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Nice weekend! I discovered a nice site that lets you touch type competitively, and I enjoy doing it. Looks like I can't type more than 180 symbols per minute so I'm extremely slow, but I keep it simple and don't rush. I have to hone my skills and speed will come. 

 I finished the series and I'm absolutely content with how it ended, nice happy ending. 

@BooksandTrees thank you!

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8 hours ago, Vera said:

Nice weekend! I discovered a nice site that lets you touch type competitively, and I enjoy doing it. Looks like I can't type more than 180 symbols per minute so I'm extremely slow, but I keep it simple and don't rush. I have to hone my skills and speed will come. 

 I finished the series and I'm absolutely content with how it ended, nice happy ending. 

@BooksandTrees thank you!

There's a website called 10fastfingers that lets you type and record your typing. I found out I type 111 words per minute which was nice to see lol. That's the one good thing about playing RuneScape for about 12 years I guess.

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Oh well, I'm able to post again.

Don't even know where to start. My new year celebration wasn't anything special mostly because I was drop dead tired from working overtime whole December. I've worked for 9 days straight before new years and all I wanted was to lay down and sleep. I also got sick, had to take medicine which was extremely unpleasant and quite painful. After dealing with one illness I discovered that I had another one, and symptoms got me so worked up I left work today and spent most of the day at hospitals. Doctor prescribed one medicine and this pill makes me feel like I am drunk. I can't focus and my coordination is so low I can barely type which is very very sad. This pill has the longest side effects list I've ever seen in my life and it seems I'm going go meet most of them if not all. If there are girls reading - keep yourself warm and manage your stress levels, girls, I suffer because my work environment isn't that warm most of the time and it was a hell of a month.

I have to take it for 10 days 2 times a day which means I'll feel like that at work, it's another pretty sad thing.

When I came at work today, whole room was stinking of cat piss and rotten food. I don't know who allowed cats inside, but I know who allowed to open the door while cats were outside and to be honest I'm really surprised with how stupid this person is, but wait. I am not surprised at all. It's kinda their normal state - to be arrogant and claim they are always right, and judge other people.

I have some good news as well. I've got SSD and re-installed Linux. I feel like I have new PC now, it works fast and I'm happy about it.

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2 hours ago, Vera said:

Oh well, I'm able to post again.

Don't even know where to start. My new year celebration wasn't anything special mostly because I was drop dead tired from working overtime whole December. I've worked for 9 days straight before new years and all I wanted was to lay down and sleep. I also got sick, had to take medicine which was extremely unpleasant and quite painful. After dealing with one illness I discovered that I had another one, and symptoms got me so worked up I left work today and spent most of the day at hospitals. Doctor prescribed one medicine and this pill makes me feel like I am drunk. I can't focus and my coordination is so low I can barely type which is very very sad. This pill has the longest side effects list I've ever seen in my life and it seems I'm going go meet most of them if not all. If there are girls reading - keep yourself warm and manage your stress levels, girls, I suffer because my work environment isn't that warm most of the time and it was a hell of a month.

I have to take it for 10 days 2 times a day which means I'll feel like that at work, it's another pretty sad thing.

When I came at work today, whole room was stinking of cat piss and rotten food. I don't know who allowed cats inside, but I know who allowed to open the door while cats were outside and to be honest I'm really surprised with how stupid this person is, but wait. I am not surprised at all. It's kinda their normal state - to be arrogant and claim they are always right, and judge other people.

I have some good news as well. I've got SSD and re-installed Linux. I feel like I have new PC now, it works fast and I'm happy about it.

Are you able to look for a new job? This place seems very detrimental to your health. If you keep this up you're not going to make it far in life. You're basically living to work, going home to rest and heal, then go back and are unhappy. There must be a new career field or job opportunity out there or something. 

I hope you continue to recover and feel better soon.

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@BooksandTrees I'm getting ready to look for a new job! I need some skills and my current job is forgiving enough so I can study while at work. Once I'm done, I'll leave immediately. There's nothing holding me back except fear of not finding better job. I've worked there for so long it's hard to imagine myself leaving, but that's not really true. The more I work the more I understand that my current job is a dead-end, and it won't be better with time, it's going to be only worse.

My keyboard has come and it's funny how easy it is to type on. I have to adapt to how it works, it's a bit strange but I like it. Hope it works well for a long time.

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I'm having a great day. Woke up early, took my medicine and spent most of the  time training touch typing on my new keyboard. It's getting easier to type on it, I'm not making as many mistakes. I have to take care of my aquarium which I neglected for several days because I wasn't feeling well, but water change is a must. Medicine makes it hard to do any physical job and my coordination is not as good, so I won't go outside today. I also need to tidy things up.My bed will stay as it is because I might want to lay down during the day.

I'm going to repeat myself, but doing something productive is really beneficial for me. I'm calm and satisfied when I know that my day wasn't wasted on doing pointless stuff. All I have to do is to do it day by day and it's going to be fine. I don't have high expectations of myself, but I know I can live a better life if I continue to work hard and study. I didn't get good formal education and hated studying for many years  despite getting good grades in school, and my mom didn't know what to do with me (and I'm not mad at her, I was truly awful at my worst), but I'm the one responsible for myself now. I appreciate the mindset of 'no one will come to rescue you, you gotta do it yourself'. It took me a long time to accept that.

