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AndrewPekarsky

The first journal of an 18 year old university student

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Hey Guys,

My name is Andrew and I've been on the verge of quitting games for probably three years now. I was initially motivated by an understanding that I was a completely dysfunctional 15-year-old, but since then I've improved myself drastically. I started working out effectively, managed to snag good grades for the last two years of high school, and made more friends then I could possibly need, but lately I can feel my old habits creeping back into my life. My main purpose with these journals is to try to revive the initial drive that brought me to this point and I firmly believe that quitting games permanently is naturally the next step. Quitting games isn't the only thing I want to commit to here. I believe that video streaming and pornography are equally as damaging so I'm also committing to life without them. What I want from this endeavor is more focus and a greater quality of life. I'm already firmly engaged in lots of clubs, in a relationship, and doing quite well; I just need to cut these toxic things out of my life because while I can function with them in my life, I can be 100x greater with them gone.

To reiterate I'm cutting out games, video streaming, and pornography. This is a permanent change that I hope can become fundamental for me. 

 

I wish luck to everyone else here, I've tried this detox thing before and I can't remember a streak that lasted more than a month. What makes this different is the stakes are higher (my marks actually mean something now). 

I'll keep this up on the daily, see you guys tomorrow:)

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Good luck man, just remember that its usually more effective to change one habit at a time! If you slip up, maybe consider just quitting video games for now, and once you have a handle on that, go for the porn and videos. 

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4 hours ago, marcopolobus said:

Good luck man, just remember that its usually more effective to change one habit at a time! If you slip up, maybe consider just quitting video games for now, and once you have a handle on that, go for the porn and videos. 

Thanks man; I think I'll cut videos out of the changes for now since it's the lesser of the evils for me but I think the others are too connected to deal with them separately. 

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Today went a long way towards establishing how the future is going to look for me. I was very productive, but with porn and video games absent I can already feel the withdrawal kicking in. Several times today I found my mind wandering in unproductive ways, and while I was able to easily fend off the urges, this commitment is still fresh and exciting. I hope that these journals can keep this feeling from waning, but what can transform this challenge into a lifestyle is concrete discipline. That's why I took the time to vacuum, dust, and reorganize my room. My hope is that if I normalize just doing a good job from the start then it'll brew discipline. Anyways today went quite well, I was mostly focused on my studying, talked to my friends on the phone, and clean up. If I stay on this path I think my future looks quite bright.

Exam tomorrow, gonna get a great night of sleep:)

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Day two went quite well. Focus could be improved but other than that I got out of the house and spent the whole day studying. What I noticed today was my emotions felt stronger, an indication that the brain fog is starting to lift and I can once again feel the natural cues that my brain is giving me. I have to seriously watch this because the first week of no fap and no gaming for me is usually characterized by a rise in aggression and irritation. I'll cut this one short because I have nothing serious to report, but I'm feeling pumped.  

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Have to keep this one short because of an exam tomorrow. Today was quite good, managed to get 100% on my last test and spent some quality time with my girlfriend.  I slipped up in the morning by catching up with some of the results from the Cs go major. I can't take this lightly, it's always the esport side of things that triggers my hunger to play so I installed blockers on my laptop. Hopefully it'll steer me clear of danger. 

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