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hycniejsy

The Mad Pharmacist's Journal

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Congratulations on finishing the detox Tomasz! It's great to hear how far you've come, and all the changes you've made to improve your lifestyle. I'm glad I could help you on your journey, and I'll still be here for you, just keep on posting! All the best for not gaming the the entirety of this year :)

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Congrats Man! xD It's really inspirational to see how well you have been able to stick to your habits, especially the persistent studying. Keep on going!

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03.04.2016

I was on a scout headquarter's meeting connected to national scout event this week. That was so amazing! I met about 60 new people in 3 days! It's hard to remember all of their names, however...

I'm pretty happy today, singing while cleaning my flat and cooking dinner. This is so natural for me today, I don't even need to fight against myself to clean the flat.

By the way, tomorrow I need to pass botanics exam. I'm pretty sure I'll pass it. No, I mean, I'll fuck'em up. Guess why? Because I spent 19 hours on studying to this. So I'm pretty sure I'll AT LEAST pass it in 1st term.

 

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30.03.2016

Finally, mad pharmacists completed the detox! Hell yea!

I put a lot of effort into it, however first I want to say thank you for support to everybody:

@Cam Adair

@DaBest

@Django

@Laney

@AlexTheGrape

@Ed

@Primmulla

@SpiNips

@WorkInProgress

@DaMudaPacker

@Hitaru

@ThePerfectApology

@Somebodyelse

@Merdoc_Rowboat

14 people to support me... That's the biggest difference between journaling on GQ and doing it in private notebook.

 

I did my detox, however I want to accomplish the whole year without video games. I don't feel so many craving as I did during detox. I don't even want to play again because this is just boring activity and to be honest, my own life is much more engaging, interesting and riveting than any video game. And I appreciate that a lot!

I just want to hear soundtrack from Stick of Truth (one of the battle theme) which was playing in my head most of the time during detox. I don't want to play, I haven't even played this game in my life (only watching YT videos long time ago). I want to see a difference between me from 3 months ago and me now.

 

And I want to give you list of most important things I accomplished during this 3 months:

-I can take care about my basic needs (food, sleep, clothes, rest, hygiene etc.) without so much effort

-I know how to spend time alone in productive ways (talking with myself, studying, working, creating cards for card game or ideas for tabletop RPG, playing guitar, even READING A BOOK!)

-I'm working A LOT to be seriously good pharmacists and person at all in the future

-Passed first semester! Study regularly since then for 2-3 hours a day

-Tutoring others! I'm really proud of it, because I'm getting better at this and I also can earn some money to be more independent.

-Joined Toastmasters! Once a week I'm going on TM meating

-Tons of hours spent on other different organisations activities connected to pharmacy and scientific researches! That's seriously awesome!

-Tons of hours spent on projects connected to scouting!

-I have time for my family, girlfriend, best friends and groups of friends (I'm still an initiator and leader in most cases!)

 

However there are many things to improve. I'm gonna to write an entry almost every day to continue this journey with great people that can easily understand how devastating games can be.

-I have enough time to

Congrats and I hope the year away from video games plan/idea bares good fruit for you. :)

Edited by Somebodyelse

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04.04.2016

I see that "passion grows within time". Thanks for this sentence Cam, that's complete truth.

I completely crushed my botanics exam. 5 A4 pages of writing, perfect drawings... Even my wrist begin to hurt at the end, because I have too much to write down and too little time...

After that exam, I feel excited about what I'm going to learn through medical use of plants. That's extremely interesting! And I see why it is - because I've invested so much time and effort into it that now it is just part of me to study well.

Today I did ton of interesting and productive activities - studied, prepared for tutoring, work out, helping my friend etc. I'm so fulfilled right now - and what's more interesting I spend only 10 minutes on watching funny video on YT!

@Somebodyelse

Thanks for comment, it's really inspiring. This journey (and what's more important - the presence, the point where I am) is something I'm the most excited about. And I only pass one quarter!

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07.04.2016

Well, last 2 days were really inproductive for me. I've been procrastinating a lot on YT.

During Tuesday college activities I got severe problems with breathing. Not sure why, I called the ambulance and they call me to go home and get paracetamol, because I'm ill. I didn't know what to do, because I couldn't even focus on what I read, so I've been watching YT videos, including let's plays.

It wasn't really interesting for me, but I couldn't do much more, so I decided to go to the doctor. And he told me that it was some kind of allergic reaction, probably some kind of asthma. Gave me prescribtion for inhalator, which helped me a lot. Now I can breath normally and do what I really want to do.

