Jump to content

Listen to Cam and James Discuss eSports In Episode 2 of Gaming the System!

Sign in to follow this  
WorkInProgress

Mario's Journal,

Recommended Posts

25.7.2016

Lately I don't feel like journalling here. Also I see no sense in writing into my blog before I actually have to share some insights. Right now I am working through a book called: Discovering Modern C++ and it is really interesting. It also got clear to me that I actually know only very little of coding in general and it will take some time and commitment to achieve a serious level of improvement there. My time feels very limited these last days. I think it is that way because I want to do so much different stuff. As soon as i'm not sure if it is the right decision I just don't do it. I  tried to pretend to be what was expected of me in this forum or in the world and not hat I really am. This made my journalling ehre pretty superficial and less worth the time for me. I think I need a break of this journal and a few other things like porn and planning too much. I need to refocus on the things that are important to me. I had some fantasy's about earning money online but actually I don't need to do that because I am at the start of a career in engineering. It will be more worthwhile for me to focus my energy into using my master of science to get an interesting job and earn some serious cash with it. That is why I stop this blog (I will still learning to program though). I think I am able to make a plan and stick to it right now if I don't focus on gamequitters and how to improve myself and instead actually improving myself. That is why I wont be active in this forum or at the blog.

Instead I will figure out for myself what really improves productivity and life quality for me and stick to these things.

things I will continue: Excercising, learning to programm, cold showers

things I will stop: Journalling, new self-improvment books and articles, porn, coffee, alkohol

things I will do: Meditating everyday(atleast 5min), weekly goals check, clean every day for at least 15min. Create a weekly schedule for repetitetive tasks like exercising cleaning the bathroom...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

things I will do: Meditating everyday(atleast 5min), weekly goals check, clean every day for at least 15min. Create a weekly schedule for repetitetive tasks like exercising cleaning the bathroom...

Good plan!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

29.10.2016

I'm back.

This morning I broke my coffee break. It wasn't as great as I thought it would. I think I'll stick to tea in the morning. To be honest I broke my no coffein rule on time last month while I tried out our new espresso machine. But I think one esspresso in a month is a great achievement. It shows me that I don't need coffein to be productive.  I did slip 3 time son ym no alkohol rule too. I never realised how ahrd it was for me to withstand social pressure. At all these occasions I felt awkward  not to drink at least one mixed bear/ secco. In hindsight it wouldn't be a big deal not to drink. I will have to work harder to only drink something if I really want to.

Cleaning and meditation didn't work out because I just didn't saw the importance of it. But while I write this I am kind of curious how my mind would behaved if I actually meditated every day for the last month. Maybe I try it as next month goal.

The big positive things last month was that I Programmed and learned about programming a lot. I enjoy it so much lately because I feel like all this things I read in the internet start to make sense slowly. To become good at it will take more time as expected but it makes more fun also. I even realise how programming regulary has a positive influence at how I think about problems and how I manage my notes. This is just awesome.

This month I will write every two days in my journal and get back on track with exercising. Sickness and convenience let me slacking at it and I start to feel the negative consequences. Less energy in my daily life and more pain while sitting. Also my mood is more often lethargic then before. This is enough writing for today. I try to focus on the important stuff from now on and writing regulary.

Thinks I am grateful for.

1) found a productive activity which is fun for me

2) my wife. She is awesome even if she doesn't realise this often.

3) the purring cat on my lap.

4) being awake early

5) feeling good about myself-

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

29.10.2016

Thinks I am grateful for.

1) found a productive activity which is fun for me

2) my wife. She is awesome even if she doesn't realise this often.

3) the purring cat on my lap.

4) being awake early

5) feeling good about myself-

No. 3 wins :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

31.10.2016

Happy Haloween.

I procrastinate with this journal entry writing a overdue intern ship report. But hey the internet is on after a disruption of service. I suspect that I torn the cable out a little bit as I checked the cables at the initial disruption...

I need to get productive again. I learned a lot last month but now it is time to produce and get an efficient time plan. There is a lot of work this  last semester and without using all the tools I got this will be hard and I won't have time to improve any not study related things. It is like if I have to do smth like this report I procrastinate and can't bring myself to do it. I think this is a mindset problem. I "waste" my time learning to program and even if this is difficult I feel comfortable programming because there is no pressure and no danger of failing in a way. Also I am kind of used to procrastinate this report right now( I wanted to write it basically the last  3months...). It is time to get uncomfortable again and do things that are important instead of things that are convenient.

I have two ideas for a solution of my procrastination problem. First I try to make this task more interesting by trying to find a scheme how I do write reports most efficiently. I'll start with brainstorming all the things I could write over with a mindmap. Then I will write headlines. And then I will set the amount of words I will possible be able to write about the headlines and start with the most essential ones.

The other idea is nothing new. Just sit down and do the work on it for a specified amount of time while trying to write atleast 10 words per minute. Then make a break of 5min and correct all the things I wrote. Then iterate this progress . If I feel like I can't write anything more I will keep on going for atleast 30min in that fashion. Then I stop and do smth else for atleast 30min.

