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info-gatherer

It's never over. Another afterparty journal

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Day 11

Today I had lunch with my whole family to celebrate the Epiphany and my birthday which is going to be tomorrow (well technically it’s past midnight so it’s my birthday already). I had a nice time. Then I went shopping with my father and I bought a training suit for running. Assembled my luggage, went to say goodbye to my grandparents, I’m ready to go. Tomorrow morning I’m going back to Paris. Nostalgic moment as usual. I regret the way I spent my last week of holidays but now I just want to look forward and have a great new year 😉

What are your resolutions for the new year? Mine is: try and be happier. It’s a hard one but I just need to listen to my inner voice.

Checking out,

info-gatherer

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32 minutes ago, info-gatherer said:

Day 11

Today I had lunch with my whole family to celebrate the Epiphany and my birthday which is going to be tomorrow (well technically it’s past midnight so it’s my birthday already). I had a nice time. Then I went shopping with my father and I bought a training suit for running. Assembled my luggage, went to say goodbye to my grandparents, I’m ready to go. Tomorrow morning I’m going back to Paris. Nostalgic moment as usual. I regret the way I spent my last week of holidays but now I just want to look forward and have a great new year 😉

What are your resolutions for the new year? Mine is: try and be happier. It’s a hard one but I just need to listen to my inner voice.

Checking out,

info-gatherer

Happy birthday ! I like your new years resolution. I'm not a big believer in them my self but this year I want to focus and address my issues and to create more experiences.

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Thanks 😉 On this forum I learned to have a more pragmatic approach to life. I mean.. I know that many things I do now wouldn't work if I didn't believe that they can work. It's self-conviction and self-fooling. It puts you in a more positive mindset, thus helping you to succeed. Like self-fulfilling prophecies.

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Day 12, morning

The journey begins again. I’m typing this as I sit on the train that’ll bring me to the airport, while the familiar landscape of my land goes by. Here it’s so hot it’s almost summer, and the air is crystal clear. In 6 hours I’ll be in my dear, dirty, freezing Paris.

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Edited by info-gatherer
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Day 13

I almost forgot to journal. I spent the whole day in Camille’s apartment. She had to study, so I studied too. At least I tried. Getting back on track is always a bit traumatic. I cooked for her and cleaned a bit her place. Just, you know, being kind, for once. I missed her and I’m happy to be here, again. Right now she’s finishing the revision of a paper that’s due tomorrow. I hope she finishes fast so we can watch the new Black Mirror episode before going to sleep.

checking out,

info-gatherer

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On 1/10/2019 at 12:25 AM, Samon said:

Nothing bad at it, some normal days are pretty good!

Yes they are.

Day 15

Omg again I almost forgot to journal, I remember at the last possible second before going to bed. I spent the morning in bed, talking and joking with C. The whole afternoon at the library. I had a frozen Cous-cous for dinner on the go and I kept studying until midnight. Tomorrow I have my last exam of the semester. I didn’t study, this time (guess last day doesn’t count) so I’m probably going to fail it unless I can supply to my specific ignorance with general knowledge. I’ll see tomorrow. I’ll try anyway, because, as always, it’s all about trying.

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Day 16

The exam didn’t go well, as expected. I spent the day planning the 2nd semester and studying. Now I’m at home. I’m very tired. As it happens, I have a weird situation at home. My flatmate Marie invited friends over and I tried to talk and be nice but they don’t look interested so I just went to my room which is not a real room but a part of the living room hidden by a fake door. I’m so tired I don’t even feel social anxiety. I slept 5 hours yesterday. I just want to fall asleep.

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Day 17

Spent the day between internet, study and basic chores. Went to the library in the afternoon. On the way home I hurt my leg. I'm thinking about starting to go to the gym. I always hated the gym, but in this moment of my life I think I just need some tiresome and painful physical activity to unwind. I need to look into that possibility with more attention. I'm not sure it's doable from a logistic standpoint but I'll see.

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Day 18

Spent the last 3 hours of my life with phone in hand and the thought of journaling didn’t cross my mind. How ironic it does now, when I’ve almost closed my eyes.

Had quite a productive and uneventful day. I studied, washed my clothes, didn’t waste too much time. Evening in bed with phone, as mentioned.

Highlight: had a nice chat with my flatmate

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Day 0

out of 90

very long post

because I’m BACK AT IT, bietschez!

It doesn’t make any sense not to look at the phone first thing in the morning if then I spend the rest of the day with phone in hand. So I’m resetting my counter and this is going to be serious. It’s almost the anniversary of one year without gaming, after all. Time to move on. I feel ready to move on and

CUT MY SCREEN TIME DRASTICALLY.

Right now I’m browsing the net and living life in the breaks. Now I’ll start to do the opposite. In particular, I deleted all apps that have a feed (reddit, facebook, youtube...). I also issue a temporary ban (90 days) on all kind of vaping forums and content, and tracker forums. I will also restrict my general browsing usage and be accountable for it on this diary. I will grant myself unlimited time and access to this forum.

Instead of browsing the net, I will ofc study, but also (here’s the news)

IMPROVE MY PHYSICAL CONDITION.

Today I enrolled to a gym course (mondays) that gives me limited (but enough) access to the gym. Also, I enrolled to a Futsal course (thursdays).

Goals

EXERCISING REGULARLY, at least 3 times a week. If I don’t, I will consider it as a relapse. Minimum amount of workout is either 30 min running, 30 min of gym or futsal match.