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I've been typing competitively for a long time today. My speed improved to a little over 200 cpm, but I still make a lot of mistakes. At least I don't feel like my keyboard is holding me back.

I found little game about artificial intelligence and I'm going to check it out. I still have fear of huge games, games that take up dozens of gigabytes make me feel like they're going to eat my computer. But I am really interested in this little project, so I'm going to run it and find out if it is good.

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I love this little game! It makes me think as a developer and solve problems by trial and error which is really nice! 

Don't know yet what I'd like to do today, since it's holiday and I feel better than yesterday I might go outside and enjoy the weather.

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20 hours ago, Vera said:

I love this little game! It makes me think as a developer and solve problems by trial and error which is really nice! 

Don't know yet what I'd like to do today, since it's holiday and I feel better than yesterday I might go outside and enjoy the weather.

Going outside will be nice. I think just a different perspective on your environment will help improve things and boost your mood for sure.

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Holidays are over and I'm back on track.

Had really nice time feeding my fishes tonight. I bought frozen live foods and they loved it. I think I can make their diet better now, and it's not hard at all. My mother said if I bring any worms home, she'll have a heart attack. I thought about keeping small worms as a live food, but I guess it'll have to wait for some time.

I couldn't fall asleep last night, my mind was full of very stupid thoughts about work and stuff. I woke up feeling like a beaten dog, but now I'm feeling better. I took a walk after work, it's snowing and the weather is a bit too windy but still good to be outside. To be honest, I should use my time more wisely so I'm going to do some math to let my fingers rest from constant touch typing. And it's definitely time to learn qwerty layout, I feel like uncomfortable while looking down on the keyboard, it strains my neck.

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On 1/9/2020 at 11:24 AM, Vera said:

Holidays are over and I'm back on track.

Had really nice time feeding my fishes tonight. I bought frozen live foods and they loved it. I think I can make their diet better now, and it's not hard at all. My mother said if I bring any worms home, she'll have a heart attack. I thought about keeping small worms as a live food, but I guess it'll have to wait for some time.

I couldn't fall asleep last night, my mind was full of very stupid thoughts about work and stuff. I woke up feeling like a beaten dog, but now I'm feeling better. I took a walk after work, it's snowing and the weather is a bit too windy but still good to be outside. To be honest, I should use my time more wisely so I'm going to do some math to let my fingers rest from constant touch typing. And it's definitely time to learn qwerty layout, I feel like uncomfortable while looking down on the keyboard, it strains my neck.

Just keep focusing on your future and finding a potential job. You have a plan. It's getting classes done and making yourself a better candidate for a better job. This will improve your life. I did this for 2 years and found a better job. It made me feel better and I'm enjoying life now.

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@BooksandTrees it will! I just have to remember that my life depends on my own actions. It makes it easier and difficult at the same time, but it's way more interesting than playing as any fictional character. I miss gaming foe being an easy fix sometimes, but it's not easy once you turn the game off, you go from hero to zero and that's not how I want my life to be. So I'll keep working no matter what. It will pay off. 🙂  

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I found new relaxing hobby to do while I'm idle or listening to audiobooks. I'll knit cords and then crochet baskets and small carpets out of it. For me it's like meditation, but you aren't just staring at the wall or sitting with your eyes closed. I have one more problem now - where to store all the cords? 🙂

In short, weekend was fairly good. I walked quite a lot, but didn't feel well today so had to return home a bit earlier than  expected. This medicine is the worst I've ever seen, but it helps and there's only one day left, so not that much left to endure.

Social media became boring for me. I barely check anything except for Discord and I don't feel like it makes a huge difference. Nobody is interested in me and I feel absolutely satisfied when doing my own thing. I become restless and lonely when my life isn't filled with meaningful activities, that's one more point for sticking to my daily routine.

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22 minutes ago, Vera said:

I found new relaxing hobby to do while I'm idle or listening to audiobooks. I'll knit cords and then crochet baskets and small carpets out of it. For me it's like meditation, but you aren't just staring at the wall or sitting with your eyes closed. I have one more problem now - where to store all the cords? 🙂

In short, weekend was fairly good. I walked quite a lot, but didn't feel well today so had to return home a bit earlier than  expected. This medicine is the worst I've ever seen, but it helps and there's only one day left, so not that much left to endure.

Social media became boring for me. I barely check anything except for Discord and I don't feel like it makes a huge difference. Nobody is interested in me and I feel absolutely satisfied when doing my own thing. I become restless and lonely when my life isn't filled with meaningful activities, that's one more point for sticking to my daily routine.

I had the same reaction to social media. It's just a platform for sociopaths and narcissists who either post positive or negative things of clamor to receive attention. It's just for attention seekers and if we're included in the post it's for their benefit. It's this odd place to feel lonely, used, and jealous all in one place. I don't even like discord as you know lol. 

