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Edward's Journal


Zakaex

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Result Oriented Goals 

( Result oriented goals are the outcomes that I wish to have accomplished, with specific, measurable indicators to see how well I am doing)

 

  • Long Term Goals (My Commitment )
    • I abstain from any computer, console, and mobile games (including any source of gaming streams) for 90 days, from January 13, 2016, to April 12, 2016.
    • I am to become more active and social in my day to day life while stepping up my GPA in college after the 90-day detox on April 12, 2016. 

 

  • Short Term Goals (Milestones) 
    • [COMPLETED 01/14/2016]   I abstain from any computer, console, and mobile games (including any source of gaming streams) for 1 day, from January 13, 2016, to January 14, 2016.
    • [COMPLETED 01/20/2016] I abstain from any computer, console, and mobile games (including any source of gaming streams) for 7 days, from January 13, 2016, to January 20, 2016.
    • [COMPLETED 01/27/2016] I abstain from any computer, console and mobile games (including any source of gaming streams) for 14 days, from January 13, 2016, to January 27, 2016.
    • [COMPLETED 11/02/2016] I abstain from any computer, console, and mobile games (including any source of gaming streams) for 30 days, from January 13, 2016, to February 11, 2016.

 

  Action Oriented Goals

 (Action-oriented goals are actions that I am taking within 24 hours to build momentum every day to achieve my result oriented goals )

  • Process Goals (Actions Taken At the Meantime)
    • [COMPLETED 01/27/2016] I study and go through one Respawn: Elite module every day from January 17, 2016, to  January 24, 2016.
Edited by Zakaex
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Day 1   (January 13, 2016)

Ever since I flew back home for Christmas, I began to indulge myself in all sorts of entertainment (mostly gaming) for the sake of rewarding myself for those long hard nights of cramming and studying for exams. Stopped working out, reading, meditating and all the other healthy habits that I had been working on for around two months now - thought it is about time I received my reward.

Little did I know,  I became a boiling frog: Spending almost every single day playing Fallout 4 and League Of Legends, only going out for festive dinners with family. Just when I thought this would all end once I flew back to school overseas, the problem just became worse. Even without any access to consoles, I was tempted by my housemates who began playing League Of Legends again, with the game installed freshly on my laptop I started binging on it day in and day out, going so far as to skipping meals and classes altogether. 

Yesterday, after an exhausting eight-hour marathon, I went for a shower and realized I did not even want to see myself in the mirror again; I was psychologically torn apart by the fact that this man is an entirely different person before getting bombarded with all these addictive pixels on a screen. That is when I know I needed help, and luckily, found Quit Gaming.

Let the journey begin!

Edited by Zakaex
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Awesome to have you join us man! :)

Hey brother, we're all in this together. I'm glad that you made the choice to change your life. I too was into league intensively. If you would like we can talk about it :) 

Speaking of boiled frogs, my favorite song of all time is about it :D https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kgkMlEn8L2E

Thanks for the support guys, it's great to know that I am not alone in this!

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Day 2   (January 14, 2016)

Made it on day two of my ninety-day detox mission, so far my life has been all the more productive with every aspect of life.

Moreover, for the first time in weeks, I have finally felt a sense of accomplishment. Unlike winning a game in League Of Legends, this feeling of satisfaction does not fade away within the hour and become blanketed with regrets slowly after. If I had to use an analogy to describe how that felt; imagine trying to fill up a bottle with small poked holes. For every hour of video games I played, I manage to fill up this bottle with water, which gives me a temporary satisfaction until all the water eventually leaks out - The only other solution for me then is to continue playing another hour of video games, trapping myself in an never ending cycle.

As I spent the day checking off my 'Dailies' off of my Habitica app: Meditation, reading for 25 minutes, brain training activities, etc. I realized that the process of doing them was not as fun as video games for sure, but the rewards of being able to overcome these small challenges to toughen up myself were more motivating and overall more satisfying than any other games I have ever played.

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Day 3   (January 15, 2016)

Made it through another day clean of video games again, while encountering a few old tempting habits today.

Usually as a past time, I would have been viewing 'Let's Plays' on the latest horror games that are out on the market. If not, it would probably be catching up on Netflix shows. Although this does not rule me out of the ninety-day detox challenge, it still somehow ruins the point of it for me. According to Cam's video, the idea of the whole detox is to close up a  chapter of our life and leave it behind for good - this to me means replacing these substitutive intoxicants with healthy habits that can benefit us physically and mentally over in the long run. Things such as reading more, watching documentaries and TED talks, etc.

