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LordFederickRamsay

Need Advise - 5 Months I've stopped but BIG URGES return to relapse

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Hi,

 

I haven't gamed or watched any game-related videos or adverts for FIVE months...I'm experiencing the worst of it right now. I just want to game so fucking badly. It's insane. I'm like moments away from touching my computer (although I sold my mouse, mouse mat and uninstalled/deleted games and computer accounts). I need some reassuring words or maybe some advice. I don't understand what is going on. I thought I was supposed to be over it by now. I have ADHD and some mental health issues so take that into consideration if you're planning on replying to this topic. 

I'm super frustrated, sexually, socially - I don't get the same feeling from ANYTHING that I did from games. I was so good at games as well (like semi-pro at Fortnite) and I played it with my best friend that doubled the fun..

 

I need to remember the shit bits of gaming - the lack of sleep, the unconscious regret, the lack of socialising, bad mental health, embarrassed, sad, addicted.

 

Another thing you should take into consideration is I suffer from intrusive thoughts (psychological condition to do with OCD) so this emphasises why I played games so much and why I want to play them again because the thoughts are relentless and horrible to live through and like 50% of my thoughts are I.T. 

 

Please for the love of god, someone help.

Edited by LordFederickRamsay

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Five months is a long time, you have willpower and you are capable of beating the cravings to play. I know it is hard when mental issues make you your own enemy, but gaming can only make it worse. If you play now, it won't ease the pain. You cannot get away from yourself, and all your frustration will come back as soon as you finish playing. For some people games became a drug, a powerful one. But it is a drug, not a remedy. Games can be a depressant for those struggling with mental issues, they only mask a problem instead of solving it.

There are good things and bad things about gaming, accept it, but deep inside you know that it is time to move on from that experience. We all are going through the same problems and you are not alone in your struggles.

As for intrusive thoughts, try to find an activity that demands concentration, like meditation, yoga, solving puzzles, learning something completely new for you. Even making lists can be helpful. Try to think of the positive changes in your life and make a list. It mighy be hard at first but changing focus of your concentration is important. 

And you should never forget that you can do everything. You can deal with cravings. You can deal with everything.

I wish you luck on your journey. Keep fighting the good fight.

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Looks like one of the roots of the issue you have with gaming is your social relationship situation. As you say you're "super frustrated sexually, socially", you have to do something about that other than turning to video games. Join a fitness class. Go to group art lessons. Enroll in night classes somewhere. Anyway, the point is get out there. Good luck.

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Gaming is an escape for you, and your brain is trying to rationalize and justify your cravings. Concentrate on other things, concentrate on your new identity of not a gamer. Work on skills that support that identity. There will be bad days, there is no escape from that and you might relapse for a day. That is no problem, we are not perfect. But the thing is, to get back on the horse, and keep on going, if you do that then the relapse was not important at all. Remember, bad days will come and go!! Stay true to your vision, and don't escape to games. There is no future there, just as there is no future in alcohol o other drugs. They are very seductive, and an very dangerous place to escape to, but in truth they are the real prison.

You should escape from games, not to them. They do the most harm, life will hit you, but it will make you stronger. Games will keep you weak and dependent. And sooner or later, they will make you feel even worse than you feel right now. And you know this, that is why you quit in the first place, isn't it?

Be strong, and remember to make it hard for yourself to play games. Think of all the harm they do to you, make them as little attractive as possible. Be proud of yourself for staying away for so long. They were fun, nothing else, they are not part of your life anymore, leave them behind.

Good luck.

 

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Thanks for the replies. 

I managed not to relapse.

I'll revert to reading these replies if my cravings ever return (which I'm sure they will). 

To be honest (although I'm trying to remain optimistic), my cravings at the moment are constant i.e I am experiencing them right now. 

I think it comes from being bored, unoccupied and living at home where my computer is. 

@Catherine17 What good things come from gaming? 

 

 

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I've been game free for just over 7 months, and the last week has been so hard for me in terms of cravings.

I just want to play all the games I used to waste my time on, and the urge is so strong.

Apparently, it's my way of trying to escape from the increased workload and pressure I'm facing in my life right now, as gaming was my coping mechanism in the past when things were getting too tough

All I can do is keep working, and keep trying as hard as physically possible to not return to gaming.

Even if I try to play in moderation, I try to remind myself how TERRIBLE it was the last time I tried. And, all of the hard work I've done over the last 7 months will be wasted.

I know the cravings will past. I've beaten it before.

So have you.

You know you're capable of getting through this, and you know it's not going to be easy.

The best thing I can recommend is trying to find some new things to occupy your time with, as you mentioned you're quite bored at the moment.

Try to spend more time outside of the house, if possible. Even if you don't want to, the next time you get cravings force yourself to go for a walk.

Gaming numbed the satisfaction you get from everything else, and unfortunately, the only way to get your brain back to normal is to work hard at it. 

But, that doesn't mean you need to work fast.

It's a long process. A marathon, not a sprint. At the moment, just focus on not gaming and implementing small, manageable changes in your lifestyle that you'll be able to maintain easily.

From there, if you keep that up as much as possible then before you know it you'll be back enjoying the little things in life.

I wish you all the best. Remember, the community is always here if you need!

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@James Good

I needed someone who hadn't played games for a long time to relate to me, so thank you James.

I'm having very strong cravings at the moment and it is very hard to think coherently. Therefore, I'm going back to university sooner than expected. I'll keep you guys updated if things get bad again. 

It's been up and down this past month but this forum has helped in preventing me from relapsing. 

Cheers,

George

 

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Hey,

I experienced this recently and actually gave in to my cravings. The main reason why I think that happened for me is because I became badly overwhelmed by this sense of not being good enough now or ever in my pursuit of a career as an author. I basically had a major panic/anxiety attack and retreated to the one thing I KNEW I was good at - video games.

Think about your situation right now, clearly and objectively. Is there something that's going on right now that you're getting down on yourself about, and maybe that's causing you to want to escape back to what you know is comfortable? It may not necessarily be career oriented. It may not even necessarily be something you're aware of. Maybe a good friend or family member said something that hit a nerve with you and you've been carrying that baggage for a while? Maybe there are some things in your life that you've worked really hard to improve, but aren't seeing the results that you've been expecting quite yet?

We have to be so mindful about everything that's going on in our minds. Pay attention to your self talk. If you're experiencing a lot of negativity in your self talk about something, that could absolutely cause what's happening right now. We need to be intentional about being compassionate with ourselves, and if something negative does come up, the best thing to do isn't to try to retreat from it, but rather accept that at some level, there is SOME truth to it, and then try to spin it in a more positive and compassionate way.

Just as an example, when my self talk turns to "I'll never be good enough as an author to be successful", I can accept that some part of that is true, but then reword it as "I'm not good enough right now, but someday I absolutely will be".

Hope that helps!

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I might be the last person that should be giving advice because my life is literally falling apart. Gaming has been a big part of my failure to adapt and overcome. I'm only on my first week of being game free. 

You know what I did the other day. I picked up my guitar that I hadn't touched in 6 months! I'm not really good at it, but I was making progress when I stopped playing before.

I played guitar for several hours. My fingers are so sore. 

In the myriads of ages past, musical instruments were generally the only real TOYS anyone had. Diversion is not evil, but it can be creative and constructive. 

I want to exhort you to consider finding a musical instrument. Get lessons online or in real life with a teacher if you can afford it. Make it your new game. When you crave the worse, pick up your instrument.

Variety of activity is important, but something consistent that tracks progress in one area is also a great stabilizer. 

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