That was a terrible mess. Sometimes I think like I'm working too much, but I know I'm doing that to have satisfaction from what I'm doing. Hope I'm not getting into any extremum like workaholism...

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12.04.2016

100th post and 102 days of being game free. Waaay to go!

I had severe problems with my health last weekend. It was because I was overworked and couldn't do anything like working for most of the time (about 12-14 hours per day, sounds like workaholism). I god some kind of rapid heartbeat caused by stress and I needed an ambulance all of the sudden. Very devastating feeling of doom had I been feeling during 10 minutes before ambulance had came.

Now I know that I can't just go into anything extreme: neither overplaying video games, neither overworking. It's just devastating for my health, so I need to find balance in my life. Now I'm feeling better and I'm focusing only on studying at least for next months, to recover from it.

It doesn't mean that Mad Pharmacist gave up! I just got back on the right track. And I'm still Mad one!

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Wow! Sounds like you had a pretty crazy day! You can't overdo it like that man. You gotta get adequate rest! You're work ethic is amazing though.

But as the great captain Zapp Branigan once said:

"The spirit is willing, but the flesh is spongy and bruised!"

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14.04.2016

RELAPSED. AFTER 104 DAYS. FOR 3 HOURS.

I know what I did wrong: masturbated, then watched YT gameplays for hours, and then I wanted to try myself. HOWEVER, after 3 hours I realised that it doesn't make so much sense to me, like it did before. So, I decided to stop and get back on the right track.

I'm too tired, my eyes are burning, only did mandatory activities on college and that's all of my productive day.

I'm going to give even a short note everyday here to stay focused on my dream. And my dream is living my life to the fullest without video games.

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15.04.2016

Well, after waking up I played video games for 4 hours straight, even without breakfast.

After this time I realized something like "What the fuck you're doing? It's not you anymore, come on..." And it was like cold shower to me. So I turned off all games and stopped it.

It was much easier for me than 4 months ago. And it was a conscious decision.

That's the difference between looser and winner. Winner always stands up after falling down. Looser just lays on the ground crying.

 

I did some kind of "challenge" which includes 10 behaviours that are triggers to me, especially game-related behaviours. These are:

1)NO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES! (board games are ok)

2)NO WATCHING WHILE OTHER PEOPLE PLAY!

3)NO LISTENING TO MUSIC FROM GAMES!

4)NO READING NEWS ABOUT GAMES!

5)NO DESIGNING GAMES, INCLUDING "LOOKING FOR INSPIRATION"! (I've spent a couple of hours while creating CTG and it triggered me A LOT to get back to gaming and watch how other MMO CTG works)

6)NO MASTURBATION!

7)NO SOLVING CHESS TASKS ONLINE!

8)NO GAMIFICATION OTHER THAN THIS (what I meant was my own life)

9)MAX 30 MINUTES ON STUPID THINGS ON THE INTERNET PER DAY!

10)PLAN OF COMPUTER USAGE BEFORE USING IT!

That's my own list, and I want to stick to it.

 

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16.04.2016

I don't want to play. I'm too satisfied from my own life. Games are not even matched to them. They're completely not perfect, mostly focusing only on doing one thing all the time like swinging sword etc.

So I'm focused on my goals, however my tachycardia is my biggest obstacle right now. Sometimes even if I'm not so stressed I have rapid heartbeat and that makes me anxious. I had something like that 2 times today, but 10-minute conversation with other person helped me a lot.

@Cam Adair

Thanks. I even created the whole strategy including these rules, which is pretty simple. I'll translate it into English and put on the forum on different post. Really motivating for me because I'm an analyst.

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17.04.2016

This is fuckin' ridiculous. I spent 10,5 hours today on video games!

I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE! IT'S FUCKIN FINITO!

Now I feel wrong, anxious and starving. And I didn't do anything else today like playing.

When I was doing it I felt subconsciously "Hey, dude it's not for you, what the fuck?!" But I played anyway.

NEVERMORE.

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18.04.2016

I'm 21 hours game free.

I'm feeling stressed and nervous. That's because I have many exams I didn't prepare for. I even shouted on my dad because my printer got stuck for 10 minutes.

I shouldn't do that. But this was amazing lesson for me for the rest of my life. I mean, my relapse.

Edited by hycniejsy
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19.04.2016

47 hours. And still growing. I'm just proud of myself.

Surprisingly, I passed anatomy exam. I'm happy about it, but tired because of effort I did today. I only want to go to sleep right now.

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20.04.2016

69,5 hours. And still growing. I'm just proud of myself even more than tomorrow.

I didn't study as hard as I planned today. Instead I decided to cook an awesome dish. Took me 2 hours to prepare but was worth it.

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