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Xiryts

Xiryts Journal

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 Hiii new here, thank you all very much for all the guides, effort and support,  you guys are really awesome! 

I'm still reading about the topic, don't really have much time so my writing is a little bad ( sorry ) But I'm just doing it to see the progress. 

DAY 1

So far deleted all games, unsubscribed from streamers ( too bad I haven't played project Vayne very much xddd ). But I'm still not really sure about this decision  as most of the people who quit gaming because they have addiction and/or it caused them a lot of problems ( with their partner , at school/work..etc ) and I don't really struggle with these I could keep a good balance between gaming and study, but there was a time when I decided to learn programming ( because me and one of my friends wanted to make hentai games xDDD we were kids lol ) and I enjoyed it and enjoyed learning more about computers this and some other similar examples made life felt it had some meaning outside of gaming. So I started to doubt if I want to keep gaming or do something else, But as all of you know Gaming makes other activities feel boring So I'v learned about dopamine shts, found the subreddit, and I read tons of positive comments who did the 90 detox so I thought I may give it a shot, maybe I will still prefer gaming life after it, maybe I will quit gaming forever, I still don't know and can't tell for sure BUT if I don't do this maybe I will keep wondering in the future "What if I did it" .

tldr;  Gaming feels like a waste of time and life seems fun outside of gaming, also I read a lot of positive comments so I think I will give it a try.

 

Edited by Xiryts
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DAY 2 -5

First days sucked lmao I was bored to hell, and didn't know what to do so I procrastinated a lot : P

but I love logical shts so I thought about  trying programming again and I downloaded a c++ pdf

it didn't really seem inviting at first but after coding for sometime I started to like it xd

I learned about data types, functions and today will learn about arrays :d

and I did workout two times. 

I feel I've taken second step :d

 

 

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DAY 7

Worked out and learned about conditions/loops. 

Programming keeps getting fun but seems like a lot to learn before making something big lol.

DAY 8

Kinda was a bad day, realized how lonely it became since all my friends are gamers : /

but I made my mind to quit.

On the bright side I set up my first goal to become intermediate at c++ in two months :d

Edited by Xiryts
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Love the goals to improve your programming skills. Being good with any language is an extremely versatile and marketable asset in this day and age. Hats off to you.

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DAY 9-13

I haven't done anything during these days and I was close to relapsing xdd

Quitting games isn't just about deleting them but now I made some notes and a schedule I'm gonna try better this time 

When I started this journal I wasn't sure I wanna quit I could keep it in moderation I had no problems but now I'm sure; I think life outside gaming can be lots of fun                                                                               

 

Edited by Xiryts

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DAY 18-31

Thanks for checking me ❤️

It was going pretty well but I came into some old problem, when I finished highschool I remembered I enjoyed maths/physics and I was good in them so I thought I'd like to be a physicist, but gaming made me escape from standing up for my decision and was forced to enroll in medicine school ( I haven't started it yet ) so somewhen after quitting I thought I needn't go to college to do what I want, I could just make them my hobby, the problem is I don't think I could get far on my own nor that I would get enough time after starting medicine study so I'm still thinking over this : / 

Anyway thanks for reading < 3 have a nice day !

Edited by Xiryts

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Daaaaaaaamn I relapsed, gonna restart all over again xDD

but I know what went wrong though : I focused on one thing ( programming ), I said it was fun but now I believe we need variety, and I didn't take actions like I didn't stand for my self and go to the college I liked

Sooo this time I'm gonna pick hobbies to fill all the needs Cam has mentioned 

and at the end of year I'm gonna change my college 

Thank you all and wish me good luck ❤️

Edited by Xiryts

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Good to see you come back with more self awareness. It's still a big achievement that you got through 90 days and more. You can go even further than that, I'm sure.

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DAY 0-10

Yeah as usual first days of relapse suck but it got a little better

Well kinda lots happened but I'm busy with college and don't have much time to write :( 

but basically I picked up four things : mediating, losing weight, improving social skills and I'm thinking about getting into music ( probably violin ) 

I thought mediating was useless at first, but after a couple of tries, I noticed annoying thoughts tend to go away faster, usually they stick in my brain for a while.

Through the previous and this detox I lost around 22 pounds ( ayyy,) but doing cardio isn't just about losing weight, it's also fun challenging your score and improving your endurance 

as for social skills I came across an interesting post on reddit : How to be yourself might you like it too 

I'm not really sure how to start playing violin, I'm just learning music theory atm and in summer when I have lots of free time I may get serious 

So overall my time is occupied, I don't crave gaming that much but there are three things that draw me to it 

  1. Escapism ( from college choice, I never liked medicine, physics is much more fun xdd )
  2. Social environment ( I have lots of gamers friends :(   )
  3. Self identity ( because I had high skills, you know sometimes you define yourself in what you are most skilled at idk how to explain it properly ) 

These are my three challenges to overcome till I think I can leave gaming forever : Changing my college to what I like, making non-gamer friends and getting very skilled in something which isn't gaming-related ( I think violin ).

tldr : picked up new things to do,but have some challenges to overcome 

Thanks for reading, have a nice day! 

 

 

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