So far, I still will need to work on getting rid of my habit of watching Netflix shows as a replacement and reward for myself. Perhaps from tomorrow then on, instead of chilling in my room trying to catch up on the latest episodes, I should focus on the work that is ahead of me: Begin going over the Respawn: Elite modules one day at a time and do some extra studying to catch up on my already-behind studies, toughen up and know that the better things in life come from forgoing the obstacles in our path to success.

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Day 4   (January 15, 2016)

Spent the day working on my daily missions (reading for twenty minutes, meditating, studying self-development video) and also getting to know me better with the Myers-Briggs test. Couldn't help but notice that I wouldn't even be bothered with any of that just a few days ago too, quitting video games is improving every aspect of myself for the better.

I still lack an action plan, however, to execute on committing towards the goal of quitting video gaming for good - I am still procrastinating on going over Respawn: Elite modules even when it is something I have decided to invest in with money. Therefore, as of today, I have implemented a four-step goal setting action plan that will ensure my success (added on my first post in the journal entry). 

 

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Good job man. A big thing we talk about around here is to allow the small habits to compound over time (this is called The Slight Edge). Although as you've identified there are things you could do better, it's important to focus on encouragement instead of discouragement. You're doing many small habits that you wouldn't have done before and these compounding over time will bring you great results. Continue to adapt and tweak your routine to be in alignment with what you truly desire. :)

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Good job man. A big thing we talk about around here is to allow the small habits to compound over time (this is called The Slight Edge). Although as you've identified there are things you could do better, it's important to focus on encouragement instead of discouragement. You're doing many small habits that you wouldn't have done before and these compounding over time will bring you great results. Continue to adapt and tweak your routine to be in alignment with what you truly desire. :)

Thank you for the advice Cam,

Hopefully, I am doing as you told, by making small milestone steps for me to hit on to build momentum (i.e. a seven-day detox achievement) I can build up that encouragement that I need (then a total of 90 days would not seem so overwhelming of a one-shot). Tweaking my alignments with little daily habits such as reading twenty minutes minimum, going over a Respawn module and one educational Game Quitters YouTube video to slowly build up The Slight Edge effect!

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Day 5   (January 17, 2016)

I did it! Laying out a step-by-step plan did help to build the little momentum for myself to keep on going forward no matter how small that step is. I think it was Bruce Lee who said: "I fear not the man who practiced 10,000 kicks in a day, but I fear the man who has practiced one kick each day for 10,000 days." By following my action-oriented goals, I was able to take action and finally, begin on the first Respawn module that I have been procrastinating to start on doing since starting my 90-day detox.

While filling out the worksheet, I have noticed that the reasons I play video games are mainly social. They provide me a common interest to be able to find friends and through that I am always challenged to try and be the most dominant player of them all, and that gives me a sense of purpose in my life. If how the people around you affects your personal success. Then as unpleasant as it sounds, I will have to move somehow slowly away from the friend group (of gamers) that I am in right now to others. :( 

 

 

Evernote Camera Roll 20160117 232313.jpg

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Day 6   (January 18, 2016)

Continued towards the next module in the Respawn series today, went over the video and wrote down on the worksheet the emotions I am currently experiencing while embarking on this long journey to personal freedom. 

Usually, writing/typing my thoughts out clears out the mind and puts things into perspective. I felt regret, after quitting gaming for almost a week now opened my mind to the many missed opportunities and chances I could have had if the time given to me went onto leveling up my life instead of my World of Warcraft characters. Although looking backward, I had tremendous amounts of fun and made many friends throughout my gaming career, but when it comes to what if's I would always think back to how different my life would be if I had not discovered video games... 

It is, however, not the time to be holding on to my past, on how many years I have wasted, but how many years I still have to chase my success in life. 

 

Evernote Camera Roll 20160119 003107.jpg

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Although looking backward, I had tremendous amounts of fun and made many friends throughout my gaming career, but when it comes to what if's I would always think back to how different my life would be if I had not discovered video games... 

Exactly. And moving on from games doesn't take anything away from the times you had or the friends you made. We have different phases of our life and being able to enjoy them in the moment and move on with grace when the time comes are both important for a great life.

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Day 7   (January 19, 2016)

(Internet was down since last night, and I couldn't go on the web, but here I am after class on the laptop again continuing documenting my process last night. One day late for this post but I was able to get through a two Respawn modules  and get up to date with my commitment goals)

Today I went through possibly one of the toughest modules in Respawn, it is a rather subjective list of instructions that I had to follow but nevertheless did what I had to do. It felt like making one of those big decisions in video games like in Fallout 4 where you reached a point to make a huge decision in siding with one faction (while everyone else will turn against you for doing so). 

