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Mouxine

Daily journal of a nervous father

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Why do they cry at night?  Is it just general issues since they are very young children?  I remember my father would come into the room screaming at me and scare me more.  My mom would come in and ask me what was wrong, sing a bit, and then go to bed.  I used to have horrible nightmares and just got so scared and needed my mom.  I slowly grew out of it by controlling my dreams and learning to comfort myself at night with stuffed animals and having access to a light.  I hated night time as a kid.  So scary.

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I don't take time to write my journal, I'll try to update it tomorrow or monday.

For the crying children, well it's natural... Most children don't sleep without waking up sometimes before 6 years. Sometimes they are hungry, then they are scared, then some make nightmare, sometimes they are sick, sometimes they need to pee and or afraid of the dark... With 3 children under 6, it's like the casino : you can win or lose, but you will likely lose !

But you are right, coming in the room screaming is a bad thing to do... I know it, but it's super hard to be gentle when you are awaken almost every night for 4 years in a row... I get more and more patient, but it's far from what I want to be.

It's 1 A.M and it's already 3 times they have awaken... Good for my wife, I'm not in bed yet ! Time to switch off !

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Sorry to hear that.  Do the 3 of them sleep in the same room?  Is there anything you can do to start a nighttime routine for them to practice with you like reading that can get them to get excited for sleeping instead of getting scared?  Can you give them a placebo?  Like a special teddy bear or stuffed animal that protects them at night and in their dreams no matter what?

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Well, there are a few rules to observe during daytime to have a quiet night. Scream as least as possible, punish them lightly and calmly, play with them, do not show them ugly or scary things, avoid any injuries, do not change daily routine or see too much people...

Otherwise, to keep the oldest in bed, a book or my presence is enough with a dim light.

 

Day 27

I forgot my keys to clean up our former appartement, so I lost 2 hours in my week in a stupid way. We planted a cherry tree in the garden. It was nice dirtying my hands like this.

Day 28

My wife had an essay for her potential work. I had the bad idea to go and pick her up with the children, they were exhausting and it ended up with screaming. My fault, I should have a bit more foresight.

Day 29

Ash Wednesday. A day of privation ! Only 1 meal allowed (and a little snack in the morning and the evening). It was bearable until 21P.M, I went to sleep early to put an end to it. Otherwise, my mom came home and did a Sauerkrout for the children... It was not easy to resist that good smell. I also had a video game craving during that day. I fixed our swing in the garden, now the kids can play with it.

Day 30

I woke up a 2 A.M because of the little boy. We were hungry with my wife so we started to eat the leftovers of my mom's Sauerkrout. The boy started smiling and ate with us... He went to sleep silently after that. In the morning I went to clean up our former appartement for sale, and I took the keys that time ! The rest of the day was to rest of so much changes to our routine.

Day 31

A full day of work for my wife. It was sweet at home, I managed everything, I did enough chores and took time to make class to the oldest. At diner time, my wife came back and was exhausted, so I did everything almost alone, and I was calm. I love routine !

Day 32

A busy day, I had to go to the supermarket with our friend who has a cancer, open and close my father's office for the electrician, go to the park to entertain the children and finish my weekly rosary.

 

About video games : they are not appealing anymore. I wouldn't even know what to play. I take more time to read stories for the children and myself, and that feels great.

About social hobbies : I'm really not interested in them yet. I feel I have to many social interactions during the week so I would rather stay alone and enhance my weekly routine.

About sport : I made a little during the week, it made me feel good for a few minutes, then after it was terrible trying to manage the kids while being tired... It really doesn't suits me for the moment, I already am aching from the back and the arms because I carry the most little one very often... It's normal at 18 month, they all want to be carried for a long time.

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Day 33 to 41 (41 is the 17 march)

The mood was tense at home during these days. The little one is making 2 teeth simultaneously, this explains why he sleeps so bad and why we are on your nerves not sleeping well.

I lost motivation doing my daily journal, it's always late when I can take decent time to do it (10 P.M). I will try to update it once a week.

Notable facts during 8 days :

- I discovered a friend of mine is a liar.

- A friend tried to motivate me to write articles or books. I would like to but I lack self confidence most of the time.

- I want to spend less and less time online. Time flees when I'm in front of a screen and my eyes hurts.

- I bought a new phone : big screen but weak power so I can't do much things on it. Great it's just what I needed and it was the cheapest 75€.

- I watched an anime. The beginning was fun and it became boring... It's always the case.

I noticed that I was improving only when I was struggling with all my flaws at the same time. I should remember this !

I read the chapters on chastity in the introduction of the devout life by St Francis of Sales. I got a big but a gentle slap in the face : I'm only at the first degree and there's two more to achieve. That was one of the most slowing down error I made thinking I had to improve somewhere else.

 

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59 minutes ago, Mouxine said:

Day 33 to 41 (41 is the 17 march)

The mood was tense at home during these days. The little one is making 2 teeth simultaneously, this explains why he sleeps so bad and why we are on your nerves not sleeping well.

I lost motivation doing my daily journal, it's always late when I can take decent time to do it (10 P.M). I will try to update it once a week.

Notable facts during 8 days :

- I discovered a friend of mine is a liar.

- A friend tried to motivate me to write articles or books. I would like to but I lack self confidence most of the time.

- I want to spend less and less time online. Time flees when I'm in front of a screen and my eyes hurts.

- I bought a new phone : big screen but weak power so I can't do much things on it. Great it's just what I needed and it was the cheapest 75€.

- I watched an anime. The beginning was fun and it became boring... It's always the case.

I noticed that I was improving only when I was struggling with all my flaws at the same time. I should remember this !

I read the chapters on chastity in the introduction of the devout life by St Francis of Sales. I got a big but a gentle slap in the face : I'm only at the first degree and there's two more to achieve. That was one of the most slowing down error I made thinking I had to improve somewhere else.

 

I remember teething. I didn't enjoy it. I feel like we are all trying so hard to change so much. It's exhausting. Which anime did you watch? Why is your friend a liar?

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I've just been catching up with your story, it's really powerful. 

Even in 30 days, it seems like you've improved a lot. 90 days was hard enough for me, I can't imagine doing it with 3 children. You're stronger than most people I know, so try not to get frustrated with yourself when you become angry. You're doing an amazing job.

I think you're doing the right thing with your hobbies. There's no need to put too much strain on yourself, you're already dealing with a lot, especially with the gaming detox as well. I'm sure there will be a time when you're ready to explore new things and learn new skills, but only you'll know when that time comes. 

I hope everything works out for you, I'll definitely be following along.

All the best.

 

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