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Speaking of wake-up calls...Even if you think about your situation that way, it is a wake-up call. The thing is that talented or not we will never 'fail enough'. We will never be visited by a friendly murderer next door, who'll tell us how valuable our life is. We should figure it out ourselves.

Take all the time you need to recover and remember that you can always return and we will be waiting for you.

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On 3/14/2019 at 6:51 PM, Silverlining said:

If you have suicidal thoughts, you really need to see a therapist

Bahh, I'm still very far from that don't worry! 

On 3/14/2019 at 9:01 PM, karabas said:

I do get the sense from you that when you're on the detox, you're always "going". It doesn't seem like you allow yourself any downtime. It's like you always have to be doing something: gym, school, pickup, whatever. I think that's part of the problem of our modern lives: we're always plugged in and always trying to "maximize" our daily "efficiency". Our brains need down time. I'm Muslim so I end up grabbing at least 25-30 minutes a day by virtue of the daily prayers + some more time because of my spiritual routines. Whatever it is, I think you need to work in some down time for yourself. Think of it as a time investment.

 

I've noticed this as well. I think it can be one of the reasons why I go back to shit-mode so frequently, but it's weird because when I'm detoxing, I'm not FORCING myself to do all those things. It's what I genuinely want to do - I genuinely want to be productive all the time, be social all the time, squeeze every minute of the day towards progressing myself. Going to the gym for example, I never give myself specific goals and don't use any like motivation techniques to force myself to go. When I'm detoxing and I'm feeling good, I want to do some exercise because it makes me feel even better. So I don't know - should I actually force myself to slow down? Seems counter-intuitive. 

On 3/14/2019 at 10:02 PM, Catherine17 said:

Speaking of wake-up calls...Even if you think about your situation that way, it is a wake-up call. The thing is that talented or not we will never 'fail enough'. We will never be visited by a friendly murderer next door, who'll tell us how valuable our life is. We should figure it out ourselves.

Take all the time you need to recover and remember that you can always return and we will be waiting for you.

True. But you know how in the movies there is always some big event that triggers action? Something epic, something super dramatic like the protagonist losing their job AND getting divorced AND the car breaks down AND their dog dies or something, THEN the characters finally says "fuck it" and just goes for it... whatever "it" is. Like the movie American Beauty, have you seen that one? An absolute piece of art. Well actually there is no dramatic event that happens in that one to initiate the life-renewal, but you get the point 😄 

 

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Yeah so to actually update: 

  • still gaming, bad mental state, but not COMPLETELY fucked
  • reversed my sleep 'schedule' back to normal
  • got to my job(monday), but productivity is at like 5%
  • Got in touch with one of my best buddies from my home town, he's also struggling with gaming for years but he doesn't get into depression or solitude and he never committed to a real detox, though he knows he has a problem and tries to 'moderate'. We kinda joked around the fact that we're both super addicted at this very moment and went something like "yeah shit's fucked, let's play LoL tonight". So that's what we're gonna do. I know I shouldn't, but if I don't, I'm just going to play overwatch anyways. Or try to quit again, but I'm having hard time even starting again. I've failed so many goddamn times.. I'd like to see something to give me confidence to keep going beyond a few weeks, but other than completely changing my environment and doing something out of the ordinary like backpacking through europe for 3 months,  I can't see it. I know this is just looking for external solutions, but I just keep doing the same thing detox strategy and failing over and over. Do I even want to quit gaming? Maybe I want to be a gamer my whole life? No, that vision is like a nightmare to me, but the vision of QUITTING gaming is ALSO terrible. What the fuck, brain? I just don't know. I'm going to read through my old journals, maybe I'll see some successful pattern. 
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Hey, welcome back! Glad to see you here again:)

6 hours ago, JustTom said:

Something epic, something super dramatic like the protagonist losing their job AND getting divorced AND the car breaks down AND their dog dies or something, THEN the characters finally says "fuck it" and just goes for it... whatever "it" is.

I got the image, yes. But I think that we may be endlessly going into free fall without ever hitting the bottom. We need to feel that desire of change from within. Life isn't famous for being well-structured like an average movie or a book (or a game). I think American Beauty is about it, about reaching the point where you cannot lie to yourself anymore, when you are ready to move on. At the same time it may seem that life goes on and nothing special happens, it's all about small things and small changes that lead you to the greater ones, pushing you towards grasping this subtle image of happiness and true beauty of life.

