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Mohammad's Journal


Mohammad

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Hey Mohammad,

Nice lifestyle. That’s interesting with the visualizing and comparison to Bill Gates. I don’t really have a set paragon, although that’d be cool. And I do sometimes visualize myself in good shape to keep motivated to workout. I’ve been training about four months and am just starting to figure out what works best for me.

Erik

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...

Day 137 to 195:

 

No gaming!

Have been doing great!

Got a internship program: working and studying at the same time.

I read two books on stocks and now that the stocks are crashing, I am gradually buying into it!

Planning to graduate by September 2020

Despite all the pessimism around the world, I am very optimistic about the future. We'll get over this within a year for sure. Wishing the best for everyone.

 

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It is so painful to admit that I failed after 200 days of not gaming! It is been a month that I started to play games occasionally. It is still under control, but I know that this is a trap.

 

I have good reasons not play games. My son is now two years and I have accomplished a lot in the past year. I do not want to go back to the misery of addiction. I will start a new 90-day detox and we'll see how far I'll go this time.

Day 1: No gaming

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3 hours ago, Mohammad said:

It is so painful to admit that I failed after 200 days of not gaming! It is been a month that I started to play games occasionally. It is still under control, but I know that this is a trap.

 

I have good reasons not play games. My son is now two years and I have accomplished a lot in the past year. I do not want to go back to the misery of addiction. I will start a new 90-day detox and we'll see how far I'll go this time.

Day 1: No gaming

It's ok.  This is such a difficult time. Just know tomorrow is a new day. Brain fog goes away. Day 50 feels the same as day 564. You got this. 

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20 hours ago, Mohammad said:

It is so painful to admit that I failed after 200 days of not gaming! It is been a month that I started to play games occasionally. It is still under control, but I know that this is a trap.

 

I have good reasons not play games. My son is now two years and I have accomplished a lot in the past year. I do not want to go back to the misery of addiction. I will start a new 90-day detox and we'll see how far I'll go this time.

Day 1: No gaming

It's incredible that you went 200 days without gaming. If you were able to do it in the past, you can do it again and even for longer! All the best! 🙂

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  • 1 month later...

Yes, that happened again. The balanced gaming strategy didn't work and I ended up wasting all my free time in the past month. It is so painful to admit it but I am happy to failing forward. I accomplished a lot in the previous detox program; 200 days without gaming when I was heavily focused on my personal growth, both mental and physical. 

From today, I am starting a new detox program in which I want to exceed my previous record. I am doing this because I love myself and my son and I know this what I have to do. 

 

Day 1 with no gaming. focusing all my energy on personal development for a greater future that I have faith in. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 7/20/2020 at 11:08 AM, BooksandTrees said:

I think you might find more success and support by interacting with other people's diaries on here. I don't mean to sound rude, or tell you how to recover. I just find reading and learning from others has helped me improve my healing and reinforce it.

Welcome back and good luck. 

Thank you. I will try to spend more time on game quitters for a few weeks to experience it. 

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  • 2 weeks later...
On 8/2/2020 at 11:58 AM, BooksandTrees said:

What keeps bringing you back to gaming and what don't you like about gaming that keeps bringing you back to this website?

I feel like you're in a cycle. 

True. I am in a vicious cycle. Pandemic forced me to stay home and it triggered my gaming habit after 200 days of detoxing! It is fun to play but I cannot keep a balanced gaming routine. I know I have to abandon it altogether unless otherwise I will sacrifice my health, family, well being and future for the immediate pleasure. I think my biggest problem is that I do not have a barrier between myself and the games. I am home behind my desk and the temptation is too strong to deal with.
 

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1 hour ago, BooksandTrees said:

What caused you to game and why did you accept it?

I think because I was bored and also I was physically exhausted. I came back from an hour of cycling. I wanted to start reading for half an hour before going to bed but ended up playing in that time frame! The temptation can happen really quickly as there are not enough barriers between me and games.

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Not trying to tell you how to live your life but might I suggest that you delete all your games? Change your passwords, etc. It just doesn't sound like you are creating many barriers and then it becomes easy to just play. If you really want to quit get rid of them. If they aren't there it becomes a lot easier to not play them.

 

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4 hours ago, MuMuMelon said:

Not trying to tell you how to live your life but might I suggest that you delete all your games? Change your passwords, etc. It just doesn't sound like you are creating many barriers and then it becomes easy to just play. If you really want to quit get rid of them. If they aren't there it becomes a lot easier to not play them.

 

I have all the games deleted, for sure. However, it takes half an hour to download and install them so the barrier isn't wide enough. I even sold my gaming laptop a year ago and I am now using a computer without a dedicated graphics card. I removed all my in-game progress a year ago but then I started from scratch. So, basically none of them was a real barrier that I cannot break when I am tempted.

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1 hour ago, Mohammad said:

I have all the games deleted, for sure. However, it takes half an hour to download and install them so the barrier isn't wide enough. I even sold my gaming laptop a year ago and I am now using a computer without a dedicated graphics card. I removed all my in-game progress a year ago but then I started from scratch. So, basically none of them was a real barrier that I cannot break when I am tempted.

What do you think about reading what you just wrote? I'm just wondering why you are trying to quit games in the first place. Maybe you need to reaffirm your reasons to hold yourself accountable during these times. Not trying to be rude. 

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