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WorkInProgress

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17.8.2016

I have a lot of work right now. I helped my mother-in-law to move into her new appartment. This lead to me going work at my internship and then going straight to help the guys move. I gone too bed two days in a row after 11pm and missed due to sleepiness and missing determination my mourning stretching. Also I need to prepare for the festival I attend  this weekend and should be productive at my internship(here I failed the last days). It seems like everything is a little too much right now, but I am will get over this phase and try to see this as an opportunity to grow. 

Now it is time to grow a pair and get back on track with my Goals:

- be successful at my studies so that I'll be qualified to find a good work, when I finish University next spring.

- become more socially confident.

- get a houskeeping Routine established

- live my values and get a more clarified picture of my values

- be a more active part in the lives of my family and friends

 

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26.8.2016

Had some very exhausting weeks and was crappy to my wife because of it. I felt kind of overwhelmed and not able to react properly. I also stopped oing my morning stretching because it was annoying to stand up another half an hour earlier(4:30 am). The main Thing influencing my modd is that I don't feel in Charge of my life lately. Steered by circumstances. But if I dig deeper it gets obvious that this isn't true. Ofcourse I Need to go to work a tmy internship but I have the possibility to learn a lot there and spend my time liek I want(no Job I know is so flexible whit the Tasks you can do). I also Need to Keep my appartment moderately clean and wash ym cloths. But first of all I am doing this freely because I choose too and there are so many things I could do if I would be willing to live with the consequences.

The Problem is not missing control it is more of a problem with getting comfortable in a new life situation and it is my responsibility to make this change. I will start planning my workdays in front and everytime I find myself thinking "I have to do something !" I will think again and ask myself "What can I do else and why do I choose to do it this way"?

On a more postiive note I found a great site about Electronics and because this is a part of Engineering I hadn't learned at all at my studies I felt always somehow selfconcious about electronics stuff. Now I study every day 30-60min on it and take notes and I am confident that I reach in 14days a solid base of knowledge in this area which is great.

Goals for next week:

- organize my working day

- do clean the appartment at this Weekend for atleast 4 hours

- do excercise 3 times

- take everyday a 15min break wher I can sit and think.

- wirte a new entry until 2.9.

- reevalulate have-to-thoughts everyday

- be the best husband I can be, supportive and don't let bad moods influence my interactions with my wife.

 

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28.8.2016

I am actually not commited enough lately. I read through all these journals here and feel reminded to a state where I was so comitted to change that I would make it happen. These days it is hot and I have some free time so I just decide to do nothing. I all ready get in danger of reviving old bad habits liek porn and thought about playing an indie game I played a long time ago. Also do I still slack at work instead of being awesome which will reduce my career possibilities in the long run even if it doesn't matter right now. I will go back to daily journalling because it helped me a lot with accountabilty and commitment in the past. First thing if I arrive at work is to spend 15min here and write this journal where I keep you guys posted about my progress at my goals. I wrote some of them down before two days but realised that I have to downgrade them that they are still realistic. I think I write the 3 most important things down and will only alter them if I finished some goal.(This way I stay focussed on the important tasks). 

Goals (6months until 28.2.2017)

-  I have consistently trained or at least  2 workouts for the last 6months

- I finished my internship and found an awesome Master thesis which will help to improve my employability in my area of living

- I have deepened my relationship s so I allow me to be more vulnerable towards my wife and my friends.

- I studied a lot in my own free time and decided where I want to work ( finished python book, start learning cfd, finished electronics online learning,finished linux ebook).

Goals(1month/ until 28.9.)

- I decided if I do my master thesis at the place of my internship or somewhere else

- I have a routine for my standard tasks( cleaning, workout, studying )

- I did clear some organisational issues at university

Goals(this week/ until sunday)

- make a weekly schedule

- follow the schedule 3 days in a row

- get a haircut

Goals(daily)

- - make a weekly schedule

exercise clean kitchen surfaces and wash dishes

Edited by WorkInProgress
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29.8.2016

I am off to a rocky start. I didn't excercise yesterday but instead shaved my head with the  help of my wife. My tophair is gotten thinner and thinner in the last few years and so I decided that it was time for a real short haircut. I inititially wanted to have some mm of hair let but my cutter couldn't handle it so we decided on cutting it off for good and letting the hair regrow. It will be interesting how people react. I highly suspect that most people don't care. Well this took time away from my excercise plans and I decided to skip it on more time. I feel Kind of badass but I am sure I grew accustomed to this rash decision pretty speedily.