Well, I got carried away a bit. 

4 hours ago, JustTom said:

Do I even want to quit gaming? Maybe I want to be a gamer my whole life? No, that vision is like a nightmare to me, but the vision of QUITTING gaming is ALSO terrible

Oh, that is very relatable. I am trying to believe that getting rid of the addiction will help me to get to the good place, but I cannot know for sure. I don't know whether anyone knows. Just stay on your path and never lose trust in yourself. 

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17 hours ago, JustTom said:

I've noticed this as well. I think it can be one of the reasons why I go back to shit-mode so frequently, but it's weird because when I'm detoxing, I'm not FORCING myself to do all those things. It's what I genuinely want to do - I genuinely want to be productive all the time, be social all the time, squeeze every minute of the day towards progressing myself. Going to the gym for example, I never give myself specific goals and don't use any like motivation techniques to force myself to go. When I'm detoxing and I'm feeling good, I want to do some exercise because it makes me feel even better. So I don't know - should I actually force myself to slow down? Seems counter-intuitive. 

Maybe try giving yourself some regular down time and see how it works out? Obviously should be away from computer.

Another thing I realized is the problem may be that you live alone. I made a lot of progress when my wife started working out of the same room as me, which meant that I couldn't game without her seeing and I stopped. 

It might help if you have a roommate... might also be a way to get that down time by hanging out...

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It's not about the success, it's about learning our weak points when we relapse. Try to look at this like a continuum, you're a baby that's trying to walk, why are you giving up, because you stumbled? If you give up, you'll always crouch, from work to home, to the club. If you crouch, you'll never dance, or run. 

Don't give up just because you stumbled and fell. Learn from it and keep on trying. 

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Full-Detox Day 0 | Brainstorming and Ramble time! ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

"Feeling hopeless does not mean you are hopeless" 
"Trying and failing is better than not trying"
"You can't think yourself into the right action, but you can act yourself into the right thinking"

It's been over two weeks, gaming a lot, eating badly, not exercising, avoiding people, being depressed, all that good jazz. I think one of the reasons why I'm having a hard time getting back on track is that I expect to have a big break-through, plan everything out, write a big post and commit hard. In the past 3 months it's been obvious this is not a good strategy. With that, I will keep in mind that "trying and failing is better than not trying". I'm not feeling strong or determined, but even if I relapse after 1 day, it's still better than not trying. Even if I hold out for just a few hours, it's better than nothing. I have to go through a lot of pain and discomfort, I have to crawl my way out no matter how and what it takes. 

Practical:

Out of the last 10 working days, I went to my internship only 4 times, none of which I did any useful work anyways. By all accounts I should absolutely be fired, I'm not sure what's happening there. It's 5am now, so my best bet is not even going to sleep and just going to the office early in the morning, try to reset.I'll call this day 'today'. Today, my supervisor returns from vacation so I'll talk to her about my situation. 

Big picture issues I've identified:

  • Right now, I don't have an inspiring vision to work towards. I used to have one, even just a few months ago, but it's extremely blurred now and I barely remember the feelings. It's a catch 22: I lack the motivation to get out of misery due to the lack of vision, but I can't see the vision without getting out of misery. Some parts that I remember:
    • Build a passive income machine = become a successful CEO
    • Meet and befriend inspiring, like-minded people
    • Get good game, then choose the perfect partner
    • Help people experiencing similar problems like myself
  • I don't have an anti-vision. The vision of negative consequences. Because the negative consequences are just.. so mediocre. It makes me sick. But also not sick enough. There is nothing that triggers my existential fear, not even partly. My dad is generously financing my studies and I also have a decent reserve. The university doesn't really care how long I take, the country won't kick me out, I have no threatening diseases, I could probably get a decent job even if I drop out of uni right now. But I know there is SO MUCH MORE out there! So yeah, an anti-vision is usually people's biggest motivator, I don't have one. 

