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Hello there...

I have no idea what should I write here... I think that I want to write down my thoughts.

I feel devastated right now and aware at the same time. Aware of wasted time in my life.

I've wasted it not only on video games but on the computer at all. Trying to escape from real life.

I want to change it and I hope that this journal will help me with it.

 

So, today is day zero I think? Like this, 18th February 2019, right? 

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Welcome here !

Your journal will help a lot : it will help you face your real life problems instead of escaping them via video games.

I wish you courage on your journey to more freedom !

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Sooo... I did it so far. I didn't play video games for like couple of hours.

It's day one right now.

19th February 2019. Good morning.

I still wonder how could I replace them. Because right now I feel like I have a lot of time and I feel the void in my life. I don't know what to do and I don't have any idea how to replace video games. Hmm. On the other hand I have some work to do on my job. Well, I think I just have to do it. But I feel completely lost.

Anyways. Thanks for comment of approval Mouxine and Cam Adair. 

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It's okay to relapse. Just give yourself time to think and remove any game related content from you life. You need build new person which go for another street. You need strong why you do this! You need vision of this new guy who can create value in life. Be strong.

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Welcome.

Just try not to blame yourself too hard. I think your problem is that you understand your shortcomings and want to fix it, but you fear uncertain. I felt it too, but found an outlet faster. Just try something, it doesn't need to be something big: start watching some tv series, for example. If you become bored, start reading a book, etc. It's hard for the first time because you are accustomed to gaming. I think, maybe, you have something that you like, but don't treat it as "occupation", more like a "pause" or "relaxation" after gaming. You can do it more if it's not youtube videos with game's content. Be wary of that. Exercising is also a good way to free your mind. You don't need to go to gym directly, just try some jogging(you don't need to run for 2 hours straight from the start) or some stretching. If you don't like it then just forget. Heck, you can even start learning new language or start coding.

Maybe you're in a state you know you need to try something new, but don't want it or feel uncertain. It's the case then you don't need to listen to yourself: trying new things is the right way, it doesn't matter if you abandon it after some time. The points is, you won't be gaming and your mind won't be occupied with gaming.

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Hey people, I feel better with your words of encouragement. Thanks for that.

This day I spent without video games. I'm grateful for 1 day of abstinence. No games, no procrastination on the Internet. It's tough, but I will manage. One day at a time.

Also. I decided to go to the CGAA meeting to listen to other addicts. It was good step for me. I feel like I need it in my recovery.

 

I planned tomorrow and I want to stick to this plan. Wish me best.

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I woke up today and I slept for almost 10 hours! Wow, I was so exhausted for a lot of gaming. 

Hmm... I have to stick to my plan.

My plan for today as the question of Deku asks me is to work for a couple of hours, do some cleaning in my house and also some researching and studying. Also, I want to cook dinner today instead of ordering it. Ah, and I can't forget about coming to CGAA meeting.

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Yesterday, I did most of the things I planned. Zero procrastination, a lot of work and some housework were done. Also, I attended to CGAA meeting.

Today, I have an important exam. I hope I'll pass it. Wish me luck.

 

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