In philosophy, there are two views on how to live your life - stoic and epicurean. The Stoic believes in sacrificing the now for a better tomorrow (or something amongst those lines), and Epicureans eat drink and party in the now for they are unsure of whether or not they will even make it tomorrow. And up until this point, I have always lived my life like an Epicurean: procrastinating to play video games, eating all the junk I see. Choosing to quit video games is somewhat like a ritual to me for converting into a Stoic, walking with blind faith hoping that one day my life will be better. But since no one can guarantee there is a tomorrow, we must play the best odds we can in life - no billionaires or famous actors in Hollywood has ever made it by playing video games day in and day out. Thus, if detaching myself from them is clearly the better choice to make, and then I am willing to make such a sacrifice.

 

 

Evernote Camera Roll 20160120 160513.jpg

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Interesting insight about the stoic and epicurean. I've always related this in a way to the story of two paths. You can either check-in or you can check-out. I have a video coming out about this soon (you've heard me reference it in Respawn), but your take on it is valuable as well. 

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Day 8   (January 20, 2016)

Finally made it through one week! So far I have noticed that despite my housemates were gamer's, I managed to spend more time socializing with them unconsciously. Just when I thought we had nothing better to talk about other than games, getting to know them on a deeper level allowed me to discover that they are just like every one of us on some level, with ambitions and goals in life separate from gaming. 

Also, I felt more motivated to go out now, possibly to fill this void that once belonged to video games. Despite the cold winter, I visited downtown a couple of times now to explore the wonderful city that I am in. As a student studying overseas, witnessing a different culture in comparison to my hometown felt exciting - just like discovering new maps and continents in World Of Warcraft, but twice the fun. 

Alternatively, the other activity I am currently going for to fill my void is watching movies. Binging on Netflix does somehow help, but the very act of doing so does bother me - could I just be replacing a bad habit with another?  To me, the whole point of the 90-day detox is to avoid upon mindless activities and start living life. So in hindsight, I would say that watching movies, just like money, is like owning a pit bull, if you are an irresponsible owner, it will bite and hurt you. On the other hand, if you take responsibility for caring the pit bull, training it day by day, it will protect you - a double-edged sword.

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The key to avoid binge watching movies is to be more intentional with your time. If you aren't using a calendar yet, that is exactly where you want to start. Schedule different activities in, 30-60 min blocks and it will be much easier to follow through with them.

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Congratz for one week! Loved the pitbull anology. Your journal is a good read btw.

Thank you, man! I try my best to document the entire process wholeheartedly by the end of the day so that I can clarify these thoughts clearly not only to myself but the community as well. As the book Social by Matt Lieberman talked about the importance of the aspect of interacting with one another.

 

The key to avoid binge watching movies is to be more intentional with your time. If you aren't using a calendar yet, that is exactly where you want to start. Schedule different activities in, 30-60 min blocks and it will be much easier to follow through with them.

Great advice! I just remembered using a reward system in Habitica that allows me to set customized rewards as motivating goals for accomplishing to-do list tasks. i.e. [Watching a movie for 30 minutes] for 50 Gold (I earn them through checking off my reading work, writing journal entries, etc.)

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Day 9   (January 21, 2016)

Completed Module #4 in Respawn, what I find helpful are these printable worksheets that allow me to make notes and diagrams, becoming physical with the information (I am more of a tactile learner). Just like typing journal entries online, writing them old school also helps to clarify my thought processes and help brainstorm new ideas to cope with entering a new world without gaming.

Today's Game Quitters YouTube video is "Should You Quit Games Cold Turkey", the answer for me, as shown by me starting this journal, is obviously yes. But going over the video, I came to realize something more frightening. As Cam mentioned, I am one of those individuals who have lived my entire life with games, I remembered watching old VHS tapes of my childhood (Around 5-6 years old) with my parents, and there I was holding on to my dads Gameboy Colour. It doesn't seem like there was a time where I went through a period without video games at all. Now, it is as if I am in the process of traveling from one dimension to another. It is hard to imagine what the light at the end of the tunnel holds, just the thought of it does make me nervous, yet at the same time, excited.

 

Evernote Camera Roll 20160122 155056.jpg

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Hi Edward, 

I just read through a lot of your journal and I just thought I'd let you know that you're doing great! I started with just a couple of habits that I would do consistently like meditation and a quick morning run, but over time the positive effects from these habits have compounded. My comfort zone has been extended vastly and now I also visualise, do a work-out run, workout in the morning, take a cold shower, am improving my guitar skills, and a few other habits I have built up. If you continue working on the small things you'll improve heaps over time.

You're definitely on the right track and I look forward to seeing where you'll end up in the future! :D

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