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7 hours ago, Vera said:

I found new relaxing hobby to do while I'm idle or listening to audiobooks. I'll knit cords and then crochet baskets and small carpets out of it. For me it's like meditation, but you aren't just staring at the wall or sitting with your eyes closed. I have one more problem now - where to store all the cords? 🙂

In short, weekend was fairly good. I walked quite a lot, but didn't feel well today so had to return home a bit earlier than  expected. This medicine is the worst I've ever seen, but it helps and there's only one day left, so not that much left to endure.

Social media became boring for me. I barely check anything except for Discord and I don't feel like it makes a huge difference. Nobody is interested in me and I feel absolutely satisfied when doing my own thing. I become restless and lonely when my life isn't filled with meaningful activities, that's one more point for sticking to my daily routine.

I have the same response to social media. I quite Instagram over a week ago, and I feel better. Everyone on there was trying to sell me something or promote their product. To me it’s like a business tool... that I do not want to be a part of. 
 

I am glad you like knitting and crocheting! It can be very relaxing and gives you something to concentrate on. The baskets sound really beautiful. 
 

Take care my friend.

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I use social media as a phone book for the most part. In the (unlikely) case I need to get in touch with someone, I can do so and so can they, generally in order to meet up in person. I actually think most people use it this way. Myself, I've also been using FB to scan for local events I might be interested in and to search for places I might be interested in visiting with others.

I agree on the points made by all three of you, if I got them correctly - nobody is overly interested in me on social media, writing me every day (and I think that's good), it's a hub for the minority of attention seekers that decide to use SM as their platform (that I don't care about) and a place of adverts (which is useless, if you are not using SM to actively search for something in particular like I am).

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Thanks for your attention @Ikar @Icandothis @BooksandTrees I haven't quit social media completely and I still use it sometimes but it's not something I do often.

Knitting goes well, I made more than 2 meters of cord but there's still a lot I should do, it's only the beginning. I have one or two knitting projects in my head, but I will not rush it, I want to relax while knitting, not make it feel like work.

I don't have to take the medicine, I'm very happy about that. I have to sleep well to recover and I think I can start doing simple exercises in a day or two. Since I visited the gym three or four times in December, but paid for the whole month, I didn't renew my membership, it'd be a waste of money. I'll probably go there when my full health is back, but I think that my diet is a way bigger issue for me than exercise. I thought about keeping a food diary, it's the perfect moment to start keeping better track of my food and especially my water intake. I struggle with it too. I should probably get a 1L bottle so I have better understanding of how much water I drink every day.

I almost relapsed this weekend but cancelled the download and moved on. I did it because I bumped into awesome series on Youtube. This game is a sandbox so there's no fixed storyline, but this player made a beautiful story out of it. I really admire how skillful he is at writing and narrating. Wish I could have such a skill. I noticed that I talk less and worse and even stutter sometimes, which is understandable. That's also another thing I should fix. Honestly, I have no regrets about watching this series because it made me realize my own weak points and pushed me in the right direction. I wouldn't be happy grinding for an in-game achievement knowing that it steals the time I could spend getting better at more meaningful things.

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First day of exercise after a long, really long hiatus and sedentary lifestyle. I don't have any endurance, and simple bodyweight exercises showed me how weak I am. But I feel satisfied anyway, it motivates me to get better. I bought a nice 500ml water bottle and I keep my water intake as high as possible, around 2l every day. It's way easier with a nice bottle tbh. 🙂

I also keep knitting and studying math after work. Touch typing progress slowed down, my speed is hovering under 200cpm and I keep making silly mistakes. Competitive typing is just not for me now, I need to dial down and make my technique better, not try to type faster and learn wrong movement patterns.

I found an easy way to get back into learning flashcards. I wanted to make my own stacks because I used other people's ones and it became REALLY boring to go over things I don't need. I tried it and it works! Now I need to make a good stack of cards to help me get better (my grammar is a mess).

Life is good overall. Obstacles keep popping up but it doesn't scare me.

 

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3 hours ago, Vera said:

First day of exercise after a long, really long hiatus and sedentary lifestyle. I don't have any endurance, and simple bodyweight exercises showed me how weak I am. But I feel satisfied anyway, it motivates me to get better. I bought a nice 500ml water bottle and I keep my water intake as high as possible, around 2l every day. It's way easier with a nice bottle tbh. 🙂

I also keep knitting and studying math after work. Touch typing progress slowed down, my speed is hovering under 200cpm and I keep making silly mistakes. Competitive typing is just not for me now, I need to dial down and make my technique better, not try to type faster and learn wrong movement patterns.

I found an easy way to get back into learning flashcards. I wanted to make my own stacks because I used other people's ones and it became REALLY boring to go over things I don't need. I tried it and it works! Now I need to make a good stack of cards to help me get better (my grammar is a mess).

Life is good overall. Obstacles keep popping up but it doesn't scare me.

 

Good job. Getting back to the gym is tough. I haven't been in 2 years. It feels more of a burden and mission vs stress relief and enjoyment. Maybe one day I'll change my mind lol.

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