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KMD's Journal


KMD

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Hello there, 

I've been gaming since I was 7 year old for at least 6 hours a day until I was 18 and it escalated to more than 10 hours every day until I was 26 which is my current age. I have over 30.000 hours in gaming. This is 1250 days and if I would game 12 hours a day which is half a day it would mean I wasted 1250*2=2500 days which equals around 6 years. 6 years I have wasted of my life gaming.

Today I started realizing enough is enough because I want to move on with my life. I have dreams to become a businessman, sales manager, volunteer as environmental activist and learn piano.

My routine for the last 5 years was: 

  1. Wake up
  2. Game
  3. Dinner
  4. Game
  5. Sleep
  6. Repeat

Now, thanks to Respawn, I have started to establish a real happy and healthy life.

Routine so far:

7.30am Wake up + Gratitude Journal

7.35am Shower

8.00am Breakfast

8.30am Meditate

8.40am Daily obligation (currently searching a job and volunteering job, I get help from job agency)

3.00pm 1 hour Walk outside 

6.00pm Dinner

11.30pm Sleep

This is my standard routine and in between I am doing amazing new challenges and opportunities. I've signed up for a trial lesson in piano, listening to amazing people's podcasts which inspire me and when I'm tired I just watch a Documentary. Realizing this is making me feel good about myself.

This is just the start. 

Thanks for reading so far!

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Update 1st day:

Im very proud of today’s progress. My wake up routine was perfect although I realize I need to give myself 15 min more for breakfast so I adjust my routine to that.

I went to look for a job in a local job agency and they were friendly and on point. They suggested me to update my CV and so I promised to do so. I worked from 11am to 8pm working om rebuilding my CV, including the routine walk I had planned, lunch and dinner breaks. This is why I am proud of today, it looks so good!

i will go back to job agency tomorrow and looking forward for another day of opportunities and detox! 

Note: I did have side effects from detox (I think), headache, dizzy, sick feeling.

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2nd day,

Im great!! I actually took a walk and its 20 degrees celcius so I decided to take a longer walk to city center and im right now at a bar having a nice coffee and water while listening to podcasts and thinking about the progress i made and how proud i am and thats really who i am. 

Routine is going perfectly too. 

Slowly making decisions towards piano lessons, volleyball sports AND a job!

I will start with the challenges tomorrow (the level 2 you can buy here) because ive finished level 1 and it has been “game changing ;)”

thats it for today!

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Thank you for the nice comments and suggestion I appreciate them.

update day 3: chestnut day

So onto day 3 I overslept 30 minutes since I was too tired from going to bed too late but i caught up on time. Today I went to a big forest where we found fresh chestnuts, which I started gathering. You can roast these chestnuts after washing, drying and letting it sit in room temperature to get the carbs turn into sugar which adds a nice flavor. 

Result: 5.2kg freshest wild chestnuts!

will update on chestnuts on day 5 or 6 on how to include them into dishes and how they taste roasted!

Kenan

p.s. Life looks great, thanks Cam

 

 

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Update 6th day!

Wow. What a progress. It's  been days of all kinds of new different learnings. From listening to business approach podcasts to studying new courses that will help me define who I am. 

I will have lunch after writing and today I will visit the doctor for a treatment on my feet (nothing serious, just a small skin problem). After that I will continue with walking outside for 1 hour (at least 6000 steps). Further tonight after dinner I will go do my new sports, volleyball! Very excited for that. I bought cloths yesterday and I am really looking forward to get this teamplay sports going which is also good for my body exercise wise. 

Also I have started the 30 day challenge by Game Quitters but I will just keep it short:
For day 1 one of the things I had to do as a starter mission was to find out how many days you have left to live (expectedly) in order to put some pressure on the importance on spending time in your life. My life expectancy is 80.5 years. I ended up calculating the remaining days and as of writing this I have got 19837 days left to spend my time wisely on. Good to know! Looking forward for more missions, secretly hoping for challenges!

I promised I would give an update on the chestnuts. My, they are DELICIOUS! Sweet and roasty flavour as I have roasted them in a pan. Chestnuts are not that high in carbs but the carbs are good carbs and it contains more Vitamin C than any other nut. It also contains B11 and folic acid which is excellent for growth of babies while pregnant.

Enjoy your day! Make it last.

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Edited by KMD
Removed Vitamin E as I was confused with Vitamin C
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Update day 10!

Wow, time flies. I already started my new sports on Tuesday (day 6) and that was great. The team is friendly and determined, the coach is driven and I learnt a thing or 2. 