Goals (6months until 28.2.2017)

-  I have consistently trained or at least  2 workouts for the last 6months

- I finished my internship and found an awesome Master thesis which will help to improve my employability in my area of living

- I have deepened my relationship s so I allow me to be more vulnerable towards my wife and my friends.

- I studied a lot in my own free time and decided where I want to work ( finished python book, start learning cfd, finished electronics online learning,finished linux ebook).

Goals(1month/ until 28.9.)

- I decided if I do my master thesis at the place of my internship or somewhere else

- I have a Routine established for my standard tasks( cleaning, workout, studying )

- I did clear some organisational issues at university

Goals(this week/ until sunday)

- finish another chapter at the online electronics site

- follow the schedule 3 days in a row

- make a weekly schedule

 get a haircut

Goals(daily)

- call my father because of money issue

- make an doctor appointment because of my hurting toe

- go to light therapy for my neurodermitis

- make a weekly schedule

exercise clean kitchen surfaces and wash dishes

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30.8.2016

I need to write my Journal first and then go reading the other journals here, not the other way around. Basically I used this morning aorund 30 min of my electronics study to browse game quitters:(. Btw. people dig my bold-ness :P. seems like my head has a good form for it(lucky me). First day I stuck to my plans feel good. I also talked about me commitin harder to my Goals with my wife and she is really supportive. I feel great so far. I now Need only ot be more focussed at work and get more stuff done immediatly instead of procrastinating and I will be thrilled about my days! And ofcourse consitency is important. But I re-reading the slight edge right now, so keeping this in mind will be easy.

I finished reading "Frankenstein" and it was actually an awesome book. Really worth checking out especially because it is a free classic on Amazon.

 

Goals (6months until 28.2.2017)

-  I have consistently trained or at least  2 workouts for the last 6months

- I finished my internship and found an awesome Master thesis which will help to improve my employability in my area of living

- I have deepened my relationship s so I allow me to be more vulnerable towards my wife and my friends.

- I studied a lot in my own free time and decided where I want to work ( finished python book, start learning cfd, finished electronics online learning,finished linux ebook).

Goals(1month/ until 28.9.)

- I decided if I do my master thesis at the place of my internship or somewhere else

- I have a routine established for my standard tasks( cleaning, workout, studying )

- I did clear some organisational issues at university

Goals(this week/ until sunday)

- finish another chapter at the online electronics site

- follow the schedule 3 days in a row

Goals(daily)

- make an doctor appointment because of my hurting toe

- call my sister and talkwith her for some time(haven't heard from here for a while)

- tidy up my room and place two cabinets to fill them with books.

 

 

 

 

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31.8.2016

I write this Journa lentry before looking around here. Success! I forgot two things I wanted to do but I guess it would have been hard to press in the time anyway. Had a productive day and even if I procrastinated a bit after work I did my workout and felt great about it. I think it was more of a planning overload then anything else yesterday. But things are starting to get rolling again. I kind of feel how my brain synchronises with the demands I formulate at it. I'll investing steady effort over time to become awesome! Most important for me is that I actually do the things which are uncomfortable for me. If I can keep this alone up it will be worh my effort.

 

Goals (6months until 28.2.2017)

-  I have consistently trained or at least  2 workouts for the last 6months

- I finished my internship and found an awesome Master thesis which will help to improve my employability in my area of living

- I have deepened my relationship s so I allow me to be more vulnerable towards my wife and my friends.

- I studied a lot in my own free time and decided where I want to work ( finished python book, start learning cfd, finished electronics online learning,finished linux ebook).