"The How" based on the notes from my previous detoxes:

  • Proper Morning Ritual
    • Meditation/visualisation
    • Affirmations
    • State change via movement (with breath)
  • In bed with no devices
  • 30m reading in bed
  • Locking the laptop in the office
  • Write down the morning steps & prepare in the evening
  • Completely BAN youtube and reddit on top of playing games
  • 7 hours of sleep every day

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

Notes I took from reading through some of my early detox entries(putting it here for myself to have): 

  • Every 7-10 days, I tend to have 1-3 "zero-days" that follow the same pattern of oversleeping -> feeling guilty and sad about it -> staying home and not doing anything productive. 
    • During those days, I either relapse or I GRADUALLY bounce back to have another few very productive and happy days
  • + Finish all work at the workplace and come home just to sleep -> do not even open the laptop
  • + In bed without devices, or even better, reading a book
  • + Writing down detailed morning steps the evening before, and preparing water.
  • I tend to get extrenely motivated and excited when I stumble uon an opportunity. I've always consciously put it off for school reasons or getting talked away from it by my dad. Next time -> just yolo go for it. Read about the digital nomad concept?
  • + Mini-habits were a nice gamification element
  • Each decision every day is independent. It is always in my control to choose what to do. 
  • + Successful recovery: 
    • Crawl 
    • Go through a lot of pain, but it always pays off within a week
    • Even if you wake up at 18 and feel like an absolute piece of shit, crawl out of the room and go to the workplace!
  • + Not banning ALL gaming content doesn't seem to work
  • + Banning both youtube and reddit completely seems to works best -> total ego change
  • + get rid of the mouse
  • + Lock up the laptop somewhere overnight

______________________________________________________________________________________________________

The actual valuable insight:

There are really just 2 steps to winning. 1: start the journey. 2: do not derail off the journey until success. So... step 1 achieved motherfockaaaaaaas! GG EZ

Okay, so step 2: do not derail off the journey. I've been talking with @Hobedaga about this a bit and what I've settled on regarding preventing relapsing during the eventual zero-days is to accept that they are going to happen. What tends to happen with me when I start doing well is I go up really really fast in terms of mood and productivity. After a few days, I feel like I'm finally doing it, I've finally changed, I'm this new man who's going to conquer the world and I'm awesome. Then the inevitable zero-days hit, and it directly contrasts this narrative, it slaps me right back and makes me think that I was wrong, that I'm actually still a loser incapable of basic human functions. So this is where I've been making a mistake in the past - not realizing that even these zero-days are part of this journey. I mean I've never made it past 50 days so who knows, maybe they even disappear completely, but regardless of that, no matter how good I'm doing, It's still okay to have zero-days where I feel shit. It's normal to have these short-term burnouts especially when starting out. The fact that I can't force myself to work for 1, 2 or even 3 days does not mean that I'm a loser or that I have failed or that I'm not improving. It's just a very sharp-looking staircase. Like one of these dutch staircases. I swear to god they were made for people to fear for their life while walking in any direction. Anyways. Next time I see the same pattern of a few successful days and a zero-day coming up, I will just straight-up accept that it's going to suck and it's okay. I will message the work chat to let them know I'm feeling weak and won't come, just take it easy, read a book, watch a movie, maybe call some friends and grab a beer. 

Edited by JustTom
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Quick short response cause I'm heading out, but you have to accept some days just suck and some days are great in the real world. It's not specifically your fault and it doesn't say anything bad about you. We gotta be realistic about our expectations and look at the everyday life of other people (NOT INSTAGRAM XD) and see it's just normal to have ups and downs, good and bad days. 

You sound like you have a very comfortable life, which sucks in this situation. Try to find multiple people that you will know you will disappoint if you don't keep your word this time, cause you need someone to keep you reliable outside of yourself. It could start by committing to join some sort of book club that meets every week, hope this makes sense. 

Change things up and involve other people, as addicts we can't easily do it alone.

Edited by fawn_xoxo
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2 hours ago, fawn_xoxo said:

Quick short response cause I'm heading out, but you have to accept some days just suck and some days are great in the real world. It's not specifically your fault and it doesn't say anything bad about you. We gotta be realistic about our expectations and look at the everyday life of other people (NOT INSTAGRAM XD) and see it's just normal to have ups and downs, good and bad days. 

 

Yeah that's the bold-text part! 😄

2 hours ago, fawn_xoxo said:

 You sound like you have a very comfortable life, which sucks in this situation. Try to find multiple people that you will know you will disappoint if you don't keep your word this time, cause you need someone to keep you reliable outside of yourself. It could start by committing to join some sort of book club that meets every week, hope this makes sense. 

 

This wouldn't be enough, unless the people were directly dependent on me. I mean I had classes with difficult group projects, last winter for example, and I still relapsed during that time so I don't want to go down this route. 