I started having piano lessons on day 7 and drawing lessons on day 8. Piano is going well, I just need to remind myself to position my hands correctly but I can keep up the pase of the lessons. I have only done a few drawing excercizes but I will do another one after writing this journal. Today (day 10) I started a course on Renewable Energy and Green Building Entrepreneurship which will take about 5-6 weeks of studying 3.5 hours per week. It’s a start of what I want to do. I will also meet a friend tonight at a bar and have a few drinks (non alcohol for me).

Across the past few days I have also been keeping up with self improvement books/podcasts and finding more opportunities for me to absorb quality information that suits my needs for the moment being.

Today I have discussed with a very clever, honest and direct business man to meet me in order to discuss future plans as he offered that to me. I really want to take this opportunity to witness his point of view according to my dreams and goals in life. 

Also I have found out that there are oils in the world that really are so healthy to use that they can threat cells in your body to optimal shape. I will probably talk more about this in future, it’s another story for another day.

Good day!

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On 10/13/2018 at 6:22 PM, KMD said:

Update day 10!

Wow, time flies. I already started my new sports on Tuesday (day 6) and that was great. The team is friendly and determined, the coach is driven and I learnt a thing or 2. 

I started having piano lessons on day 7 and drawing lessons on day 8. Piano is going well, I just need to remind myself to position my hands correctly but I can keep up the pase of the lessons. I have only done a few drawing excercizes but I will do another one after writing this journal. Today (day 10) I started a course on Renewable Energy and Green Building Entrepreneurship which will take about 5-6 weeks of studying 3.5 hours per week. It’s a start of what I want to do. I will also meet a friend tonight at a bar and have a few drinks (non alcohol for me).

Across the past few days I have also been keeping up with self improvement books/podcasts and finding more opportunities for me to absorb quality information that suits my needs for the moment being.

Today I have discussed with a very clever, honest and direct business man to meet me in order to discuss future plans as he offered that to me. I really want to take this opportunity to witness his point of view according to my dreams and goals in life. 

Also I have found out that there are oils in the world that really are so healthy to use that they can threat cells in your body to optimal shape. I will probably talk more about this in future, it’s another story for another day.

Good day!

Glad to see you are being really proactive in taking up your interests and hobbies, you seem to b making progress all over the shop and thats fantastic.

Is there a specific element of environmentalism that you are interested in ?  or is it more around the broader conecepts ?

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On 10/14/2018 at 11:47 PM, Peregrinator said:

Glad to see you are being really proactive in taking up your interests and hobbies, you seem to b making progress all over the shop and thats fantastic.

Is there a specific element of environmentalism that you are interested in ?  or is it more around the broader conecepts ?

Thank you very much for your comment it makes me really happy! I do like the broader concept of it in order to change it all in 1 for the whole world, thinking of partnering companies to improve growth. I mean if all companies would work together we would be 50 years ahead!! Thank you! Hope you have a nice day if you ever read this.

On 10/15/2018 at 1:22 PM, MaxHofbauer said:

Hey KMD!

Glad to hear about your progress. You seem to be really into it, keep that up!

Have a good day, Sir!

Max

Hey Max! ?
I am definetly into it. I will post another message on how ive been doing the last couple of days... so promising and the book The Slight Edge... amazing book. 
Take care and thanks for posting and reading and have a nice day if you read this as well!

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Hey ?

It’s been.. 5 days.. WOW. I will even open my handwritten diary to keep up with how much new learning and info i received the last couple of days:

Day 11 was productive yet felt the sense of direction slipping a bit away, I wasn’t feeling how I am feeling now that success is not a direct result. I kept up with all my activities: Volleyball, Piano, Study, Podcast, Drawing, out with friends and relaxed AND did the routine of eating sleeping properly.

Day 12 I started reading the book The Slight Edge from the 30 day challenges presented and purchasable from the main website of gamequitters and it felt like a door was opening to me, towards success and happiness, really. I also did my activities and went to a friends home to relax and we went out to a club and karaoke night.

Day 13 was an inspiring day. I found out I am the one motivating myself and knew i could apply my knowledge that i’ve always learnt in an effective, positive and natural way. Very spiritual day I must say looking back haha ?
I also decided to continue meeting a friend in a foreign country next month because basically ‘ yolo ‘ . Also did my routine day of activities.

Day 14 was a weird day. It started good but went weird when I stepped in the wrong job agency where they only allowed people to work for them if they were low educated which I was not but it opened opportunities as they directed me to a different agency. I found out about a friend I met online that she wasnt using her real name all along just to hide her identity online which I felt weird about but I understand it because the online world is not really that safe if you are too open about and she opened up to me so thats a good thing in the end. Also my volleyball coach asked soo many questions after the match so I was a bit frustrated and felt pressed on so all in all it was a bit of a weird day, it seemed so. It was actually quite normal if i look back.

