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Back on quitting.

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And now, back here again. I quit gaming again, because I think it's just wasting time. I should think about my future and accomplish things and live life that I could be proud of and be happy. 

I relapsed because I lost hope on life without games. I was depressed cause I repeatedly thought how everyone was ahead of me personally and do not have problems like this. Why me. Well It is what it is. 

Another reason to my relapse was my upper stomach symptoms. I was very stressed about it and couldn't relax so I tried other things first: reading, podcasts, playing piano, but the only thing that got me relaxed was talking to my mom and I can't talk to her all the time. So I used gaming to relax too. 

Right now the symptoms have gotten worse so that's why I have no motivation to quit or make my life better. 

My mom also dislikes my self controlling sometimes. I have to control my eating now and she thinks it's too much. I am 47 kg and I shouldn't care about my weight. It's not about my weight I'm just trying to find more fun and stimulating than eating. Mom just can't understand my situation. 

 

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The best motivation you can get is that which comes from within. You can latch on to anything external to find the motivation to keep going, but once that thing is gone, so is the motivation. If you find something from within to keep you going, that will never leave nor betray you. It will always be there, like a good friend that always has your back, even in the toughest of times.

Stay strong!

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