now that I have a fairly solid arsenal of good habits. Instead, keep track and hold myself accountable through journaling. Allowing myself to try new things and lightening up. Embracing the uncertainty.

Weekly Goals

- Going to bed before 9:30 and waking up at 6:20.

- Doing some meditation.

- Acing my Chemistry test. 

- Acing my Physics test.

- Doing something fun and spontaneous!

Current Goals

- Running a sub 3 minute kilometer before I leave for my trip in June.

- Lightening up and trying new things.

- Passing 11th grade with a 96% average or higher (our grades are crazy inflated and I currently have ~97% average).

Edited by George Wyatt
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