Day 15 was very productive. I started to do more sports, a gym. I am going to pick up a schedule on working my body to become stronger, healthier and better looking than I am now. I am going to eat a bit more which I need to work on a bit because when I have the feeling that I am not hungry I wont eat enough apparently, so another thing learnt about myself as well. I am considering dropping out of Volleyball if it seems that it interveins with my Gym because I really want to get into that more as I train more muscles more efficiently, I will however miss the teamplay so it’s something to consider in the next few weeks. I will ask many questions to people how they feel it can be fit accordingly, we’ll see. Maybe I can work in gym the muscles I need for volleyball, but the volleyball team is not so active as me so i dont know if its really worth it. It all depends on how I will feel and think next few weeks. Need some time to sink in.

OH YES, I FAILED SO HARD THAT DAY TOO. It was Thursday (yesterday), day 15 that I was doing one challenge to go to a local cafe, order a coffee and ask for 10% off before paying. So I was soooooooo nervous before, completely psyched. I went up to the girl and she looked so hopeful and happy and willing to help. And there I was, trying to ask 10% off discount for their well earned money, so I couldn’t, I chickened out. I froze for 3 seconds and then asked for paying the bill. I felt miserable, failed, done, completely done and it ruined my mood so bad that I took the decision to go again the next day which is today and I will tell you how that was in a bit.

Day 16 is on going (it’s today, friday). So, I went to the same cafe, because it had to be that one because thats where i failed. I ordered coffee and water and did some studying on my tablet which I by the way finished for this week (another achievement, im happy, yay) and then I realized after being sunk into my work that Oh God moment, I have to pay and ask for discount again... Moment of stressful situation started. I went to pack my bag and went to the restroom and just looked in the mirror and said what i had to say to the waitress in 1 minute. I was stressed as if my life was dependent on this situation, it was make it or break it for me. It was now or never, it was courage and success or fail. I went out of the restroom straight to the bar and ask to pay. Fortunately there werent too many people around so I felt somewhat 1% more at ease. I asked to pay for the bill she said it was X amount ( i dont even remember the amount because of nervousity) and I asked: Could I get 10% off the coffe that I orderded. THIS MOMENT I PANICED INSIDE. She said: WHAT?? With a frowned face looking surprised and confused. So I responded as CALM as I POSSIBLY could: Ohh I was just wondering if I could get 10% off that’s all. She smiled and said oh i thought there was something wrong with the coffee. (Everything was fine, no angry people, nobody was going to throw me out, i had all these thoughts) And i just paid and wished her a nice day. I did tell her tho it was for an experiment somewhere near the end but it was after I paid. I felt relieved, succesful, confident and knew I had the courage for whatever had to be done next. I went out of the cafe with a big smile and went to the bus station to my way home to write this journal online that I’m writing now. Story isn’t over yet! While I was waiting at the bus stop, a girl came.. she looked me straight in the eyes and there was I confident as ever with a confident smile on my face (and my new haircut) staring back at her, she smiled. I smiled back. Then it happened, I froze again, I wanted to ask her age but I just couldnt, I failed again. So you know, today was courage and success and discourage and failure, still there was progress so next time I am going to take life head on and if I meet her again I will not hesitate, not anymore. Seems like I need 2 times in order to succeed, next time will be chance converted to action. 

Long story but thank you guys for reading and as always have a nice day! Share your story too in the comments I’d love to hear them and read them, good luck!

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7 hours ago, KMD said:

Thank you very much for your comment it makes me really happy! I do like the broader concept of it in order to change it all in 1 for the whole world, thinking of partnering companies to improve growth. I mean if all companies would work together we would be 50 years ahead!! Thank you! Hope you have a nice day if you ever read this. 

Of course I read it ?, I am finding your journal really interesting. It sounds like you want to look at sustainability and Environment Management probably in a consultancy? I have worked in Environment Management so that is interesting for me to see how you progress

7 hours ago, KMD said:

I am considering dropping out of Volleyball if it seems that it interveins with my Gym because I really want to get into that more as I train more muscles more efficiently, I will however miss the teamplay so it’s something to consider in the next few weeks.

I would wait and see, I think it is really good and really important to have a social fitness/sport activity as it can help you build relationships.

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Day 18:

I’ve been working on those challenges, one of the 30 and I must say this one was relatively easy. Took a photo from a couple whilst they were eating, I think I was friendly enough.