Goals(1month/ until 28.9.)

- I decided if I do my master thesis at the place of my internship or somewhere else

- I have a routine established for my standard tasks( cleaning, workout, studying )

- I did clear some organisational issues at university

Goals(this week/ until sunday)

- finish another chapter at the online electronics site

- follow the schedule 3 days in a row

Goals(daily)

- Fulfill my planned workschedule

- call my sister and talkwith her for some time(haven't heard from here for a while. (forgot it)

- tidy up my room and place two cabinets to fill them with books (forgot it)

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I forgot to submit my last entry, which I carefully typed. Well I write this mostly for my self so not that important

2.9.2016

I forgot my mobile phone yesterday and was amazed how uncomfortable I felt without it. No clock in reach and if smth would happen I wouldn't know. I also realized how often I use it to get a little break at work. I will Limit my phone usage at work. I will check it 3 times a day. Before work, before lunch, and around one hour after lunch if I don'T expect any Special messages.

 I chatted in the evening with a few fellow gamequitters, and besides it beeing ufn I took away that I Need to be more appreciative about the things I already achieved. Secretly I still think their will be a big Moment where vereything falls into place and I make a Quantum leap to the positive. But there is  most likely no such Thing. And I still improved a lot. I do a lot of crazy stuff These day which jsut doesn't seem so hard or Special because I got here gradually. I am way more confident have a deeper Connection to my wife, I do excercise consistently for a Long time, I care for my health and have ambitions at my studys and work. I improved my average grades around  one grade and I learned to programm and got used to Linux.I don't use YouTube/reddit/Facebook for my Entertainment and do instead read a lot more. I even do cold showers every freakin day! It is crazy that in my head there is  a voice who still focusses on the bad things and don't appreciate this improvements. It is important to see where you have room for improvement and challenge yourself, but this shall be an enty of very egopistical self praise. I am doing fine.

Good Job me!

PS. I skip my daily koals because they are kind of random and I just don't have the time if I don't plan them in my weekly schedule. I opt for making my weekly schedule flexible enough that I still can do the important stuff. I will not feel bad for every little thing I Forget, because most of the time this aren't that important things. Instead I will take a few minutes after every journal entry to write a external todo-list for work and for my private life and rate it after importance.  

Goals (6months until 28.2.2017)

-  I have consistently trained or at least  2 workouts/week for the last 6months

- I finished my internship and found an awesome Master thesis which will help to improve my employability in my area of living

- I have deepened my relationship and I allow myself to be more vulnerable towards my wife and my friends.

- I studied a lot in my own free time and decided where I want to work ( finished python book, start learning cfd, finished electronics online learning,finished linux ebook).

Goals (1month/ until 28.9.)

- I decided if I do my master thesis at the place of my internship or somewhere else

- I have a routine established for my standard tasks( cleaning, workout, studying )

- I did clear some organisational issues at university

Goals (this week/ until sunday)

- finish another chapter at the online electronics site

- follow the schedule 3 days in a row

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3.9.2016

I feel bad today. Kind of sick, it hurts to move and my belly hurts a bit. I am at work now, but I seriously consider going home again. I am not sure if I am jsut tired and if I get into work everything will lighten up. I am prone to using not feeling well, as an excuse and I don't want to do this this time. I will try my best until lunch and if things doesn't improve I will go back home.I'm  not really motivated to write a lot today. But I have to mention that I missed my second work-out last week because I didn't took the time for it. I also couldn't fullfill my weekly Goal of following my schedule for 3 days straight. I don't really now what the problem is, but I figure it is misisng wilpower and determination. Or maybe I was just unlucky and stuff came up and I had to be flexible.   I don't know what goals I have for this week. I will think about it today.

Mood:

- whiny, doubting,

Goals (6months until 28.2.2017)

-  I have consistently trained or at least  2 workouts/week for the last 6months

- I finished my internship and found an awesome Master thesis which will help to improve my employability in my area of living

- I have deepened my relationship and I allow myself to be more vulnerable towards my wife and my friends.