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5 hours ago, JustTom said:

What tends to happen with me when I start doing well is I go up really really fast in terms of mood and productivity. After a few days, I feel like I'm finally doing it, I've finally changed, I'm this new man who's going to conquer the world and I'm awesome. Then the inevitable zero-days hit, and it directly contrasts this narrative, it slaps me right back and makes me think that I was wrong, that I'm actually still a loser incapable of basic human functions. So this is where I've been making a mistake in the past - not realizing that even these zero-days are part of this journey.

That's an interesting insight. I think I'm pretty guilty of this, too. When I'm firing on all cylinders, I start projecting into the future, like "If I work this many hours every week this year, I'll hit all my financial goals and it'll be awesome!" and then I relapse on entertainment and spend a month doing next to nothing and feel crap about myself and like I'm betraying myself.

I gotta have a recipe for those days. I think I'm going to ask the wife to go out with me, go for food or just a long walk or whatever. Accept that productivity ain't happening, that I gotta reset, and just try again the next day...

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Full-Detox Day 1 | Pomodoros: 14

I did it! I didn't game and went to my internship. I also kept my laptop at the office overnight, this trick has been massively successful in the past,but makes it so that sometimes I don't update GQ. I'm feeling pretty excited for the future, lots of ideas and plans already. Just have to keep in mind that bad days will come and to stay strong and relax when they do. 

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Full-Detox Day 2 | Focus: 70% | Productive Hours: 14 + social

Woke up at 3:30 after 7 hours of sleep. I'm always the most rested after a day of pushing being awake for 24+ hours. The real morning challenge comes from tomorrow on. I'm super happy that I ACTUALLY DID my morning ritual. Of course it's about being consistent every day, but I'm grateful that I had the willpower to do it today. I'll go through some free in-app guided meditations on my phone first. The visualization part was tricky because I was quite unfocused and also the vision itself is not super clear, but it inspired me nonetheless. The affirmations I was just riffing, but eventually I'll write down some of them that I want to repeat to myself every day. Absolute brainwash. Love it. State change, for anyone confused, is just any movement that gets me out of my head into my body, preferably with intense breathing, just a pump-up basically. 

At the office at 7am, gonna have a meeting with my supervisor, let's see if I get fired for doing nothing in the past 2 weeks, heHEE..!

I think I just found a new game to get addicted to, but this time by choice: https://www.investopedia.com/simulator . With this, I can learn the ropes of investing with fake money on a real market(with commission fees as well). Investing is something I will have to 100% do eventually and I naturally like reading about it. This simulator is a fun way to get my toes in. Perhaps it's a bit out of focus for me and I should just do my thesis/internship and put my 10-18 estimated "side hustle" hours to e-commerce, buuuuuut I'm not sure if it's enough. Probably not, but I'll think about it on the weekend. Investing is kind of an optional productive time-sink for me. 


✔️ Morning Ritual (Meditation, Visualization, Affirmations, State Change)
✔️ No Youtube on the PC
✔️ In bed without devices
✔️ Locked away the laptop
☐ 7+ hours of sleep

Edited by JustTom
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Full-Detox Day 3 | Focus: 70% | Effort: 80%

My thesis is going to continue. I turned 25, so now I only have 5 years left to be a millionaire in my 20's. A good point to stop gaming forever. 

I took my laptop home for Saturday. I'm not exactly sure why, since the plan was to go to the office to hustle anyways and there are no other purposes for my laptop. 


 Morning Ritual (Meditation, Visualization, Affirmations, State Change)
✔️ No Youtube on the PC
In bed without devices
 Locked away the laptop
✔️ 7+ hours of sleep

Edited by JustTom

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 Day 1 

Yeah so bringing the laptop home was my doom. I started by oversleeping on saturday, then I thought I would take a chill, zero-day. So I watched a movie, then started watching youtube, got into gaming content and by the end of the night, I was gaming again. Same thing on sunday, I also went to bed at 5am and so today(monday), I slept until ~2pm and failed to go to my internship. It's ~18:30 now, I'm reading about finance to ease myself to it, then I'm gonna eat something, clean up my room, hit the gym, read a bit more before bed and go to sleep at midnight or 1. I'm also putting up a bet on stickk for 100 bucks that I will show up at my internship tomorrow. 

Again, trying and failing is better than not trying. I went on for 3 days, that's not too bad! Going for it again. Until I die. 

