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Cindpline

I don't know what my problem is.

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This is a very important post for me, I hope you read it carefully and then post your opinions then. Thank you. 

 

I have theories of my problem. There are like two sides: One side tells I was gaming addicted, the other that I just had bad self esteem because my good friend bullied me when we changed schools and went to fifth grade. (or I just felt he bullied me) 

Why my problem would have been gaming:

  • I felt shame and quilt after I was gaming and before I went to gaming I felt that the games were the best thing ever.
  • When I played I always played more than I thought or I told myself.
  • After 150 days without games I laugh a lot more. And I enjoy other things bit more, and my social skills have improved not so much, but little bit.
  • When I eat sweets or chips, play solitaire, It is hard for me to stop. (that means my brain was used the dopamine in gaming and now when I get dopamine similar to gaming the brain wants dopamine more and more.
  • I can relate to many things in this forum and Cam´s videos.
  • I couldn't play games in moderation.
  • Maybe the bullying didn't participate in this maybe I just realised that gaming was bad for me. 
  • There were many relapses and always after I played I felt shameful and said: "Never game again!" But then usually after two weeks I said "I can play moderation." Why would I be addicted?" and then I relapsed. And then repeat. 

Why my problem would not be gaming: 

  • I have played video games since I was 4-5 years old (except I don't play now.) and I've had no problems with them but then when I I went to fifth grade I was bullied by my good friend indirectly. It felt that he did it on purpose but I'm not sure. He made jokes that mocked me, but he did on others too. I always hoped that he would'nt have came to school. And when he came, I was anxious and scared when he would mock me some way. When there were just 2 of us he was nice. But when there were others I think then he started to not notice me. 
  • I have other hobbies also: Playing an instrument, the lesson was once a week (I practiced at least two times a week.) It included music theory which I had once a week. I have also played football (1th - 3th grade) 
  • Here are things that happen in puberty: Trying to find who I am, feels like nobody understands, and feels like I can't understand myself either, Everyone wants to be normal, but still it feels like you are different, unsure if you are good enough by yourself, mind's changes feel confusing. 

So I just think that maybe I should just accept who I am, Not trying to become a better person. The bullying wasn't that bad but I think It made me hard to accept myself.

The bullying theory makes sense. Maybe I just had so low self-esteem and that I escaped to games or I just thought they were bad. 

I know that the bullying and gaming problem consern in some way. But I just can't fit them together. 

 

What do you think? 

Edited by Cindpline

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I don't think that it's either one of those alone - you see, for most People, gaming is an Escape from the real Problem. But when just escaping from a Problem the Escape most often becomes a Problem itself - because it's likely that you start to use the Escape for EVERY Problem you encounter.

--> you started laughing a lot more after NOT playing - so it seems that playing was definitely part of the Problem
--> I've been in a similar Situation with a friend who started bullying me when others were around. It made me lose trust in People and lead to escaping to games (Maybe that's the Moment when gaming became a Problem) Believe me when I say getting rid of those "Friends" is the best thing you can do - there are plenty of People out there who aren't like that. 

 

ALSO: "Accepting who you are" & "Not trying to become a better Person" are two completely different Things that don't include each other. Think About it that way: Not trying to become a better Person (OR better formulated: Not Working on yourself to become the best Version of yourself you can be) means Stagnation, not moving Forward and being stuck.
On the other hand, accepting who you are is more of a loving yourself for who you are, with all your strengths, weaknesses and flaws you have at the moment, but also valueing youself enough to work on those parts of yourself YOU don't like.

I hope it's clear what I want to say ?:/

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What if game quitters brainwashed me? Game quitters has become a religion for me. I want to just live happy and balanced life. Not trying to set up goals or be super productive, I'm 14. I should enjoy life more!

It was at the same time when I saw my gaming as bad and bullying started. And also like Philipp said usually gaming is the escape from the real problem. For me, It wad bullying, so I don't need to set up goals, get better social skills. I need my mind free. I want to know what is my problem. I think it's bad self-esteem.

Bullying made me think that there is something wrong with me. And I need to change it. So I came to game quitters. 

 

 

 

Game quitters presses me. I need to see a therapist. 

I'm not coming to this website anymore. Except I will read the replies to this post. 

Edited by Cindpline

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First of thanks for posting and I do commend you for doing 150 days of non gaming but I would like to know if you are continuing on that or did you relapse and continue to game? 

That help us assest the situation but I think I have few clues that can be summed up. 

You feel like your alone in the world and no one understands you but wants friends to understand you even though you have other hobbies you think your addicted to something and trying to dive deep down to find the answer. 

I think your trying to replace gaming with something even through your brain is craving that domaine and it not easy. I’m happy you have other hobbies that help even that might not be enough. 

So I think you want an answer you want hear not something you don’t want here and will go to other people till you find the answe and I get like this sometimes but I think a little of both part of bullying, alone, and self esteem. 

The question I would pose what are you running from, are you trying avoid the problems by escaping in other things? The second thing i do understand you want to live life right now, but you need to start thinking where do you want be in 5 years or college you want to attend to because life moves a lot quicker than you think. 

The last thing you said is the hardest lesson to do which is to love yourself where your at, forgive yourself and others and move on the next thing. Easier said than done. 

There a quote “You can’t change the past but you can change the future” and you can either learn from it or stay with it. 

It your choice and it will always your choice what you do with what others have said. We’re not trying brainwash you or anything only share our experiences and what brought us here. I would encourage you to read the journels to. 

That my option based on what you have written.

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No, I have not relapsed. This is just too much for me. I want to get out of this labyrinth. Also, 

On 7/10/2018 at 12:31 AM, zeke365 said:

So I think you want an answer you want hear not something you don’t want here and will go to other people till you find the answe and I get like this sometimes

What? I didn't understand. ?

Ok I think I know the real problem. I quit gaming, because I didn't have all the skills that others did have. That I am different from others. And that's when puberty comes out. Puberty happens different time with people. For me it happened later compared to my surrounding people. 

 

 

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