Maybe this helps me to loose the fear of writing dumb things and split the problem in smaller chunks.

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

1.10.2016

Goals for this week:

- finish the intern ship  report

- clean the apartment until friday (friends are coming over)

Goals for this month:

- finish half of the MooC-course embedded systems(C8)

- finish literature research for master thesis and start writing the theoretical part

- create flashcards for all the new words of my two english courses

-

-

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

2.11.2016

Just realised how I was slacking a lot at work in the past and how this afflicts me now in the present. I could have definitely more proactive the last month and now I have to take the punishment for missing out at this point. I wasn't even lazy I jsut didn't get enough focussed work done to clear my head of the daily tasks and look at the bigger frame.

I extensively experiment with a onlnine pomodorro timer wiht ticking noise (http://www.online-stopwatch.com/pomodoro-timer/). This helps me to stay focussed, because the ticking get my thoughts back on the subject if they starts to wonder. The downside is taht I feel kind of crazy to listen to a ticking all the time. Well if it works, thats fine with me. I actually limited my time in GQ to one 25min pomodorro and got only 9min left. My plan is to do spent my working day most of the time at the computer using this timer and wirting my report.

The stress Level is rising because I am allready overdue but that is a good thing for my productivity. I jsut have to find a way to be productive without such a big stress Level in the future. Maybe I get used to working in pomodorro's. I stopped exercisiing lately after I was sick for a week. I feel like I don't have( or want to create) time for it right now. My Routine is  takes atleast 60min. That is jsut too long right now. Maybe I have to find a quick 20-30min Routine instead becacuse even if I like the more free time I miss being active.

so far I am at around 9 of 25 pages into my report. But I think Ic an take a lot of Input from a report of a former intern here into it today. So I hope to get to around 16pages today.

3min left. Got to go ;).

 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

3.11.2016

Stayed at home this morning to get some household stuff done and because I have too any hours on the clock at work. And prompto spent around an hour surfing gq and youtube... I should started that ticking pomodoro instead. I think I have to plan in some additional surfing and exploring the internet in a limited time range because it can be fun and stimulating. For example I found this great video about introverts(https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fWTwbaNLdzw) and realised that I am mildly introverted. Whilst I am ok in large groups I often take some time off a party to take a walk or sit with someone solo and have a deep talk. On the other hand I don't have a problem with small talk. But it takes energy away from me. If I am exhausted because I work a lot I dread conversations. Also even if I need to socialize to be happy I also need my alone time. Just take a walk or a jog and let my mind wander is really refreshing. Maybe I ened to do this more often. Especially now that I stopped working out. Maybe it is time to plan my days accordingly to this. In some extend I all ready do this. But realising this fact I think there is potential to be more successful. Especially at social interactions. I

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

4.11.2016

Lately everythign seems to slip through my fingers. I just can't get my ass to work, which leads me to Feeling worse and loosing Motivation. I build momentum in the wrong direction. This leads to more arguments with ym wife because I feel bad and talks sharply because of it. It feels like I am set back to a time 6months ago.  I ama ware that this a momentary slump and not an actual mirror of the present but it makes me angry at myself.

The main Problem is that I don't get my important stuff done anymore. My masterthesis should be Nr.1 Priority but instead I spent my time on procrastinating and learning other stuff like programming and microcontrollers. Sure I want to work in this field later one but to be able to become a Job I have first finish my studies with sucess. And if my Focus is that off I will maybe learn to program better and the basics of microcontrollers but not be able to finish my studies. I need to get back on track and refocus.

I also don't exercise anmyore and eat way more sugar and less protein as before. It took a lot of time but it also made me feel good. Thats why I will restart this today if I am home from work. I will also change back to daily/weekly goals here in ym Journal so I stay reminded of my resolutions and agratitude list to get a more positive attitude towards my (objectivly nice) life.

Gratitude list

1) I am grateful for having good friends.

2) I am grateful for beeing able to study

3) I am grateful for this forum giving me an systemical Approach to handle my stuff

4) I am grateful for beeing healthy

5) I am grateful for getting money whilst I do my Master thesis

Weekly goals (unitl Sunday)

- exercise every day for atleast 10min 0/3

- Write each day the most important thing to do down and work for atleast two hours at it. 0/3

- prepare breakfeast every evening. 0/2

- meditate for 10min everyday 0/3

List of banned activities:

gaming, YouTube, Masturbation, feeling sorry for myself, whining

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's good to get organized to get back on track. Arguing with your wife is a good sign actually. It means she cares. I hid my world from my wife out of guilt and shame. Just keep talking.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

It's good to get organized to get back on track. Arguing with your wife is a good sign actually. It means she cares. I hid my world from my wife out of guilt and shame. Just keep talking.