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Goals for April:

  • Lock my laptop in the office EVERY DAY -> keeping myself busy
  • Show up at my internship every weekday
  • Start investing with real money

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Day 2 | Focus: 80% | Pomodoros: 10 + gym

Day 2 IN THE BAG! It took me a long time to get up and go out, but in the end, I did. I'm locking my laptop in the office, going to the gym and then more-or-less straight to bed. 

I feel extremely motivated, I see my goals quite clearly ahead of me, from all the planning and thinking I've been doing lately. To the point, that I couldn't even fall asleep yesterday from excitement. 

Here's the high-level plan: 

  • Finish my degree while completing the detox and starting investing with real money
  • Build the passive income machine / become a CEO
  • (optional) Move to the US
  • Create content and/or tools to help people like me

- I will squeeze in a traveling period somewhere in there, probably after my degree. While building the passive income machine, I will either move back to my hometown where I can live almost-for-free or take a part-time job as a software developer here, or even try freelancing, but maybe that requires to build up some portfolio first so I'm not sure about since it's really just a short-term transition before I semi-retire. 

- Fitness and social is kind of intertwined inbetween, but I'm not going too hard on either of those. 

✔️ Morning Ritual (Meditation, Visualization, Affirmations, State Change)
✔️ In bed without devices
✔️ Locked away the laptop

Edited by JustTom
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Your excitement  and enthusiasm are tangible 😄 Your plans sound absolutely amazing! These are wonderful goals to aspire to

1 hour ago, JustTom said:

 even try freelancing, but maybe that requires to build up some portfolio first so I'm not sure about since it's really just a short-term transition before I semi-retire. 

Yeah, first you work for your portfolio and when your portfolio works for you. If you consider it, it is useful to build some sort of network, spread a word around that you are doing what you are doing. It takes time but eventually turns into something successful. 

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Day 3 | Focus: 65% | Pomodoros: 20 + gym

Day 3 starting amazing. I got up at 8 !!!!! Then did my morning ritual and went to the office. I'm also using bets on stickk to keep myself accountable - if I don't show up at the office, I have to pay 100 euros haha. 

There is one exciting new thing that I noticed last night: I was really looking forward to the next day. I usually fear the next day because of how many times I've failed in the past. But last night I was excited to start a new day and the moment that I woke up, still in bed, I still looked forward to the new day. Not really excitement as in the evening of course, but still a positive emotion. I think it has to do with a clearly defined vision - down to details, and a strategy that I'm committed to. 

Evening update: Day was okay, gonna lock up the laptop and hit the gym again. My thesis is barely moving forward due to technical issues, but I'm doing what I can so that's what counts for me. There isn't a day that I don't feel like quitting, but there are two things nailing me down to it: 1. dad expects me to finish my degree, 2. sunk cost fallacy - I've sacrificed my entire early 20's for this one fucking paper, so to quit 6 months before the end sounds pathetic. 

22 hours ago, Catherine17 said:

Yeah, first you work for your portfolio and when your portfolio works for you. If you consider it, it is useful to build some sort of network, spread a word around that you are doing what you are doing. It takes time but eventually turns into something successful. 

Do you freelance? I'm quite curious about it. Especially whether it can make money comparable to standard employment in the short term, without a portfolio and a network of clients. 

✔️ Morning Ritual (Meditation, Visualization, Affirmations, State Change)
✔️ In bed without devices
✔️ Locked away the laptop

Edited by JustTom
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On 4/3/2019 at 11:01 AM, JustTom said:

Do you freelance? I'm quite curious about it. Especially whether it can make money comparable to standard employment in the short term, without a portfolio and a network of clients. 

Well, I am just a beginner right now. I do some copywriting, but it's nothing yet, really. Though, I believe things are much better for a software developer. Perhaps you should check sites for freelance services to see whether you understand how everything works and whether it lives up to your expectations. Theu can be quite confusing. Sometimes they have to run some tests to see if you are suitable for a well-paid project or you have to work on minor tasks (which are less pad, of course). And don't forget about this constant competition among freelancers...Of course, everything is possible when you work hard but you probably won't get everything at once. But once again, I can only speak about my field.

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Day 4 | Focus: 20% | Pomodoros: 12

Overslept and got up at ~15 because the evening before I fell asleep without properly setting myself up for success. I fell asleep while watching the GSL semi-finals, which was pretty boring anyways, but this situation caused me to not have water prepared, the curtains were closed so no light was coming in, I somehow set up a basic alarm while falling asleep, but that's not nearly enough for me and most importantly, I didn't get my mind in the right place to start the next day. If I go to sleep in an unconscious state, I will still be in an unconscious state the next day. That's how I've operated so far.

