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hycniejsy

The Mad Pharmacist's Journal

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21.02.2016

I got too cocky yesterday. After writing last entry I spent 3 hours on watching YT funny videos.

That was huge lesson for me, however.

Now I'm tracking what I'm doing during the day, because sometimes I don't remember what I've been doing for couple of hours! That's ridiculous! But now I'll transform it into good habit.

I had to many (more than 50) tasks on my paper to-do list and because I couldn't find any other to-do tracker I started using Habitica. I see i have completely different view on gamification after 52 days of sobriety. I'm not playing, I'm using it as my to-do tracker, and also I'm tracking there 3 interesting habits: To visit facebook, email and habitica only once per day. Keeping that habit up will help me avoid procrastination!

I feel much better after rewriting my to-dos and habits on Habitica. It helped my divide it into categories and clean my mind. I was really scared of using it before, because I thought this would trigger another relapse to games. Now I see the truth is different.

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23.02.2016

I completely crushed today's exam! So happy about that.

Also, I went to workshops about applying for a job in pharmacy. This gave me so many perspectives right now.

I know that the whole effort I put into my life is worth it.

And I know, that without journalling I'll probably fall into trap called "playing excessively video games". But now I can say, never more.

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24.02.2016

I summarized my last 3 days and I see what my problem is: Procrastination

I spent 15 hours on junkie videos, TV series (even some dumb, like yugioh) and so on. Nothing useless. That gives 5 hours wasted each day.

Imagine what I'll feel if I do anything else, reading or even sleeping. I'll feel much better.

So, from today, I allow myself to watch stupid movies for no more than 20 minutes a day. That will give me 10 hours per month so that will be okay.

Any other excessive watching is forbidden for me. I'll schedule that on habitica to hurt my avatar for every MINUTE of excessive procrastination. I don't want this in my life, so I'll just get rid of it.

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25.02.2016

Today I have free day. However, I did many productive tasks! Cleaned my flat, planned the weekend and also tutoring!

Tutoring for me is seriously riveting, I can do it for 3 hours straight without any breaks, and after finishing it I feel ton of satisfaction. I also spend time on preparing my own exercises and checking homeworks. I feel like I can do that the whole day without any effort!

 

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29.02.2016

60 days of detoxing now. Way to go!

Still, today I spent couple of hours on watching Yugioh, however I did well during seminars! And now I'm back on track!

I had to analyze my priorities, that's seriously important in my case. I'm doing much more than just studying and I've been taking almost every task I get to be busy, but now I can't follow all of them. So I decided make a list, what's the most important for me. Here it is:

1)Basics - Generally many factors that help me clean my mind, and move on, from clean flat, storaging some food, having shelter, to taking care of my health, rest, appearance)

2)Pharmacy: I want to get an academic scholarship for this year's achievements, and also extend my competences in many ways.

3)Tutoring: I want to increase my tutoring skills and also prepare my own materials to be better tutor each day. To get best productivity during teaching others.

4)Gamequitting: I want to finish my 90 days detox first

5)Books: I want to read 52 books this year

6)Scouting: I want to learn as much as possible from it until I end my rover age (so I have still 1,5 year). Right now I'm doing it by doing 3 different long-term projects and serving in my troop.

7) Others: Here are everything else I want to do, but is not so much important right now than all the other things eg. Gaining CC al CL in Toastmasters, Fluent Spanish, Guitar improvising skills, Designing Tabletop RPG and ton of other projects I'd like to do in my spare time.

Obviously, I have planned time for relationships with other people. This is something that's including in Basics.

 

If you read that, I really appreciate your effort. Tell me what you think about my priorities. This will help me a lot.

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08.03.2016

Feeling great, despite being tired.

I'm working hard on everything I want to. Sometimes it happens to do some stupid things to rest and relax, but then I'm getting what I want to do.

I didn't manage to get as much statistics as I got on January. That's probably because it was semester break for me, so I didn't need to study systematically. However, since second semester have started I'm controlling amount of time I'm spending on studying, reading etc.

The old me, terrified by games is far away from me. Now I know it's to move on and focus on my own life. Because it's much more exciting, giving me challenges all the time, I can escape from my life by e.g. hanging out with my friends, so it's also social, I see steady, but constant measurable grow.

By the way, I'll try to point out all my achievents since I've quitted video games and masturbation:

1)I can take care of my flat and housework, this is just so basic for me that I'm doing it instantly

2)I passed first semester on pharmacy! And also studying systematically and not avoiding any activities! Way to go!

3)I'm tutoring for about 3-4 hours a week! Not so much, but enough for me

4)I did 68 days of detox so far

5)I read so many articles, watched so many documentaries, listened to dozens of hours of podcasts that it gave me knowledge on many interesting topics

6)I've finished some short-term projects, and working on couple of long-term projects!(I wanna to create my own tabletop RPG and CTG!)

7)I have time for my family, girlfriend, best friends

8)I have time to engage in couple of student's organisations!

Life is great!

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10.03.2016

70th day! Yay!

I'm terribly exhausted, because last night I stayed up at night until 3.a.m. That's because I was studying for important exam from inorganic chemistry. It was riveting for me to learn and about whole reactions and things like that.

However on today's test I missed only 1,5 point to pass. I'm getting so unlucky and for me that's also ridiculous because I've been preparing for 6,5 hour to pass this and I'm also tutoring chemistry. So what the fuck?