- I studied a lot in my own free time and decided where I want to work ( finished python book, start learning cfd, finished electronics online learning,finished linux ebook).

Goals (1month/ until 28.9.)

- I decided if I do my master thesis at the place of my internship or somewhere else

- I have a routine established for my standard tasks( cleaning, workout, studying )

- I did clear some organisational issues at university

Goals (1week/11.9.)

- ?

- ?

 

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4.9.2016

After a rocky morning the day improved a lot. I actually wasn't sick just tired. As I got moving at work, I got shit done which left me energized. I also did clean the bathroom which I was procrastinating for some time and found the energy to do an shorter workout. Actually hit a new record at pull-ups because my muscles were more rested. All in all a good day. I really like that I could turn this day around even if it took some time to do so.

Goals (6months until 28.2.2017)

-  I have consistently trained or at least  2 workouts/week for the last 6months

- I finished my internship and found an awesome Master thesis which will help to improve my employability in my area of living

- I have deepened my relationship and I allow myself to be more vulnerable towards my wife and my friends.

- I studied a lot in my own free time and decided where I want to work ( finished python book, start learning cfd, finished electronics online learning,finished linux ebook).

Goals (1month/ until 28.9.)

- I decided if I do my master thesis at the place of my internship or somewhere else

- I have a routine established for my standard tasks( cleaning, workout, studying )

- I did clear some organisational issues at university

Goals (1week/11.9.)

- finish AC-chapter

- Do at least 15 pull-ups

- finish the Frame of my  test stand at work

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I need to write my Journal first and then go reading the other journals here, not the other way around.

This is actually a very good tip, i noticed i do (and now did) the same, and although it is mostly worth it and interesting, it is also a time drainer. 

Btw how did that bald head felt like for the first time? :) i'm just picturing some sort of Mr. Heisenbergggggg here! 

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5.9.201

 i'm just picturing some sort of Mr. Heisenbergggggg here! 

Hey Rick welcome back! ;) A friend of mine said the same Thing:) I try mroe to get into the "Transporter" Style:P It felt a little weird at first, but i am really happy with it. Nice to have more cooling surface in summer.

Yesterday was just a relaxed day. Sadly my wife couldn't go for a walk with me, but I did spontaneously go for a jog and it was pretty fun. Still Feeling my toe hurt a Little under stress though. I have an appointment at the doctor tomorrow but doubt something will show up.  We'll see. Now that I am able to do some work away from the Computer at work, I get (kinda) productive. Still some work to be done at this section of my life though.

Goals (6months until 28.2.2017)

-  I have consistently trained or at least  2 workouts/week for the last 6months

- I finished my internship and found an awesome Master thesis which will help to improve my employability in my area of living

- I have deepened my relationship and I allow myself to be more vulnerable towards my wife and my friends.

- I studied a lot in my own free time and decided where I want to work ( finished python book, start learning cfd, finished electronics online learning,finished linux ebook).

Goals (1month/ until 28.9.)

- I decided if I do my master thesis at the place of my internship or somewhere else

- I have a routine established for my standard tasks( cleaning, workout, studying )

- I did clear some organisational issues at university

Goals (1week/11.9.)

- finish AC-chapter

- Do at least 15 pull-ups

- finish the Frame of my  test stand at work

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8.9.2016

Got some bad news yesterday and trying to handle my emotions. It feels like beeing sad will hinder me at working out stuff I need to do. On the other hand I am not sure if emotions are controllable. But is it really a good idea to feel all this"bad" feelings all the time? Or is it more healthy to keep a distance to your problems  and let time weaken your emotions so you can handle them better? I am not sure how much this thoughts are relevant, because I suspect my influence on my feelings is pretty limited. I think I have to accept them and try to move on anyway.

Work and goalwise everything is going fine right now. Just some more motivation to invest the free time I have into myselfs education, instead of hanging out here so often, or browsing is needed. I will get there in time.

Goals (6months until 28.2.2017)

-  I have consistently trained or at least  2 workouts/week for the last 6months

- I finished my internship and found an awesome Master thesis which will help to improve my employability in my area of living

- I have deepened my relationship and I allow myself to be more vulnerable towards my wife and my friends.