But, there is a positive side to this day - once I got up, I executed my shortened routine and went to the office, stayed there until 10. Didn't get shit done, but still better than staying home and perpetuating the unconscious state. If I had my laptop with me I might have relapsed. This trick is the money.

✔️ Morning Ritual (short)
In bed without devices
✔️ Locked away the laptop

Day 5 | Focus: 60% | Pomodoros: 16 + gym

Bouncing back. I got up in time to execute my full ritual, but instead, I laid on the couch with my phone for 40 minutes, so I only did the short one and went to the office. In the evening I had a meeting with my supervisor and the CTO, where they essentially told me that I suck and gave me one more chance to get my productivity up. So we'll see next friday.

The technical details we were discussing made me realize one thing: I really didn't *get* what software engineering is about. It's about plowing through hell and doing whatever it takes to GET SHIT DONE. It's about taking some shitty, buggy code, biting your teeth and making a hack-around to get that shit working, because it's still better than doing it from scratch. Maybe the university spoiled me with nicely prepared code templates to fill in or 50-200 classmates doing more-or-less the same thing so that the bugs in the setup get fixed by the power of community - this is a research master afterall, focused on the logic and not application, but that's not the real world. In the real world, you just have to shut the fuck up and do whatever it takes to get to the end result. No matter how much you'd like to just work in your main.py using the Dracula theme in Pycharm and a nicely-setup VIM-editor scheme, you will have to plow through shit. It's down and dirty and excuses are only there for losers. 

This made my conviction that I don't want to be an engineer even stronger, but it also emotionally pushed me to just shut the fuck up and do the work. Or quit. But I still want to finish this one last thing. In the future, some IT skills of mine will be utilized for sure. And although my first business ventures after my graduation will be non-IT, I have to adopt this mentality. 

✔️ Morning Ritual (short)
✔️ In bed without devices
✔️ Locked away the laptop

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Day 6 | Focus: 35% | Pomodoros: 13

I've spent 5hours doing nothing. Literally just laying around my room, without my laptop, and browsing the internet from my phone. God fucking damnit fuck shit fuck. 

It's the evening now already, but I'm going to the grocery store, getting some food and then get my laptop to do at least a few hours of hustle. Seriously. Right after I press the send button. Let's go. 

Going home now WITH the laptop because I will actually need it tomorrow, but I will not even open it before tomorrow morning. 

There's only 9 more articles to read, then I'll analyze at least 2 cashflow statements from companies I'm interested in and after I have all my remaining questions answered, I'll put in real money. Then I will dedicate the rest of my free hours to e-commerce. 

 Morning Ritual (short)
✔️ In bed without devices
(sunday) Locked away the laptop

Edited by JustTom
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Day 1 | Focus:??? | Pomodoros:??? 

Weekend still remains a failure point. Saturday was so-so and got a litttle bit done, but I stayed up late and didn't prepare properly in the evening. Sunday was then an easy oversleep->relapse pattern again. I only played a few hours, but enough for me to stay up late again, not prepare at all and not show up to my internship on monday. So I'm resetting sleep schedule by staying up 24 hours. Also, my laptop died, need to go to the repair, unlucky. If it's non-fixable, I think I should get a mac. 

Either way, last friday I gave myself this week to decide if I want to quit the job or continue, and I've already failed to show up on monday sooooo yeah not a goodstart lmao. Then there is all of the content that I listen to, telling me to follow my passion instead of my parent's and friends' goals. Heh. 

Spent most of the day waiting for thr laptop repair only for the to tell me it's going to take the whole week, so I spent the rest of the day setting up a temporary replacement pc at the office. Oh well. Did what I could. 

Edited by JustTom

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Day 2 | Focus: 70% | Pomodoros: 28

Started at 11:30, feeling pretty good, the thesis project is looking as desperate as ever, but I will do my best. One advantage of literally not having a personal computer is that I can't relapse even if I wanted to haha. 

Put in more than 12 hours today(including lunch). Skipping gym to stay in the office and work tomorrow as well. Hopefuly I'll get some results. If not then... at least I'll have free time to start my business LOL. We'll see.

Edited by JustTom

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