Anyway, that was a good lesson to me. Now if I were to choose staying up at night to study or sleeping, I'll pick the second option without questions.

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Most important lession to learn anything. Your brain connects your neurons over night. If you don't sleep enough you have a hard time to remember learned stuff. One sideffect of sleepdeprivation is the loss of memory.

If you want to learn things by heart it is in my experience the best way to split study session over a longer timeperiod if it is possible. And questioning yourself with cards or getting questioned by someone else needs some more time then rereading, but is still far more effective.

Just some things i learned over time of my studies. As always: feel free to ignore me if you like ;)

greetings Mario

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14.03.2016

I have a little fail two days ago, but I'm back on track right now!

I'm still game free though, however I failed on my 72nd day of being free from masturbation. I was so close to get 90 days!

However I know that things like that could happen to anybody so I just need to move on and focus on my life instead of escaping.

I'm sick right now, probably because of this sleep deprivation. That's huge lesson to me too!

 

@WorkInProgress

Thanks for support! I'm gonna split my studying into more systematic way instead of taking a big bite before every exam. That's exhausting and that's something I don't really want to do this, because today I've realised I'm studying only for MYSELF.

@Cam Adair

Thanks, now it's only 16 days! By the way, let me know when you want to make a trip to Poland!

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15.03.2016

Still sick. However I passed today's anatomy exam! Hell yea!

I'm giving myself time to sleep and rest while I'm sick. Similar situation happened about 6 months ago and during my illness I was "taking advantage" of being free from university and played for 7-8 hours instead of resting. I'm happy that this wrong attitude is my past.

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I hope you get to feeling better soon brother! Congratulations on your exam! I know that sickness seems like an excellent excuse to game for long periods guilt free. because you can't really do much else. It's tough. 

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16.03.2016

I feel better today, however I'm still sick.

I need to study for tomorrow's second term, but I have terrible concetration right now. Obviously it's not an excuse, I'll make my best!

 

@Cam Adair

Thanks for support!

@Merdoc_Rowboat

Thanks for reminding me that, you're absolutely right! That's the reason why I've fallen on being free from masturbation for 72 days. However, now it isn't any excuse to me! Nevermore!

 

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19.03.2016

I'm monitoring the amount of time I'm wasting on browsing Internet and now I see that's drastically increased over last couple of days! I have to work on it.

Even though, I did some tutoring today, cleaning my house and some rest. I feel more healthy today, but I'm still not pushing myself too hard.

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Hi Tomasz, I hope things are going well for you. I've also felt out of whack in more recent times, mostly because I felt I didn't have a sense of direction or distinct goals I wanted to accomplish. If you have a look at my journal I post some simple things to keep me on the right track like assessing what did and didn't go well during the day, and then deciding on how I'm going to do better the next day. If you're having trouble, why not give more frequent, reflective posts a try?

I hope you're having a great day!

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29.03.2016

89th day of my detox. I should be more consistent on writing journal on daily basis.

What I did during last 10 days? Well, ton of things... Joined Toastmasters and took actions on 3 other organisations, spent time with family and friends during Eastern, studied dozens of hours, worked on tutoring and my own projects, even read a book. That was (and still is) most awesome time of my life!

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30.03.2016

Finally, mad pharmacists completed the detox! Hell yea!

I put a lot of effort into it, however first I want to say thank you for support to everybody:

@Cam Adair

@DaBest

@Django

@Laney

@AlexTheGrape

@Ed

@Primmulla

@SpiNips

@WorkInProgress

@DaMudaPacker

@Hitaru

@ThePerfectApology

@Somebodyelse

@Merdoc_Rowboat

14 people to support me... That's the biggest difference between journaling on GQ and doing it in private notebook.

 

I did my detox, however I want to accomplish the whole year without video games. I don't feel so many craving as I did during detox. I don't even want to play again because this is just boring activity and to be honest, my own life is much more engaging, interesting and riveting than any video game. And I appreciate that a lot!

I just want to hear soundtrack from Stick of Truth (one of the battle theme) which was playing in my head most of the time during detox. I don't want to play, I haven't even played this game in my life (only watching YT videos long time ago). I want to see a difference between me from 3 months ago and me now.

 

And I want to give you list of most important things I accomplished during this 3 months:

-I can take care about my basic needs (food, sleep, clothes, rest, hygiene etc.) without so much effort

-I know how to spend time alone in productive ways (talking with myself, studying, working, creating cards for card game or ideas for tabletop RPG, playing guitar, even READING A BOOK!)

-I'm working A LOT to be seriously good pharmacists and person at all in the future

-Passed first semester! Study regularly since then for 2-3 hours a day

-Tutoring others! I'm really proud of it, because I'm getting better at this and I also can earn some money to be more independent.

-Joined Toastmasters! Once a week I'm going on TM meating

-Tons of hours spent on other different organisations activities connected to pharmacy and scientific researches! That's seriously awesome!

-Tons of hours spent on projects connected to scouting!

-I have time for my family, girlfriend, best friends and groups of friends (I'm still an initiator and leader in most cases!)

 

However there are many things to improve. I'm gonna to write an entry almost every day to continue this journey with great people that can easily understand how devastating games can be.

-I have enough time to

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Congratulations on completing the detox I'm glad to have supported you through your journey, and I hope you continue to live a rich and full life without gaming! My journey is only beginning and I fear it will be difficult, but I hope to one day reach the 90th day with pride as you have! Best of luck to you! 

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