VISIBLE MUSCLES IN 3 MONTHS. The reason for this is quite strange and intricated. It involves the end of a blog of critics of literature, Pasolini’s stance on the limits of an ideologizedly anti-appearence approach to life, and the desire to surprise my girlfriend with a new, better physical shape (desire of validation). I really don’t know if 3 months is an ok time or not. I know nothing about nutrition and anatomy. We’ll see!

Talking about nutrition, I really want to learn more and start eating healthier.

I CANNOT CONTINUE TO LIE TO MYSELF EVERY DAY SAYING THAT I DON’T HAVE TIME TO DO ALL THIS IF I BROWSE THE NET 4 HOURS A DAY!

I know that all of this will take time out of my studies, but I’m ok with it. It’s the start of the semester, there’s really no better time. And it needs to be done.

I feel quite confident (which happens to be the same phrase that concluded my first post ever on this website).

I’ll conclude with my day (fast resume):

woke up early, did bureaucracy for university, enrolled in gym courses, bought 150€ of various workout clothes at Decathlon, went running and found a crazy place to do it not too far from home (Paris-Sorbonne Pierre et Marie Curie Campus). Came back home at 8PM. What I’ll do now: have dinner and read a book, prepare my clothes and bag for tomorrow. Tomorrow: course at uni 10-12AM; fitness course 14-16 iirc.

Posting a photo of my weekly schedule, so if someone wants to assassinate me, you know where to find me. Pen is mandatory, pencil is optionals.

 

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Day 1

Great day!

I went to the first course of the second semester which was very good. Despite being very young, the professor looks competent and at ease with the class. Had a good time. I also met a very interesting person and we had lunch together. I’m seeing her again tomorrow at course.

In the afternoon I went to the gym for the first time. I’m still learning the machines and I don’t have a workout program yet, but the teachers will help me. I’d like to go tomorrow too, but without a program it feels pointless. I’ll just wait for next week, the teacher said we’re going to develop a specific training schedule for everyone.

In the late afternoon I studied a couple hours, then I tried to go running but I had to stop after 10 minutes because otherwise I was going to hurt my muscles due to excess of exercise.

No superfluous internet.

On the nutrition side, I bought a lot of vegetables and had the healthiest dinner I can remember. Also, I had it in good company, with C. and some pink wine.

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Day 2

Another good day 🙂

I’m really concerned about the amount of money I am spending on trying to change my diet. I am following a coaching program that tells me what to buy and what recipe should I cook, but every time there’s 10+ ingredients and I seldom have any of them at home. I fear I may need to stop using it. I hope that prices will drop when my fridge will be stacked.

Went to course, had a nice chat, spent time with C., cooked those difficult meals, in particular a Jerk Chicken that took me 2 hours but was so worth it. Also, my body feels better. Placebo or improvement? We’ll see!

Better spending my time like this than browsing the net, anyway.

Tomorrow I have double course and first Futsball match! Also, I prepared a lunchbox for the first time in my life.

Now I will answer some messages, watch an episode of a series and go to bed.

checking out, i-g

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@JPAO thanks 😉

@JustTom good to see you, man!

Day 3 (yesterday)

Woke up at an unusual 7.30AM (usual time is 8.30-9) because on thursdays I have class early. I was going to class but I got lost and arrived late to the first class of the semester. Now, what happens is that for bureaucratic reasons this semester I’ll be following undergraduate courses along with master’s. And they feel very different. The complexity of the master classes is not there, everything is more clear and understandable. But at the same time, I feel that this “simplicity” allows for much more notions to be explained and learned in a short time. Anyway, I volunteereed for the first presentation of the semester, which will take place next thursday. I hope I learned french well enough to be able to talk correctly for the required 20 minutes. So, not being a native speaker I need to work hard and prepare for it.

In the afternoon I had the first futsball match. After all the exercising I did lately, I thought my physical shape was good enough. But it wasn’t. After 30 minutes I was just panting and puffing and couldn’t run anymore. I don’t know how I managed to keep playing for 1 hour and a half. Both my skill and physical shape are neatly under average. Some of the guys looked like professional players, the level was very high. It was a bit humiliating. I don’t want to quit but at the same time it’s maybe the right thing to do, try something less demanding?

After futsal I had a tea with Marta, this new girl I met. Usually I would speculate about the pros and cons of my new acquaintance, but this time I will just not worry and see what happens.

Finally, in the evening I had my other undergraduate class. Other 3 hours straight.

I arrived home at 9.30PM with body and mind completely crushed. I deleted my coaching subscription for the aforementioned reasons: I can’t afford to buy the ingredients (nor to spend 3-4 hours a day cooking). I’ll just try to eat healthier in general or try alternatives.

I went to bed and decided I didn’t want to set an alarm. I woke up at 11AM after a much needed sleep.

Edited by info-gatherer
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@Gaming Zombie It's once a week. Maybe next week I'll go. Maybe I should...? I felt the social pressure to perform (both in the game and "socially"), was too much for me and I'm not sure I want to feel it again.

Day 4

Day 4 of what? What is my goal exactly? What I wanted was cutting my screen time and I'm doing it, doing sports and I'm doing it, eating healthier and I'm doing it. But what if after a bad day I relapse once? And then twice? And then it becomes normal? I probably need a clearer goal, something I can measure.

Today I woke up, had breakfast, did some basic chores, spent all the rest of the day and evening at the library. Didn't procrastinate nor waste any time. Now it's 11PM of a  Friday. I'm back at home. Normal people are having drinks and going out, me I think I'll comment some journals. If I can't help myself, maybe I can at least try to help others.

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