The challenge was to capture a picture with a sign with a complete stranger, and so I did.

 

Good day to you all!

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So.. day 21 now. 
I’ve been ill since day 19 so haven’t done much but watch netflix, sit outside for fresh air and try to eat and drink as healthy as possible. However I am starting to feel better and tomorrow I will pick up my daily schedule and routine again and catch up on my online courses.

I’ve also been busy with my next mission in the 30 challenges, well... My mission was to find an attractive girl and say what attracts me to her. First of all, there are almost no attractive girls in my small village and I felt so bad that the first day I couldn’t find anyone at all. After 3 days of looking I finally found a ‘target’ and here is how it went:
It was in a local cafe where an old friend from high school and I were catching up about things in life. I in fact saw 1 girl passing by that I found attractive but due to the conversation we were having I thought I would just walk to her later as she sat behind us. After a while we decided to leave and there were just 2 girls entering the cafe and one of them had this pretty smile. So I walked up to her and before I had the chance to speak to her she asked if we were leaving so she could take the table. I replied sure it is all yours and started my mission. I said but wait a bit please, I just want to tell you that you have a pretty smile and it suits you. I then went too much and said she had nice hair too... I dont know why i said that, it was just too much. Then she just replied with “Ok” and left passed me before I had the chance to even wish her a good evening. That is how the mission went and I feel HORRIBLE. Did she even like my comment? She did smile about it though.. I have so many questions, why this mission? Why do I feel so bad? Did I get turned down? What happened? What’s going on!  Anyway, I left with my friend and I explained him I’m diong these missions which I have mixed feelings about. I still do not know if I did the right thing during the mission. Does anyone know? Please tell me.

Looking forward to read more experiences from you guys, good luck.

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The problem is that you gave her to much compliments and that makes her uncomfortable. Don't feel horrible,conversation was little bit akward but there's nothing to worry about and those missions are made to push you out of your comfort zone. Keep going !

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2 hours ago, KMD said:

 That is how the mission went and I feel HORRIBLE. Did she even like my comment? She did smile about it though.. I have so many questions, why this mission? Why do I feel so bad? Did I get turned down? What happened? What’s going on!  Anyway, I left with my friend and I explained him I’m diong these missions which I have mixed feelings about. I still do not know if I did the right thing during the mission. Does anyone know? Please tell me.

Ha

Having listened to some self-confidence podcasts I think the key point and aim of this exercise is simply taking the risk to approach a stranger and compliment her, in terms of building confidence most of the podcasts say that it is the repeated action of risk taking in itself that is the key to developing social confidence, which many of us lack if we have played games for years, In which case  dude this  is a massive step forward in itself.

There are loads of reasons why she may have responded to you in the way that she did , including the following.

  • She thought you were hitting on her and she has a boyfriend.

  • She was nervous herself and didn't know how to respond.

  • She thought you were being sarcastic or that you were making a joke.

  • She may not have been into you, and you know what, that’s absolutely fine. There are plenty of girls out there, realistically not all of them will fancy us, but you have just taken the first major step to move forward and start on that journey of finding someone.

In my eyes though I think you have achieved exactly what you needed to do, and I’m really proud of you that you have gone and done it, you should definitely give yourself a pat on the back.

 

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14 hours ago, IvanSaw said:

The problem is that you gave her to much compliments and that makes her uncomfortable. Don't feel horrible,conversation was little bit akward but there's nothing to worry about and those missions are made to push you out of your comfort zone. Keep going !

 

11 hours ago, Peregrinator said:

Ha

Having listened to some self-confidence podcasts I think the key point and aim of this exercise is simply taking the risk to approach a stranger and compliment her, in terms of building confidence most of the podcasts say that it is the repeated action of risk taking in itself that is the key to developing social confidence, which many of us lack if we have played games for years, In which case  dude this  is a massive step forward in itself.

 

There are loads of reasons why she may have responded to you in the way that she did , including the following.

 

  • She thought you were hitting on her and she has a boyfriend.

     

  • She was nervous herself and didn't know how to respond.

     

  • She thought you were being sarcastic or that you were making a joke.

     

  • She may not have been into you, and you know what, that’s absolutely fine. There are plenty of girls out there, realistically not all of them will fancy us, but you have just taken the first major step to move forward and start on that journey of finding someone.

     

In my eyes though I think you have achieved exactly what you needed to do, and I’m really proud of you that you have gone and done it, you should definitely give yourself a pat on the back.

 

Guys, thank you, I feel much better now. I gave myself a pat on the back and I’m already continueing on the next mission (music video). This will be something, stay tuned!

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