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Deku

Journey to my white coat

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Heyyy Deku! It's now 4:50am and I just binge-read your journal ahahaha so worth it though! Mann you've gone through a lot hahaa I've just started my journal and yours is really inspiring! Your determination and willpower is insane! And it seems like God has taught you a lot and you've taught me a lot through your journal! Yeah unlucky about the relapse but it's great that you're off it, you've learnt from it and I hope this time it will be permanent! Even with such a crazy schedule you've still committed to extracurricular activities which is super inspiring! Thanks for sharing your highs and lows and just being vulnerable because I know it's not easy! If you don't mind me asking where do you think you are at right now in terms of your faith? Are you still a self-directed person or Jesus-directed? Praying hard for you bro keep close to God and keep being vulnerable <3

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@Splitstep Thanks for the positive comment and pleasant surprise—I’m going through a pretty rough period of time right now and really appreciate it. I’m frankly surprised you read through all of my haphazard ramblings, but glad you enjoyed it. 

As to your question I don’t really know how to characterize my faith right now; I used to be hardcore nonbeliever because I took the bible literally and couldn’t buy into the worldly interpretations of its content, but now that I’m going to class and learning the meaning of the parables and hidden language I’m finding that my faith is slowly coming alive. I don’t know if you know the parable of the four fields, but I’m currently just trying to be the good field—providing the open and understanding heart for the seed to grow, and persevering through the many worldly concerns in my life. ‘

How about you? I’m always interested to learn about the faith of other people. :)

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Went on a tour of Amgen today, and had the nasty realization that I don’t think the life of a scientist is for me. It just doesn’t excite me the way medicine does, and I just know I’d live a rough and miserable life if I committed to a science career at a biotech company. I guess it’s white coat or bust for me then.

Quiz tomorrow for Hematology. I spent a freakish amount of time taking detailed notes on the esoteric and horribly written textbook, with the help of some new gadgets I acquired over break (screenshots below). I hope it’s enough to get me a good mark on that quiz 😕

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Wow that is really encouraging Deku! You're open to hearing about Christianity and understanding the parable of the sower. I find reading scripture is a big weakness of mine but I can see God working in the world around us.

I grew up in a Non-Christian household, and so I went to a secular school, and didn’t hear much about Christianity and never heard the gospel. Until last year in my first year of university.
On Orientation Day this year God lead me to a Christian group called Student Life. They were giving out jandals and staff member Josh handed me a jandal and a card. On the card there was a section about learning more about Jesus. Usually I would say not interested but God wanted me to be curious and open, so I ticked ‘maybe’. Later, a student leader in Student Life named Emad called me and set up a meetup about it. Josh also came along to it. I thought that they were trustworthy and honest people that really did believe in their faith and did thorough investigation on the reasons why they believe in Christianity. The gospel was what I needed to hear, because it says that we live in a broken world which I suspected, and to hear that nothing we do can get us closer to God was also a relief. And also hearing that there was a solution to our brokenness was the best news ever! And that was Jesus! They answered my questions convincingly, such as evolution or creation and the Big Bang Theory, which gave me the courage to put my faith in Jesus and pray to receive Christ! So in that one meetup I because a Christian!

I haven't been a Christian for even a year but it's been the most challenging but best year of my life no doubt! Seeing God do miracles and create good out of bad situations and using them to humble or to grow me and to remind me how much I need Him. Realising that my identity is not in money, my achievements or how people view me but in being God's child and he loves me for who I am has got me through a lot of tough times. This year I am doing what Emad is doing and being a Student Leader, giving out jandals and seeing where people are at and giving them what God has given me! To be honest I don't feel I am capable but God doesn't choose the qualified but qualifies the chosen! This year will be super hard with a timetable similar to yours in engineering but seeing you still committing to bible study and wanting to know God personally is really really encouraging!!! Thanks Deku keep it up!

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@Splitstep Thanks for your reply! First off, it's always fascinating to hear about how many nonbelievers go to a bible study session out of pure curiosity and end up hooked for life. It really is a testament to how fascinating and pure the word of God is.

And second, thank you for being a student leader and doing the work that you do. You're giving so many people the opportunity to receive the gift of the word, and that in itself is awesome.