Thanks for your input. That is the plan.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey man, sorry to hear you're in a slump. But knowing you, it won't last. You're one of the people that was with me from the beginning, always offering words of advice and encouragement. Now it's my turn. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey man, sorry to hear you're in a slump. But knowing you, it won't last. You're one of the people that was with me from the beginning, always offering words of advice and encouragement. Now it's my turn. 

thanks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Hey man, sorry to hear you're in a slump. But knowing you, it won't last. You're one of the people that was with me from the beginning, always offering words of advice and encouragement. Now it's my turn. 

thanks.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

5.11.2016

Yesterday was a good day. I did a lot of work and started Headspace take 10. I don't know why I resisted the idea of a guided Meditation for so long it is really awesome. I always thought that meditation is something you just do or don't do and tried it a few times on my own. But having someone guide you through and tells you were to focus helps immensely. I felt calmer yesterday and mroe fokussed. Got some writing done and had some good talks. My overall stress level was reduced which boosted my productivity. I stopped experimenting with a ticking noise pomodoros because they increased my stress level. It seems like too much stress is distracting me too. The right level which leads to flow is eu-stress or positive stress and I think I come nearer to that point with experimenting. In my past I swapped between total relaxation and did not worry at all even there was a reason for it. Now I often worry about things who are in reality no problem.

Today my most important task is to work on the report.

I feel grateful for...

1) Headspace

2) feeling calmer

3) having functional w-lan on my laptop

4) an old friend out of university initiating a whatsapp conversation

5) have a three room appartment

Weekly goals (until Sunday)

- exercise every day for at least 10min 1/3

- Write each day the most important thing to do down and work for atleast two hours at it. 1/3

- meditate for 10min everyday 1/3

List of banned activities:

gaming, YouTube, Masturbation, feeling sorry for myself, whining

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

6.11.2016

Yesterday was an ok day. Got a cold thats why I decided not to train. But still managed to write 2k words on my report. Could have been more but it is an improvement.

I was at a birthday party of a friend in the evening and ha a good time. The downside is that I woke very late and have some plan in the afternoon. So I will have to write until the evening today. Minimum Goal today is another 2k words on the report anyway. preferable more.

Most important task today

report writing

I feel grateful for...

1) arguing

2) self-insights

3) seeing a big part of my family at the party

4) Coffee

5) feeling rested

Weekly goals (until Sunday)

- exercise every day for at least 10min 1/3 nope :(

- Write each day the most important thing to do down and work for atleast two hours at it. 3/3 done

- meditate for 10min everyday 3/3 done

List of banned activities:

gaming, YouTube, Masturbation, feeling sorry for myself, whining

Edited by WorkInProgress

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

22:38:

well I came home later as expected and am damn slow with writing. I am at 1k words . Got distracted too much after my wife went to bed. But this is an evening of no excuses. I will finish my task even if it takes me another 2 hours of sleep. ... Basically I could have been done now. So I need to train myself that breaking my promises have real bad consequences like sleep deprivation. It is time to stop deceiving myself and get my ass to work

23:53

Need to remember myself to slap me into my face if I think to procrastinate in the future.  With some rewriting of the resources from my predecessor and some extras written solely by myself, I  wrote another 2,1k words and go to sleep now. Only 5hours left until my alarm will go off. If I manage to do the same amount tomorrow It is possible to finish the  content of the report tomorrow. It will be possibly polished and finished for good(finally!) at Tuesday.

Edited by WorkInProgress
update

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

7.11.2016

Yesterday was a good day. If I woudl manage my free time in that fashion if I don't have a deadline I could be productive. If that isn't a Goal for the future. I feel unlike many otheres here in the Forum my main problem is not that I want too much in a too little time. It seems that I just missing the willingness to feel bad for some hours to reap the rewards of a clear consience. If it were ju´st the fact that I am not working enough it wouldn't be such a  problem. But I promise myself or others things and just don't do them. It is gotten better over the detox but I am still far from the goal I set at the beginning of this detox. I wanted to become a trustworthy person who stays true to his word. Now it is time to improve further at this goal and make it happen instead of making excuses. For example today I thought about not meditating, because I forgot my headphones at home and can't listen to headspace (I have no speakers at work)). But instead of taking the excuse not to do it I will instead just meditate unguided in a similar fashion. I rememebr what the speaker in the App said yesterday. There is no reason why I shouldnt be able to do so by myself.

I also need to adjust my exercise program. I feel like 10min are too short because I can't properly warm-up this way and 60min are to long. I'll try next week to do 4x30min workouts. Im thinking about buying a good jumprope for warm-up. Maybe thats a good idea for a christmas present.

Well thats enough for today. Have a nice day guys  

Most important task today

report writing

I feel grateful for...

1) preservance

2) peppermint tea

3) sticking to my promise

4) my mother beeing at relatively good health for her age

5) the people around me and their ability to love me despite my faults

Weekly goals (until Sunday)

- exercise 30 minutes 0/4

- Write each day the most important thing to do down and work for atleast two hours at it. 0/7

- meditate for 10min everyday 0/7 done

List of banned activities:

gaming, YouTube, Masturbation, feeling sorry for myself, whining

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

Sign in to follow this  

×
×
  • Create New...