- I studied a lot in my own free time and decided where I want to work ( finished python book, start learning cfd, finished electronics online learning,finished linux ebook).

Goals (1month/ until 28.9.)

- I decided if I do my master thesis at the place of my internship or somewhere else

- I have a routine established for my standard tasks( cleaning, workout, studying )

- I did clear some organisational issues at university

Goals (1week/11.9.)

- finish AC-chapter

- Do at least 15 pull-ups

- finish the Frame of my  test stand at work

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Got some bad news yesterday and trying to handle my emotions. It feels like beeing sad will hinder me at working out stuff I need to do. On the other hand I am not sure if emotions are controllable. But is it really a good idea to feel all this"bad" feelings all the time? Or is it more healthy to keep a distance to your problems  and let time weaken your emotions so you can handle them better? I am not sure how much this thoughts are relevant, because I suspect my influence on my feelings is pretty limited. I think I have to accept them and try to move on anyway.

Accepting them and letting them be. No need to escape or suppress them. They are what they are. The less resistance you have to them the more you can process them. That's my two cents. Sorry to hear about the bad news. We're here for you.

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10.9.2016

Yesterday was a good day. Did my chores and and enjoyed spending more time then usual with my wife. It feels god that we still talk about the difficult stuff in our life and are able to support each other.

On the other hand I realised that jobs in my area aren't really tailor made for my Masters degree. Most jobs want electrical engineers right now and that's exactly what is missing in my study's. On the one hand it is good that I started to study the basics but I feel it is kind of illusionary to compete with people who spent a few years in this field and have way more practical experience. The same goes for the IT branch. Found on a job search only two job offers who would fit my skill set. To some degree I expected this, but not in such an depressing way. The main problem is that I want to stay in the local area. And while here are many jobs most of them aren't fitting. I feel like I have to make a plan B to get a job and some business experience for a few years. This would also buy me more time to learn awesome skills for more interesting jobs. Well my life plan was  a little naive from the start: Study, find an easy job wihtout ehavy work, earn cash , build a family... Should been clear that life isn't that easy. But I guess my mind wasn't that clear as I finished school and I games away y thinking about my life phase...

Let's get to a more delightful topic. I thought of a great blog/website idea and will start to create content for it. The cool thing is that it won't take much extra time and will allow me to attain new skills. I will use a limited time to learn something new, i.e.  30min a day to learn creating an awesome wordpress site. Then I will use another 30min a day to write about my experiences and give people reading this blog/website a picture of how they could do the same. I will start projects(i.e. one month of electronics(there will be sparks)). The vision I have is that I could use the internet to let people profit from my own experiences, learning new things and showing them that improving is possible even if you work/study/go to school and have a limited time every day. They could even follow along if they want to and share their own experiences with me or other readers. The great thing is that there is no risk involved. I only loose my spent time and a little money on hosting a website and obtaining a domain. I will  attaining new skills(writing, English, storytelling, internet tools, time management, etc. etc.) and learn new skills more thoroughly because I rehearse what I learn in a way. If you have any ideas or suggestions for me, I would appreciate your input. Cloud intelligence( of the 3 people reading my journal) do your work and create wonders for me!

Goals (6months until 28.2.2017)

-  I have consistently trained or at least  2 workouts/week for the last 6months

- I finished my intern ship and found an awesome Master thesis which will help to improve my employability in my area of living

- I have deepened my relationship and I allow myself to be more vulnerable towards my wife and my friends.

- I studied a lot in my own free time and decided where I want to work ( finished python book, start learning cfd, finished electronics online learning,finished linux ebook).

Goals (1month/ until 28.9.)

- I decided if I do my master thesis at the place of my intern ship or somewhere else

- I have a routine established for my standard tasks( cleaning, workout, studying )

- I did clear some organisational issues at university

Goals (1week/11.9.)

- finish AC-chapter

- Do at least 15 pull-ups

 

 

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