A couple comments about what you wrote:

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God doesn't choose the qualified but qualifies the chosen

Of course--if you look at the parable of the bags of gold (Matthew 25:14-23)

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14 Again, it will be like a man going on a journey, who called his servants and entrusted his wealth to them. 15 To one he gave five bags of gold, to another two bags, and to another one bag,[a] each according to his ability. Then he went on his journey. 16 The man who had received five bags of gold went at once and put his money to work and gained five bags more. 17 So also, the one with two bags of gold gained two more. 18 But the man who had received one bag went off, dug a hole in the ground and hid his master’s money.

19 “After a long time the master of those servants returned and settled accounts with them. 20 The man who had received five bags of gold brought the other five. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with five bags of gold. See, I have gained five more.’

21 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

22 “The man with two bags of gold also came. ‘Master,’ he said, ‘you entrusted me with two bags of gold; see, I have gained two more.’

23 “His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’

God qualifies each of us according to our ability, and regardless of how much ability we have we can share in the master's happiness so long as we pay it forward.

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This year will be super hard with a timetable similar to yours in engineering but seeing you still committing to bible study and wanting to know God personally is really really encouraging!!!

Remember the thorns in the parable of the sower? 

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22 The seed falling among the thorns refers to someone who hears the word, but the worries of this life and the deceitfulness of wealth choke the word, making it unfruitful.

 

Of course I make learning the word a priority in my life, despite my commitments. You aren't a child of God if you let worldly duties and responsibilities overtake your desire to study the scriptures 🙂 

Edited by Deku
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It's been quite an uneventful few days, which is strange because every day is so busy I feel like I don't have any room to breathe. When I get home I'm usually too pooped to do anything so I've been sleeping early A LOT recently--on my phone it says my average bedtime is something like 9:10 pm.

Had an exam last week for Neurogenetics, it was okay. I thought I did okay until I compared answers with everyone else. Turns out I'm either going to be setting the curve or absolutely failing the class (It's okay though, since the lowest test is dropped).

Hematology exam next Thursday as well, so I'll have to work hard today for that. Still have two short chapters of reading to do.

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1 hour ago, Deku said:

It's been quite an uneventful few days, which is strange because every day is so busy I feel like I don't have any room to breathe. When I get home I'm usually too pooped to do anything so I've been sleeping early A LOT recently--on my phone it says my average bedtime is something like 9:10 pm.

Had an exam last week for Neurogenetics, it was okay. I thought I did okay until I compared answers with everyone else. Turns out I'm either going to be setting the curve or absolutely failing the class (It's okay though, since the lowest test is dropped).

Hematology exam next Thursday as well, so I'll have to work hard today for that. Still have two short chapters of reading to do.

Much respect for being able to commit so hard! 😮 

Watch your energy levels, buddy! Wouldn't want you burning out. But other than that, crazy amounts of balls you got there, you working bee!

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Finished all my Hematology readings. All that's left now is a frenzied review of all the content before Thursday.

Went to a resume building/cover letter/interview workshop today, and found it mind numbingly boring. Whoever thought a workshop comprised of 2 hours of lecturing and no actual workshopping would be a good idea ought not to be planning these things.

I also made a quizlet set of all the various biblical terms and scriptures for our exam in March, and shared it with as many people in the class as possible. I've gotten to the point where I actively dread attending that class, but I must not let the current rough patch kill off my desire to learn the scriptures.

I haven't had an amazing day in quite some time. Lots of stuff keeps happening and my schedule is so busy I don't really have time to just breathe and take it all in. I'm not worried, though. I know that if I just keep my head down and keep working hard, one day I'll realize I've made it through whatever this is. I just have to have faith.

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Got an exam in Hematology tomorrow and I’m actually pretty worried about it. I’ve gone to all the classes, done all the readings and reviewed my notes, so I’m not in a bad spot per se, but this class is known as one of the hardest the school has to offer. I don’t know what to expect, but I suppose I’ve done all I can at this point to prepare. I’ve done my due diligence to learning the material. I don’t need to cram so I can get a solid 7.5 hours of sleep tonight. The rest is all in destiny’s hands now.

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