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SuperSaiyanGod

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I'll be honest, I've wasted 6 out of 7 days since my last post on gaming, junk food and porn. My room is a mess and I don't feel like cleaning it. I also haven't been showering.

I've been thinking a lot about how to start doing things right, because I'm not comfortable with the kind of lifestyle I'm having right now. In the evening (or in the morning when I'm going to sleep), I want to stop. But when I wake up, I just go back to whatever I was doing the day before. I think I'm going to write a list of what will happen in a day, a week, a month, and by the end of the summer if I continue wasting time, and then what will happen if I start living.

For now I've been lured by my psychology textbook.

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What is one thing you can start your day off that will begin a strong foundation? That is a good place to start. My recommendation: start by showering first thing every morning. Fresh start. Literally. :)

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Today is a nice day. Yesterday I was porn-clean. In the evening I wrote a post on r/penpals because I wanted to make some friends and went to sleep. I woke up pretty late, but I didn't feel that bad about it. I felt like jerking off, but instead I got up to see my messages and there were two. It made me feel good, and the whether was nice so I went for a jog (it got hot as hell halfway through, but it still felt great). Then I took a cold shower and ate a great breakfast. But now I don't feel like replying to these people. Why on earth did I post a penpal request if I don't feel like talking to them?

I relapsed to porn, though it wasn't that terrible as well. I was sitting in front of the computer trying to escape from the replying. I launched World of Warcraft which I've been playing as a starter version for the last couple of days. But I didn't feel like playing it, I'm gonna explain that in a minute. Then I had a thought: I've already done everything I needed to do today, the only thing that's left is reading some psychology. And so I did, and it felt good and stimulating.

Now, I feel like playing the game, but there are some things keeping me from it, and the will to abstain for the sake of it isn't actially one of them.

  1. First, this doesn't really feel that appealing most of the time. I find it hard to disconnect from reality while playing, and it's uncomfortable, being constantly aware that I am wasting time.
  2. This one is actually more important. I'm playing the starter edition, which allows me to play until level 20, and then my character gets locked until I buy the game. Now, buying the game doesn't feel at all expensive, and it would give me 30 days of play time. So if I bought it, I'm afraid I would continue wasting my time for the next 30 days, because "I've payed for it after all". Then, after these 30 days, it would be "I've already leveled so much, I want to buy more play time". But buying 60 more days actually feels expensive. And if I buy those 60 days, that will be it for the best summer of my life.

On the other hand, I keep thinking: I've already done so much good stuff today, I could easily reward myself for it.

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I'll just write this because I can't decide on what to write. I've finished two games I've been playing since the start of the summer and now I'll try to stop again. No pressure, if I don't succeed then at least I'll have a good time. I've deleted all games from my pc and my user profiles from my brother's consoles. It also helps that the gaming graphics card on my laptop is fried.

I'm stranded at my parents' house for the whole summer, it's already been five or six weeks, no car, 30km to the closest city. I only have a few english books and one big-ass psychology textbook. I don't exercise regularily, but there is progress with jogging. I've just decided to take it easy. I don't need a great discipline if it means beating myself up about not having it. I've had a serious conversation about it with my cat yesterday - I mean this morning, when I was going to sleep - and it made me feel better.

I've also decided to have the same approach to abstaining from porn and strangely this morning I decided to get up instead of triggering myself when the first thoughts appeared.

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Okay, so it's midnight and I've only been up for nine hours or so. The time is running so slow when I'm not gaming. I need some stimulating, maybe even productive thing to do.

I'd like to write another short story. But I don't know, I have no idea what it would be about. Last time I wrote one, the idea for it sort of appeared before me and I couldn't stop writing until it was finished. But now?

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Start with an outline of the story. Every story has a beginning, middle and an end, so start there. Just brainstorm, just filling in the details and possibilities.

You may be interested in this study on withdrawal symptoms from gaming abstinence. 

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I'm gonna take up juggling, because:

  1. It's a physical activity but doesn't tire you out
  2. It's mentally engaging
  3. It's challenging, with easily controllable level of difficulty
  4. It can be done at any time of day or night
  5. It's free (assuming apples are free, which they practically are)
  6. It provides constant meassurable growth

I'm gonna buy some apples tomorrow and start. Later I'm gonna make balls of grain and baloons.

Also, I'll attempt to run 3 miles tomorrow. So far I've only ran somewhere around 2. I never thought it would be possible for me to run 1 kilometer (which I could never do while in school), but now 2 is easy. I just have to push myself as far as possible, as I think I usually stop not because I can't go on, but because I'm telling myself I can't go on. My friend is always running until he has to sit down.

Second also, I'm gonna become un-stranded tomorrow, for about two weeks, which is awesome. I'll try to hung out with some friends while I'm at the city.

Now I'm gonna go watch Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman.

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In running you have to push your boundries, otherwise you will be stuck in same distance/time. Just don't give up, it's most important.

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I just went to StopGaming and there was a badge saying 55 days. That's how long I could be clean if I didn't game since the last time I set it up. Now I'm gaming again, but I don't feel that bad about it.

That last time I ran only one mile, 8 minutes, but I've been going pretty fast. Maybe I'll try tomorrow, and slower this time. I was able to run for 2 miles only once before.

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I just can't find my footing. I don't even feel like making breakfast in the morning, or even going to the grocery store to buy more junk food - which I almost always eat in one sitting, no matter how much if it is there.

Maybe something will change when I go back to my parents' house, where I feel more at home. Maybe a very good friend is going to visit me for a week or so.

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I don't know where else I can put this without getting a bunch of replies form people I don't want to talk to. So I'll just talk to myself here.

Why do I have so little energy for working out? I've started doing the exercises in March 2015, and the only progress I've ever made is with squats. I've not progressed at all with push-ups, leg raises or bridges. I know I haven't been disciplined and I've trained maybe 30% of the times I was supposed to. But the pther problem is that whenever I start to workout, I immediately want to quit. Every time, after a few reps I just feel like sitting down and quitting. It's easier with push-ups and squats, but I have so little energy for the core exercises. What should I do, how do I get more energy for this? Am I gonna get more energy if I lose weight? I'm currently class I obese according to the WHO definition. Am I gonna get more energy if I stop gaming? Or masturbating compulsively? Do I need to eat something special before workout, or eat something special all the time? Do I need to sleep in different hours and less than 10 hours? This is all so frustrating, so hard to figure out on your own.

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ok first of all take this awesome site with a lot of information and a good routine which helped me to improve a lot in squats/push-ups/pull-ups/Dips and General Balance, body Tension and flexibility.The good thing is that there is a lot of core training involved  in the exercises for the bigger muscles so you don't have to do legraises or situps with this routine.

I think to really progress in strength training you need to be as consistent as possible(atleast 2times a week)  and generally take in enough Protein(1-4g of Protein per kg-bodyweight everyday). I eat every morning the same breakfast with 500g curd cheese.

Now to the energy Level.  I think most important for a good energy lvl is to reduce  carbs and cut especially sugar, because sugar gives you a short time high and leaves you at lower energy Level then before. Not masturbating(or atleast only 2-3 times a week) has helped me alot with my energy Level.

To the weight and sleep part I can't give you first Hand experiences because I was always a little underweight(build some muscles now though) and never slept so much(6-8hours is my usual sleeping time).

I read a great article about Nutrition for strength Training somewhere with a very small bullshit factor if I find it again I share it with you. But basically it said eat enough protein and the rest (i.e. time of eating) doesn't matter so much for muscle gain.

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